Tag Archives: writing

Going dark next week

Starting tomorrow I’m shutting down for a week. No Daily-Ink, no Twitter, no LinkedIn, no Facebook, no Snapchat, no Tik Tok, no social media or news.

I’m taking a full break, and plan on leaving my phone in a drawer when I’m home. I’m hoping to do some daily writing (though not sharing it online) and I think next Sunday I’ll report out on how much I did… public accountability works well as a motivating factor for me.

In some ways I’m very good at moderation, and in other ways I’m not. Locking my attention into news or an app can be something that undermines my attention for too long, and now that I’m off work for the holidays I’m allowing this to happen a bit too much.

So let’s see what a cold turkey experience does to these habits. Starting midnight tonight (Sunday morning) and ending midnight next week Saturday, I’m going dark.

Catch you on the flip side.

Do I keep going?

I was looking forward to celebrating a year of Daily-Ink on July 16th… however, I just checked and my first daily ritual post (this time around) was on July 6th, 2019. The anniversary has come and gone!

Do I keep going?

I think so.

I need to make some changes though. I’m not happy writing for the sake of writing. If I don’t have something worth saying, I don’t want to fill the (public) page for the sake of filling the page. That said, if I skip a day here and there, I know what will happen: I will get busy, I will put writing on the back-burner, I’ll miss more days, and my daily habit will disappear.

I know myself enough to know that if I don’t commit to do this daily, it will not be something I’m consistently doing a year from now.

I know so. I know that I will keep going.

What I might do is skip a day or two, here or there, with respect to choosing to write publicly for my blog. What I won’t do is skip a day of writing. As long as I’m honest with myself and dedicate to writing every day, I’ll be happy. It took a long time to finally get my Daily-Ink going, and now over a year later… I’m not going to stop.

Not so open book

It’s interesting to see how much of themselves people are willing to share online. Intimate family moments like the moment parents ask a foster child if they would like to be adopted. Moments of despair, hoping for human connection. ‘Angry Karen’ moments, though admittedly these are seldom shared by the targeted ‘Karen’. Requests for prayer for an unwell relative. Wedding proposals, break-ups, bedroom/bathroom humour, and embarrassing situations that are personal, and confidential, until posted online.

I’ve never been one to keep a consistent journal, but here I am approaching a year of journaling on my Daily-Ink, and I’ve come to realize that I keep some things intentionally out of this reflective space. Not just things I can not share:

“Many challenges in schools can be summarized as: a) Someone was treated unfairly; b) Someone felt that they were treated unfairly; c) A decision that affects more than one person was deemed unfair. Put another way: actions, perceptions, and circumstances in relation to fairness are imbalanced. The moment I dissect one of these scenarios on my blog, I have the potential to undermine any resolution that may have come out of it. I would be unfair and disrespectful to some of the people involved.”

…not just these things that affect the lives of others, but things that directly affect my personal life. It’s not that I’m harbouring some big secrets, it’s just that I choose to keeps certain personal things personal.

This makes writing hard sometimes, because the things that are weighing heavy on my mind are not things I want to write about… but normally this is where my inspiration comes from. So, I sit looking at my blank screen, wondering what I’m going to write about, and deliberately choosing not to write what comes to mind.

Still, I prefer this to being a completely open book. I think some things are best kept to myself, or in my family… definitely not to be archived in a blog post, or for others, shared in a viral video. In my opinion too many people over share, without thought, simply because they can. I share a lot, but a few pages won’t ever be open, at least not here.

Journaling Out Loud

There is something cathartic about writing a public daily journal, but there is also a sense of vulnerability.

On the one hand, I get to freely publish my thoughts and ideas, on the other hand I wonder if anything I share is worth reading.

On the one hand I get feedback on my writing, on the other hand people read these thoughts and I have know idea if they found any value in them?

On the one hand I get to share my ideas and thoughts, on the other hand I worry that I might be over sharing.

Imagine how impossible it would have been 50 years ago to have a daily diary being shared beyond a household. Or to have your own video channel, or to send public messages on social media websites.

I’m sure there are some people that wonder, ‘why would anyone want to do this anyway?’ That’s actually not a bad question. For me, I love to write and I wasn’t doing enough of it. The self-created obligation to do so inspires me to make the commitment.

Sometimes I write something that I love, and it barely gets read. Sometimes I write something I find ‘fluffy’ and it gets a lot of attention. And sometimes the worlds of personal and external appreciation connect and I see something that I created and feel good about get recognition. I can say the attention doesn’t matter at that point, but I’d be lying. Why does anyone take the time to write? Why are so many books published every year? What is it that compels people to share their words with others?

Maybe it’s just attention seeking, but I don’t think so. I think that we are thinking beings that have many ways to express those thoughts and while some people really like to chat, others prefer the pen… In was going to say ‘even if it’s a digital pen’, but should say ‘especially if it’s a digital pen’.

Digital ink has some unique qualities. So does public journaling. You can link to others’ ideas:

“For years, I’ve been explaining to people that daily blogging is an extraordinarily useful habit. Even if no one reads your blog, the act of writing it is clarifying, motivating and (eventually) fun.“ ~Seth Godin

You can hash out your own ideas. It’s an opportunity to think and share in the open. It gives voice to written words. And so if you’ve read to this point, thank you.

If you’ve seen a post that resonates with you, let me know. If you disagree with me, leave a comment, or send me a private one. Or, just keep reading… and I will keep writing.

Rinse and repeat

It was bound to happen. In fact, it might have happened before this and I simply didn’t notice. Writing a daily blog since mid July, I just caught myself sharing the same idea twice. It wasn’t until I published the idea that I caught myself rinsing and repeating the same idea.

Yesterday was the second time that I wrote about asking ‘What’s the third option?‘ when looking to make a tough decision. The first time I wrote about this was back at the start of November, three and a half months ago. The post, ‘Between a Rock and a Hard Place (and…)‘, was the original post, and it is an identical idea, except with greater detail than yesterday’s post.

I had no memory of sharing the idea before. In fact I would not have known that I did this had I not reread the post after publishing it. As I reached the end, I noticed the original title in the ‘Related’ posts section. Clicking on it, I realized very quickly what I had done.

What prompted the rewrite was a conversation with someone who refused to allow any suggestion of a third option. Why I started this post saying, ‘it was bound to happen’ is because part of writing is helping to formulate and express ideas in a concrete way. The process helps me put ideas together in a way that defines my thoughts on an idea more clearly.

However, over three months later, I’m not remembering whether I shared the idea through my writing, I’m just thinking about an idea that is in my head. At first, it was interesting to me that the second post was less detailed than the original. Then, I realized that the first post was written on a Saturday, and it made sense because I give myself more time to write on weekends.

I’m sure this will happen again. I will have moments when my creative juices are flowing and I’ll share fresh ideas… or at least fresh ideas to me. And I’ll have moments when I end up recycling or repeating older ideas. The process of writing every day will lead to some repetition, hopefully though, the ideas I choose to repeat are worth reading and thinking about again. I probably won’t re-share this idea of sharing my repeats again even if I catch myself, but if you catch me doing this, please feel free to let me know.

Time and Attention

We are only ever fully present when we commit both time and attention to the things we value.

However:

  • We struggle with making time for things.
  • We struggle with giving things our full attention.

On a personal note: I don’t get too excited by anticipation. For some people, the excitement of planning something is almost as enjoyable as doing the actual thing. That’s not me. I don’t know how to put a value on this? Sometimes I think I’m missing out, other times I think I enjoy experiences more because I haven’t built it up in my head. But leaving anticipation aside, I know that at times I struggle to be fully present.

Sometimes the moment I arrive somewhere, I’m checking the time to know how long I have… I’m putting the present into a time slot. It seems there’s always another event in my calendar to get to. That’s not committing full attention.

Then on the opposite end is when I have a ton of time. Often when this happens I end up squandering much of that ’empty’ time… time that I wish I had when I’m busy; when my ‘To Do’ list is huge.

My writing changes when I give it both time and attention. This is why I’ve started writing at night. At first I needed my writing to fit into a tight timeline. I’d wake up and know that I had a maximum of 45 minutes to write, then get my meditation and workout in before my workday started. But some days I’d draw a blank and need to dip into my almost-ready drafts to fit everything in.

Now I get most of my writing done in the evening and without that hard timeline, I still usually spend less than 45 minutes writing. I think the freedom of no time constraint allows me to devote my full attention to writing.

I am not sure I’m always able to do this in other areas in my life? It isn’t easy to fully commit both time and attention to whatever we do in the present moment, but when we can do that, it is a rewarding experience. Carpe diem.

Writing as thinking

Yesterday’s post on ‘What does it mean to be conscious‘ was an exercise in thinking for me. I’ve been watching lectures and trying to formulate ideas around consciousness and free will, but my ideas are not fully formed.

Writing allows me to think ‘out loud’ in a way that would be difficult otherwise. I can change my mind as I go, rework ideas, and try to ask and answer questions that would not arise had I not taken the time to share my written thoughts.

However when I look back on yesterday’s post, I see a rough draft, not a final copy. I see the need to expand on some ideas and to clarify others. But I took advantage of a lazy Sunday and spent hours writing. I can’t keep that up. I have to accept that if I’m writing to help me think, and choosing to share this daily, then at times my writing will need to go out in draft form.

If I didn’t do this, then I’d need more daily time than I can give to my writing, or I will have to choose not to publish on some days. I prefer to keep going and accept that sometimes my writing will just be an expression of my thoughts ‘out loud’, and not my final thoughts on a topic.

I’m close to 6 months into writing daily, and I’m now at a point where I will read an old post and won’t remember exactly what I wrote or why I wrote it? Reflecting on my less-remembered work, I can really look at the quality of my writing and recognize areas of strength and weakness… that I’m not able to see when I’m in the process of writing as thinking. After I’ve written something, I think I need a little time before I can meaningfully digest, reflect, and learn further from my own writing. I’ll have to revisit yesterday’s post in the new year. For now, I’ll just need to leave it in draft form.

The antidote to writer’s block

…is this. It’s writing.

Last night before bed, I stared at a blank screen and tried writing. Nothing came to me. I started to write a number of post titles, and then I’d erase them. I looked at my saved drafts, underwhelmed and uninspired. I fell asleep working on this. I woke up with a blank page.

Fifteen minutes this morning I have stared at the blank page, thinking of a memorable moment to share, and concluding that I live a boring life. Wondering what I have of value to share, I realized that I’m stuck. If I wait any longer I will have to skip my morning workout. So I just start writing about writer’s block.

The most important thing about art is to work. Nothing else matters except sitting down every day and trying. ~Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

I’ve been here before, I’ll end up here again, it’s a creative wall we must all get over. But if I skip this hurdle, and avoid writing today, it permits me to do so again. If I sit here and don’t write, not putting these words ‘out there’, then I’ll miss my workout, thus permitting my block in one area to create a block in another.

But if I write about this block again tomorrow, then I’m skipping the hurdle in a different way. So, I give myself permission to write about writer’s block today, so that these paragraphs can unblock me.

The page is no longer blank.

Good-enough-meme

Good enough is good enough, now share it!

Writing every day for the past few months, I’ve noticed that some days I’m not completely happy with what I’ve written, but I made a commitment to write every day and to share it here. Sometimes I write something that is pretty good and it gets very little uptake, sometimes the ‘good enough’ posts get more attention than I expected. However, if I’m completely honest, most of the ‘good enough’ posts are not ones that I am proud of, should be proud of, and they really don’t get any attention at all… And that’s OK. It really is.

At school, I watch perfectionism crush students. It completely overwhelms and debilitates them. It’s sad to see highly capable students buried under the weight of something not being good enough to hand in, when while it may not be their best work it actually is good enough. Last year I was actually challenging a student to hand in some mediocre work. “What’s the minimum you need to do to hand that in?”

Don’t get me wrong, there are times when I push for students to do more, and to give their best, but for some students the bar of excellence they place on their own work is so high, they are continuously challenged to attain their own high standards. And when that bar is placed on everything they do, that becomes an impossible task.

Writing here every day, I’m not going to be publishing masterpieces. But it’s a slippery slope to say to myself, ‘I just won’t post something today’. Because tomorrow might be another one of those days, and the next day I might consider the post good, but not great. Then my daily blog is no longer daily, and my passion for writing dwindles again, as it has in the past.

Sometimes good enough is good enough. We don’t have to produce great work all the time. We don’t have to impress others and showcase only our best. Social media is filled with that, with kids taking 30 selfies because the look isn’t perfect and deleting their Instagram photos because the ‘Likes’ didn’t come fast enough. Our schools have student that do not hand in an assignment because it’s not A+ quality. And adults don’t publicly share their work because they don’t have anything of value to say… not realizing that what’s obvious to them, might actually be amazing to others.

Your work is good enough… share it.

Plus one – an audience matters

A couple days ago I wrote Publish button pangs, about the tension I feel before hitting the publish button on a blog post. I know it’s going to an audience and I want it to be perfect, even though I’m keenly aware that I will often make mistakes. Aaron Davis wrote a comment on that post and he shared:

This touches on Clive Thompson’s argument for the power of public:

Many people have told me that they feel the dynamic kick in with even a tiny handful of viewers. I’d argue that the cognitive shift in going from an audience of zero (talking to yourself) to an audience of 10 (a few friends or random strangers checking out your online post) is so big that it’s actually huger than going from 10 people to a million.

There is a lot of merit in this quote that Aaron shared. I remember teaching science and introducing Grade 8 students to wikis back in 2007. I had one ELL – English Language Learner – in my class that was quite low, and I could never get him to edit and improve his writing after handing in something. Then we started our wiki and he had his own project page (it was on the now defunct Wikispaces or I’d share it here). On this sight I had a little widget called Meebo that let me know when people were on this site, and allowed me to chat with them (they got a random number as a username, and could change that to their actual name). I remember about midway through the project I started seeing this ELL boy online after 10pm and would often end up telling him to go to bed, via the Meebo widget, closer to midnight. After about 3 days of seeing him on this site late at night, I decided to go into the wiki history and see if there was any activity by him, or was he jus looking around? It turned out he was there editing his work! There were small changes, mostly grammatical, but there was no doubt that he was working on improving his page. See An Authentic Audience Matters for more on this idea project and idea.

When a student hands in work to a teacher, there isn’t an audience, there is an assessor. No one is ‘seeing’ the work, it’s ‘just going to the teacher’. When a student has to share work with the class, suddenly there is an audience. When a student has to share something online, then there is a ‘real’ audience… even if no one is going to the page, the perception of there being one more (or 10 more) people watching changes the student’s perception of the importance to do a good job.

One counterpoint to this Clive Thompson quote:

“I’d argue that the cognitive shift in going from an audience of zero (talking to yourself) to an audience of 10 (a few friends or random strangers checking out your online post) is so big that it’s actually huger than going from 10 people to a million.”

Social media is changing this. One of my daughters, when she was younger, used to delete her Instagram posts that didn’t have a minimum threshold of ‘Likes’. Social media seems to put a bit more emphasis on popularity and a larger audiences. That same daughter though, was happy when Instagram made the shift to not letting the public see how many likes were on a post. She thought that was a great decision. So, with young students there is definitely a greater emphasis, pressure, or focus on the size of the audience.

That said, I do believe that the critical idea of having a ‘plus one’, having an audience that is bigger and unknown, increases the stakes for many, and helps inspire them to do better work. I know that’s true for me.

___

Image by cocoparisienne from Pixabay