That’s a quote my dad often shares,
“What’s between our ears is the last frontier.” ~ Abraham Truss
Isn’t it amazing how much we know about the complexities of life, the universe and everything, but we don’t know where consciousness comes from? We still debate whether or not we have free will.
There is so much we still don’t know about the last frontier.
You don’t pick your parents. You don’t pick your country of birth. My grandfather was born in the Ukraine. I could have been too. My other grandfather escaped Poland before the second invasion in WWII. Much of his family that didn’t escape perished. I could have never come into existence.
There are children being born today that will have little or no chance of ever going to school beyond high school. Others who will start work before their 10th birthday. Still others that will know hunger in ways we never will.
We take for granted the opportunities we are given. We complain about things that others would consider a luxury… I wish my car had heated seats. I wish I had the latest phone. I asked for onion rings but they gave me fries.
Sometimes it’s worth pausing for a moment to appreciate that through sheer luck of birth, we have been given opportunities others will never get. We won a lottery that others dream of winning. Be grateful. Be thankful. Be generous. Be kind in thoughts, words, and deeds… Especially to those that have not been as lucky.
I bet everyone has a story about how they almost lost an eye. A projectile of some sort just missed their eye; the corner of a car door; something in their hand that just missed their eye when they fell. There’s always a harrowing close call where someone could have lost an eye but didn’t. It’s amazing that there aren’t more people walking around our planet with an eye patch or glass eye.
There are however, a lot of people that wear glasses to improve the sight they do have. I’m just getting to that point now. When my eyes are tired I struggle to read on my phone and I depend on some 1.25 magnifiers to help me keep things in focus. It’s amazing how we’ve been able to improve the vision of people who would otherwise live in a blurry world.
A little luck, and a little science keeps us seeing the world clearly, with perspective, out of two eyes. And our world is filled with wonderful things to see. Beautiful people, food, sunsets, and all sorts of amazing things from the smallest of creatures to the vastness of distant stars in the night sky.
Sight is a gift, and it’s amazing to think of how lucky we are to see the world in all of its splendour. I don’t think we spend enough time appreciating how lucky we are to see. .
When we moved into our house we did a renovation upstairs, converting from 4 bedrooms to 3. The front bedrooms were 9’x9′, 8’x9′, and 10’x9′. The smallest, middle room had a tiny closet and wasn’t really functional as a bedroom, and so we created 2 larger rooms out of the three. We were also able to add more room to the master bedroom, creating a second closet and an alcove for a large chest of drawers.
In the process, we tore up the ugly carpet in the hallway. We cut the carpet at the top of the stairs, and just had the plywood floor between bedrooms. When the rooms were done, we painted upstairs, and while doing so I painted a message to my wife. Her nickname is Bean, shortened from Ann-E-Bean, and so I wrote ‘Hi Bean’ halfway out of the hall closet, knowing that we were going to carpet over it in a few days.
The only thing is, we didn’t put carpet back in for about 5 years. We had a carpet runner down the hallway, and my little message was there long enough for my oldest daughter, who Ann was pregnant with when we moved in, to be able to read on her own. There was always something we were spending our money on that kept us from spending some on this final part of the upstairs renovation.
When we moved in, we knew we couldn’t afford to renovate the kitchen as well as upstairs, but after moving into a house with purple countertops and pink tiles with a pink motif behind the stove, and pink wallpaper… we realized that the house would never feel like ours if we didn’t change this. Then we updated the back yard, replaced the hot water tank, and replaced the furnace.
Instead of replacing the carpet upstairs, we’d buy new living room furniture, bedroom furniture to replace the Ikea pieces we moved in with, replace all of our windows. There was always something we were working on, and since it’s only our family that lived upstairs, we just tolerated the plywood underfloor and runner down the hallway until finally a close friend of ours essentially told us, “Either you buy carpet for upstairs or I’ll do int for you… it’s ridiculous that you’ve been living ‘under construction’ for your kids’ entire lives.”
She was right and we finally put carpet in.
Now, as we are remodelling our main floor, another 17 years later, and we decided to extend the main floor flooring up the stairs and into the upstairs hallway. Last night we came home from work and the hallway carpet was pulled up. For me it was a complete blast from the past to see my little message to my wife painted on the plywood. It brought back some fond memories. It was something that was part of our lives for years, and it was fun to see it uncovered again. It will probably be covered up today, never to be seen by us again, but I did take a photo and it really was a treat to see it again.
I also added this to our first’s bedroom, but it was covered so we didn’t see it often.
It’s that time of year when students are applying for university, or college, or a technical institute, and the concern about their marks is at the forefront. Suddenly, a difference of 2% could matter. And while some schools want a personal profile, and want to know more than just marks, the marks matter a lot. But I wonder how many straight ‘A’ students head off to university and then drop out during or after their first year? I bet it’s a higher number than you would guess.
How many students have had their grades spoon fed to them with cookie cutter precision, doing exactly what the teachers want, but not learning what it’s like to manage their own time, or direct their own learning, or manage relationships with people outside the safety of their own grade and school?
Universities don’t find out a lot about a student when they determine entrance by small differences in GPA. How important is a 2% difference in grades, when so many other things factor into success? But if you are short 2% and your application doesn’t get looked at, it actually matters a lot.
Relationships can be the same. How important is: communication; money; sex; balance of responsibilities; work/life balance; diet & exercise; or support in a relationship?
If you are running a deficit in any of these areas, then it matters a lot. If you feel you have balance or your needs are being met, these things don’t matter much. If something is unbalanced or missing, then the level of concern increases. A simple example is money. If you have a little less money than you wish you had, you might not go on as expensive a vacation as you hoped for, that’s a minor issue and money isn’t really important. If you can’t pay rent or buy groceries for the week, then money is a major issue.
It doesn’t matter if it’s marks, or money, or any other concern I did or didn’t list, it’s when there is a deficit that these things become important. We often take advantage of the things that are working in our favour, because they aren’t a concern, and worry about the things that we are missing. While this is necessary for us to meet our desires and needs, it can often be at the expense of living a good life.
What is the price paid by a high achieving student who is so marks focused that they don’t enjoy other aspects of their lives so they can get a 96% instead of a 94%? What about a workaholic who is trying to squeeze out a few more thousand dollars by working a 65 hour week?
How important is it to meet the needs you have, and what’s the true price of meeting these needs? I’m sure in some cases the effort or sacrifice is important enough… but other times it really isn’t, and focusing on the deficits might make you lose focus on what’s really important.
Some days slip bye and when you look back, it’s hard to say what you did to fill them. On those days I try to think of small yet special moments:
A laugh with colleagues.
A good conversation.
A delicious snack.
A kind gesture.
A selfish moment.
A selfless moment.
A single accomplishment.
It doesn’t have to be a big thing, it just has to be something that I can identify that made the day a good day.
When you read quotes about life, you read things like, “Life isn’t measured by the breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.” That sounds beautiful, but how many daily ‘take your breath away’ moments do you really live in your daily life?
No, life’s not just about the breathtakingly special moments… it’s about filling you life with, and appreciating, the tiny little moments that make life worth living.
I wrote a post recently about my routine being disrupted, and a good friend read it then texted me saying, “Hey, be gentle with yourself around the whole routine thing. We’ve been thrown a huge curveball right now and it’s impacting everybody“.
I replied that I’m motivated by making my goals public, and I did indeed improve on my routine. However, my response neglected to really listen to the point he was making. In previous posts I’ve written about the fact that I tend to consistently wake up before my alarm. Last night I was in bed earlier than usual, and while I looked at the click far more often than I usually do, I needed to hear my alarm to wake up for the 4th day in a row. I find this frustrating because I wake up before my wife, and she is a light sleeper, so I know my alarm disturbs her sleep quite a bit.
But as I started to beat myself up about the fact that I can’t seem to do something that I’ve previously found easy to do, I thought of my buddy’s message. Nothing is normal these days. Everywhere I look, things are either disrupted due to Omicron, or someone I know, and/or their family members are dealing with Omicron. Schedules at work have changed, students are all in rows facing the front of the class, and people’s plans and lives are being disrupted.
Extending my buddy’s metaphor, we haven’t just been thrown a curve ball, we have been thrown a curve ball with a wiffle ball. 🤪
Yeah, I’m out of sync, the whole damn world is out of sync! And maybe I have to wake up in the morning with an alarm, like most people do anyway. And maybe my healthy living routine will get disrupted again. And maybe (likely) Omicron visits our immediate family. And maybe I be gentle with myself when I swing and miss the curve balls headed my way.
If you are living a life where things feel somewhat normal, you deserve a trophy. And if you aren’t feeling like things are normal right now, be kind to yourself and know that it’s perfectly ok to be feeling the way you do. Give yourself a break… you deserve it! (And so do I.)
My wife and I are constantly asking questions like this since we started our main floor renovation. We usually have our spots for things as we enter the door and those spots have been replaced by plywood and empty rooms. This morning it was, “Where’s my wallet?”
But as I internally asked myself that question, I wondered whose voice do I here and who am I asking? Do I really need to verbalize that question to myself? Yes, I do. But why?
Our minds are fascinating. And they don’t come with a user guide. One important thing that I’ve learned about it though is that minds are powerful answering machines. My mind may not know where my keys or my wallet are, but it immediately starts to think of a possible answer when I ask.
So are we asking the right questions? I’m not sure we are most of the time?
Why do I always lose my keys?
Why do these things always happen to me?
What’s wrong with me?
Why me?
Ask and ye shall receive. Seek and ye shall find.
Ask the wrong questions, and your amazing brain will do its job and find you an answer.
So, are you asking your brain empowering questions, or are you asking it questions that undermine you, and give you reason to believe you deserve less, are worthless, (worth less)?
What did I do with my keys after I came through the front door?
What will make this situation better?
What can I ask myself, so that my brain gives me a worthy and self-enriching answer?
It’s time to find the key.
—
Have you ever noticed that sometimes it feels like the days slip by. You follow a routine filled only with preparing for work, work, preparing and eating meals, your commute, and preparing for the next day? Sometimes there is a thin line between existing and living. This line separates what feels like a Groundhog Day from some simple things that make life great.
—
Crossing the Thin Line
A genuine laugh.
A shared smile.
A deep conversation.
A thoughtful contemplation.
A short walk.
A long reflective pause.
A delicious lunch.
A worthy cause.
A kind gesture.
A little surprise.
A random purchase.
A twinkle in someone’s eye.
It can be internally driven, it can be externally motivated.
It can be deliberately sought after, it can be accidentally activated.
It’s not a chasm to cross, just a simple fine line… Between a day lost simply existing, and a life sublime.
Today I turn 54. I’m starting my 55th rotation around sun on this tiny blue rock. While I have been taking good care of myself and feel great, I also realize that there are things that time does to your body that are irreversible… like my hairline. 🤣
On a more serious note, it amazes me that I am now older than my parents were when I left home and headed to BC. They were in their late 40’s when I left. That means the vast majority of my memories of being in my family home are memories of parents who were spring chickens compared to me now.
How did I get here? Time passes so quickly. Five years ago retirement seemed a lifetime away, now it’s actually something my wife and I are planning for. 10 years ago ago I had 2 kids that weren’t even teenagers yet, and in a few months my youngest will be 20 and once again I won’t have any teenagers.
I feel blessed for having the life I’ve had, and I look forward to a lot more (hopefully healthy and happy) years ahead. I just marvel in the fact that so many years have gone by so quickly, and time seems to be speeding up.
I don’t usually think much about birthdays. The one birthday that made me sad we my 36th. A couple days after that birthday I had to fill out a form and the checkbox for my age went from ages 36-54. That put me in the dumps. I felt all depressed that I was now lumped in with the 50-year olds. Now that I’m at the tail end of that category, I simply look forward to what comes next.
Hairline be damned, it is going to recede and turn more grey no matter what. But I’m hopping on my exercise bike this morning, I’m going to shoot some arrows, and I’m going to have a wonderful family dinner. It’s a good day to appreciate the gift of life, and to use the time I have well, as I rocket towards this spot on the earth’s orbit again in another year.
