Monthly Archives: September 2022

The Value of Critical Feedback

It’s so important to have friends and colleagues who can give you critical feedback. Yesterday I did a presentation to all of our students on the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. This was not an overview but just an introduction to the book with a personal story that demonstrated how the book influenced me in a positive way. Over the next few weeks I plan on sharing around 10 two-minute videos to help students develop and integrate one positive habit at school, using the strategies in the book.

After my presentation one of my teachers said, “Really good presentation, do you want some critical feedback?” I replied positively and she shared it with me.

I was sharing a slide about my fitness journey and tracking my workouts, and in my first year of tracking I also tracked intermittent fasting. It wasn’t part of my original plan, but I ended up talking for a bit about this too, and how it really doesn’t do much for you other than reducing calorie intake, but that it did reduce my after dinner snacking and helped me lose some unwanted weight.

This was what I got feedback on. My colleague told me that this part of the presentation wasn’t needed, and that for some of our students weight and weight loss as a topic as could be very triggering.

This was a great point! As I reflected on what I said, I not only agreed with my colleague’s feedback, I recognized how a fairly fit, pretty skinny guy talking about weight loss was insensitive… and again, wasn’t even necessary to make my point. It was easy for me to acknowledge this, see the value in receiving this feedback, and be thankful for receiving it.

This feedback will help me be a little more sensitive and thoughtful in my upcoming videos and in future presentations. I really appreciate working in an environment where my colleagues feel comfortable giving me feedback like this. Critical feedback is essential for growth, and while it can be hard to hear that my presentation might have been insensitive to some, it’s far better to know this than to be ignorant of it.

We also work hard to create an environment where our students can give each other critical feedback, and I know that this is far more likely to happen if adults in the building are also open to giving and receiving it amongst each other. Our students see their peers give a lot of presentations, and they have been getting better and better at giving good feedback, but it can still be challenging for them both giving and receiving critical feedback. The important thing is to make sure the culture is to make critical feedback constructive, even if poignant. What value does the critical feedback provide? If this is kept in mind, then the feedback can be far more helpful than just positive praise and platitudes.

But the relationship is dependent on both the giver and receiver understanding the positive intent of critical feedback. In my example above, I could clearly see my error and appreciate the feedback. That doesn’t always happen with critical feedback, and so when the feedback is not as well received, or not as obvious, that’s when it’s important to have a culture of acceptance and openness to feedback. If the culture is there, then it’s just feedback. When the culture is missing, critical feedback can be demotivating, or even hurtful.

Packaged well, in the right environment, critical feedback is a fantastic way to help adults and students alike learn and grow. It turns challenges and failures into opportunities to improve… and even the process itself holds tremendous value because giving critical feedback well is a communication skill everyone can value learning.

Big lessons from little ones

We can learn a lot from being around small kids:

• The delight and joy they find in the smallest of things.

• The ability to adapt rules to find greater joy in a game.

• The freedom to use a toy or a tool in an unintended and imaginative way.

• The way they can be completely honest without malice, shame, or ill intent.

• The comfort that they feel with their bodies and their appearance.

• The easy way in which they share love and affection with people they care about.

• The curiosity and desire to know, to understand, and to question.

It’s a shame that as adults we have let some of these little life lessons slip away.

Updating my profile picture

When you live it, you don’t see it. Maybe you feel it… we are all getting older. I had my photo taken for work recently and realized that I look quite a bit different from my online profile pictures I have been using.

The one on the left is not from too long ago (2018 or 2019), but long enough that I’m no longer that guy. More grey, higher hairline, a few deeper lines. These things are beyond my control.

What is within my control is that I’m fitter than that guy. He had about 15 unwanted pounds on him and yet weighed less than I do now. I’ve lost the unhealthy weight and added muscle.

I can’t stop time, and my face will show my age in the coming decade much more than it did in the past decade. I accept that. But I’m working on being Younger Next Year, and slowing down the ravages of time on my physical and mental health. Part of that is not pretending I’m something that I’m not… so a new profile picture is something I plan to do a bit more frequently than every 3-4 years.

Wait for it

Anticipation is a funny thing. When you look forward to something that you are excited about, the anticipation can work in your favour or against you. It can be a big part of the event, the buildup actually becomes part of the experience. It can be more fun than the actual event, like planning a surprise party for someone else where the organizing and conspiring brings great joy. It could also ruin the event when expectations exceed outcomes.

I have never been someone that gets overly excited in anticipation, and so it always fascinates me to see others build up anticipation. When my kids were young, I used to fake anticipation to play along with theirs. I didn’t want my lack of anticipation to be something that took away their joy in looking forward to an event.

I remember when we lived in China, my wife and her sister planned to surprise our kids on a visit to Thailand. My sister-in-law, brother-in-law, and their two kids were going to meet us in Chang Mai, and our kids didn’t know. The day came after a lot of excited planning and we went to a night market knowing they would be there too. The surprise was amazing. It was a wonderful reunion!

After the holiday we were flying home and one of my daughters said, “I wish that I knew they were coming so that I could have been excited longer.” I wasn’t expecting to hear this. Upon reflection of the surprise, she thought it would have been more fun to know in advance and be thrilled in the knowing. It wasn’t like she was sad, she really loved the time together, she just wished the knowing and anticipatory waiting was part of the event rather than the surprise.

That little conversation helped me appreciate the value of anticipation more. It helped me see that if you don’t build it up too much anticipation could be part of the fun. They say good things come to those who wait, but maybe sometimes the wait itself is a good thing.

Starting a new school year

As a kid I didn’t enjoy the first days of the school year. I feared getting into a class without any of my small group of friends, and then even if we got in the same class, the seating plan would separate us. I worried about who my teachers would be and if I’d like them.

Once in class with all my updated supplies, I always found it hard to start writing in a new workbook.

Even after writing my name and the subject on the cover that first blank page was daunting. My first words written were not the start of a new adventure, but rather the destruction of something perfect… and the start of a lot of work ahead that I wasn’t very excited about.

Now as an adult, I get excited about the metaphorical ‘blank page’ that the new school year brings. The year ahead has no blemishes, only an open book to be written in. The empty pages hold so much promise. The adventure ahead is real, unknown, and unrealized.

The year holds potential, it has promise, and it sits before us, students and educators alike, waiting for us to seize it. There are some nerves, even a little apprehension, but the open book is there before us and it is exciting… we just have to get the first few words out of the way.

Animal instincts

Sometimes I remind myself that we are all animals. We come from a heritage of nonverbal primates, some of whom were more like orangutans and chimpanzees than modern man. I remind myself this when we are tribal; when we fight over land; and when we are cruel and violent towards each other.

Our frontal lobes are bigger, we have the power of speech, but we are still animals. Posturing, aggression, and violence are tools rooted in our DNA as mechanisms to protect us and our community from outside threats.

I remind myself of this when I wonder how we still fight to protect borders, made up lines on a map to mark the territories of different groups of us. I remind myself of this when men are violent towards women. I remind myself of this when we hoard resources while others are left without. This is not humanity at its finest, this is humans as apex predators with an alpha male dominance hierarchy.

If this wasn’t the case, the world would be more peaceful, more equitable, and less damaged. These are things we must strive for, despite our animal instincts.

Final countdown

Just two more sleeps and the new school year begins. Some people get away for the last weekend, my wife and I almost never go away on this long weekend. We find it busy and our minds are too preoccupied with school. I’ll probably go in on Monday for a couple hours and make sure I’m ready.

Every new school year begins with so much promise, and this year feels especially filled with potential. I know we aren’t completely out of the covid cloud, but most of the restrictions we faced were to ensure there were not too many hospitalizations that we’d overburden our hospitals, and with covid cases being much milder, I think this year will be much more normal.

I never thought I’d be thankful for ‘normal’ but here we are. This year doesn’t need to be special to be good, it just needs to feel less restrictive, less focused on what we can’t do, and more focussed on what we’ve done well in the past. Rebuilding is not as hard as paving the way. The infrastructure is there, we know how to do it, we just need to execute well. But even that can be a little nerve racking looking at the whole year ahead.

Two more sleeps until the new year begins. I’m a little nervous, and quite exited about what lies ahead.

Email Fail

I think email is broken.

1. Spam – it’s not just annoying, it’s dangerous and people are scammed all the time. Sometimes you just need to click a link and you are in trouble. I’ve seen stats ranging from 45-84% of all email being spam. While spam filters might block a lot of this, too much still gets through.

2. Unsubscribe – how many things have you not subscribed to that you have to unsubscribe from? And sometimes the unsubscribe process is the way that spammers know they have a working email and so they target you more. I’ve resorted to ‘block sender’ to unsubscribe from subscriptions that I didn’t sign up for.

3. Unsolicited invitations – worse still is the follow-up, “I don’t know if you saw my first email.” I take the time to block sender when I get these. I don’t owe you a reply when I don’t know you and you cold call me through email. I didn’t miss your email, I wasn’t interested the first time, and I’m just annoyed the second.

4. “Thank you.” – You want to thank me, please do so by not sending me an email thank you. Thank you’s are very polite in conversation, they are just another email adding to my inbox when sent digitally. I know this sounds cranky, but unless you are sending me a hilarious gif that says in some way, ‘Hey, I was so thankful I found this to make you smile’, then save yourself the effort and just don’t reply with a ‘Thanks’.

5. Reply All – Hitting Reply All should require effort, such as a double check to make you think about it:

It is way too easy to Reply All, and this is used far too often. Whenever possible, I blind cc emails when they go to a lot of people and might solicit a Reply All. Sometimes I wish Reply All wasn’t even an option. For the amount of times I’ve used it, I would still be saving time if I had to type everyone’s email in to reply to all, but then also avoided receiving so many in my inbox because it was equally hard for everyone else to send them.

6. Email doesn’t stop – I have a vampire rule for email that I follow: Unless someone that works for me asks a question or needs my help (invites me in), then I’m not allowed to enter their inbox on weekends or after 6pm on a work day. It is annoying how many steps/clicks it takes to delay an email delivery until the next morning, but I’ll do it to avoid sending someone an email when they won’t be dealing with it until the next work day anyway. I rather inconvenience myself than add work to people at or after dinner or on their weekends. Even if I’m sharing a useful resource, it can wait until the next morning. I wish more people did this. If someone wants to think about work on their time off, it should be because they want to, not because a work email came in to interrupt them at home.

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In a blog post titled Finding Balance, that I wrote over 8 years ago, I created and shared the image above and I said,

“Email is not a productivity tool. It is a poorly used form of communication that engulfs productivity time and requires a disproportionate amount of our lives.”

In the past 8 years I haven’t seen any innovation in email and it still hinders more than helps productivity. Currently I use Microsoft Teams with my work teams and tell them that I will check messages there before email. At least this tool lets me contextualize the messages and so prioritizing my teams is easier than looking at the most recent email that has come in. But email still sucks too much of my time for the value that it does (and mostly does not) return.

Essentially, email has failed, and I would love to see it go away in the same way the fax machine did.

The examined life

“The unexamined life is not worth living” is a famous dictum supposedly uttered by Socrates at his trial for impiety and corrupting youth, for which he was subsequently sentenced to death. The dictum is recorded in Plato’s Apology (38a5–6) as ho dè anexétastos bíos ou biōtòs anthrṓpōi (ὁ δὲ ἀνεξέταστος βίος οὐ βιωτὸς ἀνθρώπῳ). Wikipedia

Taking away the life or death scenario, and focusing more on the pursuit of wisdom or understanding of ourselves, why is an examined life so much more meaningful, and worth living for?

‘What is the examined life?’

I don’t think the answer is navel gazing and the pursuit of knowledge. It’s not just about analyzing the wave, it’s about getting on the surfboard. It’s not about understanding the nutritional value of food, it’s about enjoying the taste, and even finding joy in the preparation of a meal. It’s not just about the absorption of information but the joy of learning something new. And it’s not just about psychology or understanding the behaviour of others, it’s about being in a loving relationship and the companionship of family and friends.

An examined life is as much about the living of a good life as it is about the examination. Because examination itself does not create value unless the examination leads to living a life worth living.

An examined life isn’t just the life of an examiner. It’s living a life that when examined is viewed with a desire to give, to share, to contribute, and/or to strive to be accomplished at something. The examined life is one of action not just thought, of participation not just observation. This is what makes it worth living.

Nationalism vs Globalism

I remember reading The World is Flat back in 2006 and thinking about how our world had changed.

I hired a patent lawyer in India shortly after that and paid less than 10% of what I would have paid in Canada (a story for another time). I recognized the value of outsourcing, and seeing the entire globe as a single supply chain. It was a time of breaking down walls and getting access to whatever you needed, wherever you needed it, faster and cheaper. We have benefited greatly from this as consumers of products, many of which are made of component parts that are manufactured in different countries around the world, then delivered to our local stores, or dropped off at our doorstep.

But the tides are changing and we could very well see a move away from the globalization we’ve been benefiting from. Shortages and supply chain issues have been issues across the globe. War, fuel costs, inflation (or stagflation), compounded with severe weather systems affecting crops, have all led to things we haven’t seen in decades: Jumps in prices, delays in delivery, and shortages in products leaving some shelves bare in our grocery store.

This is all leading to a shift from globalism to nationalism. Why would a country export a product desperately needed in their own country? Why rely on a component part being made slightly cheaper in another country when shipping and supply are causing delays in production of the final product? What is a country to do when neighbouring countries don’t trade enough food, because they are focussing on feeding themselves? And the food that is coming in is very expensive due to increased transportation costs.

All these changes lead to a more nationalistic approach. An approach counter to the globalization that brought us such prosperity, with an endless supply of cheap food and goods. Is this the end of globalization? Probably not, but it could be the start of a rebalancing where countries get more nationalistic, and things get tougher for a while.

High prices, shortages of products, and a focus on countries protecting themselves from dependencies on other countries…dependencies that we relied on to create a global economy that brought us better, and more affordable products faster than ever before. Things really might get worse before they get better. And while I believe that there will be a return to globalization, I’m not convinced it will happen any time soon.