Author Archives: David Truss

The Eternal Pot

In Barbados there is a meal called Pepper Pot, also known as The Eternal Pot or The Poor Man’s Pot. It’s a dark broth with oxtail as the primary ingredient, and it is delicious! Many a day I would sit dipping soft bread into a bowl, soaking up every drop and finishing up with only the oxtail bones in the wiped-clean bowl.

Pepper Pot would be made in a massive pot that would sit for days on the the stove. It was known as the eternal pot because it stayed fresh as long as you brought it to a boil once a day. No need for refrigeration. For this reason it was also the poor man’s pot because it could sit in the stove continually being added to, as a poor family put what they had available in it. A lean broth for many days, and then meat added on payday.

For us, the first day it was cooked, pepper pot was for dinner. After that it would be an always available snack, a Saturday brunch, a late-night binge. It was a magical pot that seemed to last forever…

This reminds me of good friendships. Eternal in its ability to always be there. We gather with friends for a meal, connect for a while, things fade, but you know you can always spice things up when you have the energy to do so. Then you lose touch, but that’s ok, things will be back to full strength the next time you connect. It’s not a perfect metaphor, but it works on certain levels.

I’ve gathered with a few good friends this break, shorter and longer visits, a few meals, all rich experiences… I’ve added stock and meat to the eternal pot, helping the friendships grow. We just need to remember to heat things up once in a while… to keep things fresh.

Remember to stop and break bread with your eternal friends.

7 Sins, Part 7 – Sloth

Sloth is procrastination without the pressure of a looming deadline. It is void of inspiration. It leaves us wanting less, doing less, accomplishing less.We all feel reluctance and laziness at points in our lives, resistance to things we know we must do.

Sloth is our enemy masked as a friend. It sits there exuding complacency, comfort in lethargy, inviting us to join it on the couch, in front of the television. Sloth tells us the 5th hour of a Netflix series binge is entertainment we deserve. It convinces us that the gym can wait until tomorrow. It comforts us as we scroll, aimlessly lurking on social media. It permits us to tidy up and clean up another day… soon, or maybe just later, yes, later sounds much better than soon.

Sloth is an ailment that convinces you there is no cure. It convinces you that there is no ailment. You are fine just the way you are. Sloth clears your agenda, and gives you less new information and less new experiences to stimulate your mind, making nothing something comfortable to do. In this way, sloth perpetuates itself. It is a sickness that blind you to itself, dulling your experiences and numbing your thoughts of new and different opportunities.

The remedy to sloth is action, no matter how small it may seem. It is turning off the TV, putting down your phone, getting off the couch and going for a walk. It is raising your head and looking around, calling a friend, or getting 15 min of exercise. The wonderful thing about the remedy to sloth is that action invites more action. Just as sloth perpetuates itself, so does the cure. Once we have momentum, it is easy to recognize that the best time to start something new is now!

7 Sins Series

  1. Gluttony
  2. Envy
  3. Pride
  4. Lust
  5. Wrath
  6. Greed
  7. Sloth

7 Sins, Part 6 – Greed

Greed is the selfish desire for more. The desire for more can overwhelm and overpower the original desire. Greed can be blinding and all-consuming. Baboons can be captured by making a small hole in an ant hill and placing seeds within it. The baboon will grab the seeds making its first too big to pull out of the hole, but the baboon won’t let go of the food to allow escape. This is a good example of how greed can be blinding.

We live in a greedy society. ‘More’ is sold as better. ‘More’ is more satisfying. ‘More’ will make you happier. A bigger plate, a second item at half the price, a free gift with purchase, a second helping… more will satiate you with more power, more wealth, and more material things.

The band The Flying Lizards have a song titled Money, in which the main verse says, “The best things in life are free, but I want money.” This materialistic desire is easy to buy into, and ‘the best things’ can be seen as only those things money, power, and fame can provide. But at what cost?

Greed does not get satiated. It does not have a happy ending. Greed will always leave you wanting more. It is selfish and unfulfilling. It is empty of satisfaction and undermines happiness. Greed will always leave you wanting more…

7 Sins Series

  1. Gluttony
  2. Envy
  3. Pride
  4. Lust
  5. Wrath
  6. Greed
  7. Sloth

7 Sins, Part 5 – Wrath

There is a distinct line between justice and vengeance. You wouldn’t learn this from watching movies. Moviemakers love to romanticize the idea of vengeance and wrath. Anger permits an eye-for-an-eye retaliation and wrath is accepted as a just and fair response to an injustice. But in real life does wrath provide solace and resolution?

Doesn’t anger beget anger? Doesn’t wrath produce wrath? How do we respond to hurtful people? This is not easy to answer.

I see much anger and wrath these days being pointed towards ignorance and ignorant people.

“You should know better.”

“What’s the matter with you?”

“You are a condescending jackass.”

And I also see far worse behaviour and wrath from ignorant people. Racism and intolerance is worse when coupled with wrath.

“You people are so… ”

“Your culture is so rude.”

“Why don’t you just go back home.”

I understand the nuance of how these examples differ, how the first examples can seem justifiable while the latter example seem inexcusable. My examples do not seem to be comparable, not deserving of equal footing. They are indeed not equal but my point is simply that wrath, no matter where it comes from, does not move us forward in a positive way.

Wrath is ugly. Responses can bring rage and retaliation or they can foster resolution. Wrath and anger do not solve problems. Wrath and vengeance does not bring peace. Wrath and vindictive behaviour does not inspire civility and neighbourly love.

When we are seething and seeing red, we can lash out in ways that are unbecoming of us. Wrath does not elicit resourcefulness. It does not inspire qualities we want to share, or that we want shared with us. Wrath is not a response we want, even to wrath itself.

Wrath can be fed, or wrath can be diffused. The power we have lies in our ability to respond in civil ways, that invite conversation and understanding rather than anger. However angry responses to wrath are easy, and compassion and forgiveness take effort. The effort is worth it if you do not want the wrath outside you to become wrath within you.

7 Sins Series

  1. Gluttony
  2. Envy
  3. Pride
  4. Lust
  5. Wrath
  6. Greed
  7. Sloth
The best time is now quote

Just Do It!

It’s really easy to say the words, ‘just do it’. But I bet that sometimes you feel more like this…

…than you feel inspired to get things done. Meanwhile, getting things done can be a powerful motivator, a self-rewarding accomplishment, that helps you get more things done. On this first day of the new year resolutions are made as people aspire to make positive changes for the new year. Some will stick, others won’t. Here is a great video to help you think about making good resolutions:

It’s 3am as I write this on New Year’s Day, having done my parental duties driving kids home, and I’m still thinking about my sticker goals for this year. I’m cautious not to make my new goals overly ambitious, while also wanting to up the ante on my 2019 goals that are now routine. For example, I might still give myself a blue sticker on my calendar for every day that I do my 10 min. guided meditation, and maybe a second sticker if I do 10 more minutes unguided.

But that’s enough about me. What about you? What is a goal that you have related to your family, your fitness, your friendship, or your work, that you want to achieve?

The 5 Key Tips that I shared might help you… but ultimately it is up to you. ‘Just Do It’ is an awesome slogan, what can you do to make it work not just for Nike, but for you as well?

The best time to start something new is now!

Resilience #OneWord2020

If I were to pick 2 words for 2020, I might pick “Growth Mindset”, but if I’m only choosing a single word, it would be:

Resilience

The world needs this word right now. Here are some specific places I see a need to pay attention to this #OneWord in 2020.

In Schools:

Student anxiety seems to be on the rise, and anxiety lowers resilience and the willingness to try new things. Words seem to ‘injure’ students in ways that victimize them rather than make them stronger. This is not to say that students should tolerate bullying or inappropriate language or slander, rather they should speak up, defend themselves, and report poor behaviour. Instead it seems that they feel wounded and do not act. This is a sensitive topic, but one where I’ve seen a greater awareness of adults who want to support students and at the same time I see students allowing words to hurt them deeply, giving too much power to the transgressor.

In Politics:

I said this in Ideas on a Spectrum, “In a civil society, dialogue is the one problem-solving strategy that should be sacred. To do this, free speech is essential. But right now there is a culture of ‘attack the opposition’ that is very scary.“ – We need to be resilient when hearing opposing views, and understand that, “…we must be tolerant and accepting of opposing views, unaccepting of hateful and hurtful acts, and smart enough to understand the difference.” When we can’t have conversations with people that have different political views, we don’t grow as a culture or as a society.

In Online Spaces:

People will make mistakes online. They will say things that are unintentionally hurtful, or blindly offensive. This is different than someone being intentionally biased and rude. If the slander is intentional, it should be reported. If it is unintentional, even to the point of ignorance, we need to be more resilient about what our responses are. When every transgression is treated with an attack, the most severe/bigoted/rude/biased transgressions are not given the heightened alarm that they deserve. With lesser errors and mistakes, we need to let people have a venue to recognize their errors and invite conversation rather than damnation.

Growing up, I heard the playground retort to taunts, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never harm me.” We are past the era of letting nasty people say whatever nasty things they want, and just turning the other cheek to pretend we are not hurt. This is a good thing. We want to live in a world where that behaviour is not acceptable. But it does not serve us well to treat the attacker like they can not repent or be sorry. It does not serve us to let the words said hurt us too deeply. By being resilient we can speak up, clarify our perspective, and engage in conversations that help us feel empowered rather than victimized.

Resilience allows us to be strong, flexible, and engaged in a society that is the kind of society we want to live and thrive in.

7 Sins, Part 4 – Lust

“Sex sells.”- We have grown used to this phrase in words and in visual form through advertising. Sexual tension and the fantasy of unreachable desire are invitations to lust… to the craving for physical intimacy that is not rooted in love.

Love is exploited in movies and television by intertwining it with lust, and making the two seem interchangeable. Storylines are fraught with sexual tension and the importance of the first physically intimate moments being consumed with lust. Plots are fast-forwarded by showing lust-filled intimacy to establish the love two people have before a plot twist. Infidelity is ‘explained’ by lack of lust and intimacy.

Action films are no better. If the action star is put into dire straits, it is likely for the love of a child, or if it is for a love interest then that person is as likely to betray the star as to find happiness. Infidelity is a plot developer, love is fleeting and easily lost.

What are the stories of lust, of unrealistic desires, of sensual intimacy, and of sexual passion that we are exposed to in story plots, magazines, and social media? How does that contrast with stories of love? For even stories of love suggest loss (think Romeo & Juliet) or betrayal (think Indecent Proposal or Fatal Attraction).

Sex sells. Lust sells. Romantic love is reserved for comedies and for overcoming the pain caused by lust. Romance, heartfelt caring, and devotion to a loved one are things to be destroyed and devoured in modern day stories.

Our media outlets and movie plots may not share this, it does not sell in the same way, but in the end, lust leaves one feeling empty and alone, while love prevails.

7 Sins Series

  1. Gluttony
  2. Envy
  3. Pride
  4. Lust
  5. Wrath
  6. Greed
  7. Sloth
Healthy Living Goals with tips by David Truss

My healthy living goals year-end reflection

Today’s daily post was shared on my Pair-a-Dimes blog:

My healthy living goals year-end reflection, with 5 key tips.

Here is the quick version:

My video from January:

My video follow-up that I filmed yesterday morning:

The 5 tips I shared:

1. A year-long calendar poster. You get to see at-a-glance how you are doing and you can motivate yourself to meet your goals at the end of the week if you are not on target.

2. The best time to start a new streak is RIGHT NOW. I mentioned this in the video, don’t wallow in disappointment. There are only 3 weeks (starred) in the chart below that show weeks that I didn’t get at least 4 workouts in. I didn’t let those weeks define me.

3. Reduce friction. Here are 3 examples:

  • My stickers and sticker chart are right next to my treadmill. I make it easy to track and see this.
  • I have a pair of runners and a shoe horn in my exercise room. I never have to look for my shoes, and I don’t need to tie them, the shoehorn allows me to slide my feet in while still being tight enough to run in. Also, my headphones, and all equipment are where I need them… Always ready, and I never need to search for them.
  • Don’t exercise at your maximum every day. Some days I push really hard, and some days I go at 75%. A day when you are feeling low, give yourself an effort break, but don’t give yourself a break from actually doing exercise. If you end up doing 3 workouts at a lower effort, you’ll have the drive to push when you feel up to it. Make the friction about how hard you work out, rather than if you are going to work out or not.

4. Share your goals with others. You are more likely to hold yourself accountable if you have made your goals public. That’s partly why I did my original post in January, and promised in that post that I would do this update.

5. Be vigilant at your busiest times. It is really easy to say, “September is too crazy”, or “I’ll get started as soon as things calm down.” There will always be an upcoming busy time to deal with. Things won’t calm down (sorry, but you know this is true). If you want this to work, make it work when you are busiest and the rest of the year will be easy.

My year long calendar I used to track my goals:

Summary of the percentage of days that I achieved my goals:

Workouts: 63% (57% would have been an average of 4-days a week. I only did less than 4 days a week 3 times during the year.)

Time Restricted Eating: 48% (71% would have been the max, or 5/7 days a week).

Meditation: 100% (possible that I might have missed a maximum of 2 days).

Reading & Writing: 86%, 26 books (listened to), and 168 blog posts (mostly through a daily blog since mid-July).

My challenge to you:

Grab a 2020 calendar from Staples, Amazon, or where ever you shop for things like this, and get the new year off to a healthy start!

Again, here is the full post:

My healthy living goals year-end reflection, with 5 key tips.

7 Sins, Part 3 – Pride

Pride in small doses can give a sense of accomplishment, value, and even self-respect. ‘Wow, look what I am capable of.’ This is not yet the sin of pride. The sin of pride comes with arrogance, self-righteousness, bragging, superiority, and disdain.

The sin of pride is ugly. It struts in front of the accomplishment, and steps into the limelight in full display. It steals attention from others that supported the accomplishment, and undermines teamwork.

Arrogance and superiority are allies of pride. Together, they blind one to the possibility that humbleness is endearing, that compliments can complement success, and satisfaction is better felt when feeling appreciative rather than smug.

Who got you where you are today? Whose support would you struggle without? Who inspired you? Who paved the way for you? Who did the work you could not have done on your own? Who deserves to share in the accomplishment? At least one of these questions should give you an answer that helps you see the selfishness of being smug.

Enjoy your accomplishments, but let them fuel you and those around you, rather than letting them fuel your pride.

7 Sins Series

  1. Gluttony
  2. Envy
  3. Pride
  4. Lust
  5. Wrath
  6. Greed
  7. Sloth

7 Sins, Part 2 – Envy

We start envy at a young age, with envy of possessions. We see another kid with a toy we want and we aren’t happy until we can have it. I can remember fighting over who had more Play Doh with my sister, and it got so heated that my parents brought out a scale to weigh our pieces. After divvying it up, and seeing that it was equal, I no longer wanted to play with it. This bugged me enough that it is still one of my youngest memories. I wanted to just give it all to my sister, but I was too angry. Then afterwards, I felt guilt and shame. It was a valuable lesson, I realized that I cared more about my sister than a stupid piece of Play Doh.

Later, we feel envy about other’s qualities, their popularity, or their looks, or their athletic abilities. They might exude another sin, pride, but we feel envy, wishing we had what they seem to have without effort. If it makes you work harder or appreciate talent, then it is no longer envy, but inspiration. If it spurs jealousy, hate, or bitterness, then envy creates a toxic environment of gossip, slander, and unhealthy interactions with those you are envious of.

Then there is the irrational envy of luck. If you believe luck comes to those that are prepared, then your envy comes from your own sloth. If you believe that luck is dumb, then how dumb are you to envy pure chance?

Envy is ugly, it provides no gain, it ensures only sadness and disappointment. Letting go of envy, can instil generosity, inspiration, and even an openness to favourable opportunities… maybe even luck? When envy strikes you, what can you do to reshape the ugliness into a gift that inspires you to be better, or to wish the other person continued success?

7 Sins Series

  1. Gluttony
  2. Envy
  3. Pride
  4. Lust
  5. Wrath
  6. Greed
  7. Sloth