Author Archives: David Truss

Duck wings

There were only 3 items on the menu, Pulled Pork on a Bun, Confit Duck Wings, and Jerk Chicken Tacos. When I walked in the cashier said, “You look like a guy ready to try some Duck Wings.”

“Actually, I would like the Pulled Pork.”

“Really, you can have that anytime you want, try the Duck Wings.”

“You are right, absolutely.”

She kept convincing me, even though I made the switch, and I repeated that she convinced me.

“You won’t be disappointed,” she said confidently.

This reminded me of a friend, Geoff. He’s a colleague from a district up north, and I’ve had dinner a couple times with him when we connect for meetings. Both times he left the ordering of food completely in the hands of the waitresses. Completely. When one of them asked clarifying questions, the only thing he shared was, ‘I’m fairly hungry.’ No hints as to what he likes, or what part of the menu he would favour. He told me that he’s done this hundreds of times and only once was he ever disappointed.

I’m not as brave. I have often asked a waiter or waitress what their favourite is between 2 or 3 choices and if they reply with anything specific, (rather than, ‘they are all good’), then I’ll take their recommendation. The idea of a person picking anything off of a menu for me doesn’t seem appealing. But the idea of a recommendation between two hard to choose items appeals a fair bit.

Back to the Duck Wings. They were delicious! So much better than another pulled pork sandwich that I could have had in so many other places. Food is a great place to be brave and make choices you wouldn’t normally make. Don’t duck out. 😜

All of me

I’m having a bit of an existential moment. It occurred to me that I do not end where my body ends. I do not begin where my body begins.

This morning I went outside to do my morning stretches and a cool breeze gave me goosebumps. My body involuntarily responded to the environment. This made me think of how much our environment influences who we are. We shiver, we sweat, we find it easier or harder to breathe. Stairs affect us going both up and down them. Rain, snow, wind, temperature, all affect our comfort level. So does availability and kinds of food that sustain me. I am not me without considering my environmental surroundings.

This morning I went for a walk with my wife. At one point she picked up the pace to a jog, and I picked up my pace to join her. We are social beings and those around us affect us. We may have choice, but we are not without influence of others: A boss asking us to do something, a friend wanting company, an aggressive driver yelling obscenities, an upset person in need of compassion and support.

A question asked in a good or bad tone can affect our answer, and can affect our physiology. A disagreement can lead to conflict, anger, and even physical violence. Words can hurt, bring joy, frustrate, and enlighten. I am not me without considering my social surroundings.

The physical and social environment I surround myself with help define me, help me develop my personality, my disposition, my attitude, and my identity. All of me includes my environment, and includes my social connections. I do not end where my body ends. I do not begin where my body begins.

I am more than what you see, I have an extended identity.

Changing Perspectives

I’m lounging in a hammock under a couple trees:

When I look up, I see the tree that my feet point to:

Although the tree is vertical and I am horizontal, I am cocooned into the hammock and can’t see the ground, so my perspective is that I’m standing and I can just walk along the horizontal tree in front of me. This shifts the entire world 90 degrees. It looks like I can walk the tree plank over the sky. I simply raise my head to see the ground and this perspective just disappears.

In how many ways can we intentionally do this to gain new perspectives on our world?

That person at work or that student at school who you find annoying, what if you knew more about the struggles they face?

That traffic jam slowing you down, what if it was your car that was rear-ended unexpectedly and you were going to have to deal with months of physiotherapy?

That chore you hate doing, what if you found some pleasure in doing it? What if you could also use that time to listen to something interesting while you completed the task?

So many experiences can be more tolerable, interesting, engaging, or enjoyable, simply by changing perspective. The world doesn’t need to shift 90 degrees to achieve this. In fact, the change can be minor, but the experience can be significantly different… Changing our breathing, tilting our head, looking up, listening intently, smiling, seeking rather than settling, questioning rather than accepting. Everything is a matter of perspective, and perspectives are not hard to change, if change is what you seek.

Sneaking it in

It’s 11pm and I just realized that I haven’t written my Daily Ink yet. I blame the holidays. I sat to write this and my wife asked if we could go for a walk. So I gladly went for a walk with her and then I forgot! I don’t think that I’ve missed a day since I started writing daily in July 2019, but maybe there was a day like this that I just don’t remember? I’ll probably never know because I’m not going to count, and I have (occasional) posts on here dating back to 2009, so total posts won’t help me, I’d have to count one-by-one or month-by-month.

But my point here is that I can’t let a day slip by when I am aware and still have time to write. I don’t have to write every day, I want to write every day! I want to make the commitment and I want to follow through. How upset will I be if I do miss a day? Not terribly… I’ll just write the next day and keep going. On the other hand, thinking ‘it’s too late’, when there is still time in the day is a cop-out.

All that said, some days are really tough. I sit with a blank page and nothing comes to mind. I start a post, then something sounds/seems familiar, so I do a search and see that I’ve already written something similar. Or I start something and just don’t like it. Days like these, I remind myself that it’s hard to be truly original. I remind myself that not everything I write will be good, much less great. But I will write, and I will publish, and I’ll do it daily. My blog description says it all:

Writing is my artistic expression. My keyboard is my brush. Words are my medium. My blog is my canvas. And committing to writing daily makes me feel like an artist.

Sitting Under a Large Tree

Sitting under a large tree, staring up at the branches, I can see that wind is a fickle thing. Some leaves and branches lay motionless, while others sway back and forth, while still others dance. The tree doesn’t resist. A larger gust of wind picks up, more of the tree moves this time, it undulates, absorbing the larger force, then settles down again.

Sitting under a large tree, I can imagine my ancestors doing the same. The kind of tree might have varied, but the experience would have been almost the same for hundreds and even thousands of years.

Sitting under a large tree can provide shade, shelter, even food. But more than anything, sitting under a tree provides time for quiet contemplation.

The wind blows, and leaves and branches dance again.

Roughing it

Roughing it means something totally different as you get older. I used to camp on the ground, in a tent. Then we started bringing an inflatable bed. Now we are renting a trailer that will be dropped off at the campsite for us… this is the third time we are doing this, and it’s as rough as we might get for a while.

I’ve been camping, years ago, where we had to carry everything in and out, and pump water through a filter in streams and add a couple drops of iodine to purify it so we can drink it. Then with kids we used to bring a foldable kitchen sink with us to make meal prep easier in drive-in campsites. Now we don’t camp anywhere that doesn’t have taps nearby and washrooms with showers.

Maybe some day I’ll do a big trip where I really rough it again, but for now, roughing it includes a fair bit of luxury, and I’m happy to enjoy the comforts… I’m still going to a campground and not a hotel so in my books, I’m still roughing it.

Filling time

Ever find yourself filling time rather than spending it? You have a task to do and you have two hours to do it in, and you get it done in 2 hours. If you had 1.5 hours, that’s how long it would have taken… and if you had 2.5 hours you might get it done in just under 3. While that’s a bit of an exaggeration, I think it makes the point.

We recently hired a company to help us with tidying and organizing our garage and basement storage. We floundered over a couple weeks figuring out what to throw away and how to organize things. Then when we were getting help that was costing us more the longer it took, we transformed our garage. It went from a dumping ground that got out of hand when we had to throw everything in there for our main floor renovation, to a fully useable space with organized shelves and clear, labelled bins. We didn’t even need to add more shelving than what was already there.

If we had to keep going on our own without help, I think that we would still be rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic – moving things around in a disorganized garage that still looked like a disaster.

That’s an example where outside help got us through what needed to be done, but some of this filling time issue is more personal. For example, I haven’t been getting my morning routine done every morning. Sometimes I get to my workout later in the day. When I’m not on summer break, I wake up at 5:15, I write, meditate, and work out and I’m usually in the shower by 7am or shortly thereafter. But now my writing could take an hour and I could head to the basement for a workout that’s usually 20 minutes cardio and 20-25 minutes of weights and stretching, and turn it into well over an hour. However, I’m not doing more, I’m just procrastinating and stretching the time. I’m distracted by my phone. I’m taking very long breaks between sets. I’m doing a 10 min cooldown on a 20 min ride on my stationary bike.

Sometimes I just stretch the time I spend on things just because the time is available. I’m not spending time doing things, I’m filling the time available. While it’s nice to have the time to be able to do this, it does feel like I’m just wasting time… and time is a limited resource. The question is, if I didn’t just use my ’empty’ time up, what would I spend it on?

A Dawn Remembered

I wrote this in my late teens, some time before summer, 1986, when I was still in high school.

___

A Dawn Remembered

Early morning I did wake
To gaze across a chilly lake
I then looked to the sky
That dropped a little lonely flake

The cold glistened in my eye
Though the furnace was nearby
My body felt what it saw
It made me shiver where I lie

The morning air, so crisp and raw
In its virginity was not a flaw
So pure and simple the day did start
That for a moment I stood in awe

This admiration is an art
That must come from your heart
This early morning I did wake
To watch this beauty fall apart.

Reducing Complaints

I heard this on the Daily Jay, with Jay Shetty, on the Calm app this morning:

“Complaining is like chewing the same bite of food long after it has lost its taste. You’re just expending energy, for no positive purpose.”

Have you ever noticed that complaints live in your head far longer than you spend sharing them?

There is the initial thought that brews in your mind, percolating and flooding your mind with frustration. Then the complaint pours out of you, and you want to share every detail, fill other people’s cup with your bitter tasting brew. Then it chills down in your brain, but not immediately, it takes a while for the steam to be released, and your thoughts remain on your cup full of objection and protest.

“I can’t believe what she said.”

“The nerve of him thinking he could get away with doing that.”

“The worst service I’ve ever dealt with.”

The moment is gone, but the complaint lingers. With an opportunity to share it again later, the full emotional turmoil reruns.

“That was so upsetting!”

It was upsetting, or it is upsetting? Did it happen again? The verbal complaint makes it feels so.

What is it that the person who upset you the most deserves? Do they deserve your future attention, energy, and time complaining? Do you deserve to relive and retell, and expend time and energy on them?

If you’ve truly been wronged, do something about it and feel good about standing up for yourself. But if you’ve been annoyed and the moment is gone, let it be gone, because ‘I could have…’ or ‘I should have…’ didn’t happen, and complaints are nothing but wasted energy brewing in your mind, and also in the minds of those you complain to. And neither you nor they need to spend time sipping that bitter brew.

We the people

I took this photo in New York 5 years ago. I put it in a filter app I was playing with at the time to get this effect.

This came up as a Facebook memory yesterday and it got me thinking about how in 1787, when the “We the people” preamble to the constitution of the USA was written, there were people who were not considered people: Native Americans and black slaves. And only white men, not women, could vote.

That was 235 years ago.

“We the People
Means Everyone”

It’s a simple statement. It should go without saying, yet it needs to be said.

I wrote this in Faith in Humanity 5 years ago, “It is not our beliefs, but rather our actions upon those beliefs that define who we are. We can have faith in humanity… only by having the conviction to practice what it truly means to be human.”

Acceptance is such a low bar. It is one we should have leaped over years ago. I have faith in humanity, I believe that we can get there… but I also think it will be a bumpy ride.

Everyone deserves to feel safe, free, and seen. Everyone.