Tag Archives: metaphor

Telephone game

We’ve all played it at some point. I whisper a complex message to you, you pass it on as best as you can. It goes through a group of people and the end result is nothing like the original message.

I have a recipe for Spanish Rice given to me by my mom over the phone. It’s a list of ingredients to put in a frying pan, with almost no measurements. “A big squeeze” of a bottle, “just a little bit” of another item. The only definitive instructions are to bake in a dish at 350° for about 30 minutes, with the water ‘just above the rice’.

I just made it for the first time this year and didn’t put enough water. I salvaged it by adding water in a much bigger dish, but it’s definitely not the best version I’ve made. I’ll make it better next time, because I’ll remember this experience. But both my daughters love this recipe and I’ll need to do a better job of sharing it with them rather than this vague set of instructions that I’ve used for over two decades now.

This makes me marvel at the way knowledge was shared through oral traditions, for thousands of years before written history. It makes sense that stories and metaphors were used to help make the information easier to transfer.

A great example is the three sisters:

“The Three Sisters are the three main agricultural crops of various indigenous people of Central and North America: squash, maize (“corn”), and climbing beans (typically tepary beans or common beans). In a technique known as companion planting, the maize and beans are often planted together in mounds formed by hilling soil around the base of the plants each year; squash is typically planted between the mounds. The cornstalk serves as a trellis for climbing beans, the beans fix nitrogen in their root nodules and stabilize the maize in high winds, and the wide leaves of the squash plant shade the ground, keeping the soil moist and helping prevent the establishment of weeds.” ~ Wikipedia

How many generations did it take to learn of this symbiotic relationship between the 3 plants? And then, how clever to call them ‘sisters’ to help solidify their relationship and easily pass on the information to the next generation.

But I also wonder what knowledge was lost, or passed on inaccurately? What stories live on, like those of a great flood shared by cultures and peoples all over the world; yet have been given different meanings and interpretations that are based on the metaphors and stories of them being transferred poorly, like the telephone game, over centuries and centuries, over an unknown number of generations. For most of human history the telephone game was the main way to transfer knowledge. What was lost along the way?

Information abundance requires pattern recognition

What a fantastic quote by Adam Grant,

“The hallmark of expertise is no longer how much you know. It’s how well you synthesize.

Information scarcity rewarded knowledge acquisition. Information abundance requires pattern recognition.

It’s not enough to collect facts. The future belongs to those who connect dots.”

Pattern recognition and synthesis are the path to innovation, ingenuity, and invention. The collection of knowledge is not enough. Wisdom comes from recognizing how to make connections across different fields, how to make meaning out of relationships that not everyone sees.

Artificial Intelligence can give us the knowledge we seek. It can dumb down the ideas to our level of understanding, and even teach us with relevant examples when we are stuck. More information won’t be what we seek. Instead we will seek new connections, patterns, and relationships.

The desired experts of tomorrow are probably not the siloed experts we once sought. Instead they will be information generalists who understand how to take information from different fields, identify relationships others don’t see, and synthesize information such that they can tell a story others won’t know to tell.

How are we preparing the next generation of learners for this new future? How will schools need to change to help students prepare for the future in a world of abundant and easily accessible information? It certainly won’t be by feeding them content. Instead, the future of education lies in creating challenges where students need to synthesize information and recognize connections and patterns across different fields of study.

Related: My ‘Transforming Our Learning Metaphors’ Ignite Presentation from almost a decade ago.

Kill a Snake

My Grandfather liked using the saying, “Kill a snake when it’s small.” He’d walk into your house and notice a loose tile, or drawer that didn’t fully close, or some other minor issue, and the next day he’d arrive with his tools and it would be fixed.

Deal with it while it’s a small issue. This is a great strategy, but one that’s often ignored in the world of health and fitness. Maybe ‘ignored’ is too harsh of a word, it’s more like not taken seriously enough… the small snakes are not payed attention to until they get quite a bit bigger.

Sore shoulder? It doesn’t hurt too much, I’ll just keep doing what I’m doing and stop later if it really hurts.

Hernia pain is back? I don’t need to go to the doctor, I’ll just monitor it for a bit and see if it goes away.

10 pounds overweight? I’ll watch my diet for a week before I go back to my normal routine.

Too busy to work out? I’ll just work out more when things calm down.

We ignore pain until it’s too painful to ignore. We watch our weight when it’s already a big problem. We give ourselves a pass on taking care of ourselves when we are busy, only to be busy more and more frequently. We ignore the small snakes, and wait for them to be bigger than we ever hoped they’d get.

The snakes we ignore come back to bite us.

Distraction and Focus

I spent spent 45 minutes on social media. That wasn’t my intent, I have a to-do list that will take me a fair bit of time, and I haven’t don’t my normal daily routines, like writing here, yet. Now that I’m here, I’m focused. I have my headphones on, and my ‘Writing’ playlist playing softly in my ears. I know that I won’t be distracted, and I won’t get up from my laptop until I hit the ‘Publish’ button. I know how to focus, how to stay on a task until it’s done. The issue isn’t the doing, it’s the getting started. Once I’ve started, it will get done (usually) efficiently and (usually) effectively, (I’m far from perfect).

But the world is full of distractions. My phone is probably the biggest one. But so are things like feeding the cat, doing the dishes, television, and tasks that are easier to do than getting started on something bigger. Social media algorithms are designed to keep me engaged, learning from me, and pointing me to things that will keep me scrolling, liking, sharing, and wanting more. I’m not the only one. I love when my wife has to do report cards, suddenly she finds the time to bake, and I get my fill of things like chocolate chip cookies and banana loaf. As a 30 year teacher, I can tell you that she writes amazing report cards that really show that she has put thought into every report… every kid. But before she spends hours on the task, she bakes, cleans, and finds many reasons not get started.

Distractions can be useful, after all the cat does need to be fed and the dishes won’t clean themselves. But distractions can also be a complete waste of time. They can suck time up like a vacuum. A vacuum only sucks what you point it at, and likewise if you point your distractions towards a time-waster, that’s all it takes in. Part of me knows that I work a bit better when I have a deadline, and today I have one with a family commitment in a few hours that will take up the rest of my day. So, after being distracted for 45 minutes, I’m now wondering if I’ll get everything done that I hope to finish. How much less stress would I have placed on myself if I had used that 45 minutes better? Or would I have done the same amount of tasks but simply spread them out to fill the time?

I’ll never get rid of all the distractions I have, but I do think often about how to reduce the ones where I don’t use my time well. I battle with the joy I get from death scrolling on social media, and the thoughts I have about how much better I can use that time. What if I used that time for more writing? What if I spent that time with family and friends? What if I actually started doing archery again? Those are not things I would consider distractions. Those are things I’d like to focus on. Will they give me the same dopamine kick social media gives me? Probably not, but the dopamine spike doesn’t seem like something I should focus on.  That just seems like an empty distraction.

Put your own oxygen mask on first

Arianna Huffington is 74 years old and she just recently started a new AI business. She started the Huffington Post at age 55 and sold it 6 years later for 315 million dollars. In this The Diary of a CEO podcast interview with Steven Bartlett she shares this gem of a story.

The moral of the story is simple: Leaders need to take care of themselves, and get enough sleep, in order to be at their best. She says, “All the science now makes it very clear that when we are depleted we are going to make bad decisions.

Then quoting Jeff Bezos, “I sleep 8 hours a night… I’m judged by the quality of my decisions, not the quantity of my decisions.

As the new school year begins, take this as a reminder to take care of yourself first, if you really want to take care of your staff and students. It’s not good enough to only exercise, and eat well, and get enough sleep when you are not busy. You owe it to yourself, those you serve, and your job, to treat yourself well. It’s not selfish to put on your oxygen mask first, it’s how you get enough air to take care of others.

Build good habits and take the time to care for yourself first, when you are busiest, and it will become very easy to do so all the time. You will benefit as a person, as a friend, as a partner, as a parent, as an employee, and as a leader. It starts with you taking care of you.

Fashionable Opinions

I came across this quote by Adam Grant,

“We shouldn’t see our opinions as cherished possessions. We should treat them like everyday clothes.

Look at the views in your closet that were trendy once. Discard the ones that look silly to you now.

Wear the ideas that fit you today. Be ready to outgrow some of them tomorrow.”

I like the idea that we reflect and reconsider our opinions, ideas, and values… not getting stuck, and not growing. The challenge of ideas like this is that some things come into fashion that shouldn’t. Sometimes it is far more valuable to buck the current fashionable ideas and to wear your opinions no matter how unfashionable they may be at the time.

The question being danced around is: Is this just trendy or is it timeless?

Freedom, democracy, equity, fairness, justice, compassion… these are never out of style, even if not trendy at the time. Sure we need to, “Wear the ideas that fit you today. Be ready to outgrow some of them tomorrow.” But some ideas transcend the fashions of the time. And while these ideas are timeless, there are times where wearing them can be unfashionable.

So, while I agree with Adam Grant, don’t be afraid to be unfashionable for the right reasons.

The Gaps

They are the space in between. The gaps that separate knowing from doing.

It’s what allows you to be kind to others, but doesn’t allow you to be kind to yourself.

It’s the awareness of what you should eat and what you actually snack on without thinking.

It’s having great habits in one area of your life and not being able to duplicate them in other areas of your life.

It’s waning motivation when the job is almost done, which delays completion.

It’s getting too little sleep but delaying bedtime with unproductive distractions.

It’s not facing the most urgent thing by keeping busy with less important things.

It’s the gap. Sometimes it’s narrow and easy to cross, and other times it’s an impassable crevice. It’s the creator of guilt, and a point of self loathing, or disappointment.

It’s the yeast that gives rise to procrastination and excuses. It gets baked into your routines. It’s the stale crust that is unappetizing but still edible.

Take small bites.

Tiny steps forward.

Narrow the gap. You aren’t going to get rid of it, but you can reduce its impact. It’s easier to take baby steps than it is to try to leap across a chasm, but once you let the gap become a chasm, it feels like it’s too late. Baby steps, one foot in front of the other, and some gaps will slowly disappear… but more knowing/doing gaps will always appear. If they didn’t, life would probably be pretty boring.

Frame of mind

Yesterday I didn’t work out. I planned to but things just got in the way, including my lack of motivation. I don’t need motivation today because weekdays I have a habitual routine and I know that I’ll be working out after I publish this. But weekends are often off schedule and motivation is required. I didn’t have it yesterday.

That said, I’ve only taken one other day off in about a month, and two days are not a big deal to miss out of 30. I intellectually know this, missing my workout wasn’t a big deal. Yet because I intended to work out, I didn’t have the right frame of mind about my missed workout. If I woke up feeling awful like I did last week, head pounding, and needed a break, that’s ok. But waking up with full intention to do my daily exercise and then not doing so feels like a failure.

Yesterday I had to help my wife with a task on her computer. It’s something I’ve done many times but the setup on her computer was different and this simple process took 3 times as long as it should have. I was frustrated. I was speaking to the computer as if it was an animate object that could hear me. I swore. I got angry. I wanted to throw the laptop across the room. It was stupid, and worse yet the whole thing still only took about 5-6 minutes to do. I should never have let this minor slow down get to me, but I wasn’t in a resourceful frame of mind.

Yesterday I ended the day with a meditation. I lay down with headphones on in the spare bedroom and woke up 50 minutes later not having heard any of the last 1/2 of the 20 minute session. I didn’t even realize I was that tired, but the meditation was actually just a nap. Instead of accepting this, I was upset that I chose to lie down and allowed myself to fall asleep. I went to my bed but rather than falling directly back to sleep, I was up and disappointed about missing my meditation, and then was missing sleep as a result. That’s far from a meditative frame of mind, and certainly not why I meditate.

Each of these minor things could have felt different if I was in a different frame of mind. Each of these were unnecessary stresses that I allowed to build up in me. They really weren’t reasons to be upset. They weren’t moments that I needed to fret about. They were not things that needed to set a negative mood or to perseverate about.

Sometimes resourcefulness takes too much effort. It’s easy to beat yourself up rather than to frame things in a positive way. Sometimes the frames around your thoughts are rigid. Cold. Unkind. You would give anyone else a break, give them an opportunity to slip up, or not follow through… but yourself, no, you don’t give yourself the opportunity.

Get it right, or be disappointed.

Failure is not an option.

Mistakes are something other people can be forgiven for.

Results are required. Now.

This is not a healthy frame of mind. It does not provide any benefits, and it steals joy. It’s better to be gentle. All it takes is seeing outside the frame. I’ll push hard on my workout today. This morning I already redid the same meditation I slept through yesterday. And I see the futility of being upset at my wife’s computer. The poor framing is easy to see today, the trick is to see it in the moment, and to be kinder to myself when I don’t have the right frame of mind.

Reflections of the past

I noticed it just as I was hitting ‘send’. My daughter had sent a Snapchat from a cottage she was leaving, a quick note to her family to say that she enjoyed her little getaway. I sent a response photo, a quick selfie as a replay with a comment like, ‘Hope you had fun’ written over the image. I didn’t pose. I didn’t concern myself with how I looked. It was only a quick picture going to my family, and so I just clicked the photo, wrote the text, and sent the image off to the group chat… knowing that it would disappear just after my family saw it. That’s the thing about Snapchat, unless one of my family saved the image in the chat, it would be gone after they look at it.

Except, for a split second before I hit the send button I saw something I didn’t expect. I saw a reflection of my grandfather in the image of myself. This was unusual, because I don’t really look like him. Sure, I often see reflections of my dad in my own reflection, we have similar traits and they seem to converge as I age, but I don’t have a lot of similar features to my grandfather, my mother’s dad.

I’d only seen this once before, years ago, and again on Snapchat. I used the aging filter and for the first time ever I saw a resemblance to my grandfather when I added about 25 years to my current age. But this time there was no filter, no gimmick, just a quick, unposed image of myself and a peek of my grandfather looking back at me.

It has been almost a quarter of a century since my grandfather passed away. Just over 38 years since the other one passed. That amazes me, because some of the memories of them still feel close. A friend recently shared this about aging, “The days seem longer, and the years seem shorter.” This resonates with me. A day seems to last about a day long, it doesn’t fly by, but the years have. My reflection in the mirror is somehow older than it should be. The man looking back has seen more years than I expect him to see.

It was just a quick glimpse of my own reflection, but one that has me reflecting on how quickly time passes. One that has me appreciating those who have been part of my life, and are gone, as well as those who are here with me now. The years are short, but they are lengthened by the memories we form, the moments that are not just ordinary. If we don’t make efforts to connect with others and create special moments, then those moments are nothing more than Snapchat memories… gone moments after we look at them.

Empty Cup

The timing was perfect. I was not feeling well and took the day off. Then I saw this later in the day:

There was a bit of work that still had to be done, but I needed this day… and I took it. I think now of all the times I didn’t. I’m not sure I was my best, and it probably showed. We can’t be at our best when our own cup is empty.