Tag Archives: digital distractions

hand-phone meld

A stark contrast

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Today is Father’s Day. My father-in-law wanted to go to White Spot, a very BC, Canada restaurant, and so my wife, her sister and brother-in-law, and her parents went for lunch. I couldn’t help but notice families at two other tables, which offered a stark contrast in dynamics. Both tables had a person who looked like they were in their 50’s. The woman at one table was with her father, the man at the other table was with both elderly parents.

The woman was fully invested in conversation with her dad. She kept eye contact on him and leaned forward again and again to hear what her father was saying. The conversation seemed to flow, and they looked like they were having a wonderful meal.

The man at the other table was on his phone. He didn’t let it go, it was an extension of his left hand. Even when he spoke to his parents, he did not look away from it. He was typing full paragraphs into it at times, and he scrolled. And he scrolled and typed, scrolled and typed. Food arrived and he occasionally shovelled food into his mouth but his phone stayed glued to his left hand. I wasn’t watching all the time, but at no time when I looked did I see him making eye contact with his parents. The woman at the other table was always looking at her dad.

Back at the doom-scroller’s table, parents had finished their meal and their son was only about half finished his meal, still typing and scrolling as his parents waited. I had to get up to let my brother-in-law head to the bathroom and I looked over at this man’s phone. He was on Instagram. After desert his parents pulled their phones out as well, but I didn’t really pay attention for how long they had their phones out too. I can say with certainty the man never once let go of his phone during the meal. The last time I looked over, his dad was paying for the meal.

It was so stark that I had to make sure that I was paying attention to my own table, not to be too distracted by the entertainment of seeing this contrast play out in front of me. Put your phones away at meal time, if you struggle with this, don’t take your phone to the table. Your family deserves more.

Happy Father’s Day!

To pick up, put down

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We’ve heard this all before regarding habits, goals, and projects: Before you pick something new up, you need to put something else down.

The conference I went to back in October was led by Simon Breakspear who shared his Pruning Principle. He guided us to ask, “What is on my ‘Stop Doing’ list? What can I Delay, Delegate, or Dump?”

Adding a gym membership has been great, but it has come at a cost. The 15 minute commute each way means I’ve lost 30 minutes of time from my morning routine. I also spend a bit more time at the gym compared to my home workout. The question I now find myself asking is what am I going to give up to make up that time. I already get up at 5am and moving that to 4:30 would not be a healthy option for me.

I’ve decided that I’m dumping my online distractions. I’m leaving behind Wordle, Strands, and an online game that I usually play. I’m also doing zero social media in the mornings. Even 5 minutes can detract from a longer stretch or cardio workout. I’m keeping my Daily chess puzzle (while doing my bathroom duties), but not allowing any other online distractions in the morning.

I’m not sure that will be enough, but I also started writing this post last night and that’s going to help a lot too. Often the longest part of my morning is coming up with an idea to write about. If I get my idea started in the evening, that’s probably going to be the biggest contributor to not feeling rushed in the morning. I know online time in the am is also a huge distraction, especially when I’m stuck coming up with an idea. I’ll often distract myself online which is more of a delay than it is ever an inspiration.

While my gym membership has only been for a month, and two weeks of that were holidays, I know that adding the membership to my morning routine has been disruptive and unsustainable without a change. I need to prune distractions from the things in my routine that really matter.