Tag Archives: practice

Antecedent to: Forever or a Failure

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Yesterday I wrote:

It’s Not: Forever or a Failure

Starting something and doing it for a while, then changing your mind is often seen as a failure. When in fact, it’s very possible that continuing on and being unhappy would be far more of a failure. Yet from the outside, sticking with it looks more like success than the person who changes their mind, and is ready to challenge themselves in new, interesting, and exciting ways.

Today I share an antecedent to this:

Stick to it! Don’t quit too early. The forever analogy above, and trying something new instead, relates to things you’ve done for a long time and feel committed to. But new things deserve time, effort, and some fortitude in times of difficulty.

It’s easy to make excuses why the new path you are on, or the new hobby you are trying, is too hard or to decide the learning curve is too big. It’s easy to rationalize giving up too quickly. Any new and worthy task or routine takes some grit to stick with. When you’ve given the new thing a few months, or even a few years, that’s when the idea that it need not be ‘forever or a failure’ comes into play.

Before that, when things are still relatively new, there needs to be a time commitment. After time has permitted a long term cost-benefit analysis, only then is quitting not a failure, and continuing forever could be more detrimental and less rewarding than moving on.

Doing new things can be scary, and it can be easy to justify or rationalize or even irrationally reason that continuing on in an activity is too hard, or not worth the effort. Leave a new habit or practice or hobby too soon and a failure is a failure. Continuing on too long, or not quitting because you are scared to vary from your comfort zone can also be a failure.

It’s a delicate dance of time… don’t be afraid to put the time into something new, and really give it a chance… and don’t spend more time on something than is necessary just because these are the same dance steps you’ve been doing for a long time.

Practice not information or knowing

I have weekly conversations with my uncle. Most days we talk about geometry, but today our conversation was more wide-ranging. One topic we discussed was meditation. My uncle is a practiced meditator and I am on a journey to a really meditative state that seems elusive to me.

I’m better at naming the experience rather than just embodying the experience. I understand the journey, I haven’t truly travelled it like he has. And the fundamental difference is practice.

I don’t spend enough time practicing. I have travelled the part of the journey from being angry every time my mind drifts or focuses on a thought to understanding that this is a natural part of meditation. However, I have not travelled the next part where I’ve truly experience the letting go, and feeling fully in a meditative state. I’ve knocked on the door, but haven’t stepped in.

What’s preventing me? Practice. Making time, and giving myself time to meditate. Instead of a 10 minute guided meditation that is really 4-6 minutes meditating with a little lesson, I need to give myself more time. I have to practice for longer than the point where all I’m doing is bringing myself back from distractions, back from wondering and wandering thoughts.

I know what I need to do. I’m not lacking information, I’m just lacking time, the time to practice. Until then while I can name the experience I will not truly embody the experience.

Back to archery

Yesterday I shot my compound bow for the first time in 10 months. I never intended to take such a long break. I write daily, I try to meditate daily, and I workout about 5 days a week on average. I also used to shoot arrows fairly regularly in 2021 and up to February of last year, then I let it drop off, and in April stopped altogether. The time commitment seemed too much with everything else I was doing plus work.

Going back and shooting again was fun. I had a blast and shot fairly well considering the gap. Here was my scorecard yesterday:

And here was my last score card back in April:

I also shot a 284 that morning as well. Looking at yesterday’s score, I would have been on par had I not shot my worst end to finish off the round.

Some of my shots were rushed. Most felt ‘punchy’ with my technique being more trigger pull than back tension, but I had a few good shots. Where I really struggled was keeping my focus, but that’s a lifelong challenge for me, as my continued struggles with meditation prove.

Overall it was enough fun that I now want to figure out how to add this back into my schedule? Habits are easier to break than to form and this habit involves a big time commitment. My short term goal is to not worry about scoring and putting in full rounds. I’ll try to refine set up and tear down time so that I can get 50-60 shots in and be in-and-out in an hour or so. First step is to get myself shooting a couple times a week and then I’ll worry about getting my arrow count up.

I remember why I took this sport up, and I want to find myself some time to enjoy it.

It’s magic

Yesterday I shared a simple, but very convincing magic trick with my niece and my mom. It starts with me shuffling the deck, and then giving them so much choice about where to put a couple cards that the outcome seems impossible. It’s not, it’s a simple trick.

When I was younger I was fascinated by magic. A few years after starting teaching I got a bit more into it. I got pretty good at a few tricks and could really fool students. But it was hard to keep up. Slight of hand is not something that comes naturally, it takes hours of practice to look effortless.

The thing about learning magic tricks is that as soon as you learn them the magic is gone. Sharing how a trick is done takes away the mystery and the experience of being ‘Wowed’. Even though you know it’s just a trick, while you don’t know how it’s done it carries a special power. When it’s known, it’s known, when it’s not known, it’s magic.

When you share a trick with someone, don’t share how it’s done… if you do, you are not just giving them something, you are also taking something away from them.

More on writing every day

“When we stop worrying about whether we’ve done it perfectly, we can start working on the process instead. Saturday Night Live doesn’t go on at 11:30pm because it’s ready, It goes on because it’s 11:30. We don’t ship because we are creative, we are creative because we ship. Take what you get, and commit to a process to make it better.” Seth Godin, ‘The Practice’.

Seth has written over 7,000 blog posts on his daily blog, dating back to 2002. One interesting point that he makes is that no matter how many posts he writes, 50% of them are his worst 50%, and not as good as the other half. It’s impossible to do better than that. It’s not about doing great work every day, it’s about ‘shipping’ work every day. It’s about being creative every day, it’s about the process… the practice.

I’ve written pieces that I’ve thought were quite good, and no one will probably ever look back at them. I’ve knocked off a quick post with little thought, and it garnishes comments and positive feedback… and occasionally these two things coincide. But it’s not accolades or attention that matters to me nearly as much as the commitment to write every day. To do the creative work. To wordsmith, to ponder, to question, and to practice the art of writing.

So forgive the typos, the comma splices, the run on sentences. Indulge me when I intentionally break convention. Like this. This is my muse, and I do my best to ship every day. And exactly half of the time, you’ll get better than average work from me.

Process vs results

My personal best on a 10-round Vegas 3-spot target (highest score 300) at 18m (20 yards) is a 289. I’ve done that 3 times now. I got a 288 last Tuesday with all arrows in the gold (score of X, 10, or 9, with an X also being worth 10). Today I shot a 284, but had three 8’s and a 7. I also had three more X’s than Tuesday (which is the bullseye the size of a penny).

Tuesday:

Today:

Take away my last 4 arrows and even with the 8’s I was on par for an equally good round as Tuesday. The problem is the huge lack of consistency.

Both results give me feedback to reflect on. Tuesday tells me that I can keep the arrow in the gold. Today tells me I can hit the X or 10 two-thirds of the time. Both results show improvement, and that I have a lot to approve on. But most of all, they tell me that I need to focus on every shot, and not think about the results. On Tuesday I knew I was shooting well, but I had no idea I was close to my record. Today I let myself slip at the end, because I already had 3 in the red, even though when I was on, I was really on.

Archery is unforgiving. Small mistakes are exaggerated as the arrow moves further away. Distractions and stray thoughts leave me doing things I shouldn’t, like triggering the release with my thumb rather than using back tension. Thinking about my results while shooting actually hurts my results.

It’s all about the process. And when I have a day like today, where I have big movements that end up with me shooting three 8’s and a 7, I think to myself, ‘I just need to keep shooting. 1,000 more arrows, then 1,000 more after that…’

Unlearning is harder than learning

In compound bow archery you use a trigger release to fire the arrow.

Although the trigger is released by the thumb barrel the correct motion is to use back pressure to fire, rather than squeezing your thumb. I tend to squeeze my thumb, trying to time when my sight is right on the bullseye. This technique can only get you so far, and it leaves you prone to target panic. Target panic is a response where you (unconsciously) rush a shot because you see you are lined up for a bullseye, but it’s caused by unintentionally panicking with a reaction that is neither controlled nor steady. It makes for a bad shot.

When you don’t have target panic, the shot feels good, and while it won’t be perfect, it can be consistent. However, you reach a plateau where you just can’t get much better being trigger happy rather than having good technique.

So I’m in the process of trying to stop using thumb pressure and start using back tension. That is, using a pulling back motion to apply pressure on the thumb trigger. A couple days ago I ended up shooting the worst two rounds I’ve shot in over a year. I’m trying to undo, or unlearn, what I’ve been doing for a long time, and it really sucks. But I’ve got to accept some poor scores while I rid myself of this bad habit. I have to trust my aim and not rush to time my shot while my site drifts past the bullseye. I need to unlearn a bad habit which is much harder than learning it right in the first place.

Making adjustments

This week I was talking to a grade 9 who wanted to do some research on how students perform on video games depending on the kind of music they listen to. We had students do this in our early years, with a driving simulator done in silence, with classical music and heavy rock. It can be a well done experiment, or it can have way too many variables and not truly measure anything or provide meaningful results. It’s hard to measure only the thing you want to measure.

I recently received my bow back, and today I shot for only the 3rd time in a while. Nothing feels normal and while my scores aren’t awful, they aren’t where they should be. The challenge is that I’m needing to think of too many things and my thoughts get in my way. I need to be patient, make one adjustment, and then shoot several arrows before making another adjustment. I’m splitting my focus. I’m adjusting too many variables and it’s not helping me. And as a result, I’m not feeling like I’m improving.

It will get better, I just need to shoot 1,000 more arrows… that’s been my archery mantra for a while. The challenge is not making too many adjustments at once along the way. If I keep doing that, it’s going to take a lot more arrows to see the improvements I want to see.

Meditation plateau

I’ve hit a flat spot in my meditation. I’m letting my mind slip for long periods, and even nodding off. I can’t seem to stay focussed, and no matter how much I tell myself that refocusing on my breath after distraction is a part of meditation, I find myself frustrated at my lack of ability to focus… although this frustration does come after I’m done, rather than in the moment.

I think I need to find time in my week to extend my meditation past 10 minutes. I think that I’ve created a pattern of 10 minutes of relaxation, not meditation. I need to get past this plateau rather than just get comfortable on it.

I thought after 2 years of consistency I’d feel more accomplished at getting into a meditative state… but this monkey brain seems a bit slow to learn, or rather, a bit too busy to be quieted. Whatever I decide do, it needs to be different than what I’m doing now, if I want to see and feel an improvement.

In the gold

Last Friday was my first time shooting arrows in 5 and a half weeks. I was happy to score a 283 with my personal best being a 289. Further to that my best score, hit twice before, was using my fat, tournament arrows (known as line-breakers because they can miss a section by a fair bit and still touch or break the line for a higher score). Yesterday I got my 3rd 289, and this time with my micro arrows, that are much harder to score with. I’m using these arrows for the summer because they can be used outside for distance, without being blown around too much like the tournament arrows would.

Here are my scores yesterday and today with my micros:

August 16th: (tied personal best)

August 17th:

These are great scores, and on my way to tying my personal best I was able to stay all in the gold for only the 3rd time. Then today I almost repeated this, except for a mental lapse in the 9th end. Interestingly enough, my mental lapse was on the 2nd arrow, when I had a big movement of my bow hand just as I was shooting. I was lucky and got the shot off before the big move, so I managed a 9, but then I was still thinking about my luck and was angry at myself and the next shot was off, despite physically being more stable than the previous shot. This isn’t a sport where you can keep thinking about your last shot and still shot well.

This consistency staying in the gold is great for me. I hope to be able to be even more consistently ‘in the gold’ (scoring 9’s or better every shot). If I can focus on this in the coming weeks, I know that I’ll be able to beat 289 soon. The priority though is consistency rather than score. If I keep my ‘mistakes’ in the gold, a new personal best is sure to follow.