Tag Archives: mental health

Going for walks

The best part of this whole pandemic has been that I have been outside on walks far more that I have in years. Just got back from the usual 5k walk I take with my wife, and we also did a masked walk with a couple, who are close friends, last night. There is something cathartic about walking and talking. Equally so, walking alone and thinking, or even listening to music, or a podcast or an audio book. I don’t know why walks are so enjoyable, but they make me feel great.

Get outside. Go for a walk. So what if it’s dark, take a flashlight or a bike light with you. So what if it’s raining or snowing, wear appropriately dry/warm clothing. So what if you don’t have someone’s go with, walk alone. Whatever the path you may be on, part of it can be walked.

Flaked out

I’m listening to music, slouched on a couch, in the living room I’ve barely left after running an errand with my daughter early this morning. I’ve dabbled in social media, eaten too much chocolate, and had to change couches to reach the phone charger. My only other task was changing a part in my coffeemaker that went faster than expected.

I’m now done with social media and will probably ignore the dense informational book I’ve been listening to and will download something fictional instead. I think I’ll take a day off exercise and just sit in the hot tub instead, if I can muster the effort to go upstairs and change. I’m doing my daily write. I’ll meditate. Maybe I’ll watch Matrix Reloaded, even though I’m not on my exercise bike. I’ll talk my wife into ordering in dinner.

It’s Saturday after the first full week back to school. I exercised the first 8 days of the new year. I struggled getting enough sleep. Some days you just need to give yourself permission to flake out.

Today is one of those days. Permission granted.

It’s just this

I was speaking to a colleague at work about sleep. She said that she was getting to bed really early and passing out exhausted, and I was saying how I was staying up late not able to fall asleep, even though I feel tired. She pointed both hands up, palms open, and made small circles, “It’s just this“.

I totally understood.

‘This’ is wearing a mask most of the day, and not seeing full expressions on the faces of students and colleagues.’This’ is pausing outside doorways to give people a wide birth to pass.’This’ is being busy, but that busyness not feeling as rewarding.’This’ is not all sitting around the same tables at lunch.’This’ is sanitizing your hands because you touched a door knob.’This’ is limiting students’ plans when we are used to always getting to yes. ‘This’ is knowing that we will likely start next September much the same as we started this school year, and knowing there are still 8 months of ‘this’ to go this school year. ‘This’ is living through a pandemic.

We might have made these adjustments fairly quickly on the outside, but ‘this’ is still not normal, and so it’s draining, and requires more effort than usual. ‘This’ will take a bit more time to fully adjust to. More time, and more sleep… Sweet dreams. We will get used to ‘this’ eventually, and when we do, we will find ways to thrive.

The battle beyond

Yesterday I wrote, ‘The battle within‘ and said,

“The battle within is greater than the battle beyond.“

And while I firmly believe this I am seeing countless tweets from educators and educational leaders across different districts, provinces, states, and international borders, talking about the overwhelm and exhaustion of their role in a pandemic. The challenge ‘beyond’ is taxing the battles ‘within’ and burnout seems endemic.

I’ve seen comments like:

“I can’t sleep thinking about how much I have to do.”

“I have no time to exercise or take care of myself.”

“I have to take the weekend off.”

“I asked for help but it isn’t coming fast enough.”

“I’m in my second year teaching and I feel I have to quit.”

“I’m tired of just doing an adequate job.”

“This is unsustainable.”

“I won’t make it to June at this pace.”

“My students deserve more, but I have nothing more to give.”

Here are a few suggestions I hope can help:

  • Take care of yourself. Busy times are exactly when self care matters most. Everything you do for yourself during these times will give you the energy to help and provide for others… but more importantly, you will just feel better!
  • Ask for help. It’s ok to let others know you need support.
  • Collaborate. Find others who can share the load, and find energy by working with others.
  • Reduce your own expectations around work load. What can you do to reduce marking, or to provide assessment that is student rather than grade focussed? Example: Instead of giving a test that takes 10 min. each to mark, give a 1-1 assessment that takes 5-10 minutes. You and your students will both get more out of the experience.
  • Take body and brain breaks. Have fun, while recharging yourself and your students.
  • Turn off work for a set time each night… be militant about this. Go for a no technology walk with someone. Put a block of time in your calendar. Play a board game.
  • Do something creative.
  • Meditate daily.
  • Get to bed early.
  • Exercise. Suggestion: Try to do a quick workout early in the morning… get your heart rate up for 20 minutes to start the day.
  • Pack healthy treats that you enjoy, so that food breaks are rewarding in more ways than one.
  • Connect with friends digitally. Your digital bubble need not be small just because your face to face one is.

This is a time when the battle beyond can overwhelm the battle within… so make intentional efforts to care for yourself and not only you, but those around you will benefit!

The battle within

The battle within is greater than the battle beyond.

It is challenging to realize that our ultimate enemy is ourselves. Our vices vary. Our demons come in different sizes. But they come from within, not from outside.

In today’s Daily Calm meditation, I heard this quote worth contemplating, “You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.”

Anger, frustration, jealousy, hurt, upset, sadness, embarrassment, pride, guilt, shame, fear, regret, anxiety… These are all things that we can not simply close our eyes to when we feel them. We rarely have complete control over how deeply we feel them. But we can decide how much we fuel them. How much we let them burn us up.

I chose my words carefully when I said, “We rarely have complete control over how deeply we feel them.” If I feel sad, I can not easily make the sadness disappear. Just like when you shut your eyes in direct sunlight, light shines through your eyelids, so too does an emotion like sadness seep in as you try to block it out.

Sometimes it’s better to feel than it is to block emotions, even if they are negative. Embrace the emotion and let it come over you. But how long do you allow this? At what point does the emotion take over? At what point does a feeling like sadness or anxiety or grief become an enemy within? At what point does it take control of you?

‘Don’t be sad.’

‘Don’t be anxious.’

There are few words that can be said with good intentions that could be worse than saying one of these phrases to a person feeling those emotions.These worlds only magnify the emotion’s hold on a person, who desperately wants to escape the overpowering feelings that are burning inside.

So if it is a battle within, how does one fight it? I’m not sure I have an answer that works for others. What works for me is to play with the ideas that bring those feelings to me. I imagine the emotion being first worse and then better. Not just worse but horrific. How much more could it hurt, how much worse could it feel. I take it to places further than it could possible go. Then I weigh how bad I really feel. Then I think about how I could feel better.

That’s how I battle. I shine the light brighter than I can look at it, then look away and the brightness seems so much less intense. I don’t try first to look away, I look more intensely, and then I choose to look away. Then it feels less like a battle to fight and more like something I have fought and moved on from. But I also don’t pretend it’s gone, I simply care less that it is there.

I don’t pretend this always works, I don’t imagine it would work for everyone, but I seldom spend time on battles I see others struggle with… and I’m sure some of my battles within are battles others could handle with ease.

I think it’s true for most everyone that the battle within is greater than the battle beyond. But I also believe that these battles need not be as big as we make them.

Make your world small

I love the advice from Kevin Cameron to #MakeYourWorldSmall. This summer I got way too involved in following world news, and pandemic numbers, and popular events on social media… most of which were two things:

1. Negative in nature.

2. Beyond my control to have any influence.

This is a time to look inward. To focus on my small community and the things I can influence. I can make a difference at work and with my family… and with myself!

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed right now. It’s easy to feel powerless. However we can make our worlds smaller and empower ourselves with energy currently being expended on things beyond our small sphere of influence.

It’s time to expend my daily mental and emotional energy in places where I’m empowered to make a difference.

Questions about September 2020

I was speaking to a friend that teaches at a university and she said about 30% of students that would normally come to her university next year are requesting a one year deferral, and taking a gap year. If that’s happening at universities across the province, and the country, that’s going to have a devastating impact on universities. Also, what are these students going to do next year? The two most productive things that students do in a gap year are work to save money, and travel (get some life experience). The job market is not going to bounce back quick enough, with unemployment at some of the highest levels in years, and most countries aren’t going to lift travel bans any time soon.

So what are all these gap year students going to do?

I wonder about the mental well-being of students who are not going to school, can’t get a job or travel, and are home and idle?

What can we do to support these students?

I also wonder if all of our colleges and universities will survive financially with such a decrease in students and revenue?

Will a percentage of high school students also stay home? Will there be a spike in high school students wanting to take online courses rather than try blended courses with teachers unfamiliar with this form of delivery?

Will private school students and their families decide that they should just go to public school rather than pay expensive tuition for an online experience?

We are headed into some very unknown territory and the impacts to what schooling might look like for September 2020 and beyond may not unfold in ways that we are expecting.