Tag Archives: sleep

Consistency is built on the hard days

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I barely slept last night. This doesn’t happen often, but if you search my blog for the word insomnia, you’ll see that periodically I struggle with sleep. This time I question if it wasn’t at least partially initiated by my own perseverating thoughts after I had a rougher than usual nights sleep two nights ago. I felt like this was coming on, and couldn’t shake the thought. Did I unintentionally will a night of almost no sleep into existence or was I just feeling it build in my body? I don’t know.

In my years as an educator, most of my absences have been related to back pain, but this morning after staring at the ceiling as the room brightened, I decided that with the lack of sleep the night before compounding a sleepless night, I would would take the day off. Today I had two long naps. The first one was broken, fighting my monkey-mind and restless body, and the second one longer and much more like real sleep. Tonight I’ll catch up on work, and then intentionally go to sleep a little later than usual… hopefully feeling tired and sleeping through the night.

That’s a long introduction to make a simple point. It would have been easy to skip my workout today. But I didn’t. In fact, I think I would attribute my longer, better nap to getting the feelings of restlessness out of my body. I spent 30 minutes with a weighted vest, on an incline, on my treadmill. It was hard enough that I went slower than I normally do and on less of an incline. I didn’t enjoy it, but I did it. I also did a humorous attempt at a meditation where my internal dialogue was so loud, and so lacking in concentration that squirrel brain would be a complimentary description. But I did it. Now I’m spending too much time rewriting my words here, making me realize I should make dinner before attempting to tackle anything related to work… but I’m writing, and I will do some work catch-up before tomorrow.

All this to say that doing my usual routines today has been challenging. And not very rewarding. But there is one key reward that I’m getting out of this and that’s consistency. I’m continuing my habits despite it not being easy to do today. My body and my brain are not allowing me to be at my best, but I’m not allowing me to use that as an excuse. Actually, two good things happened today. First of all, I did get a few hours of solid sleep that have me on a recovery path after a sleepless night last night. Secondly, I maintained my habits. Because the hardest days are the days that really matter. I didn’t need a break from my habits today, I needed to do them despite how hard they were to do. That’s what make them habits and not just things I like to do.

Snoring issue

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Tonight I’m trying a mouth guard to help prevent me from snoring. I used to only snore on my back, and so to stop snoring I simply rolled onto my side. This was not a big issue since I normally sleep on my side. But that all changed in this last year. Now even on my side I snore.

I’ve gone to the doctor to look at my deviated septum, caused from breaking my nose more than once. However two different specialists told me that while cosmetically I would see an improvement from surgery, surgery would not fix my snoring problem. Snoring is often related to weight, but that’s not my issue either. And moderate sleep apnoea has suggested that a CPAP therapy might work, but I want to try a mouth guard before having to hook myself up to a machine every night for the rest of my life.

But if this doesn’t work a CPAP machine is next on my list. It’s either that or separate bedrooms from my poor wife who is a light sleeper and is constantly being woken by my annoying snoring… and I don’t like this as an option. So wish me luck with the mouth guard. I hope it adjusts the structure of my mouth during sleep enough that snoring is no longer a constant concern for me or my wife.

Rethinking sleep

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I probably shared this before, but as a 30 year old, new to teaching, I got used to very little sleep. I’d routinely get 5 or less hours sleep for several nights in a row. A friend and colleague who struggled when he had less than 8 hours sleep told me that I was burning my candle at both ends and that I was going to die 10 years younger because of my lack of sleep.

That night, some time after 1am, I sent him an email basically explaining that I’d done the math and if I lived to 70 and he lived to 80, then I would have been awake longer than him.

Now in my mid 50’s I definitely need more sleep. I also notice that I really don’t function as well when I’m tired. However I still struggle to get 6.5-7hrs sleep most nights in a week. My weekly average is probably closer to 6 than 7 hours nightly. And my sleep is a little more interrupted too.

And this is despite the fact that every medical professional I follow and learn from speaks about the value of sleep. I know I don’t get enough of it. I know this isn’t a healthy choice. Yet I’m still up late writing this and I’m going to be up before everyone else in my family tomorrow morning.

I need to rethink this. I need to schedule longer sleep times… and I need to go to sleep now.

Sweet dreams.

Power up

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In video games there are opportunities to power up and replenish your resources. Health and strength are increased and the character is ready for more/new adventures.

After an exhausting week I needed a power up and I got it through sleep. I was passed out on the couch at 7:30pm last night, and I don’t remember anything until I got up just after 2am to brush my teeth. Then I was out again until about 5am. Now I’m up, feel wide awake, and ready to start my winter break.

It feels good to reach this point and only need an early bed time to replenish. There are times when I, and many educators, get to this point and crash and burn. So many times we reach a holiday break and then wake up the next day sick. Our bodies are too drained and we hold on just long enough to get to the break and then our system crashes.

That’s a hard way to start a break. Your body powers down and says, “I’m out… give me a few days to refuel and recharge.” Luckily that’s not the case for me this time. I had a nice extended sleep and I’m ready to go!

I think my commitment to starting my day writing and exercising are a big part of me getting into power up rather than power down mode. I start each day with a couple personal accomplishments and that sets my day up. No matter how tired I am, or how long the week feels, I give myself a daily power up so I don’t drain my batteries so much that I need to power down to replenish.

Going back to the video game analogy, I keep my health line out of the red and so when I power up I’m in the green zone. I’m not letting myself get too drained and staying in the red even after a power up.

Let the holiday break begin… I’m ready!

The power of music

Almost everyone can quote the first line of this poetic verse from William Shakespeare’s opening of Twelfth Night:

“If music be the food of love, play on;

Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting,

The appetite may sicken, and so die.

That strain again! it had a dying fall:

O, it came o’er my ear like the sweet sound,

That breathes upon a bank of violets,

Stealing and giving odour! Enough; no more:

‘Tis not so sweet now as it was before.

O spirit of love! how quick and fresh art thou,

That, notwithstanding thy capacity

Receiveth as the sea, nought enters there,

Of what validity and pitch soe’er,

But falls into abatement and low price,

Even in a minute: so full of shapes is fancy

That it alone is high fantastical.”

—

A young boy is so in love that he hopes if he has too much of it, like food he would get sick of it… lose his appetite for it. But despite this hope the love continues, as he actually desires.

—

Next week I’m going to a Tangerine Dream concert with a high school friend who introduced me to this band and others like Jean-Michel Jarre, and Kitaro. At the time the depth of my musical appreciation was Led Zeppelin, AC⚡️DC, and The Who. I was taken into an alternate dimension of musical breadth by my buddy. He made me experience music in a way that was a full body feeling rather than an experience for my ears. I didn’t truly feel music yet, that came a few years later in an NLP communication class, but for my teenage years, this musical experience was transformative.

I used to listen these more alternative bands/musicians before bed. I’d fall asleep to instrumentals that altered my mood and calmed me. No mind altering drugs required, just a tape cassette player, and my bed.

I still use music to alter my state. I have a play list for working out, for writing, and for sleep. Each one different, each one designed around my desired state. I’m not musical, I don’t play an instrument, I don’t want to take the time to learn… but I do enjoy using great music to set the mood for me. I will always let music feed me.

“If music be the food of love, play on.”

Sleep cycles and time zones

I used to bounce from time zone to time zone without an issue. Now I’ve now been in Toronto for 4 nights and I’m still wanting to go to sleep between 2 and 3am, (which if still in Vancouver would be 11pm-12am). But I’m waking up around 8 am Toronto time, which has worn on me now.

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I started writing this much earlier in the day, and now it’s just after midnight Toronto time ~ I’m going to take advantage of being sleepy and ending my daily-ink… right… here.

Afternoon nap

I just woke up from a 2+ hour nap. I didn’t sleep well last night, but now I’m in jeopardy of a repeat, because I won’t be able to fall asleep until after midnight. I remember reading that an ideal nap time is about 20 minutes. This gives you the rest you need, without over-doing it. I really over-did it!

I wish they I lived in a country that had siesta times. I love late nights, I love early mornings. If I were to design my own schedule, I’d go to bed after midnight, sleep until 5:30, and have a 1-2 hour nap starting at 2pm. Unfortunately, that schedule would be awful for my wife, so I don’t think I’ll adopt it even after retiring.

Maybe with this lengthy nap, I’ll give that schedule a test run for tonight, and be back on a ‘normal’ schedule tomorrow. 7 hours is about my ideal length of sleep each night, 9 hours leads to a headache. I wonder if my idea of an ideal schedule is only that… an idea, and really I should just stick to 7 hours a night and maybe 20 minute naps on weekends.

2 hours is just a bit unrealistic, and probably going to mess me up. What’s your ideal nap time?

Sleep and pain

I’m waking up between 3 and 4am with back and shoulder pain. It’s wearing me out. I had a great Physio session yesterday. I felt wonderful afterwards. I enjoyed a hot tub before bed, and I felt pretty good going to sleep. Then the ache creeps in.

I’ve suffered back pain for most of my life, but it’s usually muscular in nature and a good deep massage is all I need to make things better. This nerve/shooting pain is different. It sits in my brain as a constant distraction, with spikes of discomfort that consume my thoughts. Still, in the daytime I can handle it. I can stay distracted with work, I can pay attention to other things.

But at night anything I do to distract myself also keeps me up. I end up being too comfortable to sleep and so I get up. I try meditation, I try to focus on my breathing, and then I resort to looking at my phone or listening to music. What I don’t do is sleep enough.

Napping in the daytime just makes me less tired at night then I go to bed too late. I’ve got to break this cycle soon. It’s really getting to me. I think that’s obvious by how much I’ve written about it recently… I can’t help it when it’s the main thing on my mind.

Pain again

It’s close to 2:00am and I’m up with pain in my back and shoulder. My alarm is set for 4:15am for my flight, and the last thing I want to be right now is awake. For the past week I’ve been struggling with a pain in my back, the last 3 days the pain moved more into my shoulder. I’ve been taking it really easy and thought it would slowly disappear.

Instead, my shoulder aches so much that I can’t sleep. I’ve had a painkiller and a muscle relaxant, and still the ache persists. I’m now on the couch sipping some scotch and trying to find a position where the ache subsides a bit. As someone who struggles with back pain, I normally avoid self-medicating, for fear of getting accustomed to the pain relief… but this powerful and constant ache has me willing to try anything so that I can sleep.

I’m still not able of sleep, but I know that looking at this screen won’t help. So it’s time for a meditation, and hopefully a little nap before my alarm goes off. If not, I hope that I can pass out on the plane.

May you always find relief from your aches and pains… cheers!

The need for sleep

The last few months I’ve needed more sleep than usual. It’s not a surprise, between covid in November and an awful cough to start the year, I have mostly been in recovery mode for a few months now. I can usually get between 6 and 7 hours of sleep a night and consistently feel refreshed. That’s not enough right now and I’m letting myself sleep longer. This is a good thing… I know how important sleep is and I don’t think I get enough of it.

Back when I started my career I used to live on even less sleep. I’d go 3-4 days with 5 hours or less sleep, then catch up with 6-7 hours, and do it all over again. One very tired day when I was running on too little sleep my buddy Mark said to me, “Dave, you’re burning your candle on both ends, you are killing yourself… you’re going to die 10 years younger if you keep doing this to yourself.” The following night I sent him an email at about 1:30 in the morning, it read, “Yeah, I might die 10 years younger but I did the math and if you live to 80 and I only live to 70, I’ll have been awake longer than you.”

While the math was correct, and it’s kind of funny, there is a lot of research around the importance of sleep and I don’t tend to get as much as I should even now. I used to wear ‘I don’t need a lot of sleep’ like some sort of badge of honour. But sleep is essential, and I’m hoping that I can figure out a way to get more without feeling like I’m taking away from my day.

I don’t think I’ll ever be someone who sleeps 8-9 hours a night, and in fact I start to develop a headache when I’m in bed that long, but I hope to make 7-8 hours the norm with only an occasional 6-7 hour night. That would be dreamy. 😜