Tag Archives: work

Hard to not think about it

I visited my parents for almost 2 weeks and during that time I responded to a few emails. Most of these started with some sort of, “Sorry to bother you, but…”

I responded to those because they were timely things that needed a response to move forward. But there are 70+ emails that I looked at and needed more time for me to respond and/or didn’t require immediate response. I plan on getting through these later today or tomorrow (edited, I wrote this part before I started cleaning out my garage).

It’s hard to balance truly having a holiday that feels like a holiday and also doing the work that doesn’t stop because you are on holiday. Yes, I have my ‘I’m away from the office’ auto reply on. Yes, it gives a phone number to contact for assistance. Still, I feel obligated to catch up and clear out my inbox ever since I’ve kind of let it go a bit while visiting my parents.

What’s a little unusual is how long I’ve left this over the past couple weeks. Part of it is the need to have a real holiday after the year that was. But I juggle this with wanting to deal with it before it becomes a huge task. And I’m also wanting to enjoy the holiday time ahead. That said, despite letting my email correspondence slip while away, I know the email is there. I’ve read the subject headings, and I’ve felt the pressure to get to it. It’s hard not to think about it and so it’s better to just get it done rather than let it fester in my head as something needing my attention.

Times like this, while on holiday, I sometimes wish for a 9-5 job that doesn’t require any work coming home. I’d probably have less holiday time, but that holiday time would be completely work and work email free. Then I remember the satisfaction I get at work helping students and teachers, and I know that I’d probably hate leaving this job for a 9-5’er.

By tomorrow afternoon I’ll have my un-dealt-with email count down, and I will think less about it for a while. But I don’t know how to turn it completely off, and I don’t know how to see it there and not let it bug me in some small but significant way. I think that I need to take at least a week this summer where I don’t look at email at all… but somehow although I did a couple weeks with no social media that went well, I don’t think it will be as stress free to do with email.

Fast days

Yesterday went by ridiculously fast. I said to my secretaries at 10:20am, “I need a time machine to go back an hour and get all the things done that I thought I’d get done by now.” One of them said, “I think there’s a song about that, 🎵’If I could turn back time’🎶”.

Some days are like that, they zip by and even when you are working diligently, time escape you. After lunch was the same, except more interrupted. The interruptions and the follow up on them are expected in a job like mine. Other people’s priorities can become mine… I’m there to support my staff and students. But some days, like yesterday, happen so quickly that they seem to race by as if someone pressed and held the fast forward button.

I came home and after dinner I did a couple things I had planned to do in the morning. One job was about 5 minutes, the other about 30. Neither were very hard. Neither could get done during the day. The scary thing is that every June gets like this… but it’s not June yet and I’m already feeling the year-end crunch.

I might not be able to turn back time, but I wouldn’t mind if it slowing down just a bit!

The hill

I have my car in the shop so I rode my bike to work yesterday. It’s a really easy ride to work, with about 5% uphill, 15% flat, and 80% down hill. It takes about 10-12 minutes and I couldn’t break a sweat if I tried. Coming home is a different story.

When I leave work to go home, I cross the street corner the school is on and BOOM… there’s the nastiest of hills I have to ride on my whole trip. It starts easy, then turns and gets harder, then a steep bend that stays steep afterwards, then a slight bend and steeper yet. But then you can see a 4-way stop and what looks like the end of the hill, but no. On the other side of the intersection is still an uphill climb. It’s not as bad as before, but having just got on my bike and started to sweat within 3 minutes, it’s still feels tough.

From there, a turn onto a flat, main thoroughfare street for half a block, and a turn at the lights onto my street almost 2 km from home… and with the exception of one small dip and a flat last 100 meters, it’s all a gradual uphill ride.

I remember now why, despite living so close, I have chosen not to ride to work often. That said, none of this ride is that bad. It’s more mental than physical. It’s the issue of starting right on the toughest hill, and that hill progressively getting tougher. And since I’m a lot fitter now than in past years, it didn’t wipe me out. So maybe I’ll ride more often now.

One nice thing that is no longer an issue that used to deter me was having to lug my laptop back and forth, but now with everything I need stored in OneDrive and OneNote, I really don’t need to carry anything home. I have to ride this morning, car is still in the shop. Maybe tomorrow too. After 3 days, I’m pretty sure I’ll decide if this hill keeps me from riding regularly, or if it gets smaller in my mind and riding to/from work becomes a regular thing.

Not on all cylinders

Woke up with a pounding headache this morning and not feeling 100%. Isn’t it odd that any other time but covid, I’d take a couple pain relievers (which I just did), then head off to work. I’d muscle through the day and even stay late to get things done. Pre-covid I’d also go to school with a cold and runny nose, or other flu symptoms. I wonder how any times in the past I spread my sickness, somehow thinking I was doing something good by avoiding a sick day.

No flu symptoms today, but definitely best if I stay home today… and also best if I stop looking at this screen right now. Back to sleep if my thumping brain will let me.

In a rut

My mind is a flutter. I seem to be hopping from idea to idea. At work my secretaries and I joke about me having a squirrel brain when I get like this. I start a task, get interrupted, and then don’t remember the task until much later. A student comes to ask me a question, and I can’t remember what I was doing after they leave.

Today I had to redo my meditation because I fell asleep. Then the second time the 10 minute session ended I realized I completely failed to listen to the last few minutes or focus on my breathing, and had to go back to it again.

I don’t like when I get like this, because it’s like I’ve had too much coffee, and am overstimulated. But rather than fight it, for today’s post I’ll try to embrace it and I’ll throw ‘this and that’ out in a stream of verbal diarrhea, here goes:

I got my personal best score in archery, beating my old record by one… then repeated that score. I should be thrilled. My accuracy is way up. Yet I’m mad at myself because I started both record-breaking scores with two of three shots being 8’s. And in my second round, I ended with an 8, or I would have beaten my new record rather than tied it. Oh, and I’m also mad at myself because rather than celebrating my personal best, I’m upset about these things and can’t seem to let myself celebrate the success.

Workouts are still floundering, even now I’m writing this later than usual and will have to rush my morning routine. So much for getting back into it like I’ve shared here recently. I tell myself I’ll push harder, but I really don’t. I think I need to try something really different to break this cycle. I’m usually someone that can self-motivate, but right now I feel like I need someone else to light a fire under my ass.

I finally finished a 28.5 hour audio book. It was a wonderful story but it still took me almost three months to listen to, despite enjoying it. I listened to so many books the last couple years, and this year I’m listening at a snail’s pace. I’m also behind on podcasts. I just don’t squeeze the time out of the day like I used to.

I’ve been ‘working on’ a visual that puts together some of the things we do in order to share the Heroes Journey of a student at Inquiry Hub… except I’ve been too busy at work and am actually not working on it. It’s more of a decoration on the whiteboard behind me in my office than it is a work in progress. I look at it, I haven’t really added much to it recently.

My eating habits haven’t been great. My sleeping habits haven’t been great. I’m clueless as to what’s going on in the world because not only do I not watch TV, but I’ve tuned out of social media too.

I sound like a basket case reading this over, but I’ve caught up on my email backlog, and have been tackling my ‘to do’ list at work diligently, even if sometimes lacking focus. I’m functioning pretty well, yet focused on the things I’m not doing rather than the things I’m doing well. I haven’t laughed enough recently. I haven’t felt a sense of real accomplishment. I haven’t even enjoyed my distractions.

Yet, in the grand scheme of things I’m being productive, I’m staying healthy, my family is healthy, I’m listening to good books, I’m meditating, I’m improving my archery skills. There should be a lot to celebrate, or at least appreciate. Cognitively I understand this. But I don’t know how to give myself a break and appreciate all these things?

Well, I better get my butt to my home gym and go through the motions of working out. I’ll listen to a podcast while I do, and maybe some motivational music. I’ll get out of this rut soon, but for now I’ll just go through the motions, which is better than letting myself slip.

Work on the brain

Got an email from the district to send to parents about the new Covid-19 rules in effect when we return to school on Tuesday.

The big changes for our school bolded:

o All students Grades 4-12 are required to wear a mask inside schools both within and outside their learning group.

o All staff K-12 are required to wear a mask inside schools both within and outside their learning group.

Essentially, students and staff will be wearing masks all day, as opposed to having the option of removing them when at their own desks. This is important information, and as instructed, I’ll send it off to parents (and students and staff) tomorrow.

Since reading that email, my brain has been on work, and on the pandemic. Things to do, and things to be concerned about. Sometimes I can’t let things go. I can’t relax. Today feels like it was a work day, even though I didn’t go to work. It’s going to take a bit to get back into holiday mode. I want a few more days of holiday brain before work brain fully takes over.

TGIF

In BC, Canada we have a Family Day holiday on Monday. It’s a long weekend. I am not someone who counts down to the weekend or to the next long holiday. I don’t begrudge workday Monday mornings. But right now I’m looking forward to having the extra day off next week.

No, I don’t have any plans. Pretty sure it’s going to be a catch-up-on-the-cleaning weekend at home. But it’s going to be nice and relaxing too. It’s going to be at least 2 days not thinking about work. It’s going to include walks, and maybe some fun shooting arrows.

Sometimes, it just feels wonderful knowing that it’s the Friday before a long weekend. I’m going to take that feeling with me to work today, and as busy at it might get… it’s going to be a great day.

TGIF!

Work-Life Balance

I chatted with a friend recently and he said, “Imagine having a job that you just arrived at on time, left on time at the end of the day, and you didn’t have to think about work while you weren’t at work.”

I have to say that while I might romanticize that work/life balance, I also don’t know too many of those jobs that would appeal to me. Even if I had some kind of existential crisis and quit my job, I don’t think I’d find a new job like that anyway. So my focus for work/life balance is about finding the time to do things that fill my bucket… things that make me appreciate my home and work life; My family and friends; My health and mental well-being.

This isn’t an easy journey to do well. Living through a pandemic doesn’t make it any easier. So, find reasons to be joyful, do activities that are enjoyable, spend time (physically and digitally) with those you love.

I don’t think solitude helps, unless you are somehow enlightened. I don’t think sloth, laziness, or a bag of potato chips helps. Connections do help. Making time for others you care about is something that helps to balance you. Who can you connect with right now?

What are you waiting for?

Commuting time

My wife and I live in the same school district we work for. That wasn’t the case when we first got married. We commuted for 45 minutes each way, and sometimes it took longer going home. Traffic was a factor that we had no control over. Now, my wife’s commute is 20 minutes and mine is 7 minutes.

Our biggest unknown is the light at the end of our street that can take over two minutes to change early in the morning. For me, that’s one of just three street lights I need to go through. While the pandemic has changed the need to commute for many, I’ve been required to go to work every work day in 2020 and to start this year. So for me the short commute remains a significant bonus. And with the lack of driving anywhere else beyond the grocery store, I’ve been filling up my family van about once every three to four weeks.

While my commute is short, there are people now working from home that used to have very long commutes. I wonder how they have used this extra time given to them? Is there something people have intentionally done with that time?

If you have been ‘given back’ the time you used to spend commuting, what are you doing with it? I’m not judging. The reality is that my short commute can be a curse sometimes. I can get lost in my work after school and stay later, because it’s only 7 minutes to get home. I’m not always taking advantage of the short commute in a positive way. But I want to hear about how some people have added value to their lives thanks to a shorter commute.

For me, since moving to my current home in 1999, (minus the the 2 years I lived in China), I’ve spent 19 years with a short commute. My furthest job out of 5 school locations was a 15 minute drive away, and that was only for a year and a half. One of my jobs was 5 minutes away, with a single street light to cross, another was 6 minutes away and involved no crossing of streetlights unless I dropped my kids to daycare. So, I’ve been blessed with an insignificant commute for a long time. And so I’m genuinely interested, if you had a long commute, and the pandemic has eliminated it, what are you doing with your extra time?

It’s just this

I was speaking to a colleague at work about sleep. She said that she was getting to bed really early and passing out exhausted, and I was saying how I was staying up late not able to fall asleep, even though I feel tired. She pointed both hands up, palms open, and made small circles, “It’s just this“.

I totally understood.

‘This’ is wearing a mask most of the day, and not seeing full expressions on the faces of students and colleagues.’This’ is pausing outside doorways to give people a wide birth to pass.’This’ is being busy, but that busyness not feeling as rewarding.’This’ is not all sitting around the same tables at lunch.’This’ is sanitizing your hands because you touched a door knob.’This’ is limiting students’ plans when we are used to always getting to yes. ‘This’ is knowing that we will likely start next September much the same as we started this school year, and knowing there are still 8 months of ‘this’ to go this school year. ‘This’ is living through a pandemic.

We might have made these adjustments fairly quickly on the outside, but ‘this’ is still not normal, and so it’s draining, and requires more effort than usual. ‘This’ will take a bit more time to fully adjust to. More time, and more sleep… Sweet dreams. We will get used to ‘this’ eventually, and when we do, we will find ways to thrive.