Tag Archives: mistakes

Dropping balls

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One of the most frustrating things is to realize that you dropped a ball. You are juggling so many things and one falls through your fingers. You miss it.

A good juggler can make the mistake a part of the show. A good leader can’t.

In this specific case it’s not that bad because the only person really let down is me. I can still pick the ball up, I can put it back into play, and the only harm is that everyone saw me drop it. A little embarrassing, but I can handle it.

I can make the excuse that I had just returned from medical leave and I had a lot of balls to juggle, but that’s not accepting ownership, it’s just making excuses. It was something that should have been prioritized. Other things were less important.

I just need to accept the mistake. I need to own it. I need to pick up the ball and put it back into play. The challenge is not explaining, justifying, or excusing, but owning my mistake. Then doing what I can to fix it.

This is harder to do when you let people down. It is challenging to face when others are counting on you.

Excuses are not the way. Own it. Do your best to make it right, and be sure to keep similar balls in the air in the future. That’s the best way forward.

The behaviour not the child

It is a simple thing to understand but not always an easy thing to do. When a kid messes up, you can focus on the behaviour that was inappropriate or you can address the kid as inappropriate. When you deal with the behavior, you give the kid a choice not to behave that way. When you deal with the kid, you are telling them that they are bad. Not what they did, they are bad.

What were you thinking? (That teenage brain probably wasn’t thinking.)

How could you do such a thing? (As opposed to ‘what other choices could you have made?’)

You should be ashamed of yourself! (Does the idea of shame make you feel resourceful and help you learn? I doubt it.)

Addressing the behaviour allows the kid to see that behaviour is a choice. Having them come up with alternate options is a way for them to see how their behaviour can change. It’s a way to help them see that the future can be different… just like in my 3rd part of an apology, students can see how a different behaviour can produce a more effective result.

You can be disappointed in a kid, but they need to know you are disappointed with their behaviour. Because if they decide that you are right, and they are just a disappointment… there isn’t the same incentive to change the behavior compared to if the kid feels empowered to change. If the kid feels like you believe they are not only capable of change but that the change is something you would expect from them, then the experience can lead to positive change… to positive changes in behaviour. A good kid can now show you that they made a bad choice.

Staying ‘on brand’ while being digitally present

A few months ago, I shared a link on Twitter to an article about James Fridman’s Twitter Account. People send James photos to Photoshop and he changes the photos in entertaining ways. Like this:

And like this:

But the ‘Featured Image’ on the post I shared was of a girl in a bathing suit who James had done one of these photoshop requests for. I shared it and then I got a Direct Message from someone in my community that I respect, who said she was surprised that I would share something like this. In all honesty, I didn’t think much of it, so I looked at the tweet again and thought two things. First, that it wasn’t a big deal that I shared a photo of someone in a bathing suit because this was about photoshop humour. Then I thought, ‘Would I share this photo on its own if it wasn’t for the article going with it?’… and I realized I wouldn’t. So, I deleted the tweet and shared one specific tweet that highlighted James’ humour, like the two tweets above.

Yesterday, I got a phone call from my sister about one of my Daily Ink blog posts. She said to me that while she understood the point I was trying to make, I came off as a bit full of myself in an unflattering way. She was right. That wasn’t my intent, but I could totally see how it could be interpreted that way. I went back to the post and made some minor changes, which I think changed the tone of the post to one that was more about my intention as opposed to mistaken interpretation.

I share a lot online. If you were to look at 100 of my blog posts, here on Daily Ink, or on my Pair-a-Dimes educational blog, or if your chose to read 100 of my tweets, I think you could learn a lot about me. I think you could get a good sense for my character, what I stand for, and what kind of a person I am. However, if you chose to judge me on my worst blog post or my worst Tweet, well then I’m sure I wouldn’t look so good. I recognize that, and I’m happy to take a look at my worst blog posts and tweets, and change or delete them. That said, I know more will come later. If I’m going to share as much as I do, I’m going to occasionally share something ‘off brand’, something that doesn’t generally fit with my identity or at least my digital identity.

I touched on this a bit in my post, Ideas on a Spectrum, where I noted that there seems to be a culture of attacking a person based on not liking their opinion or a statement they share online. I on the other hand am fortunate to have people around me that are respectful and thoughtful. The person who sent me a Direct Message about my tweet could have said something in a reply, in a public setting, to me but instead chose to send me a private message. My sister could have thought, ‘Well, that’s not like Dave’ and then let it pass by, but she gave me a call and said, “I know this isn’t what you intended, but you should know that this is how I read it.”

Public comments can help too. I really appreciated Stephen Downes helping me identify the context of a meme that I shared as my photo to go with a post. See Once upon a meme where I discussed this. Stephen said in a comment that he wouldn’t be comfortable using the meme and named the meme so that it would be easy for me to find information about it. He gave me what I needed to be informed in a pubic, but very respectable way.

These are people I want in my lives. People who know me, or I guess you could also say, ‘know my brand’, and who help me stay on course. I’ll make mistakes, and because I share a lot digitally, I’ll be making those mistakes in public. I appreciate having a community that recognize that mistakes are mistakes, and who are willing to help me.

One upon a meme

If you’ve been following my Daily Ink, you’ll know that I’ve been using meme images to accompany my daily blog posts.

(Images below link to the posts.)

Why have I been doing this? I like adding images to posts, but this daily blog is something that I want to do really quickly. So, by using meme images, I can simply find an image related to the topic, quickly add a few words, if needed, and I don’t need to worry about giving the image creator credit. Searching for the right image, adding text, and making it the featured image on my blog, will usually takes less than 5 minutes.

This is great because I’m starting back at school and need this process to be fast if I want to maintain the daily habit. However, yesterday I used this ‘Change my mind’ meme image that I’ve seen used many times before:

I have this blog set up to automatically tweet, add to my Pair-a-Dimes Facebook Page, and post on my LinkedIn profile, accompanied by the featured image on the post.

Yesterday I got a comment response on LinkedIn from Stephen Downes:

“I’m not sure I would have been comfortable using a ‘Louder with Crowder’ photo for this.”

I googled ‘Louder with Crowder’ and got to Steven Blake Crowder’s Wikipedia page, which said this:

“In June 2019, Crowder’s YouTube videos were investigated over his repeated use of racist and homophobic slurs to describe [a] journalist.”

My response to Stephen:

Just looked him up and totally agree. I have been using meme photos with my Daily Ink posts and admittedly am guilty of not paying attention to the stories behind them. Thanks for letting me know.

I then changed the image featured in the post to the more innocuous puffin meme, generally used to convey opinions that are unpopular:

Both images work for the post, but one doesn’t have a ‘charged’ connection to it. Since changing this image last night, I’ve been thinking about my use of memes. This post was educational in nature and adding the ‘Louder with Crowder’ meme image definitely did not add any value to the post, and for at least one reader was deemed inappropriate, (and I certainly appreciate Stephen bringing this to my attention).

So what now? Do I stop using memes? I’m certainly not going to attempt to check the background of every meme image I use, that would totally undermine my attempt to add images without adding significant time to my posts. So, I’ll be more cautious, use more generic images, with animals, cartoons, and famous/iconic people…

And I will make mistakes. When I do, I’ll own up to them, change them if I see fit, learn, grow, and move on.

This has made me think about some people who might have their image ‘memed’ without them liking how the image is used, and also about cultural or racial appropriation of memes. These are things I should think about before using an image. Now I will be more thoughtful, but again I will openly admit that I might make some mistakes. If I do, I’m hopeful someone will let me know so that I can address the concern and continue to learn and grow… while still having fun with memes. 😃