Tag Archives: Life Lessons

Create experiences

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This is something I’ve thought a bit about over the years. As time passes, and I’m looking ahead at retirement, I think about the time I have left with family and friends. I wonder how do I create experiences rather than just reminiscing? When we meet up, are we doing something together or are we reflecting and sharing stories of the past?

This isn’t to say reminiscing isn’t enjoyable, but simply identifying that this shouldn’t be what we do every time we get together. Are we doing something active? Are we doing something novel? Are we creating opportunities to experience something new? Are we designing our time together or just letting time pass.?

It’s easy to live a life of ‘rinse and repeat’, going through the day-to-day routine and taking both people and time for granted… ‘they will always be there’… ‘there will always be more time’. There is comfort in those beliefs, but also caution. Are we just going through the motions of life with little emotion? Or are we creating experiences that will give us future reasons to reminisce the next time we meet?

It’s the little things

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Sometimes the path to a big goal gets in the way of the small moments along the way.

Sometimes the scheduled events in your calendar rob you of the time in between meetings.

Sometimes you have to just stop thinking about what’s next, and focus on what’s now… because sometimes the little things you do in a day, with others, are more important than anything coming your way.

Appreciate the little things happening now, don’t let them slip by while looking ahead. Those moments yet to come are not lost yet, but the little things you didn’t pay attention to earlier today… those are gone now.

Giving Thanks

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It was a different kind of Thanksgiving this year, the first one where both of our daughters were not with us. We went to my sister and brother in-laws, who were also without kids, and we had paella. It was delicious, I can honestly say that I didn’t miss having turkey.

I want to take a moment and be thankful. Thankful for family and friends. Thankful for good health. Thankful to be living in a prosperous country by global standards, and thankful that it is a democracy. Thankful to live in a beautiful country that is very green and very clean. Thankful for a great job where I can contribute my services to a meaningful cause for a good wage. Thankful for access to delicious food any time that I’m hungry.

It’s when we don’t have these things that we miss them most. The fact that I do have them should not go without appreciation and thanks. I have much gratitude for the life I live, and the people I get to spend it with. 🙏

Kill a Snake

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My Grandfather liked using the saying, “Kill a snake when it’s small.” He’d walk into your house and notice a loose tile, or drawer that didn’t fully close, or some other minor issue, and the next day he’d arrive with his tools and it would be fixed.

Deal with it while it’s a small issue. This is a great strategy, but one that’s often ignored in the world of health and fitness. Maybe ‘ignored’ is too harsh of a word, it’s more like not taken seriously enough… the small snakes are not payed attention to until they get quite a bit bigger.

Sore shoulder? It doesn’t hurt too much, I’ll just keep doing what I’m doing and stop later if it really hurts.

Hernia pain is back? I don’t need to go to the doctor, I’ll just monitor it for a bit and see if it goes away.

10 pounds overweight? I’ll watch my diet for a week before I go back to my normal routine.

Too busy to work out? I’ll just work out more when things calm down.

We ignore pain until it’s too painful to ignore. We watch our weight when it’s already a big problem. We give ourselves a pass on taking care of ourselves when we are busy, only to be busy more and more frequently. We ignore the small snakes, and wait for them to be bigger than we ever hoped they’d get.

The snakes we ignore come back to bite us.

Mindset Not Wet

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I spent last night camping with a few teachers and students. A larger group of us spent a beautiful sunny day at the lake, and then a smaller group spent the night in a campground, a 5km hike from the lake. (Camping gear was delivered by car to make the trek easier after a full day at the beach.)

After bedtime it started to rain. At 3am the rain was so hard everyone woke up. I didn’t realize that a couple tents got flooded and the students moved under the shelter that was at the camp site. This morning the rain continued and really didn’t stop all day. We had planned a 9km hike, but shortened it because of the weather.

We played up the change a little because we knew some students didn’t want to hike at all in the rain. That mindset can be ‘adjusted’ a bit by making the task shorter. My PE teacher wanted to be ‘bad cop’ telling everyone that we were going on the long hike, and I could be the ‘good cop’ that shortened it, although I originally suggested the other way around.

It’s amazing noting how the difference in attitudes and mindsets framed the overall enjoyment of students on this very wet hike. We had a student leading the way and pushing the pace, despite not being someone that hikes much, and we had the ‘Eeyore’ student who continually wanted to know how much longer, and decided it would be a bad trip before the hike started.

Our mindset matters so much. We enjoy or suffer the day we have partially by the circumstances of the day, but mostly from the mindset that we set for the day. So no matter the weather, do your best to ensure your mindset isn’t wet.

Our significance

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Brian Cox is a brilliant scientist. I love this quote:

“There is only one interesting question in philosophy: What does it mean to live a finite, fragile life in an infinite eternal universe?“

@evancarmichael

The most interesting question in philosophy #briancox #philosophy #space #physics #existence #astronomy #foodforthought

♬ Experience (Cover Ludovico Einaudi) – 北昼

On the grand scale of the universe our planet is insignificant. But being the only species on the only planet that can grasp what the universe is… for millions of light years in any direction… makes us perhaps the most significant thing in our part of the universe.

Is something beautiful if no conscious being is around to observe it? Does anything matter if there is no appreciation of significance? Does the universe beyond this third closest rock from our sun understand laughter, love, or happiness? Beyond the life on earth, where is there any meaning? Where is there any significance to the existence of the universe?

I’m sure in a universe with trillions stars there is, has been, and will be other intelligent life ‘out there’. But we are very likely the most intelligent form of life circling around one of the 400 billion stars in our galaxy.

We create the meaning for our galaxy and for the entire universe. We embody an understanding and appreciation for life, time, and existence. It’s compelling to think that our existence on an insignificant planet in an insignificant galaxy in an insignificant part of the universe might be the most significant existence in that same universe.

“What does it mean to live a finite, fragile life in an infinite eternal universe?“

It means whatever meaning we give it… it’s as significant as we make it. Let’s appreciate that and not take it for granted. Life is beautiful, special, and so fleeting that every moment should be sacred.

Fishing with friends

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I got to go fishing with a couple different friends in the last few weeks. The first time we caught some trout and it was a blast. The second time, with a different friend, he caught a small catfish and I didn’t catch anything… This was also a wonderful day.

No one wants to spend a day fishing and not catch anything… that’s not the goal. But going fishing with friends isn’t just about fishing, it’s about doing something with a friend. It’s about having an experience and not just hanging out and reminiscing about past experiences. It’s all about the experience!

Yes, that experience might be more memorable if you hook a big one, but it’s not the fish that matters, it’s quality time with a friend that really matters.

Go, go, go

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The year has come to an end. Almost. Our grad is tonight night, I have a second grad to attend tomorrow night, as well as a couple luncheons… and the ‘To Do’ list seems endless.

There is always so much to do at the end of the year, but there are also celebrations and gatherings that need your full attention. That’s the trick, how do you squeeze everything in, and still give everything the time and commitment it all deserves?

You’d think I’d have it all figured out by now but I don’t. I’ll just put my head down and make the most of it. Friday afternoon will be here soon enough, and I’ll pick up all the pieces after the long weekend. The most important thing this week is fully committing to the task at hand and to the events I attend. Worrying about the next thing robs us of the joy and celebration of the end of the year. Go, go, go doesn’t work unless you spend time at each place you go to.

Frame of mind

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Yesterday I didn’t work out. I planned to but things just got in the way, including my lack of motivation. I don’t need motivation today because weekdays I have a habitual routine and I know that I’ll be working out after I publish this. But weekends are often off schedule and motivation is required. I didn’t have it yesterday.

That said, I’ve only taken one other day off in about a month, and two days are not a big deal to miss out of 30. I intellectually know this, missing my workout wasn’t a big deal. Yet because I intended to work out, I didn’t have the right frame of mind about my missed workout. If I woke up feeling awful like I did last week, head pounding, and needed a break, that’s ok. But waking up with full intention to do my daily exercise and then not doing so feels like a failure.

Yesterday I had to help my wife with a task on her computer. It’s something I’ve done many times but the setup on her computer was different and this simple process took 3 times as long as it should have. I was frustrated. I was speaking to the computer as if it was an animate object that could hear me. I swore. I got angry. I wanted to throw the laptop across the room. It was stupid, and worse yet the whole thing still only took about 5-6 minutes to do. I should never have let this minor slow down get to me, but I wasn’t in a resourceful frame of mind.

Yesterday I ended the day with a meditation. I lay down with headphones on in the spare bedroom and woke up 50 minutes later not having heard any of the last 1/2 of the 20 minute session. I didn’t even realize I was that tired, but the meditation was actually just a nap. Instead of accepting this, I was upset that I chose to lie down and allowed myself to fall asleep. I went to my bed but rather than falling directly back to sleep, I was up and disappointed about missing my meditation, and then was missing sleep as a result. That’s far from a meditative frame of mind, and certainly not why I meditate.

Each of these minor things could have felt different if I was in a different frame of mind. Each of these were unnecessary stresses that I allowed to build up in me. They really weren’t reasons to be upset. They weren’t moments that I needed to fret about. They were not things that needed to set a negative mood or to perseverate about.

Sometimes resourcefulness takes too much effort. It’s easy to beat yourself up rather than to frame things in a positive way. Sometimes the frames around your thoughts are rigid. Cold. Unkind. You would give anyone else a break, give them an opportunity to slip up, or not follow through… but yourself, no, you don’t give yourself the opportunity.

Get it right, or be disappointed.

Failure is not an option.

Mistakes are something other people can be forgiven for.

Results are required. Now.

This is not a healthy frame of mind. It does not provide any benefits, and it steals joy. It’s better to be gentle. All it takes is seeing outside the frame. I’ll push hard on my workout today. This morning I already redid the same meditation I slept through yesterday. And I see the futility of being upset at my wife’s computer. The poor framing is easy to see today, the trick is to see it in the moment, and to be kinder to myself when I don’t have the right frame of mind.

Trade your expectation with appreciation

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I was listening to The Tim Ferriss Show today and heard this great quote from Tony Robbins: “You want to change your life fast then trade your expectation for appreciation and you have a whole new life.”

(Listen to the full gratitude & appreciation quote by Tony Robbins here.)

It’s easy to forget sometimes how blessed we are. It can be all consuming as we seek and want more, while forgetting how much we have already.

Possible future you robs happiness from the present you.

Don’t let future you steal your happiness today.

Bask in appreciation of what you have: Family, friends, health, work, hobbies, food, health, wealth… you might not be exactly where you want future you to be, but if you take stock right now, you probably have a lot to appreciate and be happy about.