Writing is my artistic expression. My keyboard is my brush. Words are my medium. My blog is my canvas. And committing to writing daily makes me feel like an artist.
There are many families trying to create prom and grad experiences for their graduating kids. There are photo shoots happening in back yards and parks, minus the limos and groups of friends congregating at fancy halls and decorated school gyms.
I’m the parent of a Grade 12 student. Tonight was supposed to be opening night of her school play. She was to be Morticia in The Addams Family. We’re ordering in and having a family game night.
I don’t remember crossing the stage for my Grade 12 grad. I remember that I had an operation to fix my broken nose around that time, but I don’t remember missing my convocation for this, I don’t remember anything about it at all. Strange. I remember my grad dinner/dance. It was a fun night, but it isn’t something I cherish.
But my last water polo game I’d ever play in high school wasn’t cancelled. I wasn’t in band, choir, or musical theatre, and I didn’t miss my last performance. I got to walk the halls on the last days of school with my yearbook, getting it signed by friends and acquaintances.
It won’t necessarily be an easy end of the year for our high school grads. No matter how graduation is celebrated, it won’t be what was expected, what was being looked forward to. It’s up to the adults to step up and make it special. Plans might be disrupted, but we can still make events positively memorable.
This morning I went for a walk with my wife through Mundy Park. There is a 5 kilometre perimeter trail that we like to walk that takes us 50-60 minutes depending on our pace. The trail is well maintained and well used, especially by dog owners. We take the same route every time and it makes for a great uninterrupted time to chat.
I don’t usually take my phone out during the walk but today I did so to take a few pictures of trees growing out of old, larger stumps.
I love the way old stumps and roots become the home to new growth in the forest. Decaying life becomes the fuel and the foundation for new life.
It reminds me that we don’t always have to begin anew. We don’t always have to throw everything out and start fresh. We can build from a foundation we already have, and we can use existing resources to help us. Sometimes when we are looking to make changes, to make things better, we forget the accomplishments that got us where we are now.
It’s still early February, and I know we have a lot of wet and cloud-covered days to go before we can say spring has arrived. But getting outside on a bright and fair-weather day like today, and paying attention to the cycle of life in nature, reminds me that I can look positively ahead to new adventures, while also embracing the the things I hope to change. I can reflect on how these old things are an important part of the journey we all go through. When we bring life to new ideas, we need to respect the foundation of old ideas that we built on.
This is part 2 of my thoughts on Free Will and Consciousness. Part 1 assumed free will and looked at The Bell Curve of Free Will.
Part 3 will look at why I believe we have free will, but to get there I need to look first at consciousness.
Background
I’ve been reading, watching, and listening to ideas about what consciousness is. At the heart of this is the question, the Hard Problem of Consciousness.
We don’t know what creates consciousness, but we know that we integrate information from the physical world and that we are conscious of that world. We also know that the information we integrate from the physical world isn’t perfect.
I’ve said before that, “What we do know is that our perception of the world is based on models of the world and not actually the world itself. We have very faulty user interfaces, insufficient sensors, that warp our perception of reality…
Our user interface with the world is not accurate, we know this, but we also know that the world isn’t just an illusion. We know the sun emits light and heat, we can see the light on surfaces in our field of vision, and we can feel the heat on our faces. But I can’t know that my experience of the colour blue is exactly like yours, or that my comfort with the heat of the sun is similar to yours either. But I wonder how much our upbringing, and the culture we live in influence how we interpret the world around us?”
So we don’t see/hear/feel reality as it is. We have a faulty interface with reality. That relates to our senses, but what if our inner understanding of consciousness is even more faulty than our outer senses are, as they relate to our perception of our reality. What if we can’t grasp what our unconscious mind does because there is a faulty interface with our conscious mind. I think this is why it is so hard to understand free will, because we don’t understand how consciousness works and there is a black box of understanding that separates our conscious and unconscious minds. But I’ll delve into free will another time, for now, I want to look at what consciousness is?
Before I dig into this a little deeper, I’m going to take a stance that relates to the “Integrated information theory” of consciousness… the idea that consciousness comes along with integrated information. This Nova video, ‘Can we Measure Consciousness?‘ is the clearest look at this idea that I could find.
Here are my thoughts:
Increased consciousness beyond survival is not fundamental it is incidental. It’s an accident that is born out of intelligence having idle processing time, (in a way, think of this as smart systems being bored).
To begin with I will assume that every living thing has consciousness. The moment life enters into the equation, then the first ‘desire’ is reproduction. Procreation is hard-wired into living. From one-cell organisms to plants to mammals, the moment there is an opportunity to reproduce, then there is simple consciousness that drives a species to continue life, to avoid harm, and to continue the species. This is the simplest form of consciousness. I used the word ‘desire’ to suggest a form of choosing, or of wanting, that is fundamentally different than non-living things. This is my twist on panpsychism,
With more evolved brains, that have a greater amount of neurons firing, consciousness is greater than in un-evolved brains or entities. I think of this kind of like Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.
Consciousness can be found within the smallest of organisms. Consciousness increases through evolution, when species develop and move up Maslow’s hierarchy because they have additional time to ‘think’ beyond basic primitive and primary/primal needs. Organisms only consciously worry about physiological and safety needs until their predecessors brains have enough neurons and/or time to ‘think’ beyond survival and reproduction. If a species has the capacity and time to think beyond basic survival then they can think of things like community. Communities in turn create efficiencies that create more time to think beyond survival, which then permits a higher level of consciousness. Look at how far humanity has advanced in the past few hundred years, only after farming and urban living have produced significantly more time for us to be idle, to be creative, and to think about thinking. Our consciousness now allows (most of) us to spend time higher up on Maslow’s Hierarchy.
Put another way, life requires consciousness, and it starts with the desire to reproduce. From there, consciousness coincidentally builds with an organism’s complexity and boredom, or idle processing time, when brains do not have to worry about basic survival. Our consciousness is created by the number of connections in our brains, and the amount of freedom we have to think beyond our basic survival.
But we are not the only conscious animals. To me, an animal or a tree showing some compassion to another species suggests consciousness beyond what is normally attributed to other living things. Whether it is a bear saving a crow,
there appears to be a level of consciousness, thinking, understanding, or intelligence that all living things have. Why else would a bear, a cat, or a tree have compassion for another species if they were not conscious?
I started by saying, “Increased consciousness beyond survival is not fundamental it is incidental. It’s an accident that is born out of intelligence having idle processing time.” I don’t really have an argument to suggest that consciousness is incidental or accidental. Maybe I should state, “Higher consciousness is fundamental, it is a by-product of processing ability and excess time to process.” This would give life itself more reason to exist, but my hunch is that intelligence was not intentional, it is a by-product of abilities exceeding needs. However if I changed my mind, I wouldn’t have an argument for consciousness being fundamental any more than it being incidental and accidental.
Final thoughts:
What prevents us from getting to full actualization of self? The story about the tree above might be a hint. It would seem that trees are interconnected by a symbiotic relationship with microbial fungus to create a greater consciousness of the entire forest. Maybe the challenge we have is that of letting go of the self and connecting our consciousness to other humans or other species in a profound way? What is the next level of consciousness that we can achieve? Maybe I’m wrong and consciousness is truly fundamental. Maybe it is the reason for life, and we are on a journey to understand how all consciousness is connected.
My second bullet below is intentionally (un)bolded to suggest both of these ideas… either way the concepts each fit with my other conclusions.
Conclusions:
Every living thing has consciousness.
Higher consciousness is not fundamental, it is incidental or accidental, (a by-product of processing ability and boredom).
Consciousness increases in relation to two things:
More neurons or more processing ability.
More idle time.
When basic physiological and safety needs are met by an organism they develop higher order consciousness if they have the processing ability and the time to use their consciousness.
I’ve done presentations to over 1,000 kids in a gym, and to more than 200 educators at once. I don’t mind getting in front of people to speak. However, give me just three lines to read in a play and I’m a mess. The idea of acting is scary to me. That I need to worry about what I’m doing to portray a different character as well as speak is all too much for me. I don’t like doing it, and part of that comes from feeling I’m not good at it, which becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy of my performance.
This past week my youngest daughter was in a couple plays at school. I saw one of them twice and the other one three times. The kids did an amazing job! The plays where both comedies and the performers’ timing and delivery were excellent. This always impresses me, when I see young people putting themselves ‘out there’, on the stage, putting on a character that is nothing like who they really are.
Watching them reminded me of the Shakespeare quote from his play, ‘As You Like It’:
All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts, His acts being seven ages.
We are in some ways always on stage; always playing a part. I have shared this on my online profiles for well over a decade now:
A husband, a parent… An educator, a student… A thinker, a dreamer… An agent of change.
These are different parts of my life that I play. I do my best to be authentic in all of them, and I value each of these roles a lot. It is interesting that I don’t mind the role of presenter, but I fear the role as actor. I don’t mind one stage, while I loath the other.
I think this is partly why I enjoy going to a theatre, and why I enjoy watching my daughter in her plays. She gets to shine somewhere that I would struggle. She feeds off the audience where I would fear their judgement. She thrives on the laughter and applause where I would be embarrassed by it.
I can see that my daughter and I look upon a stage performance in completely different ways. This makes me think about how different my perspective must be to others perspective on life… on performing on Life’s stage. How does the idea of ‘family’ or ‘learning’ that we each have affect our performance? How does our mindset affect our skill set? My idea of acting is so different than my daughter’s. She thrives and I cower. What happens to parents that see themselves as incompetent or students that sees themselves as a stupid?
We are so different in the way we can view the same world. If I say ‘think of a dog’, one of you might think of a poodle, another might think of a pit bull; one of you might think of a pet another might think of a bite that created a lifelong fear. Our perspective is influenced greatly by our history, and while we share the same physical world, our minds construct significantly different realities.
What can we do to help those with stage fright when all the world is a stage?
We have so much to be thankful for. So much to appreciate. And so much to offer to others.
A smile.
A nod.
A pleasant greeting.
A hand.
A hug.
A patient ear.
We have so much to be grateful for. We are alive, we have a new day ahead of us that is filled with potential.
Yesterday is gone. It lingers only as much as we allow it. It can weigh upon us, or it can lift our spirits. It can take possession of our attitude in positive or negative ways, or it can be released to give us the freedom to enjoy the present.
Tomorrow can be a prison of anxiety and worry, or a reason to be excited; something to look forward to. But tomorrow is best left where it is, other than when making concrete plans.
That leaves us with now. The present is our present, our gift of being alive. It lets us seize possibilities if we allow it. We are so lucky to have this moment, right now… Thank you for sharing your present with me, for taking the time to read these words. Thank you for the good that you do to support others. Thank you for being kind.
I appreciate the moments you have shared with me. What comes next? What will you do with the gift of time that you have? How will you share that time with others? What can you do to seize the present moment? What can you now give that will also give you joy now?
Years ago, my sister took her young son to buy new shoes. When the salesperson measured his feet he told my sister, “his feet are two full sizes bigger than the shoes he has been wearing!”
My sister was shocked and asked her son, “Why didn’t you tell me your shoes were too small?”
He replied, “They don’t hurt if I scrunch my toes up like this.” And pointing to his feet, he ‘scrunched’ and curled his toes in tight.
His mom brought him new shoes, went home, and cried. She felt like a terrible mother.
Kids are resilient. This was devastating for my sister, and not a huge deal for her son. If my sister didn’t share this story, her son wouldn’t even remember it.
~~~
What are the things that we do now, either to ourselves or have inflicted upon us by others, that are equivalent to this? In what ways do we ‘scrunch up’ our lives and accept, or tolerate, something that is uncomfortable, but we accept it? We don’t attempt to change.
Is it the way we treat ourselves or the way we let someone treat us?
Is it the ache we feel but we only take care of the symptoms, not the problem? (Tylenol is easier than physiotherapy.)
Is it the unhealthy diet we choose?
Is it the distractions we choose, that take us away from more important things?
Is it the way we let trivial things consume our thoughts?
Or is it that we let negative emotions, ideas and happenstances anger us and take over what kind of day we can have?
We tolerate a lot of discomfort because discomfort isn’t pain. It doesn’t hurt to eat Cheetos rather than a healthy snack. It doesn’t hurt to watch one more episode on Netflix rather than reading a good book, doing a hobby, or spending time with family. It doesn’t hurt to complain about a colleague rather than finding something nice to say.
This quote seems very Zen Buddhist to me and I think the image goes well with it. I don’t think this is about blending work and play, I think it’s about finding joy in everything you do, and if your work is also a joy, then it isn’t something you clock in and out of. I’m interested in what others think of this quote?
Photo, ‘Behind Buddha’, taken at the Famen Temple near Xi’an, China.
