Tag Archives: healthy living

Routine interrupted

Everything is out of whack for me. My whole routine is interrupted. I’ve got a bandaged knee with a lot of new skin that won’t allow me to comfortably go on the treadmill or stationary bike. I’ve got a pinched nerve that seizes up my neck and sends pain down my shoulder, and I’m concerned about doing exercises that tighten up these areas. And the nerve pain has affected the strength in my left arm and so even something like curls for biceps or any exercises for triceps are hindered even when I’m not doing shoulder exercises.

I can stretch, but I really can’t workout. I just weighed myself yesterday and I’ve lost 7 pounds in the last 7 weeks since hurting my shoulder. I have a track record of losing muscle pretty fast when I don’t work out consistently. I know that’s only a pound a week but it’s a 4% loss in weight and it’s the kind of weight I want to keep… not the little extra weight around my waist.

My Physio says I can exercise but my arm aches when I try. My knee is preventing any meaningful cardio, I can’t even walk down stairs other than doing one step at a time, bad foot first, then good foot onto the same step, while holding the rail. I know this is temporary but it’s very frustrating. It’s very painful too. I look forward to not depending on painkillers to get through the day. I look forward to getting my routine back!

Feeling sedentary

My thoughts aren’t so clear these days. Not only does my back and shoulder pain continue, but I had a fall and scraped up my knee pretty badly. I can barely bend my knee without stretching the wound and causing a fair bit of pain. On the bright side my knee pain can distract me from my shoulder pain… that may not sound like a bright side, but it really is.

My frustration now is that cardio has been my only exercise beyond stretching. I’ve enjoyed my stationary bicycle and walks on the treadmill, and my knee is way too sore for either of these right now. So for now I’m stuck being very sedentary. I’m stuck taking strong medication that makes me a bit dizzy at times. I’m stuck in a holding pattern of discomfort, pain, and inactivity. Sometimes the path to getting better is doing less… and that’s what my body is telling me to do right now.

Lucky break

I was recently scheduled for a CT scan to figure out my shoulder/neck pain I’ve been dealing with the last several weeks. I was told it would take a couple months to get it. This morning I got a call that there was a cancellation and could I come in at 10:30 this morning? Absolutely I could.

I hope to see the results soon, and maybe I can figure out a path forward without daily pain. It’s really the only thing on my mind for 40-60% of my day… and longer than that today. It’s frustrating. So, I’m really hoping the CT will at least show me where the problem stems from. I’m lucky to get the scan done so soon!

Pain & piece of mind

My back/shoulder pain is still continuing after almost 6 weeks, and I have just started new meds that make me feel loopy. Trying to describe the pain, I thought of a play on words for the phrase ‘peace of mind’ and switching it to ‘piece of mind’.

There is no peace of mind when pain has a piece of your mind. Pain sits with you like an unwanted, unliked friend who is constantly nagging you. Sometimes the pain is in the background and while it’s only vaguely present, you can’t find peace. When it’s worse than that it sits in competition with anything else that’s happening.

I have some clarity now, but writing yesterday’s post would normally take me 20-30 minutes and it took me over an hour to write. I wasn’t doing anything else, I wasn’t distracted with other tasks, but I was feeling a lot of shoulder pain. Constant unrelenting pain. And a 30 minute task took me more than double the expected time. There is no peace of mind when pain has a piece of your mind.

I know this will pass, but it truly gives me a new respect for anyone who deals with daily pain. It’s not fun, it’s not productive, and it’s not easy to act in any normal way when pain has a piece of your mind.

Health and history

I had a dental cleaning today. I get one every 6 months. As I was sitting in the chair I thought about how far we’ve come in dental hygiene over the last few hundred years. I thought about how debilitating it would have been to need a root canal before root canals were a thing. Tooth aches can be an all consuming pain, and life before dentists could have been an agonizing experience.

So many inventions have saved lives: from penicillin to pacemakers, vaccines to vitamins, antibiotics to aspirin… science and medicine have been invented, created, and discovered to make our lives less painful and a lot safer.

We still have a ways to go with the likes of cancer, multiple sclerosis, Alzheimer’s, and other diseases yet to be beaten, but we’ll get there in my children’s lifetime, if not mine. Technology is getting better and the science of longevity is very promising. Soon our visits to the washroom will be more like doctor visits, with our urine and faeces being sampled and tested by our toilets, and an app on our phones will notify us if there are any health concerns to worry about.

It’s a marvel to think about how much has been done in the world of science and medicine to make our lives healthier and longer. It took a dental assistant getting plaque off of my not-flossed-regularly-enough teeth to help me appreciate the value of modern science. And, I’m happy to report that I’m cavity free!

Not Firing All Cylinders

When your body isn’t working as smoothly as it should it’s hard to stay motivated. My back and neck issues continue to plague me, and I find it hard to give 100% to anything I do. My workouts have become mostly cardio and stretching, but at least I can do this maintenance. However it’s not just physical, mentally the injury is wearing me down.

It’s hard to keep my attention on something other than the discomfort and pain I feel. Moments like right now are rare, where I’m not actually aware of my shoulder or arm. I feel normal. But I’m going to get out of bed and slowly the pain will creep in. Still, I’m lucky because yesterday pain is what woke me up, and there was almost no break from it all day.

I have such sympathy and empathy for anyone and everyone that deals with pain regularly. I’m approaching 6 weeks of this and I’m finding it very hard to stay positive. Yet I know this will eventually pass. I know I’ll get all my cylinders up and running again. The trick is to care for myself now, and let my body heal. But until it does, it’s hard to think about other things clearly. When the pain is deep, the pain becomes topical… it sits on my mind and reminds me of its presence… it stays on my mind and doesn’t let me do anything without a reminder that my body is uncomfortable. When my body isn’t running well, neither is my mind, it’s not like they are separate operating systems, they both need to be working well. And that needs to be my main focus.

Maintenance mode

I’ve been struggling with an upper back injury that has involved shooting pains down my shoulder and neck pain and stiffness for over a month now. It’s frustrating. Regular massage and physiotherapy help but so has pain medication. I try to avoid taking painkillers (with chronic back issues there is almost always a reason to take something, so I only do so when the pain is restrictive and unrelenting), but I’ve had no choice the last few weeks.

This has made my fitness routine hard to follow. But I can still get on an exercise bicycle and not hurt my back. I can walk on a treadmill, and my hand movements help loosen my back. Running is out of the question. Still, I can also do leg workouts that don’t involve weights. And of course I can stretch… and need to be stretching.

Fitness isn’t just about constant improvement, it’s also about going into maintenance mode and doing *something* to take care of your body. Fifteen years ago my back would crash and it would takes months to recover. Now, this issue I’m dealing with is the worst I’ve dealt with in years. I know that a focus on fitness is what has reduced my down time, my days feeling hurt enough that pains and discomfort are constantly on my mind. However, the lack of these experiences over the last few years amplifies just how much this bothers me right now.

Yet while the pain is bothersome and pretty consuming, I am thankful that this is now an anomaly and no longer the norm. I’m thankful that I can still get some exercise in and maintain my fitness enough that I’m not having to start over when I recover. A commitment to exercise even when I’m struggling, and to be smart enough not to overdo it or exasperate the injury, helps me stay focused on my long term fitness goals.

It’s not about giving 100% a hundred percent of the time. It’s about showing up every day and doing something to care for myself. Some days that means pushing what I can do. Some days that means choosing one part of my routine to do at maximum effort. And some days that means doing the bare minimum. What’s not a viable option is opting out.

Flaked out

I spent almost the entire day on the couch. I watched the NCAA Women’s Championship basketball game, the first full sports event I’ve seen on television in years. I slept. I left my phone charging away from me a good part of the day. I slept some more.

I finally got off the couch and got on the treadmill at 5:30pm, and I’m back on it an hour and a half later writing this. Now the day wasn’t a total waste, I had a great Zoom conversation with my uncle early this morning. And I had a bit of work that needed to happen, but beyond that the day was spent on the couch doing nothing.

Normally I’d look at this day and think of the time on the couch as wasted. But not today. I’ve had very little sleep the last few weeks thanks to a back and shoulder issue. I’ve felt like I haven’t been running on all cylinders, and I needed some flake out time.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to get back to doing a whole lot of nothing for at least a couple more hours. Maybe I’ll end the evening with a hot tub. Guilt free pleasures on a Sunday night. And I have no regrets for taking the time to do not much of anything… completely guilt free.

Sleep and pain

I’m waking up between 3 and 4am with back and shoulder pain. It’s wearing me out. I had a great Physio session yesterday. I felt wonderful afterwards. I enjoyed a hot tub before bed, and I felt pretty good going to sleep. Then the ache creeps in.

I’ve suffered back pain for most of my life, but it’s usually muscular in nature and a good deep massage is all I need to make things better. This nerve/shooting pain is different. It sits in my brain as a constant distraction, with spikes of discomfort that consume my thoughts. Still, in the daytime I can handle it. I can stay distracted with work, I can pay attention to other things.

But at night anything I do to distract myself also keeps me up. I end up being too comfortable to sleep and so I get up. I try meditation, I try to focus on my breathing, and then I resort to looking at my phone or listening to music. What I don’t do is sleep enough.

Napping in the daytime just makes me less tired at night then I go to bed too late. I’ve got to break this cycle soon. It’s really getting to me. I think that’s obvious by how much I’ve written about it recently… I can’t help it when it’s the main thing on my mind.

Ready or not

It’s hard to believe I’m back to work tomorrow. I just wish I was running on all cylinders. My back and arm have been bugging me for weeks now and when the pain hits it’s all I can really think about. I have such incredible empathy for anyone who has to deal with pain every day. I know I’ll get through this and move back to normal, but for some people chronic pain is something they can expect every day.

The challenge for me is that unlike my usual back pain this is a pinched nerve and I’m getting referral pain causing my arm to ache. When it aches, that’s all I can really think about. It sits with me, both physically and mentally, taking up bandwidth in my brain.

My energy levels go way down and so does my ability to deal with things other than the discomfort I’m feeling. Today was a wasted day. I’d hoped to get a head start in things but I just didn’t have it in me. I have a Physio appointment set for after school tomorrow, I just hope the day goes better than today.

I’m reminded that I don’t look any different than I would if I wasn’t dealing with this pain and that’s something to remember when I’m at school… ready or not, students and staff will be showing up tomorrow, and some of them won’t be at their best, just like I might not be. We don’t always know the pain people are carrying, physically or emotionally. And that’s worth remembering even when I’m feeling great.