Tag Archives: Life Lessons

Going beyond ‘Reconnect, Reminisce, and Repeat’.

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I got away with a buddy to go fishing for a couple hours on Wednesday. It was part of a bigger day together, and we didn’t fish for long, or catch anything. But we connected and had an adventurous day. Good food, good company, and good scouting for a future fishing trip.

It’s one of the things he and I talk about, which is the idea of connecting for experiences. When you don’t see a good friend regularly, it might be easy to ‘pick back up where you left off’ and feel connected. But it can also feel like that’s all you do… Reconnect, reminisce, and repeat.

We didn’t plan a whole day of fishing, we took advantage of the resources and time available to us and made the most of it with a new experience. We didn’t just talk about the things we’ve done or hope to do, we had an excursion. Too often we think planing and organizing needs to be a drawn out part of connecting, with an event planned on some distant future date.

Last night another buddy texted to see what I was up to and just over an hour later I was sitting on his balcony. Then we walked to a delicious dinner. This was so refreshing compared to, “What are you doing next week Friday?”

Plans don’t need to be big, and novelty and newness make for great experiences. Also, last minute plans can be so much more fun than the bigger, much more planned events can be. Novelty keeps the experiences new enough that they become the things we talk about years from now.

Planning an adventure

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A friend was talking about an upcoming trip and the enthusiasm and excitement he shared was contagious. It got me thinking about how differently I think of trip planning. For him it is literally part of the adventure. For me, it often feels like work.

This was insightful. I’ve got it all backwards. For me the excitement comes when I arrive at the destination. For him the adventure begins long before that. I’m missing out, a simple shift in perspective would give me far more joy. The journey begins with planning.

Remembering the Push

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I’m 57. I’m never going to compete athletically at the level I did half a lifetime ago. I know this. I understand this. I’m good in terms of how I think about this.

And so what I look for now are moments where I connect with that former athlete, the drive, the push, that I once had in sports. The ability to have my body quit before my mind does. That’s the push.

We are capable of so much more than our minds usually allow. We exert ourselves with mental limits conservatively below what our bodies can achieve. So when we have those moments where we surrender those limits and work our bodies to limits that are our real limits… we remember the push of who we once were… and we become that again.

A little perspective

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Sometimes things don’t go as planned. You think everything is trucking along and life surprises you. Humbles you.

It’s a good reminder to appreciate what you have. We complain about the simplest of things. We don’t take the time to say, ‘thank you’. We focus on the negative instead of all the positives.

Meanwhile there is so much to appreciate and value. And this is what we should focus on.

Iterate, iterate, iterate

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We’ve all heard the phrase, “If at first you don’t succeed… try, try again.”

That’s the right idea but the wrong language. It should be, “If at first you don’t succeed… iterate, iterate again.”

Because we all know another saying too, “Do you know what the definition of insanity is? Doing the same thing again and again, and expecting a different result.”

We don’t need to try again, we need to iterate, again and again… Tweak, adapt, adjust, fine-tune, modify, tailor, refine, reshape, alter, and/or calibrate. And to do all this we need to embrace failure as learning.

Trying the same thing again just won’t do.

It’s your job

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I heard a great quote today, ‘Nobody will ever love you exactly the way you want… Because that’s your job.’

It reminds me of an insightful question, “Would you hang out with a person who speaks to you the way you speak to yourself?’

We can be our own worst critics, and yet it costs us nothing to appreciate ourselves rather than put ourselves down. That doesn’t mean that we don’t strive to be better. It’s not about accepting mediocrity. It is however an opportunity for us to find value and appreciation in who we are and what we accomplish.

It starts with acceptance, and ultimately self-love. There are enough critics in the world, it doesn’t make sense that the one you hear the most is yourself. It’s ultimately your job to love you first. And when you’ve humbly, yet sincerely achieved that, the love of others is sure to follow.

Guiding students forward

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Watch this leadership lesson I just found on Instagram:

I can’t help but think about how important this is not just in business/leadership roles, but also in teaching. The best teachers guide students. Teachers are the compass: “A compass doesn’t point the way, it points north and guides the student on their own journey.”

We lose sight of learning when we focus on teaching courses and not students. We lose our bearings when the curriculum is more important than the learner. We are completely lost when we teach to the test.

Watch the video again, and think of the times you led a challenging student rather than faced off with them. Like the time you put the ‘trouble-maker’ in charge because you had to leave the room for a couple minutes… knowing he would keep things in line for you but would cause problems if a peer was left in charge of him. Or the time you metaphorically threw a lesson out the window because students felt lost and you were not getting the learning across. Or when you sat with a kid to do 5 homework questions, letting them know that if they did that with you, they wouldn’t have to do any of the remaining homework.

Are you the guiding compass or the bossy captain? Are you facilitating learning or trying to push learning down their throats? Are you building resistance and conflict or resilience and trust?

The stretch

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A few days ago I did something I’ve never been able to do. I stood up, bent over at the waist, and was able to not just touch my toes, but touch the floor. I just stopped writing this to try again just now and I wasn’t even close. The difference is that I did a good 10 minute stretch before the time I actually achieved this.

I’ll try again today after I’m warmed up. I have been stretching my hamstrings more than usual for quite a few months to get to this point. But I am probably years away from being able to touch my toes ‘cold’, without any warm up. Yet I am still appreciative of the gains I have made.

In every aspect of life, it’s good to stretch yourself!

Time warp

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It’s hard to believe that we are at the end of the school year. As I reflect back the year seems to be a blur.

The older I get the greater time warps. Looking forward, future events can seem so far away, then looking back the same amount of time can seem like it was just yesterday. A week to wait for something can seem like forever, yet a month can fly by… even if that month included a week that felt like forever.

I often wonder if our brains get affected by our age, not just from a metabolic standpoint but from our perspective. To a 10 year old 5 years is half of a lifetime. To a 50 year old it’s just 10%. So now that I’m in my late 50’s, a year can fly by as a somewhat insignificant amount of time.

It just reminds me to appreciate each day. To find in each day a moment worth remembering, with reflecting on. Or at least a moment worth enjoying. Take away these moments and the days, weeks, and even years slip by… almost unnoticed.

We live in time warps, where the perception of time fluctuates. If we don’t want time to disappear on us, it’s up to us to spend time wisely, and meaningfully.

We need to create moments, not seize them, but rather savour them, find joy in them, and cherish them.

Will you remember this day?

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A day, a week, a month from now…

A year, a decade, a lifetime from now…

Will you remember this day?

When you call a sibling, text a friend, video chat with a kid or a parent…

When you go to a birthday, an anniversary, a reunion…

Will a memory from today come up in conversation?

What separates today from the many days before, now long forgotten?

Of course if every day were truly memorable, it would be unlikely that we could recall them all, and peak experiences do not feel like they are special if they occur every day… but the question still holds, “Will you remember this day?”

If not, what can you do to make it more than just another forgotten day?