Tag Archives: motivation

In a rut

My mind is a flutter. I seem to be hopping from idea to idea. At work my secretaries and I joke about me having a squirrel brain when I get like this. I start a task, get interrupted, and then don’t remember the task until much later. A student comes to ask me a question, and I can’t remember what I was doing after they leave.

Today I had to redo my meditation because I fell asleep. Then the second time the 10 minute session ended I realized I completely failed to listen to the last few minutes or focus on my breathing, and had to go back to it again.

I don’t like when I get like this, because it’s like I’ve had too much coffee, and am overstimulated. But rather than fight it, for today’s post I’ll try to embrace it and I’ll throw ‘this and that’ out in a stream of verbal diarrhea, here goes:

I got my personal best score in archery, beating my old record by one… then repeated that score. I should be thrilled. My accuracy is way up. Yet I’m mad at myself because I started both record-breaking scores with two of three shots being 8’s. And in my second round, I ended with an 8, or I would have beaten my new record rather than tied it. Oh, and I’m also mad at myself because rather than celebrating my personal best, I’m upset about these things and can’t seem to let myself celebrate the success.

Workouts are still floundering, even now I’m writing this later than usual and will have to rush my morning routine. So much for getting back into it like I’ve shared here recently. I tell myself I’ll push harder, but I really don’t. I think I need to try something really different to break this cycle. I’m usually someone that can self-motivate, but right now I feel like I need someone else to light a fire under my ass.

I finally finished a 28.5 hour audio book. It was a wonderful story but it still took me almost three months to listen to, despite enjoying it. I listened to so many books the last couple years, and this year I’m listening at a snail’s pace. I’m also behind on podcasts. I just don’t squeeze the time out of the day like I used to.

I’ve been ‘working on’ a visual that puts together some of the things we do in order to share the Heroes Journey of a student at Inquiry Hub… except I’ve been too busy at work and am actually not working on it. It’s more of a decoration on the whiteboard behind me in my office than it is a work in progress. I look at it, I haven’t really added much to it recently.

My eating habits haven’t been great. My sleeping habits haven’t been great. I’m clueless as to what’s going on in the world because not only do I not watch TV, but I’ve tuned out of social media too.

I sound like a basket case reading this over, but I’ve caught up on my email backlog, and have been tackling my ‘to do’ list at work diligently, even if sometimes lacking focus. I’m functioning pretty well, yet focused on the things I’m not doing rather than the things I’m doing well. I haven’t laughed enough recently. I haven’t felt a sense of real accomplishment. I haven’t even enjoyed my distractions.

Yet, in the grand scheme of things I’m being productive, I’m staying healthy, my family is healthy, I’m listening to good books, I’m meditating, I’m improving my archery skills. There should be a lot to celebrate, or at least appreciate. Cognitively I understand this. But I don’t know how to give myself a break and appreciate all these things?

Well, I better get my butt to my home gym and go through the motions of working out. I’ll listen to a podcast while I do, and maybe some motivational music. I’ll get out of this rut soon, but for now I’ll just go through the motions, which is better than letting myself slip.

fitness slump

I recently gave myself a big fitness goal, and then the March Break hit. Week one I stuck with things, week two I took a lazy dive. I’ve been on that lazy dive for a second week and today was supposed to be the day I broke it and started again. It wasn’t.

My motivation seems to be at an all-time low right now. But I know what I need to do. I need to ‘let go’ of the goal, and just get my butt into my gym. I need to allow myself to go through the motions and feel low… but still get in the gym and do something. I didn’t get back to things today. I will get myself back on the treadmill and lifting weights, or doing chin ups, tomorrow morning. Sometimes it’s ok just to go through the motions, but it’s not good to let myself avoid workouts. When I do this, it becomes an unhealthy loop.

So tomorrow morning, I won’t push myself on the treadmill. I’ll do some low weight with high repetition exercises. I’ll add a sticker to my chart, and at least 4 more in the weeks to come, so that I’m back to 5 workouts a week. Hopefully some time this week or next, I’ll feel more motivated and get back to my goal… but for now the goal is to just show up.

That BS kid

I was one of those kids. You know the type, every report card my marks were somewhere between average and good, with comments about me not meeting my potential… The ‘BS’ grade of ‘B’ but only a ‘S’atisfactory for effort, rather than ‘G’ood. With a few exceptions the marks could have been ‘A’s. It got worse in university where my marks became further divergent, with me getting ‘A’s in the courses I liked and ‘C’s in the ones I didn’t.

It took my Teacher Ed degree at 29 years old before my marks started to actually represent my abilities, and even then it was partially because I surrounded myself with people who pushed me. I can still hear Anna-Christana’s voice, “Dave, look at our calendar, we have 3 big things due, one on Thursday, two on Friday next week, so you need to start at least one of them this weekend, ok?”

It took me almost two decades of schooling to figure it out on my own before starting my Masters. And now, despite knowing these kind of students, despite being one of these students, I still don’t know a magic formula to move a ‘BS’ to a ‘BG’ or an ‘AG’. As a side note, it’s not as much about the ‘A’ mark as the ‘G’ for effort, that I’m really interested in seeing… change the effort, grades will eventually follow.

In high school, favourite teachers of mine could get me to put more effort into things, but they didn’t decide to be a favourite teacher, I decided. That speaks a lot to the importance of relationships in teaching, but kids don’t always meet you there. Yes, we can excite these students about a project that are in their areas of interest. Yes, we can give them more choice in assignments and ways to demonstrate learning, but at some point they need to step up too.

I wish there was a secret I could reveal. I wish I could look back in time and say, ‘If only I had done this‘, or i’If only someone had provided me with that‘, well then things would have been different. Maybe there is something, but for me it was my age and my willingness to put the effort in. Until then, learning on someone else’s agenda was pretty much BS to me.

Missed opportunities

Here are some missed opportunities in naming things that are absolutely hilarious. TikTok continues to be a 1/2 hour break in my day that is far better than any TV show I can think of.

This silly minute-long video made me think a bit about some bigger missed opportunities. I wish I travelled more when I was younger. I wish that I took up martial arts when my aunts and uncles did. I wish I learned another language. But then there are many things that I can think of that I ended up doing, like moving to China, starting and sticking with water polo, despite sucking at it to start, and more recently, starting archery, because I’ve just always wanted to do it.

Overall, I like to think of myself as someone who grabs at opportunities rather than letting them go by. That hasn’t always been the case… and maybe it still isn’t in some ways… but I think that believing that I’m someone who seizes rather than misses opportunities is a better belief system to have.

Grab that opportunity that you know you’ll miss later, if you miss it now that it’s here in front of you. What are you waiting for?

Silver lining vs grey cloud

I recently wrote this in a comment on LinkedIn, in response to my post, ‘Cruise ships and education‘:

“…the pandemic also has many thinking about coping and not thriving, being safe and not being creative.”

The pandemic has opened the door to look at things differently, but a year into this, my creative juices have slowed. I think about ideas and I see roadblocks. I tell students they can’t do things because of safety, rather than trying to get to ‘Yes’. I hold off on interesting projects that would add things to other’s plates. I feel my excitement wane when I get together for another online meeting, even if I like the topic of discussion.

I feel that opportunity is meeting fatigue. There is a saying that every grey cloud has a silver lining… but some grey clouds hide that silver lining. Sometimes the rain doesn’t even let you see the clouds. Right now the metaphorical rains are pouring for me. I’m getting work done, but I’m not thriving at work. I’m exercising regularly, but I’m going through the motions, in maintainance mode, rather than pushing myself. I’m writing daily, but I’m not getting lost in the creative act. I’m listening to a book, but not feeling like I’m enjoying it, and bouncing to podcasts that I’d normally love, but find my mind wondering, unfocused as I listen.

On Monday there was great news about how fast the vaccine would be coming to all Canadians that want it. It should have been exciting news, but I find myself doubting the timelines. In all honesty, I don’t know if I’m truly doubtful based on facts, or if I need to be doubtful because it would be painful to see that silver lining ahead of me and then be crushed that it does not come to fruition. I’d rather be pleasantly surprised than devastatingly disappointed.

“…the pandemic also has many thinking about coping and not thriving, being safe and not being creative.”

‘Many’ includes me. I’m seeing a lot of grey and not a lot of silver right now. I need to give myself permission to be in maintenance mode… To focus on caring for myself and those around me, and not beat myself up for coping rather than thriving.

_____

Postscript: I read this (long but well worth reading) article after writing the post above, and it struck a cord with me:

5 Pandemic Mistakes We Keep Repeating

…especially this part:

One thing that I didn’t balance with my thoughts above is that there are so many people who have handled this pandemic poorly, including those leading us, that in a way ‘coping’ is succeeding. We aren’t just fighting the pandemic, we are fighting misinformation, ignorance, and leadership choosing to follow the science only as far as political and economic agendas will allow… all clouds that hide the silver lining (and the hope for it).

My goal is to see some normalcy in early 2022. Anything before that isn’t just silver, it’s gold!

Wanting attention at any cost

I had a student in my gym class, a very long time ago, who was the biggest victim of bullying in the school. I was always having to look out for him, but not so much because kids would outright pick on him, but rather because he was a danger to himself. I know what this sounds like, it sounds like I’m blaming the victim… And this can be a very sensitive topic, but it is something that happens often.

This kid would call a much bigger kid stupid after the bigger kid messed up a play. He would pester someone who wasn’t involved in the play, away from the ball. He would kick a ball out of bounds for no reason. He would constantly put himself in compromising positions almost as if he was using himself as bait.

This kind of behaviour is really challenging to deal with. It seems that some kids want and need attention and are somehow internally rewarded by any attention – good or bad. This ‘attention at any price’ motivation is challenging to understand. Often when positive attention was given to this kid it was almost always followed by seeking negative attention… as if the positive attention wasn’t enough.

Give the kid a compliment, minutes later he’s egging on someone. He scores a goal, moments later he’s picking up the ball rather than kicking it, and stopping the game. He gets a point in capture the bean bag, and in the next play he keeps running after he is tagged. It’s like, ‘that attention was good, but it’s gone and I need more’.

I can only understand this behaviour as attention seeking, because I can’t understand it through another lens. I don’t see any other benefit to the behaviour. It only makes sense to me as attention seeking. But I don’t know why a kid sees this as positive? And it plays out in many ways, and not always with kids like this who help to make themselves targets of others.

Please know that there are many times that students are picked on unfairly, and bullying is an issue that is dealt with in schools all the time. Many students do not deserve the wrath they face. Bullies have often been victimized themselves in some way, and they too are often attention seeking, with a difference in that they seek attention through power. I’m not saying in any way that a victim of bullying deserves to be bullied.

What I am saying is that we don’t always know or understand how or why some people will choose to seek attention? And, this behaviour can often invite negative attention as much as positive attention. Maybe being hated feels better than being ignored. Maybe someone’s anger feels better than their disdain. Maybe feeling something is better than feeling nothing at all.

When I’m dealing with misbehaviour, I always try to understand the motivation behind the behaviour. Often that’s where the healing has to start. But when the motivation seems to be attention, it can be really hard to understand what is behind that need, and how the behaviour meets that need. I find negative attention-seeking perplexing, and don’t always get to the heart of the issue.

The hardest part of it is that the negative behaviour that draws the attention often brings desired consequences… For example, a kids draws an inappropriate picture on another student’s work. This is dealt with by a teacher and the teacher’s consequences are a form of negative attention that completes the attention-seeking loop. So, the consequence given enforces the attention-seeking behaviour, rather than teaches any kind of positive behaviour change.

I can’t say that I’m particularly good at finding the root cause of attention-seeing behaviour. It’s not always apparent or obvious. Students can be complex; their wants and needs can be hard to understand. When it comes to seeking negative attention, I don’t think students always know or understand their own motives, and even if they do, they struggle to articulate these motives in an uncomfortable conversation with adults. It can really be challenging to deal with students who seek negative attention or desire attention regardless of whether it is positive or negative.

Keeping Promises

Here is a wonderful and inspiring post by Dwight Carter, A Promise to Myself, For Myself.

Dwight decided on January 18, 2020 that he would do a workout every day for the next year, and he has now followed through on that commitment! In his post, Dwight says,

“I listened to a TEDx Talk called Winning the Mental Battle of Physical Fitness and Obesityby Dr. Ogie Shaw, and it changed my perspective on working out. One statement he made that resonated with me is, “It’s easier to work out every day than it is three days a week. Three days a week gives you too many decisions… If you are negotiating about which days to work out, it’s over.” That made sense to me. So, it was at the point that I promised myself that I was going to work out every day.”

I’ll be listening to Dr. Shaw’s TedTalk this morning on my exercise bike. Dwight goes on to share some tips that remind me a bit of ‘My healthy living goals year-end reflection, with 5 key tips‘. Those tips have allowed me to maintain my healthy living goals for another year, and I’m on track again this year.

Still, while I’ve blogged every day, and did 288 workouts last year, Dwight worked out every single day for a year. That’s impressive! Reading his post has inspired me. I realize that I’ve been slacking a bit. I’ve been waking up at inconsistent times, sometimes having to push my workout or daily meditation into the evening because the morning is too rushed. I’ve been less disciplined with my schedule.

While my goal is at least 288 workouts again this year, I’m realizing that I can do better by recommitting to my daily routine. I’m not changing my goal to daily, I already commit to daily meditation and blogging, but I’m committing to keeping my routine ‘tight’. I’m also going to stretch on my non workout days.

It’s absolutely inspiring to watch others meet their healthy living goals. I feel that Dwight has provided me with a boost at a time when, although I haven’t slacked off physically, I was beginning to slack off mentally. He has reminded me that a dedicated daily routine is what got me to meet my healthy living goals. This morning I woke up early, and I’m about to start my meditation at the time when I have been just starting to blog. Today I’ve rekindled the excitement about my routine. Thank you Dwight!

What’s that one thing?

I know that a lot of educators feel a bit overwhelmed right now. I know that others have started to strike a balance, they are figuring out what they can and can’t do in a day. For many, the current mode is: what can I do to sustain this crazy pace? What can I do to maintain my current levels of energy and output?

And yet, I’m going to ask a bit more of you… what’s that one thing you really want to try this year? What is it that you want to do to challenge the status quo, or rather challenge your status quo? Maybe it’s too early to act on this, but it’s not too early to start thinking about it.

We do not thrive when we are thinking about survival or even maintenance. We do not thrive when our minds are only on what’s next on our agenda, or our ‘to do’ list. We excel when we let our imaginations soar, and when we dream up how we can make a difference. We get excited when we push our own frontiers, and when we enter uncharted territories in new directions that we’ve chosen for ourselves.

Maybe it’s not the time to flip your whole world upside down or to take on a big project, but it is always time to ask yourself small, incremental questions that steer you in a new and exciting direction.

What can I do to help my students own more of their learning? What guiding questions do I want to ask? What can my students teach me? What new assessment strategy can I try? What can I do to connect to the parent community? What new project am I excited to introduce? What extensions can I offer my students who are ahead of the class? How can I embed some more formative assessment? How can I get my students to share their work with another class, or with the world?

What’s one thing that I’m passionate to try, that will charge my batteries far more than drain them… because doing this will make me excited about being a learner, and in control of my experience?

Maintenance mode

For the last couple weeks my fitness regimen has been about doing the bare minimum. I have at least 2 days of working out before taking a day off, and when I come back from a day off, I double my knee Physio exercises to make up for the lost day. I do an abdominal exercise between Physio sets. I do my cardio, but don’t push it with respect to effort, (I do this before my Physio). And then I pick just one body part and do three sets of a single exercise for those muscles, and I’m done.

Sometimes we need to just maintain the habit of doing something, without worrying about constantly getting better. Because the alternative is breaking the habit and going backwards. That was my old pattern. Rather than playing the long game of consistently staying healthy and keeping a good schedule, I’d go all-in and dedicate a month or two to ‘getting fit’, then I’d get busy. I’d stop the fitness habit, and ‘let things slide’ until the next health-kick of one to three months comes along… until the next busy schedule when I can’t find the time.

Maintainance mode is tough. It isn’t just going through the motions, it’s an effort that’s actually harder than when you are motivated and push your body hard. It is more difficult to do just one set of something like chin ups, when you are doing it just to get it done, rather than feeling inspired. It’s challenging to not waste time between sets, and to keep going when your heart rate is elevated but your enthusiasm isn’t.

Convincing yourself that you are doing something good for yourself when all you are really doing is maintaining the status quo is uninspiring. But so is doing nothing. So are excuses. So is the feeling of disappointment when you let things slide. Letting things slide is easier. It isn’t better. Sometimes the hard work is just showing up.

The trick is tracking the habit and not breaking it. The key is that you make the cost of breaking the habit feel more painful than not doing so. My motivation to write this is that it’s 6:20am, I’ve been up for over an hour and I haven’t done my workout yet. I am procrastinating and yet I know I’m going to work out. I know that I must… even if my energy level is low. Even if I’m just going through the motions.

Motivation isn’t hard when you are inspired. Motivation is tested when inspiration is lacking. Motivation is easy when you feel enthusiastic, but not when it is driven by a desire to just keep the habit going. That’s when the excuses creep in. What’s one more day off going to hurt? Turns out it’s easy to make that justification in the moment, but it ends up being a deal breaker; It changes a habit into an old habit; It undermines future goals and possibilities.

Maintainance mode sounds like you are just turning on the cruise control and letting things happen on their own… just going through the motions. In fact, maintainance mode is a slog, it’s work, it’s staying the course when you want to drift. It’s the hard work of being motivated when motivation is lacking. It’s the difference between keeping a habit and remembering the habit you wish you kept.

Now it’s time to work out.

What’s your Walk-up music?

If you’ve ever watched a boxing match, a UFC fight, or even fake wrestling, you know that fighters come in to ‘Walk-out music’. They have a song that pumps them up and gets them ‘Ready to Rumble’. These Walk-out/Walk-up/Walk-in songs energize you and get you ready for ‘game time’. Almost everyone knows this one.

John Spencer asked on Twitter: “If teachers had walk-up music when they started class, what would you walk-up song be?”

The resulting thread of replies is fun to check out!

I went with a song that’s very new to me, but that I love to do workout sets to, Tujamo ‘s ‘Drop that Low (When I dip)’.


A former students reminded me in a response to my tweet that for last year’s grad my walk-up music to the stage was ‘Rock Lobster’ by the B-52’s. I responded, “That was old school me, this is new school me 🤣“.

I have a small playlist on my phone called ‘All On Repeat’. These are songs I like to listen to over and over again when I work out.

Just recently, I shared a video of myself working on my handstands listening to Kesha’s ‘Your Love is My Drug’. My plank music is Eminem’s ‘Lose Yourself’. And my chin-up music, along with other exercises, rotate between ‘Paper Planes’ by M.I.A., ‘Bitter Sweet Symphony’ by The Verve, and again my new favourite, Tujamo ‘s ‘Drop that Low (When I dip)’.

I also have music that I listen to when I write. I always chose music either with no lyrics, or with lyrics that are easy to ignore. Enya is a favourite, especially songs from her album, ‘Memories of Trees’. My current go to is a bit more frenetic, Michael Denny’s ‘Nerve Centre’ available on the Calm (meditation) App. I’m listening to this as I write, now.

Music stimulates my mind, and it sets positive moods for me. When you look at my eclectic selection of songs above, they give no indication that I grew up loving Led Zeppelin (still my favourite band – and ‘No’, not a password recovery answer to retrieve any of my passwords), as well as Boston, AC/DC, and the Rolling Stones. But I also grew up on Bob Marley, Blondie, and Boney M. I’ve also grown to love musical theatre songs, thanks to a family that is obsessed with them.

My tastes vary considerably, and my workout songs are far from classic rock, but they really do ‘Pump me up‘ and motivate me to push myself. So what about you?

What’s your Walk-up music? If you had ‘game time’ music to put you into a mood to do your best, what would it be?