Tag Archives: action

Take action despite fear and doubt

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This weekend I had the opportunity to see Chris Williamson speak at the Vogue Theatre.

A few things he said seemed to circle around a theme of taking action despite fear and doubt. Here are some of the ideas he shared:
(I took notes not perfect quotes, but all the ideas below came from Chris.)

He quoted Christopher Hutchins, “In life we must choose our regrets.” This is a feature, not a bug. You can’t pick the right path and not still have regrets for not making another choice, choosing another path. Which regret do you want? Which regret can you not live with?

Contemplate the consequences of inaction. Don’t pretend that inaction does not have a price. (ie. The anxiety cost of ‘I still have X to do today.’)

Belief: Self-belief never waivers when the hero decides on his journey… But there is doubt ALL ALONG THE WAY! That’s why it’s so easy to fall back into old patterns.

We aren’t afraid of failure, we are afraid of what other will say when we fail… Don’t outsource your self image to the opinions of others.

Best question to ask: What is it that ‘you tomorrow‘ would want ‘you today‘ to do? Optimize for your future self.

Don’t follow what most people do… you don’t want the results they get.

You make the most progress when things are hard… and looking back, in retrospect, would you avoid them if you could, now that you’ve accomplished those hard things?

You don’t need to be certain, just confident that you are moving in the right direction. Have a bias for action.

He also quoted Jocko Willink regarding the fact that you can’t fake bravery. Pretending to be brave when you are scared IS bravery. Motivation is similar, just do the thing… Preparing isn’t the thing, neither is telling people, writing about the fact that you are going to do the thing, reading about it, or fantasizing about it. Again, just do the thing.

And finally, on this topic, an audience member quoted Chis during the Q&A, “The magic that you are looking for is in the thing that you are avoiding.

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How much of our lives are spent questioning ourselves, doubting ourselves, and avoiding action for fear of an outcome we don’t want?

I’ve shared this before, but when my wife and I were deciding if we were going to take our young family to China to take jobs as principal and teacher in a Foreign National school, we discussed it for over 2 hours late one night. We didn’t come to any conclusion, and the next night after work we put the kids down to sleep, and we sat down to continue the conversation. We made tea and popcorn and prepared for another marathon discussion, and then one of us (neither of us remember who) said, “If we don’t do this, will we regret it?” Absolutely. We had decided. The discussion moved to how to tell the kids. Any regrets for going would be overshadowed by the regret of not going.

As a photographer, I never regretted taking a photo, but I regretted the photographs that I never took.

We avoid time under tension, even though we know it strengthens us, “We cannot strengthen our resilience unless we face things that are challenging us for longer than we could previously tolerate.”

And as a final thought from me, Avoidance is easy, “How much time do we spend in a state of busyness rather than dealing with business? Avoiding the real task by doing other things, or worse yet doing something that’s merely a distraction. Some things get automated, habits get ritualized, and the work just gets done. But sometimes the struggle is real. The action avoidance becomes the easy task and the work doesn’t become the work, but actually just getting down to work. Because once you start the work gets done.”

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Also related: Be Fearless, James Clear on The pain of inaction, and many posts on failure.

Cross pollination

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Do you know what’s really hard to do? First, choose an area of your life where you really have your ‘stuff’ together. Then take those same skills, habits, and discipline and apply it to another part of your life. It should be easy, or at least easier than it is. We should be able to recognize what makes us extremely effective in one aspect of our lives and simply apply the same strategies elsewhere.

What prevents this? Is it motivation? Is it the fear of starting? Is it that we recognize the effort is more than we are willing to put out?

Whatever the reason, it’s sometimes important to remember that it is easier to act your way into a new way of thinking than it is to think your way into a new way of acting. Start with the action. Do the things you already do elsewhere in a new area of your life. Start with small actions, but the action itself is the start. Not the thinking, not the planning, not the talking about it… the doing.

Apply action, and the good work and skills you’ve developed will indeed cross over.

What are you showing up for?

I wrote this back in April 2022:

We live in a society now where there is so much pressure to do well; to be your best; to shine. It’s not easy. But sometimes the message doesn’t have to be ‘you are awesome’, ‘you have so much potential’, or ‘push yourself’. Sometimes the message of ‘just show up’ is all we need to hear.

  • Don’t plan an hour workout, just show up at the gym.
  • Don’t worry about how much you have to do, just start.
  • Don’t create a huge ‘to do’ list, pick 2-3 things you know you can get done and check those off… even if showing up is one of those things!

It’s easier to act your way into a new way of thinking, than thinking your way into a new way of acting. ~Richard Pascale

Just show up!

In a coffee shop with a friend today we were discussing the value of ‘Just showing up‘, and he asked the very rich question, “What are you showing up for?”

Two things come to mind and they are related:

  • For the habit; and
  • For the accomplishment.

When your attitude is ‘just show up’ you often end up doing more than you expect. A perfect example is exercise. “I don’t feel like working out today” is not showing up! But “I don’t feel like working out today so I’ll just walk on the treadmill for 10 minutes…” This is ‘just showing up’! And if you only do 10 minutes, that’s great! You weren’t feeling up to doing anything and you accomplished a short workout. Fantastic!

But what also might happen is you could finish that 10 minutes and add another 10 minutes because now you’re feeling pretty good about it. You could decide you’re just going to do a walk and then you end up doing a run. You could finish the 10 minutes and then do 15 or 20 minutes of stretching that you wouldn’t have done had you not got on the treadmill in the first place.

So instead of not showing up and skipping the workout you have both maintained the habit and you’ve also accomplished something to feel good about.

What are you showing up for? Consistency: Habit reinforced; Accomplishment achieved.

The impediment becomes the way

I’m re-listening to Gary John Bishop’s book, ‘Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life’, which has a very stoic approach. One quote that speaks to me from the book is from Marcus Aurelius:

“The impediment to action advances action.
What stands in the way becomes the way.”

On a positive note, the obstacles to learning can become the impetus to new learning, like this example from a student at Inquiry Hub… where a roadblock to continuing a project led to new, creative approaches and learning.

But often the impediment or obstacle becomes the block to new learning, or new approaches, or different, better ways of doing things. The impediment becomes the way, it becomes what you do, or rather what you do to avoid change, or worse yet what you use to define yourself. “I can’t” becomes the mantra, the limiting thought that makes not changing, not improving easier than doing what’s best. “I’m too tired, too lazy, too fat, too stubborn, too ‘insert-excuse-here’ to change. You continue to do what you did before, or you try something new, but decide that what you are already doing is either easier or more comfortable than the thing you had hoped to do. What stands in the way becomes the way. Inaction becomes the action.

This reminds me of one of my favourite quotes, attributed to Jerry Sternin, but I read it in ‘Surfing the Edge of Chaos‘.

“It’s easier to act your way into a new way of thinking,
than think your way into a new way of acting.”

We often convince ourselves of things we should not do, we talk ourselves out of trying new things, and we limit ourselves by thinking something is too hard… we think our way out of acting differently. The reality is that we are quite good at that. Our thoughts themselves become the impediment. The trick to overcoming this is to act… to actually start doing regardless of the thinking. Start small. Start really, really small but start to ‘do’ the thing we want to do. We are far more likely to achieve our goals if we act our way into doing them rather than trying to convince ourselves that we can do them.

Our thoughts can impede us, or our actions can push our thoughts forwards so that the thoughts (eventually) follow our actions.

“It’s easier to act your way into a new way of thinking,
than think your way into a new way of acting.”

Otherwise, the impediment to action advances (non) action.  Start small… but start now.

Do the thing

“Preparing to do the thing isn’t doing the thing.

Scheduling time to do the thing isn’t doing the thing.

Making a to-do list for the thing isn’t doing the thing.

Telling people you’re going to do the thing isn’t doing the thing.

Messaging friends who may or may not be doing the thing isn’t doing the thing.

Writing a banger tweet about how you’re going to do the thing isn’t doing the thing.

Hating on yourself for not doing the thing isn’t doing the thing. Hating on other people who have done the thing isn’t doing the thing. Hating on the obstacles in the way of doing the thing isn’t doing the thing.

Fantasizing about all of the adoration you’ll receive once you do the thing isn’t doing the thing.

Reading about how to do the thing isn’t doing the thing. Reading about how other people did the thing isn’t doing the thing. Reading this essay isn’t doing the thing.

The only thing that is doing the thing is doing the thing.” ~ Strangest Loop

It doesn’t matter if it’s a workout, a phone call, a challenging conversation, or even a blog post. The task won’t get done unless you actually do it. That said, if you want it done, it’s good to schedule it, it’s good to add it to your tasks, and it’s good to tell people and make the thing public. The quote above doesn’t dismiss doing these preparatory things, it just identifies that these aren’t enough.

The only thing that is enough is doing the thing.

Execution, not just ideas.

I came across this quote by Felix Dennis:

“If you never have a single great idea in your life, but become skilled in executing the great ideas of others you can succeed beyond your wildest dreams. Seek them out and make them work. They do not have to be your ideas. Execution is all, in this regard. If on the other hand, you spend your days thinking up and developing in your mind this great idea or that, you are unlikely to get rich. Although you are likely to make many others rich. That’s usually the way of it. Ideas don’t make you rich, the correct execution of ideas does.”

I think this message is equally true for achieving any goals, not just getting rich. Execution, execution, execution.

I’m reminded of a joke about an old man praying. He says, “God, I’ve been a good man, a loving husband, a devoted father, a loyal employee. I’ve lived a good life. I’ve never asked you for anything. Now I am old, and I am tired. Please, can you help me win the lottery?”

He doesn’t win. Each night he repeats this prayer. Again, and again, and again. After a full year of saying this prayer before bed, nothing. And on the 366th day of saying this prayer, he finishes with, “…Please, can you help me win the lottery?” Then in a thundering and frustrated voice God replies, “I want to help you, but can you at least buy a ticket?

Execution, execution, execution.

Actions, not words – Derek Sivers

I’m a fan of Derek Sivers. He’s someone who seems to have really figured out how to live life meaningfully and I think he lives a joyful life. Other people I follow live good lives, but I’m not sure they are truly happy. I think Derek is a rare kind of person that finds joy wherever he looks. He does what he wants to do, when he wants to do it, and is brutally honest with himself about what he really wants to do. I don’t think he spends a lot of time thinking, I really want to do ‘this’. He just decides to do it.

I’ve written specifically about him a couple times:

And I’ve mentioned him a few more times.

I listened to him on a podcast and this really hit a chord with me (related to his idea about goals, shared above):

“I have a concept that says that your actions reveal your values better than your words. So no matter what you say you want to do, your actions show what your values really are.”

How often do we have goals or plans that we never get to?

‘I’m going to start this project after…’

And no matter what we say next, something else comes up to delay us.

Or, ‘I really want to do this but…’

And after the ‘but’ comes an excuse about not having time, money, resources.

Do you really want to do it, or is it just wishful thinking?

I wanted to do a daily blog for years. I started this ‘Daily-Ink’ in 2010, but I didn’t really decide to do it until 2019. For 9 years it was wishful thinking. Then I decided: it’s not that I want to be a writer, I am a writer… and the way to be a writer is to write every day. So, it’s not even 6am yet, and I’m done my daily write.

Actions, not words… Or in my case the action of consistently writing words. 😃

Just show up

I shared this in an email home to parents recently:

While I know this has been a challenging year for many students and families, I think it’s important this time of year, as we head into a report card next week, to remind families of how important attendance is at our school. Students with significant absences tend to fall into a very unhealthy loop that includes:
Falling behind in work; Telling parents they work better at home, but missing key instructions to help them at home; Not getting the support they need; Not feeling good about being behind and finding reasons to avoid school.

Ultimately, we can’t help students that aren’t here at school, and the best ‘medicine’ for a student with too many absences is a dedication to getting to school as long as health conditions don’t prevent it. This isn’t a problem we can find a solution for without parent support. Please contact us if you’d like to discuss attendance further. I, or one of our team, will be contacting some of you after report cards go out.

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Report cards have now gone out and I will be calling a few parents to talk about concerns we have around poor attendance.

We live in a society now where there is so much pressure to do well; to be your best; to shine. It’s not easy. But sometimes the message doesn’t have to be ‘you are awesome’, ‘you have so much potential’, or ‘push yourself’. Sometimes the message of ‘just show up’ is all we need to hear.

  • Don’t plan an hour workout, just show up at the gym.
  • Don’t worry about how much you have to do, just start.
  • Don’t create a huge ‘to do’ list, pick 2-3 things you know you can get done and check those off… even if showing up is one of those things!

It’s easier to act your way into a new way of thinking, than thinking your way into a new way of acting. ~Richard Pascale

Just show up!

Choosing not to act

There are moments in your life when doing nothing is better than doing something. These are seldom moments when nothing feels like the right thing to do, but then time and reflection allow you to see that you made the right decision. Here are a few examples:

  • You are in an incident where someone is displaying road rage. They get out of the car and want to confront you. You keep your windows up and doors locked and drive away.
  • You own shares and the whole market does a dive (not just your stocks), and rather than selling low, you do nothing. A week and a half later your stock prices are where they were before the crash.
  • Your child tells you about a very bad choice they made, but they chose to tell you rather than to hide it from you. You want to punish him/her but know that this could cost you the relationship where they feel they can come to you.

Choosing not to act is different than passively doing nothing. That’s the fundamental difference: One is a choice, the other is a lack of choice. Knowing and understanding the difference, that comes with experience, and a good dose of reflection. Because choosing not to act doesn’t always feel right, and only after looking back at the experience later can you truly see if non-action was the best, or at least a good, choice.

7 Sins, Part 7 – Sloth

Sloth is procrastination without the pressure of a looming deadline. It is void of inspiration. It leaves us wanting less, doing less, accomplishing less.We all feel reluctance and laziness at points in our lives, resistance to things we know we must do.

Sloth is our enemy masked as a friend. It sits there exuding complacency, comfort in lethargy, inviting us to join it on the couch, in front of the television. Sloth tells us the 5th hour of a Netflix series binge is entertainment we deserve. It convinces us that the gym can wait until tomorrow. It comforts us as we scroll, aimlessly lurking on social media. It permits us to tidy up and clean up another day… soon, or maybe just later, yes, later sounds much better than soon.

Sloth is an ailment that convinces you there is no cure. It convinces you that there is no ailment. You are fine just the way you are. Sloth clears your agenda, and gives you less new information and less new experiences to stimulate your mind, making nothing something comfortable to do. In this way, sloth perpetuates itself. It is a sickness that blind you to itself, dulling your experiences and numbing your thoughts of new and different opportunities.

The remedy to sloth is action, no matter how small it may seem. It is turning off the TV, putting down your phone, getting off the couch and going for a walk. It is raising your head and looking around, calling a friend, or getting 15 min of exercise. The wonderful thing about the remedy to sloth is that action invites more action. Just as sloth perpetuates itself, so does the cure. Once we have momentum, it is easy to recognize that the best time to start something new is now!

7 Sins Series

  1. Gluttony
  2. Envy
  3. Pride
  4. Lust
  5. Wrath
  6. Greed
  7. Sloth