Tag Archives: learning conversations

Two wolves, 15 years later

The memory dates back 30 years, to the summer of 1993. The original writing dates back 15 years, a reflection on Remembrance Day 2008.

It’s one of my favourite pieces I’ve ever written, and it seems more relevant today than it did 15 years ago. I fear that we are farther away from peace in the Middle East than we have been since the 6 Day War of ’67, the summer before I was born. I wish there was a peaceful way forward, but I don’t see it. The good wolf is going hungry.

I’m not 100% sure the ‘two wolves’ story is Cherokee, and it’s sometimes shared as being told by a grandmother, not a grandfather. No matter the origin, it is the perfect backdrop to my post, and it speaks to the idea that these themes are nothing new to humanity. Unfortunately we don’t truly learn from our mistakes, and so history repeats itself… I hope that enough people will feed the good wolf that maybe, just maybe, we can find ways to live and love in harmony, rather than focus on hate, anger, and our differences in a way that make us act more like animals, and less like humans. Less like hungry wolves, no matter their disposition.


Two wolves

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. 

“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. 

One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” 

“The other wolf is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.” 

“The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person too.” 

The grandson thought about this for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win? 

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

It was the summer of 1993 and I was in Israel playing Water Polo at the Maccabiah Games. Certain memories stick with me to this day:

  • 40,000+ cheering fans at opening ceremonies
  • Floating in the Dead Sea
  • Having a semi-automatic machine gun unintentionally, but repeatedly bumping into me on a dance floor
  • Masada
  • Visiting Jerusalem and the Wailing Wall

My first visit to Jerusalem held a surprise. We had a day off before the semi finals and our team decided to take the bus tour to Jerusalem. I was ‘tagging along’ rather than being one of the people who chose what we did, so I neglected to read the advertisement for the bus tour. I neglected to notice that the bus first stopped at the Holocaust Museum.

I hopped on the bus, camera packed, ready to visit the sights of this ancient city. Imagine my surprise when the bus pulled into the parking lot of the Museum. “Where are we?”

My happy-go-lucky-tourist-with-camera-in-hand attitude hit a plexiglass wall the moment I walked in the door. There in front of me, on a pedestal, was a plexiglass cube about 40cm³ filled with gold teeth. Early on in the concentration camps these were pulled from the mouths of Jews on their way to the gas chambers, but it was quickly realized that dead Jews don’t scream and so they started pulling these valuable gold teeth out after the Jews had been gassed.

The Hall of Names containing Pages of Testimony commemorating the 6 million Jews who perished in the Holocaust. Photo credit: David Shankbone

The museum tour was quiet and solemn. Two translated letters, one from a German Commandant and the other from a German Captain,  also stick with me to this day. Forgive my paraphrasing, this was over 15 years ago.

The one from the German Concentration Camp Commandant was sent to another Commandant inviting him to come and see the new gas chambers where they could now, ‘efficiently exterminate 2,000 rather than just 750 Jews at a time.”

Dehumanize the targets.

The one from the Captain was giving advice to other Captains and it said, ‘Be sure that when executing Jews by firing squad to have at least two of your soldiers shooting at each Jew. Although this may seem like a waste of bullets, it removes the guilt that your soldiers feel since they know that even if they did not shoot, that the Jew would still be terminated. The cost of the extra bullet is worth the removal of guilt from your soldiers and the boost in morale.’

Depersonalize the deed.

Both of these perverse letters have had a lasting impression on me because in their own sick way, they make perfect sense. If you are going to be in the business of murder, it makes sense to think of it as extermination, as we do not think twice about exterminating bothersome bugs. If you are going ask soldiers to be obedient and murder for you, it makes sense that you remove guilt from their task.

Rationalize evil.

We do that today, after all we have ‘counter-terrorism’ and we do illegal things in the name of ‘national security’ and our soldiers die in ‘friendly fire’ and of course we don’t support this, rather we ‘support our troops’.

Which wolf are we feeding?

I’ve taught a student of the Bahia faith, whose family had to flee Iran in the middle of the night for fear of being murdered.

I’ve taught a student who hiked for three days in the mountains of Afghanistan with his pregnant mom, younger brother and father, as they fled the new regime. Mom was a teacher in Afghanistan, but when I met her she was washing dishes in a restaurant.

I’ve taught a Serbian who did her Grade 8 public speech on the cruelty of the United Nations. Her Grandfather and best friend were blown up in a crowded shopping mall by a UN plane. Her life was spared because she forgot her purse in the car and went running back to get it.

Who is the enemy?

My life has been very different. As an immigrant to Canada I moved to a mostly Greek neighbourhood and had three close friends that welcomed me into their houses and their lives. I followed these friends to a High School where, for different reasons, they all left by Grade 11, leaving me to fend for myself for Grades 12 and 13, (Ontario had Grade 13 back then).

I left high school with 5 very close friends: A Canadian born of Scottish decent, a German, an African Born Shiite Muslim, a Canadian Sunni Muslim, and a Canadian Jew with East Indian decent. Oh and as for me… my wife describes me as a Chinese Jew from Barbados… (I describe myself as Heinz57 or a mutt).

I wore a kilt in the wedding party for Ross, the Canadian Scott, and I lived with Kassim, the Shiite Muslim, in his house for 5 days leading up to his wedding, living as a surrogate brother and participating in every ceremony.

And as for being a Jew, I think most Jews would say that I am not Jewish. You see, Judiasim is a matriarchal religion and my Grandmother, my Mother’s Mother, is to this day a Catholic. She was happily married, a role model marriage like few I’ve seen, to my Jewish Grandfather until he died.

We can co-exist.

When I read Thomas Friedman’s The World Is Flat I was drawn to the ideas in his very powerful final chapter where he talks of cultures that are stuck on History rather than Hope. There can never be peace in the Middle East if History trumps Hope. Jerusalem taught me that: As a city with great historical significance to three very different religions, Jerusalem should be a sacred and holy place, not a place of hostility and tension.  But where we have ‘anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego,’ we have evil, and we will never have peace.

We remember.

There are parts of History we should not forget. After all, World War One was the ‘war to end all wars’… And so I am writing this on Remembrance Day for a reason. Whether it be concentration camps and the Holocaust or Hiroshima and Nagasaki or genocide in Russia, Rwanda, or East Timor… or any tragic historical event worth remembering… we choose to remember so that we do not repeat our mistakes. We must want and hope that things can be better. We must see lessons learned, not resentment and mistrust. The past will repeat itself if we do not see ‘joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith’… faith that tomorrow can be better than today.

And the battle continues…

“The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person too.” 

The grandson thought about this for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win? 

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.” 

May you always feed the good wolf.



Related: In Remembrance 2019.

Making time for great conversations

In the last year and a half I’ve been making time for an almost daily workout, and daily writes (here) as well as daily meditations. (See: My healthy living goals year-end reflection, with 5 key tips.)

On Tuesday I recorded a podcast with Valerie Irvine on Zoom, which I finally posted today. This was my first podcast since sharing my conversation about learning at home during the pandemic, with Dave Sands in April. I would like to podcast weekly because I love the conversations and they help me think more, and more deeply, about education and learning. However, I’ve got to figure out a schedule that works and is consistent. I’m someone that needs my routines in order to make things work. I’m not a multitasker, and I know this about myself.

I watch things like this and think that maybe I have ADHD tendencies. 😉

@heygudeI forget what I was supposed to be doing when I decided to make this ##adhd ##attentiondeficitdisorder ##add ##attentiondeficienthyperactivitydisorder

♬ original sound – erikgude

My point is, (while I still remember it), that I have to create uninterrupted time to have these conversations, and also to produce and share the podcasts. I’m on holidays now and trying to produce the recording in 15-20 minute chunks made the process twice as long. It won’t get easier when school starts. But I love having these conversations and want to have the regularly. Here are three more of my favourites podcasts from the archives:

Remi Kalir on educator agency, Josh Abrams on Meridian Academy, and Shelly Sanchez Terrell on bringing passions into reality.

There aren’t any I’ve done so far that I haven’t listened to after the fact at least twice. I’m going to figure out a schedule, probably all done on the weekends, and make this as routine as I have my other goals that I track. I need to make regular time for more of these great conversations.

Podcasting-Pairadimes-by-David-Truss

Conversations worth having

Over the past few weeks, I’ve had some wonderful conversations that I’ve had on Zoom and recorded for my podcast.

I’ve known Kelly Christopherson since I started blogging in 2006. We’ve never met face-to-face, yet I’ve spent years learning with and from him. His philosophy that ‘Every day is a professional development day’ is something I enjoy following on Twitter daily.

I met Jonathan Sclater in late 2011 or early 2012, and was fascinated by his Imaginative Learning classroom. I didn’t realize until this talk that I helped to push Jonathan into blogging and sharing his practice digitally.

Joe Truss and I connected on Twitter last year. We had a quick conversation about our last names, trying to see if we had any connections. That conversation led me to learn more first about his school’s meditation practices, and then about his inspiring work promoting culturally responsive leadership.

One thing that all four of us have in common is that we have taken to physically taking care of ourselves, and that has led us all into more resilient spaces where we have more to offer than we did before. Working in education can seem all-consuming at times and that often leads to poor habits around physical fitness and taking care of ourselves. The idea that a healthy body promotes a healthy mind is one that we have all been working on, and that comes through in all three podcasts.

I love having these conversations, and I think it’s wonderful that I get to share them. I also like that they are conversations that are as long as they need to be… they aren’t 3-5 minute sound bites, but rather full conversations. This is something I’ve enjoyed about listening to podcasts myself and I’m glad that these wonderful educators were willing to share their time with me… And you…
I’ve shared the podcast descriptions below along with links (names and images) for you to get to the podcast page to listen to them. Enjoy!

Kelly Christopherson: “Every Day is a PD Day!” Kelly and I have been connected online for 14 years, starting on a blogging platform called ELGG, which included a number of different educator communities and social networking apps that predated Facebook and Twitter. Although we have never met face-to-face, we have been connected members of each other’s personal and professional learning networks.

Jonathan Sclater is an Elementary School Principal in Coquitlam, British Columbia, Canada. He completed a Master of Education curriculum studies degree in Imaginative Education from Simon Fraser University in 2011, and he was awarded The Prime Minister’s Award for Teaching Excellence in 2012. Jonathan is passionate about using imaginative thinking in his role now as a lead learner. We discuss Imaginative Learning and the importance of taking care of ourselves in order to be able to give more of ourselves as leaders.

Joe Truss and I start the conversation off talking about taking care of ourselves so that we can be better leaders. Then we move on to meditation in schools, and then on to what it means to be a culturally responsible leader. The focus is on hearing the voices of the disadvantaged, and power differences for those that are disadvantaged, including students in relation to teachers and adults. “Moving from more equitable to equal.”

A conversation about culture

I had a great conversation last night with colleagues, Principals and Vice Principals, at our Professional Development Dinner. We broke into table groups based on the books we had read, or in my case listened to. Culture Code is a great book, and one that I listened to while on my treadmill this summer. I really enjoy audio books but this is one that I wish I had a hard copy of. It is filled with gems of ideas, but I didn’t bookmark them and it is too hard to go back in an audio book to find specific sections unless they were bookmarked.

Luckily for me, the book was just a launching point to a great conversation. I tried to summarize some key ideas at the end of the talk and this was what I came up with. I’ll start with a quote Bryan shared with us, (I’m not sure of the source):

“You have to belong to a place before you can transform it.”

We talked about the challenge of coming into a place as a new leader and how people need to feel safe before they are willing to trust and work with you. Until you build a relationship it is challenging to meaningfully lead and offer up your strengths. We also discussed 5 other ideas that we thought were really important:
  1. Agency – We all want to have agency and feel empowered. If we don’t help to give others agency, they won’t feel valued.
  2. Listen! Be present – Give people your full attention. This is especially important when someone comes to you with something that is urgent to them, even if you don’t think it is urgent.
  3. Listen! Rather than solve – Don’t try to fix or share a similar example. Coming from a teacher background, we all want to help fix the situation, we all have experiences that are relatable, but we should start by truly listening and recognizing that it is better to be heard than to be related to. 
  4. Show vulnerability (as a colleague and a leader). Be willing to say ’sorry’ and to let your staff know that you don’t know everything. 
  5. Willingness to go to the hard places. It’s not enough to gloss over things and hope they go away, or to make decisions because they are popular. 
 
Final thoughts:
Culture doesn’t develop on its own, and if it does, it’s probably not the culture you want. Building a good culture can be a slow process and yet destroying a good culture can happen very quickly. We had a great conversation at our table and I am glad that I work with an amazing group of leaders who have made these kinds of conversations part of our learning culture.

The learning doesn’t stop when I hit ‘post’!

Comments make blogging a rich experience.

Comments on four of my recent Pair-a-Dimes blog posts have blown me away!
I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again… The learning doesn’t stop when I hit ‘post’! 
Check out the amazing conversations: 

Thank you, thank you and thank you to all who have ‘joined the conversation’… I really appreciate the opportunity to learn from and with you!