Tag Archives: sleep

Valuing Sleep

After a wonderful summer, I’m starting to get up early again as part of my routine. It’s not a huge adjustment because almost all summer I was out of bed before 7am and often woke up minutes before an alarm set for 6am. But, I’ve found trying to get up between 5 and 5:30am a bit tough the past few days.

I have never needed a lot of sleep. Back over a couple decades ago when I was a fairly new teacher, I used to routinely sleep for 4-5 hours a night for 3-5 nights a week. Then I might feel tired and need 6 or 7 hours a night for one night before starting another 3-5 night streak of only getting 4-5 hours. This worked for me. Once a colleague told me I was going to die 10 years younger because of my lack of sleep. That night at 1am I sent him an email that said something like this: ‘So, I did the Math… if you live to 80 and I live to 70, I will have been awake for more time than you.’

I have definitely started requiring more sleep and looking back, I do think there were times my sleep pattern wasn’t healthy. For me, now, I think 7 hours is my ideal but there are times I can’t get to bed at 10pm and so I make do with between 6 and 7 hours sleep. That seems to work for me, but sometimes on weekends I will try to get a bit more. What I won’t do is get much more than 8 hours on any night. If I sleep for much more than 8 hours in a night I get a headache and my back will ache as well.

I know that averaging a little less than 7 hours per night a week will seem like not enough sleep for many. I also know that sleep is an important part of being and staying healthy. So while getting very little sleep was like some sort of stupid badge of honour for me when I was younger, I now appreciate how important it is. I will start going to sleep earlier and trying to keep my average sleep time at 7 hours a night… and after getting to bed after midnight and having my alarm go off at 5:30… that will have to start tonight.

Over tired

I crashed and burned when I got home yesterday. Just felt wiped out. Slept for a couple hours on the couch and now it’s after midnight and I can’t sleep.

Two more school days, then another week to clean up and prep for next year. Then my holidays begin. Until then, I need to keep a better pattern of sleep.

I’ve done a lot to take care of myself the last few years and sleep needs to be the next thing I figure out. I used to live easily on 5-6 hours sleep but I need more now, and I’m not getting it. I need to figure out a sleep pattern that is healthy and works for me. And that should start with me not looking at my screen so late… and on that note, it’s time to get some shut-eye!

Jet lag

It took me my entire stay in Ontario to get used to the time zone. Now I’m back in BC and I can’t keep my eyes open after dinner.

I don’t know if it’s travelling itself or the change in time zones but I’m definitely not 20 years old anymore and need to respect the needs of my body after travel.

Sweet dreams.

Crash and burn

It’s the last school day before the March break. My ‘to do’ list at work will require a bit of focus to accomplish, but it is achievable… at least if the general day-to-day interruptions are manageable, that’s an unknown that is just part of the job. The good news is that beyond an email home to students and parents before the break, I don’t have anything pressing, that can’t wait until after the break.

All that said, something that often happens when I reach this point in the year, or at the winter break, is that the first couple days of the break I just crash and burn. I fall into a mode where I sleep more than I usually do, and I feel extremely lazy. And sometimes I literally get sick. It’s like my body holds out for the break, then says ‘You made it! OK, you can let go now’, and I get sick.

However, in previous years, I would usually not be sticking to my healthy living routine right now. I’d have the mentality of, ‘ I’ll get back into shape over the break.’ But this year I’ve done some form of exercise 19 out of the last 20 days. Usually I am metaphorically burning my candle at both ends, but I’ve been intentionally getting to bed for an average of about 7 hours of sleep (I usually get 6 to six-and-a-half). And I’m of the mindset that I’m looking forward to the break, not ‘I need a break’.

While saying this all out loud doesn’t mean that my body still won’t crash to some level, it didn’t this past winter vacation, and I feel like I’ve been able to break the crash and burn routine to start my holidays. The next couple days will tell the tale. Now it’s time for my morning meditation and then on to my exercise bike… I’ve got to maintain the positive patterns that are helping break this cycle.

The Wakeful Lucid Dream

When I was in my early 20’s I went through a period where I had trained myself to lucid dream. It was challenging because often, when I discovered I was dreaming, I’d get excited and wake up, ruining the experience. When it worked, it was amazing! The thing that I enjoyed doing the most was flying.

Last night I had a unique experience. I went to the spare room late at night to meditate, because I wrote for too long in the morning and didn’t have time to both meditate and exercise as part of my morning routine. I lay down rather than sat up and ended up falling asleep with my phone on my chest, moments after hearing the guided meditation end.

Shortly after dozing off I opened my eyes and my body was frozen. I couldn’t willfully move a muscle. I could see my chest rising with my phone on it. I could even see that the reflection in my turned off phone changed with my breathing. However, I couldn’t move a single muscle no matter how hard I tried, because I was still asleep. The first time this happened to me decades earlier, it was a frightening ordeal. But this time as I struggled to raise my hands, I felt them dislodge from my locked body and lift up in my dream state, despite not seeing them move. This control of an invisible body let me know that I was still dreaming. I was dreaming with my eyes open, aware of my body on the bed, phone on my chest, fingers clasped just above my belt buckle.

It didn’t last long, I sat up in my dream and visually I switched to the dream world, seeing a mirror directly in front of me, and looking at my reflection. I wasn’t sure what I should do so I tried to fly. I floated towards the door of the room, got excited to be flying and found myself looking at my waking body, suddenly no longer locked in the sleeping position.

I wiggled my fingers. I saw my phone on my chest, and could see that as my chest raised and fell with my breath, there was a reflection of a picture on the wall that moved in the dark screen. Remembering seeing this movement made me realize that while I was sleeping I wasn’t just dreaming that I could see my body, I actually had my eyes open and was aware of my body.

This was a short but very freaky experience. I was dreaming with my eyes open, simultaneously aware of seeing my physical body and also aware that I had no control over it my my dream state. I’m not sure I’ll be able to replicate this, especially since I had nodded off with the light on, but on most nights if I opened my eyes and saw the world while I dreamt, it would be dark with little detail to see.

I’m going to spend the next few nights trying to see if I can start to lucid dream again. The strategy that worked for me years ago was to tell myself before bed that if I noticed I was dreaming to simply lift my palm in from front of my face. If I could do this in a dream, that meant I had control of my dream… and that meant I could fly!

Sometimes I had to flap my arms other times I could just soar at will. Last night for a brief moment I got to float, and I want to feel the sensation of flying again. I’m not sure I can replicate the wakeful, eyes open, aware of my body sensation while dreaming again? But hopefully I can once again start controlling my dreams and taking to adventures in the air.

Sleep cycle

I know that I don’t sleep enough, and I know that this can have long term health affects, but I can’t seem to get to bed early. And, I continue to wake up before my alarm, no matter what time I decide to wake up. My alarm has gone off once in 3 weeks and it was a night where I decided to change my wake up time during the night, rather than before bed.

But this morning I feel tired even if it was easy to beat my alarm. I actually stayed in bed until my wife’s alarm went off, but that extra time wasn’t restful as I thought about getting writing and meditation done to start the day. I run weight club today at lunch with the students and I’ll get a small workout in so that’s the time I can make up this morning.

I love working late at night. I enjoy the quiet after everyone is in bed. I usually enjoy waking up early and doing more to start my day before most people even wake up. I don’t love that doing both of these things end up giving me 7 or less hours sleep each night. I’m going to try reading in bed at night, and see if I can get myself to sleep earlier.

Just because I can consistently sleep less than 7 hours a night doesn’t mean that I should do so. There’s too much evidence to suggest this isn’t good for my long term health, and it seems silly to spend so much time exercising and taking care of myself, yet undermining my future with a lack of sleep.

3am

I’ve got my screen dimmed and the tone of my phone’s light to warm colours, but I know the screen isn’t helping me sleep so this will be short.

I fell asleep sitting upright on a chair not too long after dinner and slept for a solid 4 hours in that position. Now I’ve been restless since before 2am. I’ve reached the point where I need to write and set my alarm later, because I don’t think I can wake up before 6am, and I’m not able to fall asleep right now.

It’s one thing to need less sleep than most, another to have insomnia, and still another to mess up my own sleeping patterns by napping before bedtime. So here I am at 3:10am with self-induced insomnia, feeling like I’ve had a crappy night and needing more unconscious time to have a productive day.

15 years ago I would have just started my day. But I can’t do that anymore. I know my limits and I need 3 more hours (hopefully uninterrupted) to have a good day ahead of me. I think writing this rather than laying down aimlessly staring at nothing will give me a sense of accomplishment, and I’ll fall asleep faster. And now that I’ve done my Daily-ink, I can set my alarm a half hour later.

I’ll end by wishing myself sweet dreams. This might be the first morning in weeks I’ll hear my alarm, rather than waking up 5-10 minutes before it. But before I wake up… I need to sleep.

Internal clock

When I go to bed, I can set an alarm and the tell myself to wake up before it goes off. I’ll wake up before the alarm goes at an average better than 9 times out of 10. It doesn’t work when I’m napping. It does t work if I’ve had a few drinks. But on a typical morning, I’ll wake up anywhere from 20 minutes to 2 minutes before my alarm.

However, if I wake up and check the time an hour or more before my alarm, what I can’t do is change the time I plan to wake up. It’s like the original time is locked in, and in a half-sleeping state, I lose the ability to change that time.

This morning I woke up an hour and 25 minutes before my alarm and decided, I’ll get up 30 minutes earlier. Closed my eyes and even dreamt about waking up earlier. Then my eyes popped open 2 minutes before the original time I had planned to get up, allowing me to shut off my alarm before my wife had to hear it. No extra 30 minutes for me this morning.

Despite my inability to change the set time during the night, I’m always puzzled and amazed at how I’m able set my internal clock before going to sleep. How does my body/mind know what time it is? If I woke up at exactly the same time every day, I think this would be more understandable. But I vary my wake up time by over an hour on weekdays and wake up another hour plus later on weekends. And I haven’t heard my alarm in over 2 weeks.

With respect to how we’ve evolved, the inventions clocks is such a new novelty, that there is no way it was a necessarily learned behaviour. Being sensitive to light outside our eyelids is a natural cue to let us know it’s time to get up. But the difference between waking up at 4:45 and 5:30, in total darkness, isn’t something our bodies should just know and be able to do.

How does our body know the difference? How are we able to control an internal clock? And how do we keep track of this while we are asleep, unconscious?

Going to bed too late

I tend to fall into bad sleep patterns. It’s easy because I like to stay up late and I also like to wake up early. I wish I lived in a country that did siestas.

There is something about being up between 10pm and midnight that I enjoy, even when I’m exhausted. But when I get up well before 6am, a midnight bedtime is a bit hard to do several days in a row. When I was younger, I could live off of 4.5 to 5.5 hours of sleep a night, but as I got older it definitely affected my ability to be productive during the day, and I realized I needed more sleep.

But every now and then I get into the bad habit of staying up way too late. And often that triggers insomnia, which makes matters worse. I need to force myself to go to bed earlier. This is one place in my life where i battle with myself. There is a huge knowing-doing gap.

I still woke up before my alarm this morning, but I’m slow to get going, and needing to talk myself into my workout. I get things done at night at the expense of a productive morning. It’s not a great cycle.

This is just me making it public that I need an earlier bedtime, because for me the public declaration is a good step towards action… or is it non-action when I’m talking about adding more unconsciousness? 😜

Afternoon naps

Just woke up from a long afternoon nap. I feel great. I know I’ll be up for hours now. I think my body would respond well to living in a country that did siestas. I love staying up late. I love waking up early. I love taking afternoon naps.

Last night I went to sleep around midnight. I was up at 5:30am to do a Zoom call with my uncle in Ontario, and then I had this wonderful afternoon nap. It was a perfect day already and I have hours of awake time still to go. When I retire, I can see this being a regular routine for me. My day will include both watching sun rises and sunsets, and snoozing after lunch. That’s a perfect schedule for me… too bad I can’t make it work before retirement. 😀