Tag Archives: habits

Long slow road

I know it’s going to take time. I know I have to go slow. My herniated disc no longer hurts and I’ve been completely off meds for a week and a half. But I can tell that the pinched nerve in my neck is still an issue. My left arm is still very weak, and I get an annoying tingling sensation in my forearm that feels like a bug landed on me. It happens in the same spot every time and I still slap it like it’s a bug every time I feel it.

I’m back to doing my cardio. I’m stretching every day. But I was on a great path physically that was completely disrupted. I regretfully redistributed some weight that took me 2.5 years to get in the right places, and with my careful path forward it will probably be a year to year and a half to put it back where it belongs.

That’s a bit of a hard realization, although I know it’s the smart thing to do. Younger me would have been determined to speed that up. Younger me would probably have re-injured my disc in the attempt to ‘recover’ faster. The challenge now is to stay the course, keep my positive habits, and stay motivated even when the improvements are too small to see.

I am the tortoise not the hare. The road ahead is long and slow. And there isn’t a finish line as much as there is a healthy and hopefully pain free lifestyle to enjoy along the way.

Un-breaking a break in routines

Yes, I went back home to my parents house after my father’s death, and spent no time alone except sleep and going to the bathroom.

Yes, I’m dealing with a herniated disc and choosing between feeling loopy on drugs or in pain.

Yes, I also fell and it took weeks for my knee to heal because the wound would re-open every time I bent my knee.

Yes, I’ve missed a few days posting here in the last few weeks. I’ve also had the least amount of exercise since I started tracking in January 2019. I’ve also missed more meditations than I have in that same time.

Yes, I’ve missed more work in the past month than I’ve missed in any 10 years of working combined.

Yes, I’m further behind in email than I ever have been… (I’m smart enough not to try to be on email when loopy or in pain).

Yes, I’m really hard on myself when I can’t do the things I think I should be doing.

But I also know how important these routines are for my mental health. It’s 10:45am and I’m finally out of bed and the loopy feeling of the drugs have worn off enough that while I’m not in pain, I feel that I can sit here and write this. I also feel like it’s not safe to walk on a treadmill, like I did for the first time in weeks last night before taking my meds for bed. Sitting in bed this morning I realized that I can lie on the floor and do some stretching. I can definitely meditate. I can listen to my body and go for walks outside, rather than navigating a treadmill.

I can’t rebuild the routines I had before all this just yet, but I can build new routines that keep me thinking positively rather than lying on my back with a pillow below my knees for most of the day. Well, actually that might still be a big part of my coming week, but at least I can (re)build i some routines that make me feel better both physically and mentally.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… I have tremendous sympathy for anyone who lives with chronic pain. It inspires me to see people who deal with daily or constant pain and still live out their daily lives. For now, I just need to build in some routines that make me feel more human.

I need to un-break my break in routines… not trying to do what I did before… not trying to do too much and setting myself back. Just trying to build a new routine that lets me feel good. On that note, my neck and shoulder have told me that this is enough sitting and typing for a few hours, if not the rest of the day. I’m going to go lay on the floor, listen to some music, stretch and meditate. The best time to start a new habit is right now!

Staying stuck

I’ve just finished listening to Jay Shetty’s audiobook, ‘Think Like a Monk‘, and I’m going through my bookmarks. One worth sharing is,

‘I wish’ is code for ‘I don’t want to do anything differently’.

The word wish is a verb, it’s an action, but a passive one. Wishing doesn’t involve planning, or taking action, or for that matter changing or moving in any way towards the thing you wish for.

Furthermore, the things we wish for often aren’t as desirable as we think. Like all the stories about genies that grant three wishes, the things we think we want might not end up giving us what we really desire. And again, wishing doesn’t make things happen.

Sure we can have positive affirmations, and wishing can help us envision a better future, but it’s our actions that define the kind of future you will have. This brings me to another bookmark,

Who you are is not what you say, but how you behave.

We don’t grow, we don’t ‘unstick’ ourselves from the patterns we are stuck in by wishing our way out. It’s our actions, our behaviours, that help us grow. Still, go ahead and wish upon a falling star or an eyelash, or blowing out birthday candles. By all means feel free to make a wish… but then make plans if you ever want to see that wish come through.

Missed a day

I think I missed my first day of blogging since I started writing daily in early 2019. I’m making up for it by posting twice today. It was a pretty good streak and I’m basically just going to continue on with no intention to let this minor slip change my commitment.

First thing yesterday morning I went to the hospital to visit my dad, came back to my parent’s house at about 5pm with my back/shoulder nerve pain at a high level. I self medicated and then my buddy picked me up to go out for dinner where I had a couple Guinnesses to add to my self-medicating. When I got home I fell asleep on the couch and slept through the night fully clothed from the day.

I’m not sure I could have written anything if I tried at the end of the day. Not blogging first thing in the morning for more than a weekend has made it a bit easier to forget, and I’ve written a few posts just before midnight this past week.

Still, to respect the commitment, I’ll blog again later today… my way of keeping the streak alive. But missing yesterday makes me ask myself, should I keep doing this? Do I need to blog every… single… day? The answer that comes to mind is ‘Yes’. I still find joy in being forced to to think and be creative daily. Like my blog byline says,

“Writing is my artistic expression. My keyboard is my brush. Words are my medium. My blog is my canvas. And committing to writing daily makes me feel like an artist.”

It’s not about the streak, it’s about daily practice, and committing to a task. And so… onwards with the blogging. Apologies to those that receive these via email for the double hit to your inbox in a single day.

Time well wasted

That’s the title of a comedy show and podcast: Time well wasted.

It makes me think, what do we waste our time on? Monday to Thursday I have a time limit set on TikTok because to me 30 minutes on TikTok is entertainment, but more than that is wasted time on a school/work night.

Is binge watching your favourite Netflix series time well spent or wasted? Is a 30 minute nap time well spent or wasted?

I can make a hundred suggestions of things we do, and then ask, “Is this time well spent or wasted?” And in almost every case the answer would or could be “It depends”.

For example: A 30 minute nap could be ‘needed’ to be more productive, or it could be a way to avoid work, or it could simply be a simple pleasure that is absolutely worth doing.

The question is, how good are our rationalizations? Because if you are anything like me, time well wasted isn’t often well wasted, it’s just wasted… and our time is valuable.

Realistic targets

Whenever I see people get on diets or start jumping into crazy workout schedules I think about how long they will last? Is this a lifestyle change or a temporary change? And often the ones that are temporary are focused on unrealistic targets that they are very unlikely to get to.

Have a listen to James Smith’s TikTok about ‘Optimal’ targets (oh, and be prepared for some f-bombs and colourful language):

I wrote a post recently about optimization rather than maximization, and it was somewhat similar, but this really hits the nail on the head.

Good habits, optimizing small patterns of behaviour, and living a good life without ridiculous sacrifices or hours upon hours of relentless dedication. Not 3 hour a day workouts, but at least 45 minutes five days a week. Not broccoli and chicken every day, but being thoughtful about junk food and making smart choices.

Not unachievable targets, but realistic goals over long periods of time where you’ve maintained good habits for eating, sleeping, and working out. Fit for life, not looking fit for my holiday bathing suit. Healthy living, not perfect diets and workouts. Because when the bar is set too high, when you believe the fitness magazines that tell you how to get a 6-pack in 6 weeks, you are not seeing thé tremendous sacrifices those abs require. We need to set a realistic destination, then enjoy the journey.

Sometimes a push is needed

I’m not a fan of the cold. I share this fact openly. I’ve also shared that I do a weekly walk with my buddy Dave called the Coquitlam Crunch. Well here is my text conversation with Dave last night:

I’m going to be totally honest, I was fishing for the opportunity to skip the Crunch. But here’s the thing… it was fine! I dressed warmly, we had ‘clamp-ons’ to put over our shoes to grip the snow, and I’m really glad that we did it. That was crunch number 92 since we started back in January 2021.

It’s good to have friends that don’t let us have the easy out. So often our anticipation and avoidance is actually worse than doing the thing we need to do. And when we don’t want to do it, friends can either help us step up, or they can keep us in the ‘easy zone’. Easy to do and good for us are seldom the same path.

The right friend knows when to push… and that friend is far better than the one letting you off the hook, or worse yet, talking you out of the better path.

Holding on unnecessarily

Sometimes it’s hard to let go.

Someone asks you about your day, and the first thing that goes through your mind is the thing that bothered you most.

“How was your meal?” It was really good, but…

An inconsiderate driver doesn’t let you merge and you are agitated for the next 20 minutes.

It takes practice letting go of negative thoughts. We hold on to unhelpful experiences unnecessarily. We almost cherish them. ‘Look at me. Look at how I’ve had to struggle. See what I have to put up with. Recognize my hardship.’

The real hardship is self-inflicted.

It’s not what happened to you, it’s what you hold onto. It’s also what you let go of.

What was the best part of your day? What was your favourite part of the meal? Boy, I’m glad I’m not that guy that didn’t let me merge, poor guy probably isn’t living his best life… I’m grateful that most people I deal with aren’t like him.

When you are used to holding on to the hard parts of life it takes a bit of mental gymnastics to transform your way of thinking to a more positive outlook. Accept a compliment, don’t downplay it. Find someone to thank. Choose to let go of the frustrating part of the day that you want to bring up and relive, and instead remember a shared laugh, a kindness, a success.

It’s not what happened to you, it’s what you hold onto. It’s also what you let go of.

Dreams and goals

A few years back I had hoped to learn how to do an unassisted handstand for at least 30 seconds. But after a while I stopped training for it. I know I have the strength for it now, but I simply haven’t put the time in practicing the necessary skills. I could tell you all kinds of reasons why I never followed through, but the reality is that anything I share would be an excuse I could have avoided or worked around. So what’s the real reason? It was a dream but not a goal.

I like the idea of it, I’m just not willing to do the work. In the time since then I’m fitter, stronger, healthier, and I’d even say more capable. But I didn’t give it the time it needed. I didn’t put in the required work. Maybe one day I will, but not right now.

Sometimes it’s hard to admit to yourself that a dream was just that, a lofty idea about something that might happen, and not an actual goal. But admitting this is quite comforting in a way. I have hit a lot of health-related targets in the past few years, I’m happy with my progress. Sure I could beat myself up about failing to achieve a dream… or I could realize that not every dream is something I have to strive for.

This isn’t trying to make the point to give up your dreams, or to strive. On the contrary, it’s to recognize that when you have too many things you are dreaming about and trying to bring into reality the less likely you are to achieve any of them. I think the questions to ask are:

Do I really want this?

How hard am I willing to work for it?

What’s the next step?

And,

What’s the plan?

Because a dream won’t become an achievable goal until you can answer these questions, implement a plan, and develop the habits that dedicate time to your dream. Some things are better left as dreams, while others should get the time they deserve. But that shouldn’t stop you from dreaming… just know the difference.

Back to archery

Yesterday I shot my compound bow for the first time in 10 months. I never intended to take such a long break. I write daily, I try to meditate daily, and I workout about 5 days a week on average. I also used to shoot arrows fairly regularly in 2021 and up to February of last year, then I let it drop off, and in April stopped altogether. The time commitment seemed too much with everything else I was doing plus work.

Going back and shooting again was fun. I had a blast and shot fairly well considering the gap. Here was my scorecard yesterday:

And here was my last score card back in April:

I also shot a 284 that morning as well. Looking at yesterday’s score, I would have been on par had I not shot my worst end to finish off the round.

Some of my shots were rushed. Most felt ‘punchy’ with my technique being more trigger pull than back tension, but I had a few good shots. Where I really struggled was keeping my focus, but that’s a lifelong challenge for me, as my continued struggles with meditation prove.

Overall it was enough fun that I now want to figure out how to add this back into my schedule? Habits are easier to break than to form and this habit involves a big time commitment. My short term goal is to not worry about scoring and putting in full rounds. I’ll try to refine set up and tear down time so that I can get 50-60 shots in and be in-and-out in an hour or so. First step is to get myself shooting a couple times a week and then I’ll worry about getting my arrow count up.

I remember why I took this sport up, and I want to find myself some time to enjoy it.