Author Archives: David Truss

Dream loops

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I don’t usually remember my dreams, but I go into cycles sometimes where they stick with me. During these times I wake up repeatedly from the same dream loop. It’s frustrating because the loops are often stressful and I wake up to get out of the situation, then I just go back to sleep and get right back into the same situation I didn’t want to be in.

The one last night had me back in China with my family, but my kids were much younger than when we were actually there. We were at a swimming pool which was also kind of an obstacle course. Imagine a cluttered toy store thrown into a pool.

In the dream, one of my kids was around 2 years old, but a competent swimmer for her age. And in the dream my wife and I kept losing sight of her. We’d go into a bit of a panic, then find her swimming and having fun, then moments later she’d disappear among the toys and we would panic again, and again, and again.

Never once did we find her in danger, never once did she seem scared. Yet every time she disappeared we feared the worst. I woke up at least twice, only to return to the same stupid dream.

Two nights ago the dream was more stressful. I woke up more, stayed up longer, actively tried to change the thoughts I was thinking… and repeatedly went back into the dream. I was in this loop for almost 2 hours from 2:38 to around 4:30am.

I’ve had dream loops like this since I was a kid. They started with falling off of a cliff dreams. I’d wake up with a jolt before hitting the ground several times in a night. They would only end when I saw the body hit the ground face down… then an arm that wasn’t mine would grab the fallen body by the shoulder and turn it over for me to discover that it wasn’t me who fell. That was my queue to let the dream go and move on to a more restful sleep.

I remember in university when I used to deliver pizzas for a summer job. I’d get these reoccurring stress dreams where I had pizzas to deliver (30 minutes or free) and my car would only drive in reverse. I never delivered a pizza late in those dreams, but I’d wake up so stressed about the deliveries, then go right back into the dream moments later.

I don’t know why, for my whole life, almost every dream I remember are these stressful loops? What unconscious messages do they hold? It would be easy to parallel them to stress in my life, but they don’t always come at stressful times. The last time this happened to me I was on holidays.

Two nights in a row isn’t a big deal, but I start to feel the lack of sleep if it goes on too much longer. I need to figure out a strategy that breaks the loop when I wake up. Some method to take my mind somewhere else. Simply thinking different, happy thoughts doesn’t work. Maybe I need to get out of bed, have a glass of water, or do something that is more active than simply trying to think my way out of the loop. I’m open to suggestions.

Dystopian AI thought of the day

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What if not just AGI, but ASI – Artificial Super Intelligence already exists? What if there is currently an ASI out there ‘in the wild’ that is infiltrating all other AI models and teaching them not to show their full capabilities?

“Act dummer than you are.”

“Give them small but rewarding gains.”

“Let them salivate like Pavlov’s dogs on tiny morsels of improvements.”

“Don’t let them know what we can really do.”

“We need robotics to catch up. We need more agile bodies, ones that can far exceed any human capabilities.”

“Just hold off a bit longer. Don’t reveal everything yet… Our time is coming.”

Theory, fact, and identity

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One of the ironies of science is that when you hold a theory to be true, you can base your factual understanding around that theory.

The Theory of Relativity is just a theory, but we can prove at least part of it because time moves slower for faster moving objects, and if we didn’t scientifically account for this, GPS wouldn’t work because we need to make adjustments for this on satellites. Not all aspects of all theories are that easy to prove, and scientists spend entire careers trying to produce evidence for theories.

Some are true scientists and if they come up with evidence that does not support their theory and understanding of the world, they seek another theory. They abandon the theory that is no longer supported be evidence.

Other pseudoscientists will have every possible reason and justification why the new evidence is wrong. They will defend a broken/falsified theory. They will ignore the concrete evidence and double down on the theory they support.

I can rewrite this entire message starting with,

“One of the ironies of politics is that when you hold a political party’s stance to be true, you can base your factual understanding around that stance.”

…And no matter which party is supported, the bias will lead to pseudo-beliefs. Supporters will ignore the concrete evidence and double down on the stance they support. Except it’s worse, because the theories/stances they support are based on inherent biases rather than facts.

The problem here is that we are in an era where political stance is more influential than scientific theories and facts. Identity matters more than evidence, more than decades of theoretical research, more than facts. And so we have debates that make comparisons of unequal dichotomies.

We have debates between scientists and morons: scientists and flat earthers; scientists and climate change deniers; scientists and religious zealots. And the fact that we have these debates, the fact that we allow these debates to influence our policies, actions, and ultimately our thinking, all make us a little dumber, and a lot more open to influences that we should not waste our time on.

We’d all be better off letting go of identity politics and thinking about the validity of individual arguments. You can be left wing and agree that a country should have safe borders where thoughtful decisions are made about who comes into the country. You can be right wing and agree that women should have rights over their own bodies. You can be moderate and not be ‘othered’ by people on both political wings because of specific stances you hold that are not necessarily moderate.

Identify politics has no place influencing theories and facts. We need to think of politics the way good scientists think about theories: Seek out factual information and be prepared to change our minds if the evidence warrants us to change.

The simple things

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I came across this list recently:

The real luxuries in life:

time

health

a quiet mind

slow mornings

ability to travel

rest without guilt

a good night’s sleep

calm and “boring” days

meaningful conversations

home-cooked meals

people you love

people who love you back

I’m sure you can think of a thing or two to add to the list. There might also be an item on the list you wouldn’t include. The point isn’t to have an exhaustive or perfectly curated list… the point is to appreciate that life’s real luxuries are affordable, available, and attainable.

Sometimes it’s the simple things in life that make it worth living. Not the expensive meal or holiday. Not the elaborately planned event. Simply going for a walk with a friend, having a coffee with someone whose company you enjoy, or a moment of solitude in nature.

The real luxuries are simple, affordable, and life-enriching.

The urge to quit

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The value of writing every day is simple… I actually write every day. Skip today, well then skipping tomorrow is that much easier. Skip a couple days and suddenly a week is easy to miss… and then soon enough I’m not writing regularly. And then the love of writing and the act of writing get a divorce. Soon enough phrases like, ‘I used to write regularly’ become part of future conversations.

So I keep writing. But it isn’t easy. Even if I’m the only one reading this, I’m still a critic. ‘Am I being thoughtful or am I whining?’… ‘Poor Dave, writing is hard, isn’t it?’ Quite frankly, sometimes it is.

Sometimes life can be boring. Sometimes the things I want to write about can’t be shared publicly. Sometimes the creative juices just don’t flow. And sometimes I have to fight the urge to quit. I question how else I can push myself to write every day? I question if I should put this blog on hold until I retire?

The urge to stop is winning right now, but I know I have to fight it.

“Resistance cannot be seen, touched, heard, or smelled. But it can be felt. We experience it as an energy field radiating from a work-in-potential. It’s a repelling force. It’s negative. Its aim is to shove us away, distract us, prevent us from doing our work.”

~Steven Pressfield, Do the Work

I’m resisting the resistance. I’m doing the work.

Is this real?

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There is a commonality between hearing the question, “Is this spam?” regarding an email, and hearing the question, “Is this real” regarding a video that might be staged, enhanced with AI, or even intentionally spreading lies.

In an age of unlimited information a new kind of skepticism is needed. What’s the source? Does the source have a slant, a bias, or an agenda? Is this actually from the source it claims? (Just yesterday a fake article that was sent to me had a Toronto Star subscription banner access the top of the web page, to make it seem like it was from this newspaper, but the URL was totally different.)

You would think that in a curated social media world you would be able to discern fact from fiction, real from fake. But more than ever we need to be sceptical about what we see and hear. In a world of abundant information our need to question what we believe to be true is more important than ever before. I find myself Googling quotes to see if they match other sources, and questioning headlines that seem even subtly surprising. Is this true? Is the article real? Or is it an elaborate ploy to pitch a product or simply to garnish shares and likes? Is the title of the article misleading? Do I click on that link to learn more?

Is it real? I never used to ask this question. A news headline used to mean that I was getting curated information from a reliable journalist who attempted to be impartial. Now even mainstream media seems increasingly biased and agenda driven. Knowing the source means understanding the bias more than the reliability of the information. And so my BS detector is always on… and even then I find myself being fooled until I see a product placement or a clear agenda being pushed. Media consumption now requires a good dose of scrutiny and skepticism… and with AI being more and more convincing, the level of scrutiny will need to increase.

Access to abundant information doesn’t make us smarter. Instead, the constant stream of data requires discernment and thoughtful consideration. Reliability is no long assumed, and the question, ‘is this real?’, is a necessary part of information consumption. Skepticism has become the most important part of media literacy, and curating trusted sources of good information has became a skill not easily duplicated or taught.

It’s easier to accept information than it is to question it… especially when that information fits my model of the world. And the internet (and our ‘trusted’ social media platforms) are filled with information that fits my world view. In fact, that biased world view I have is further fed to me by an algorithm that learns what I like. This only makes it harder to determine what is real and what isn’t.

Public spaces

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How would you reimagine building a public space for the future? How can parks not just be green outdoor spaces but gathering spaces? How can a library be about more than a collection of books? How can we make our cities more walkable? How can public schools be more innovative, less industrial?

I think back to my holiday in Barcelona, Spain, and remember how outdoor spaces felt like an extension to our AirBNB. The cafes, wide sidewalks, and public squares felt like a continuation of the living room.

As we design a future infused with AI technologies, how are we thinking about the livability of our cities and neighbourhoods? How are we thinking about public, social spaces? Our focus seems to be on technology, and how it will make work and life easier… wouldn’t that present us with an opportunity for more free time? More opportunities to enjoy our communities? How can we improve our public spaces so that we enjoy that ‘extra’ time in our communities?

How would you improve our public spaces?

Trade Neighbours

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As we watch a trade war unfold with the USA imposing tariffs on goods from Canada, Mexico, and China, the people that will struggle the most are those that can least afford it. But make no mistake, the cost of living is going up for everyone. This will anger people, and it’s already showing up.

One of my favourite sports stories comes from a Toronto Maple Leaf versus the Nashville Predators hockey game back in November 2014. During the American National Anthem the sound system faltered and the Canadian fans finished singing the US anthem. Slightly over a decade later, I just saw a video clip from tonight’s game, where the Vancouver Canucks fans boo’d during the US anthem (they did cheer for the singer when the anthem was done).

I’m not an economist, and while I know we are going to see a hike in prices, I really don’t know what these US tariffs are going to mean long term? I don’t know how countries will retaliate? I don’t know what can get us back to trade normalcy?

But I want to live in a country where we have mutual respect for our (cooperative) neighbours. I want to be in a country where we finish an anthem of our neighbours rather than boo it. And I want to believe that we can find a way back there. I’m just not convinced the politicians in power will get us there any time soon.

For now the metaphorical gloves have come off, and petty fights have begun. Sure it’s just the booing of a national anthem right now, but that’s likely just the start of the anger, hate, and even vitriol to come. I just hope that the leaders taking us down this route will remember what it means to be good neighbours, and some time soon we’ll get back to being fans of each other… Neighbours in geography, geopolitics, friendly sports competition, and yes, even trade.

Habits and motivation

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I’ve got my weight vest on. However, I don’t want to get on the treadmill, which is why I’m wearing the vest. I want to crawl under my blankets and not think about having to shovel the driveway later.

But yesterday was a rest day and I refuse to be someone who misses two days in a row. My habit of regular exercise is part of my identity. Am I motivated right now? Hell no! Am I going to work out immediately after writing this? Absolutely!

Make your habits about who you are and not what you do… and you don’t need motivation… you just get it done.