Tag Archives: focus

Path to Nowhere

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We all do it.

We choose a path that doesn’t take us where we want to go… a path to nowhere.

Endless scrolling on social media. Binge-watching shows instead of pursuing hobbies. Saying yes to everything and stretching ourselves too thin. Procrastinating on big goals by tackling tiny, irrelevant tasks. Staying in our comfort zones, avoiding new skills that scare us. Skipping exercise or eating junk for quick fixes. Remaining friends with negative people who drain our energy. Buying stuff to feel better, but still feeling empty after our purchases, or buying on impulse because it’s easy, and the items aren’t too expensive.

But the costs are real. The path isn’t forward. These are all paths to nowhere.

Find your Everest

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Today’s title inspired by Dave Sands.

We had just completed our weekly training as we prepare to ‘Everest the Crunch’ (walking up the Coquitlam Crunch 37 times in 48 hours, to climb the equivalent height of Mount Everest), when Dave shared the following quote on Instagram, along with a photo of us and of a sensational sunrise behind Mount Baker from this morning.

“Refresh, renew, and re-emerge! Find your Everest, go for it, and crush it!”

This is the time of year when millions of people start New Year’s resolutions, yet statistics say that 92% of these will fail. If you want to be in the 8% success rate, take a moment to really consider what your goal is that you are going to attain with your resolution. Is it something that you can hold on to? Is it big enough to be a challenge, desirable enough to keep your drive, and yet still attainable enough that you won’t be discouraged if progress is slower than expected?

Find your Everest!

((… And follow us on our journey too.))

Where’s your focus?

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I remember a couple friends doing a puzzle in front of me that left me clueless. One of them had 2 forks and placed them on a table, one on top of the other on an angle, and asked, “What number does this represent?”

I guessed wrong and the other friend guessed right. I kept trying and got it wrong far more times than right, while my other friend got it right every time. I accused them of cheating so the guessing friend started writing the number on a piece of paper. The friend placing the forks on each other would place the utensils down, the other friend would write the number down. The first friend would wait for my guess, reveal the correct number, then my second friend would show his correct guess that he wrote down.

This went on for an embarrassingly long time, with my friends offering to tell me how they did it, and me refusing because I was going to figure it out!

I didn’t.

Finally, they showed me. When they did, I realized how the ‘tell’ was being exaggerated for my benefit, but I was so fixated on the forks that I missed it. The forks placement had nothing to do with the chosen number. After placing the forks at an odd angle on top of each other, my friend would place a few fingers on the edge of the table. How many fingers he placed there was what the mystery number was.

But my eyes stayed focused on the shapes made by the two forks. Even when my friend was tapping his fingers loudly on the table, I ignored them and stayed fixated on the forks.

I think too many people are focused on the forks these days. Where would you benefit from widening your focus and attention?

Unspoken expectations

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“Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments.”  ~Chris Williamson

We spend so much time living in the past. We beat ourselves up for what we did do, didn’t do, should have done. We build scenarios that never happened yet are fully imagined. And we play these scenarios in our mind as if they are real. Then we are helpless not to respond through thoughts and perseverations, again as if the scenarios were real.

Unspoken expectations build resentment, steal joy, and limit our presence in the present… Not because we are living in the past, but because we are living in the imagined outcomes of possibilities which never existed.

The past, real or imagined, limits our ability to truly be present now, unless we let go and focus on our presence in the present. Unless we leave our unspoken expectations behind.

A year and a half later

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I’ve had some time recently that I could have used better. It reminded me of something I shared a year-and-a-half ago, ‘If I had the time’.

I won’t reshare the whole post, but I’ll share the very powerful comic and quote I shared:

Here’s a great comic by @MrLovenstein:

And the quote by Author Julia Cameron:

“The “if I had time” lie is a convenient way to ignore the fact that novels require being written and that writing happens a sentence at a time. Sentences can happen in a moment. Enough stolen moments, enough stolen sentences, and a novel is born — without the luxury of time.”

And I ended the post with this,

“If only I had the time… would I use it? Would you? How convenient and comfortable is this lie? The reality is that if it’s important enough, there’s probably time for it, time we can find, time we can make, rather than making up excuses.”

—

Discipline is hard. Good habits are hard. Being strong in one area of your life doesn’t automatically make you strong in another. People who smoke know it’s bad for them. People cheating on their diet still want to lose weight. Yet, in both these cases the people in question could be very competent and effective in other areas of their lives.

It’s a reality that in some areas of our lives, even when we have the time, it can still be really hard to do things we actually want to do.

Love the process

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That doesn’t mean the process is easy. It doesn’t mean you wake up full of enthusiasm every day. It doesn’t mean there aren’t hard days.

Just commit to putting yourself out there. Not for an end result, not for a reward, or accolades, or achievement badges. Do enjoy those when they come, celebrate as often as you want… but don’t show up seeking the outcomes.

Show up because you made a commitment. Show up because that’s how you define your success. Show up to show up because that’s what you do, and you’ll naturally fall in love with the process.

Once you’ve fallen in love with the process, then showing up is easy, and even on the hard days you won’t struggle to show up. Then, and only then, will the real rewards come. Again, celebrate them but don’t focus on them. Focus on showing up and keep the love of the process going.

Tasks in my calendar

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I’ve got a full day today, but when I look at my calendar I don’t see meetings, I see tasks. For example, a phone call to make, an order to buy, a form submission deadline. I used to just flag tasks but I’ve found that adding them to my calendar is far more effective.

Looking at my calendar on a Monday can sometimes be daunting. So many small tasks that got carried over from the previous week. Yet this is far more effective than having a separate tasks list. Sure I still keep a small paper ‘To Do’ list with some big items that can’t just be checked off in a 15 or 30 minute calendar appointment time, but most of my tasks get calendared.

And sometimes those tasks get moved to the next day. So many times a calendar item gets swallowed up by the daily goings on of a school building. My intention to get 3 tasks done between 9:30-10:30 suddenly becomes 1 task done in the afternoon and the 2 others being pushed to later in the week. But I am definitely more efficient and effective when these tasks are in my calendar.

If I need more information before I can send an email? Slide the email right into my calendar. I need to prep (or read something) for an upcoming meeting? Slide an appointment into my calendar before the meeting.

I look at my calendar all the time. It’s available on all my devices. And consistently adding tasks to my calendar has helped me stay on top of things that can easily be missed when juggling a busy day of distractions. The key is to look back at my calendar at the end of the day and make sure anything missed gets moved forward.

Early mornings

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I’m in a bit of a rut. I get up early enough, but my usual morning routine has slowed down and I’m finding myself in a rush to get to work every morning. It’s a slow creep of distractions and general laziness that’s pushing my usual routine into a speed round of getting everything in.

What I’ve recognized is that I’ve let a general slowness creep into my morning routine. I’m not avoiding anything, I’m just not getting to everything in a timely fashion. I’ve let my routine falter not by neglecting any one part of it, but by letting wasted time sneak in.

This would be fine if I wasn’t already going to bed earlier to make sure I wake up well rested, or if this happened on weekends when I have more time… but on workdays I need my tight routine to stay tight so that I’m not shortening my cardio times and rushing my workout sets. I already work on only one muscle group because I’m pressed for time, the last thing I need to do is squeeze the sets smaller and faster.

It’s an interesting realization that I’m still getting everything done but neither to the best of my ability nor in a way that makes me feel good about it. I end up feeling rushed and feeling like I’m underperforming, neither of which is a good way to start my day. It’s like I’m going through the motions and yet feeling less accomplished.

I’m going to pay more attention to my efficiency and my focus in the morning. I’m going to stare at the blank screen when unsure what to write, rather than seeking inspiration through distractions. I might even move my meditation before writing when I’m drawing a blank on what to write about. I’m going to lighten my reps and go higher volume so that I get re-used to more volume of weights in the morning.

It’s not what happens, it’s what you do that makes the difference, and what I’m doing now isn’t making the right kind of difference! So it’s time to adapt and get better. Because I can move away from this slow creep of distraction and off task behaviour in the morning I know I will start my day feeling a lot better, and a lot less rushed.

Meditation Journey

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I’ve been struggling to meditate recently. This is a cycle I go though, and I know it’s because I’ve never really and truly gotten into a meditative state. I intellectually understand that this is a journey that I’m on, and it’s the act of returning my attention to my breath or my point of focus that is the path. I understand that I have to be accepting of the journey I’m on, and to be open to the process.

I get it.

But I also don’t.

I still have yet to reach a state where I am not just redirecting my attention. Sure I’m more forgiving of myself while in the process, and I am quicker to return my attention than I was 4 or 5 years ago… but it’s not so much a meditation exercise as it is an attention exercise.

Every meditation session is a chance for my monkey brain to ‘try to’ quiet down for just a few minutes. That’s a positive thing, it’s not that I’m feeling like I’m wasting my time. I just feel like I’m not moving towards a truly meditative state. Maybe this is it for me? This is as quiet as my brain can get. Or maybe I need a retreat where I push myself for longer than a 15 minute guided meditation?

It just gets a little frustrating because it feels more like I’m on a giant learning plateau rather than a learning journey. It feels like I am working ever so slowly on an attention exercise and I really and truly don’t even know what meditation is? In any event, I’ll keep at it.

Phone Presence

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I’m writing this on my phone. My laptop is only 20 feet away from me and I’d definitely write faster on it, yet here I am on the couch tapping away with one finger at about 1/4 the pace of typing on a real keyboard. I could use voice to text but I find that I am not as reflective when I speak rather that type my thoughts. If I was writing more than a few hundred words, I’d probably head to my laptop, but I’ve gotten very used to writing my blog on my phone and will continue to do so most days.

Phones have become an essential part of our environment that we kind of live in as well as on. We’ve developed a sort of autopoiesis – a kind of a living system that allows it to maintain and renew itself by regulating its own composition and maintaining its own boundaries. It’s sort of a symbiotic relationship where we feed the phone with time and energy, and it self-perpetuates by giving us information, connections, entertainment and other functions.

Our phones help dictate how we interact with our environment and how the environment interacts with us. Phones have become ‘our environment’ that pulls us away from being present in the world beyond our phones. Case in point, there is a very high probability that you are choosing to read this on your phone.

I, for one, spend too much time on my phone. I am slowly learning to change that. I’m not checking email into the night, and I actually have all email notifications turned off. I am going to start keeping my phone on the counter instead of in my pocket for periods of time in the evening. And I’m going to continue to keep my phone on ‘Do not Disturb’ for most of the day, with my family and a handful of closest friends having the ability to ping me when it’s on this mode.

If I’m honest, I will still live in my ‘phone environment’ a fair bit, but I want more choice about when and how much time I live in its presence.