Writing is my artistic expression. My keyboard is my brush. Words are my medium. My blog is my canvas. And committing to writing daily makes me feel like an artist.
We don’t have to feign naivety and pretend something horrible didn’t happen. Sad things happen in the world and we need to understand this. What we don’t need is a constant flow of news and a detailed account of the event pushed on to us, and more importantly pushed onto kids.
This was some professional advice shared with me 14 years ago, after a tragic suicide in our community that was followed shortly after by a school shouting in the US.
Refrain from sharing images or video of the incident.
If discussions do take place within the classroom, we recommend they be limited to a brief sharing of facts.
There will understandably be some anxiety around this incident and staff and students may have some level of emotional impact from the news.
Please watch for any changes in behaviour, particularly among vulnerable students, and refer appropriately to your school counsellor as needed.
Children don’t need to see report after report about a tragic incident. It doesn’t have to be the topic of a current events discussion. And nothing needs to be shared about a perpetrator of a horrific crime. Not even the perpetrator’s name. Not at school, not at home.
I could go on, but I’ve share a lot on this already, many years ago:
Excerpt: We often get results based on the pictures we fill our young impressionable students’ heads with. Tomorrow, I fear that well-intentioned teachers could stir up thoughts of fear for personal safety in young minds, as concerns about Newtown are discussed. As I said, ‘I’m willing to bet that hundreds of thousands of students that might have felt safe in their school, and would not have questioned their own safety, will now think of that question (Am I safe?) and perhaps be more frightened than if that question did not get discussed.’
Excerpt: The fact is that we know, both through research and from historical evidence, that glorified stories perpetuate the very sadness we are appalled by. But that doesn’t stop a major national magazine, MACLEAN’S, from glorifying a killer on their front cover page. I’ve shared the cover below, but took some creative liberties with a red pen to prevent this very post from doing what I wish others wouldn’t.
When I see a cover page like this, I’m left wondering what we truly value in our society?
It comes down to this: We need to care for those who are concerned, we don’t need to amplify concern. The less we share tragic stories as a community, the more care we are showing for that community.
A couple nights ago I flushed the toilet and the fresh water looked a light yellowy-brown. I waited and flushed again, it was the same colour. Then I went to the sink and ran it to discover that it wasn’t just a toilet issue but an issue with the water coming into the house. I called the city emergency line and spoke to someone about what was happening, and he asked for our address. Moments later her confirmed that maintenance crews were working on our waterline in the neighbourhood and they were aware of the situation.
He said that what I was seeing was iron deposits, and that I should wait 30 minutes, because the work wasn’t completed yet, then run water for 20-30 minutes and my water would be clear. And he said not to worry, that the water was still chlorinated and safe. It was late, so I waited until morning to cycle the water and it was clear in seconds.
This made me think about how lucky we are to turn on our taps and just expect clean and safe water. I’ve lived in this house for 27 years, and this is the first concern I’ve had about fresh water… and it was a minor issue that was over almost as fast as it arose. Then I thought of so many things we just take for granted:
Reliable electricity
Food availability
Food safety
Good roads
Hospitals
Safe schools
Safe communities
Emergency services
The list goes on and on. We live in one of the best countries in the world. We operate from a position where we just expect things to work… and they do. It’s far from perfect, but it’s a marvel that we can go through life not thinking about the safety and reliability of basic services, only recognizing that we take these things for granted when an anomaly happens. Because for the vast majority of our lives we are blissfully unaware of how lucky we are to have not just basic necessities, but comforts of life that we just expect to be there.
I know that ‘Avoid injury’ is not a great mantra because it’s a negative… a thing to steer clear of, rather than to head towards… but ‘staying safe’, or ‘being smart’ don’t get the same message across. So, ‘avoid injury’ is the thing I’m going to focus on in the gym, and in general, as I continue my healthy living journey.
I’ve been on a health kick since the start of 2019. Back then, I was the heaviest I’ve ever been, about 6-8 pounds heavier than I am now, and my belly was where I wore most of my excess. I dropped just over 25 pounds in less than 2 years, then I started putting some muscle on. I’ve put back on almost 20 pounds of muscle, at least half of which came in the last year and a half.
The biggest difference in the last year and a half has been my protein intake. I started having a protein shake for breakfast 4 years ago, but then instead of seeing that as enough, I started thinking of that as an insufficient base, which I supplemented daily. For example, adding a protein bar at work, and/or 2 hard boiled eggs as an extra boost in addition to my regular meals, and eating more protein at meal time.
This extra protein plus my efforts in the gym have really paid off. So much so that my wardrobe has needed an upgrade. I’ve still got quite a few things that used to fit me loosely, which now look like something I’m trying to show off in. The long sleeve sports shirt I’m in now used to fit over top of another shirt, now it’s tight on me without an undershirt.
My new goal has been to add 6-8 more pounds, reaching my all time high again, but with a totally transformed physique. Oddly enough, I think I’m at my ideal weight now, but I still have back issues and I’m always one stupid move away from a debilitating injury that will prevent me from working out for an extended period. So I work on strengthening my back, stretching, massages, and hot tubs to keep injury at bay. Because it is likely that some time in the next 10-15 years I could have an injury keep we away from the gym, and I could lose muscle then… never to get it back since it gets harder every year to add more muscle. I figure if I’m 6-10 pounds heavier in the next year, a bad injury scenario would set me back to this weight, rather than something less than ideal.
Thus my mantra, ‘avoid injury’. I like to lift heavy weights, but going too heavy could mean an injury. I like to play sports, but going too hard in a game like basketball could put me out of commission. I often have an ache in my back that makes me have to take it easy, pushing hard while my back hurts is a really bad idea that could leave me injured and out of the gym and off the treadmill for weeks or even months. Avoid injury.
This summer I was visiting a friend and we scootered to a pizza place for dinner. We had a couple beers with dinner and I told him we were going to Uber back. I don’t scooter much, we didn’t have helmets or any protective gear, and I wasn’t going to chance scootering home with my poor tolerance to alcohol these days. 10 years ago, there’s no way I would have made this decision, I would have scootered back to his place, but the wisdom of ‘avoid injury’ was on my mind.
The biggest issue with this mantra isn’t that it’s negative, it’s that it always has to be playing in my head: When I wake up feeling sore before a morning workout; when I go to do something as simple as tossing a ball or frisbee around; when I’m on a ladder; when I want to add weight to a set I’m doing in the gym…
The name of the game from this age on is staying healthy, staying strong, and keeping injuries at bay. Ultimately, avoiding injury is now a lifelong goal. I’m simply not going to bounce back from an injury like I did 20+ years ago, and so my mantra will keep me feeling as young as possible for as long as possible. Avoid injury!
Back in 2009, while living in Dalian, China, I wrote ‘Bubble Wrap‘ about how overly protected we are in the West compared to other places in the world. Here is the first half of the post:
“After a month in China, I’ve come to realize that North Americans live in a bubble wrapped world.
In the ‘Western’ world we walk around oblivious to our surroundings, going about our business feeling safe and secure. I don’t mean safe in the sense of being cautious of others, since in actual fact, I have always felt safe in China (other than in the occasional taxi), and in fact Dalian feels safer than downtown Vancouver or Toronto when I’m out late at night. I mean safe, in the West, in the sense that there are laws and bylaws and rules in place to make sure that we are ‘protected’ from unexpected harm: Guardrails and warning sign and lit-up crosswalks with pedestrian controlled lighting abound.
In the bubble wrap West we occasionally read or hear about someone who slips right next to a ‘wet floor’ sign or trips on an uneven curb and they end up blaming and suing others: “It wasn’t safe”, “It was faulty”, “The step was too high” or “The railing was too low”. Our day-to-day environment is safe, secure, sheltered… and sterile.
In China, things are different. Pedestrian walkways are a suggested crossing location and give no rights to the pedestrian. White and yellow lines on the roads are mere suggestions for where a pedestrian should stand as cars zip by at speeds up to 60km/hr, the occasional horn blast reminds you not to make any unexpected moves.
Here, doorways have immediate steps going up or down as you cross the threshold. You must walk with your eyes on the curb as a missing tile, or a sudden step may appear, unexpected by Western terms but fully expected here.”
Since then, I think things have gotten worse rather than better when it comes to safety. Case in point, the ban on cell phones in schools that has happened in other provinces and is about to happen in British Columbia. I can understand that they are a distraction, and I have no problem with schools or teachers having policies about using them appropriately and at appropriate times. But when one of the issues being discussed is student protection, a ban is not the answer.
“Today, kids live with different challenges than they did a generation ago, and they face them all in the palm of their hand,” said Premier David Eby. “While cellphones, the internet and social media help us connect with each other, they also present risks that can harm kids. The impact and influence of these tools is so great, and the corporations so powerful, it can be overwhelming for parents. That’s why we are taking action to protect kids from the threats posed by online predators and the impacts of social media companies.”
This reminds me of the filtering of websites, which I also was quite opposed to, (beyond porn and gambling as easy examples of things that should not be in schools, as compared to social media and web tools that were being blocked at the time). How do we help teach things like appropriate use when use isn’t allowed?Both my posts that I link to relate to issues at school, but here is another, totally unrelated and quite humorous example:
Last night I went to a washroom in a hotel in downtown Vancouver and saw this sign above a urinal.
Seriously?
We need a sign above a urinal… one that flushes with the water running along the walls of the basin we pee in… to remind us not to drink it. Oh, and not only because that’s not a smart or normal thing to do, but because the water is ‘non potable’?!?
Silly warnings, silly bans, silly attempts to bubble wrap the world.
The Delta variant of Covid-19 is very contagious. We aren’t in the clear yet and coronavirus could still cause all kinds of issues for the us, if people don’t get vaccinated… but this isn’t just for the public good, it’s for you individually as well.
99.2 percent of over 18,000 recent Covid-19 deaths in the US have been people not fully vaccinated.
Meanwhile, here in Canada, people are walking away from their second dose because it’s not the same vaccine… although the efficacy of this is not a concern.
When we lived in China from 2009-2011, we would see people wearing masks when we were out in the community. They weren’t used by most people, but there were enough people that wore them that they became something you were quite accustomed to seeing. Certain places you would see them more frequently, two of these being on public transportation, and in large underground malls, common in the city of Dalian.
Also, you would see street vendors who made your food wearing them as well, or the staff at the back of restaurants or food stalls. It was a common courtesy for food handlers to wear a mask.
Basically, you’d see masks occasionally worn in public, and worn more frequently in crowded indoor spaces, and by people who served food. That makes a lot of sense. Another place we would see them is worn by students who had colds. Parents would still send them to school, but with a mask… and that’s far better than what happens here with young students sniffling and wiping their snot on their sleeves.
As the population slowly becomes double vaccinated and the Coronavirus numbers come down, I wonder what mask use will look like here in Canada? How common will mask-wearing be as we start to unmask?
My guess is that Asian cultures that are used to having masks around for over a decade since SARS and H1N1 will wear masks far more frequently than other cultures… simply because it is good etiquette to wear them in crowded public places. But will this be something that is looked upon as a gesture of safety and respect for others, or will this make them a target for racism?
Who else will we see wearing masks regularly? The immunocompromised, germaphobes, food handlers? Will there be many random people wearing masks because they feel comfortable doing so, or because they don’t feel 100% well and don’t want to spread anything? Or will mask-wearing be an anomaly in a sea of unmasked people, going about their business like Covid-19 never happened?
I think the acceptance of after-pandemic mask wearing will depend more on the continued spread of variants, and that the longer Covid-19 lingers, the more accepted mask-wearing in public after vaccinations will be. My hope is that as people unmask, they also become accepting of seeing people prefer to keep masks on in public. Living in China and seeing masks frequently, I never thought of it as weird. I never judged someone for wearing one, and as an avid fan of street food, it comforted me to see a street vendor who wore a mask as he or she prepared my food.
We will be mostly unmasked soon. Let’s make sure that we are considerate to those who continue to wear masks, since they are being considerate of us.
It’s raining heavily and you are driving home. Windshield wipers are going as quickly as they can giving you the best view you can get given the weather conditions. You see car headlights heading your way and before you know it you are in a head on collision. Set aside who’s fault it is for a moment, just know your front bumper hit their front bumper, with both cars travelling at 65km/hr (40mph).
Cars today are designed to take a lot of the impact of a crash away from the people inside them. The front end of the car will buckle in front of the passenger cabin, and take the worst of the impact. That said, two things will help ensure greater safety for the drivers and passengers. First, there are seatbelts, and then there are airbags. But despite safety precautions, an impact like this could easily be fatal.
In this scenario, how safe would you want everyone to be? Would you like to know that both you and the person in the other car both had their seatbelt on, and that the airbags were present and deployed as expected?
Wouldn’t you want to know that you both did the best you could to protect yourselves?
Well, for all you anti-maskers out there, here is a simple analogy:
Poor weather = Pandemic, less than ideal conditions.
Car safety measures = Hospitals
Airbags = social distancing, protective distance between you and danger.
Seatbelt = Mask, personal protection.
The difference between a seatbelt and a mask is that your personal protection of a seatbelt in a car protects you, while a mask protects those in the community around you.
No one plans to get into a serious car accident, but they happen. When they do, the safety precautions you’ve taken might not be the same for the person or people in the other car. No one plans to spread a virus that might inconvenience some people, and kill others. No one wants an elderly family member or friend to die unnecessarily from something that could have been prevented, by something as simple as wearing a seatbelt or wearing a mask.
Don’t be an idiot. Buckle up. Mask up. Do it for your family, for those you love, and for those in the community that you live in. It’s your community. Do you want to be a good community member who shows that you care for those that are less fortunate than you? Or do you want to be thought of as reckless and stubborn? What kind of neighbour do you want to be?
In Canadian fashion I will apologies for this, but I don’t agree to disagree. Sorry.
No I won’t say it’s ok for you to have a different opinion about Covid-19, it is not just a flu. It’s also not an infringement on your rights to wear a mask any more than it is to insist you wear a seatbelt, or not enter a store naked from the waist down… and no, this is not a ridiculous comparison.
No, it’s not ok for you to spread QAnon conspiracies any more than it’s not ok to share religious reasons to infringe on the rights of others. These are both wrong in an open, free, and democratic society.
Do you have a right to expunge stupidity in this open, free, and democratic society? Yes. Yes, you do… but I don’t have to accept it as something deserving an equal stance to science and facts. I don’t have to see it as an opposing view worthy of debate. You are wrong.
I don’t agree to disagree, not at all. Your sources are not reliable, your opinions are not facts. I’m not agreeing to disagree. To do so, I would be weighing fact to fiction like they somehow are the same thing. They are not.
The economy can stay open if people wear masks, socially distance themselves and sanitize appropriately. Some people might disagree with me, and on a topic like this we can agree to disagree.
However, with 40,000,000+ cases worldwide 1,118,443 deaths, and over 9,000,000 known active cases worldwide this is not just a bad flu, it’s a pandemic. And if you want to disagree with that well then sorry… you are wrong.
Put a mask on, and thank those around you for being respectful and doing the same.
I don’t pretend to be a perfect dad, but let me tell you one thing that I do that I’m pretty sure I’ve got right. Whenever one of my kids asks me to pick them up at the end of the night, my default answer is always ‘yes’.
My oldest shared this with me one night when I picked her and three friends up from a club… We just dropped the 3rd one home and my oldest said about the kids me we dropped off second, “You know what she said to me before you picked us up? She said, ‘I think you dad actually likes dropping us home’.” We had a good chuckle.
Yes, I do.
I want to be asked. I want to know they are getting home safe. I want them to plan ahead and ask me. I want them to know that I’m the backup if things don’t go as planned.
The fact is if I’m part of the plan, I know the plan is good. I know they aren’t driving with a designated driver that still had drinks, or left the party early. I know that my kids will call me if they feel stuck, or uncomfortable, or decide to leave before the person driving.
And I want them to know that I’m not rolling my eyes, or judging them, or doing it begrudgingly. As they get older, they aren’t going to come to you for the big things if they don’t feel like they can come to you for smaller things… And playing chauffeur for them every now and then in their late teens and early 20’s isn’t half the work that being chauffeur to sports and dance and musical theatre and singing lessons were when they were younger.
“Hey Dad, can you drive me and a couple friends home at midnight tonight?”
The grocery store my daughter works at is finally asking all customers to wear a mask. My daughter started wearing one at work at the start of summer and at first she was only one of two employees doing so. Now all employees must wear them and customers not wearing them are provided one at the door. She has only seen one customer refuse to wear one since requiring them to mask up, and that person was asked to practice social distancing. My daughter says this person did so.
I recently unfollowed someone on social media that went on an anti-mask rant. I knew I wasn’t close enough to the person to make a difference to their opinion, (others had already tried) and to me, creating a ‘scene’ on someone else’s ignorant post only draws more attention to the post… Engagement makes the post move higher in the priority of it being shared on other timeline recommendations.
In BC, Dr. Bonnie Henry, our Provincial Health Officer, has done a wonderful job, and she is deservingly well liked. I admire the job she is doing too! My one complaint is that she seems to have an aversion to insisting on masks. When I look at statistics and see countries that are bigger than Canada and doing better than Canada dealing with Covid-19, it seems we are doing many of the same things, except for insisting on masks in public places.
People respect the yellow line in the middle of the road and don’t drive into oncoming traffic, because it’s not safe to do so. It took a while to happen when it first became law, but almost everyone wears their seatbelts, because they save lives.
Masks and social distancing should be mandatory in public spaces. These two things actively create a barrier between people to reduce the spread of Covid-19. It’s no harder to do than remembering to put your seatbelt on… once you get used to it, it’s just what you do.
