Tag Archives: holidays

Keeping with it

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Habit versus motivation: habits win.

I am lazing around on holiday. There’s nothing outwardly wrong with that, if only I could feel better about it. Yesterday my wife and I did a walk up a big hill in 33° weather (91° for my Fahrenheit friends). It was hard, but rewarding. I was impressed with my wife who had us jogging down the hill, when I would have chosen to walk.

Today it feels hotter, but I procrastinated all morning and now I still haven’t worked out yet and it’s mid afternoon. I have no idea what I’m going to do for a workout, but I know I’m going to work out… it’s just that my motivation in this heat is very low. Our tent is a steam room, too hot to stay in, and I’m sticking to the chair, sweaty, as I write this in the shade.

I have no problem working out regularly at home, it’s a habit. I wake up, start my morning routine, and before going to work I’ve worked out, meditated, and written my blog post. Meanwhile I’ve been here 3 nights, missed one workout, and didn’t blog or meditate until after 9pm 2-out-of-3 nights so far.

It’s simple: Habits are easy, motivation is hard.

I’ll need to figure out some new routines because I’m spending a good part of my holiday thinking about and avoiding things I usually get done before 7am. As for right now, I’m going to do a meditation and push myself to complete a workout despite the heat. I want it to hurt today, to motivate me to not wait until this time tomorrow. In the world of motivation I’ve learned that I prefer the stick to the carrot… the avoidance of pain rather than the promise of reward.

With good habits, I can just avoid the need for motivation altogether.

You’ve made good time

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It wasn’t a a question, but rather a statement, “You’ve made good time.”

We were on our way to holiday in Kelowna and our youngest daughter was spying on us. Well, not really spying, that suggests something clandestine and this was fully consensual. We share our locations with each other on our phones.

I think my daughter uses it on my wife and I more routinely than we do on her, and that’s perfectly ok with me. I tend to use it when I’m headed to bed and she’s not home yet, and sometimes when I’m the first one home from work and wondering where everyone else is?

I’ll sometime get texts from my daughter that say, “You’re still at work?”, and I know that again is more of a statement than a question… she checked my location before asking. Then the conversation moves to dinner plans or evening plans, and maybe even a request for a drive so that she doesn’t have to take her car somewhere that she may have drinks. Again this is perfectly fine with me.

I can see how this tool can be weaponized by a controlling parent or spouse, but in the hands of mutually respectful people it is really handy. It allows us to connect and feel connected, even when we are headed on holidays. And it changes the conversation from ‘Where are you?’ to the follow up questions that matter more.

Anywhere in the world

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If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you go?

If it were just up to me, and I got to choose (because I’m not sure my wife would agree), then these are the places I’d consider:

Barcelona: I don’t speak Spanish, and languages are not easy for me, but I loved the ‘livability’ of this city. It’s made for pedestrians, not cars, and I loved how the outdoor spaces were extensions of the indoor spaces. I was there in the winter and believe that if I went to visit in the summer I’d never want to leave.

The Caribbean: My Bajan roots run deep, and I’d love to live on an island. That said, I wonder if it would be too ‘small town’ for me? I haven’t spend much time there in the latter part of my life, and while there is a romanticized sense of appeal, I’m not convinced I’d want to live in the Caribbean as much as I’d like to visit more frequently.

Costa Rica: A favourite family holiday destination. Maybe that’s the appeal. Like the Caribbean, I don’t know if this is more of a holiday destination or a retirement destination, but everything about my trip there tells me that I want to spend more time there in the future.

Thailand: The people are so nice, and the country is beautiful. I enjoyed the Philippines as well, but the Philippines felt more like a holiday destination. Having lived in China, I don’t know if I’d go back there to live, although there are many more destinations in China to visit, yet Thailand has a feel more like ‘home’.

Australia: I’ve never been, but everything I hear about this wonderful country tells me that I could grow roots there.

Places I still want to explore: These aren’t places I necessarily want to live because I don’t know what I don’t know about them, but I really want to visit Italy, Portugal, Croatia and other Balkan countries, and Taiwan. There are also so many more places in the world that I want to visit: Countries in South America and Africa, India, Iceland, and many European countries are all on my wish list, but these again are holiday destinations for me until I actually visit them and can make a more informed decision.

I don’t know if any of these appeal to my wife, and the reality is that unless one or both of our daughters leave BC, Canada, it’s likely this will remain my wife and I’s home location. Still it’s nice to dream about possible places to live, and right now these are the places that have the most appeal to me… maybe I’ll revisit this in a few years, and if not a final destination, perhaps these can be long-term visit locations for my wife and I during retirement.

Where would you want to live? And why?

Mixed emotions

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It’s the last day of the winter break. Tomorrow everyone heads back to school. I always find the last couple days before heading back a bit of a reset. The rush of the holidays is over, and my willingness to start something new is extremely low. In the last couple days I’ve watched more television with my wife than I have the rest of the 2 weeks of the break.

That said, I’m not begrudging the return to work. I’m excited about starting up again. I’m looking forward to seeing students in the building and hearing about their holidays. I’m already thinking about things I want to accomplish this term.

Part of me would love to have another week off, and part of me can’t wait to get back to a regular schedule. It’s a mixed feeling and one that sits heaviest on me on the day before I head back. I don’t always know how to balance the different emotions I feel on this day. I kind of just drift through the day, wondering if I should spend time catching up on things like email, or doing something… anything… that says ‘you are still on holidays – enjoy!’

Inevitably, I end up doing ‘not enough’ of either. In actuality, that’s not true, but that’s the emotional rollercoaster I go through every last day of an extended break.

Festive feelings

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Yesterday I went to two different social gatherings, a breakfast and an after work event. The day before I was at a big Christmas dinner. It’s that time of year when we get together to celebrate, socialize, and fill our bellies with food. This past weekend I wrapped presents and stockings. Although my daughters are in their 20’s, they still get stockings to open on Christmas Day.

It’s wonderful to gather and spend time with family and friends. It makes me feel blessed to work in an environment where I feel helpful, useful, and productive. I feel blessed to be in a loving family that actually likes spending time together. And I enjoy the festivities that we hold this time of year.

Gathering with people you care about and enjoy being with is special, and it reminds me how important it is to find the time to connect and to be social. It makes me wonder why I don’t make more of an effort to do so when it’s not for a special occasion. There are good reasons to connect all year, we don’t need to wait until a holiday, or year’s end to feel festive and to gather with friends… we can be festive any time of year.

Back to the routine

After 6 weeks holidays, I’m back to work today. While work creeped into these holidays a fair bit, it was the most ‘off’ I’ve been in years… and quite frankly I needed it. I spent over a month of this break away from home, and it’s nice to be back in my own bed.

I feel refreshed and ready for the new school year. The long hours don’t start until September, and so I can get acclimatized over the next couple weeks. This starts today with my writing, meditation, exercise, and stretching first thing in the morning.

I’m someone who both dislikes and requires good routines. I dislike them because they make the days seem a bit robotic, like I’m just going through the motions. I require (and even like) them because I can get a lot done and feel accomplished.

This holiday started really strong with maintaining my routines but my Toronto trip home was quite disruptive. I was stuck on Vancouver time, staying up until well after midnight in Toronto, but still waking up early. I moved a lot of boxes, but didn’t do any cardio, and I don’t think I meditated more than once in 11 days. I accomplished a lot helping my mom, but really broke my routine and ate too much.

But then again, I was on holidays, and had a wonderful time. I got to spend a lot of time with my wife, and a bit of time with my kids too. I think as school starts, I need to build time in with them as part of my routine as well. It’s easy to put in long hours and not make time for family… not on purpose, just by nature of the job.

Routines can help to regulate things that can normally be neglected. My morning routine lets me feel like I’ve accomplished something for myself before I start my job in the service of others. I think the next step is to routinize some quality time with family, or before I know it the school year is over and work was the only priority after my morning routine.

Off again

In a few hours I fly back ‘home’ to Toronto to visit my mom and sisters. It’s just me going, my family is staying back. It’s hard to believe that I’m already more than 2/3rds through summer and I’m basically back at work after this trip.

That said this has been a rejuvenating summer and will continue to be so on this next trip. I needed this. I really needed this.

Holidays are battery charges and I feel like I’ve already had a good charge. Last school year was filled with new challenges and new health issues and the loss of my dad. Sure I still have a long road ahead with my pinched nerve from a herniated disc, but I am not in pain and I’m on the mend… and I’m on the road again.

This is my third of 4 trips home this summer and the first one where I won’t be in agony, I’m really looking forward to it!

Packing up

It’s amazing how much time we spend preparing to go on a vacation and then preparing to go home. This is especially true camping, but also when flying somewhere.

Whether it’s packing the car or a suitcase, it takes time. Whether driving or flying, it takes time. Holidays are wonderful, but how much of the holidays are spent in transition… from one location to another and from closet to suitcase? Entire days are spent getting to and from a location, settling in, and preparing to leave.

One of our favourite family vacations was to Costa Rica. But we made one mistake on that trip. Three places we stayed at were for only 2 nights. Day one you are traveling, day two is the only full day, and day three you need to get out of your hotel before noon. A better plan is at least 3 nights in a location.

Give yourself two full days to explore a city. If not, you spend more time traveling, unpacking, and repacking, and planning your next stop, than you do actually enjoying yourself.

Our current trailer camping trip was almost 2 weeks, so we didn’t have that problem, but still I’m amazed how much time we spend getting ready to travel both to and from home. The good news is that we won’t be in a rush tomorrow, we are already 90% packed. I’ve enjoyed my trip and look forward to being home… at least I’m looking forward to it after we’ve completely unpacked!

Being near water

I meet my uncle on Zoom every Monday morning. We usually start the meeting at 6am on work days but over the summer break we have been meeting at 6:30am, (9:30am for him in Ontario). This morning I was up on time, but on holiday mode I ignored the calendar reminder that popped up without reading it, and so was late, only getting online after a text reminder. We are in a campground and so as not to wake anyone, I headed down to the beach for my conversation.

Our friends are up here, one campsite over, and also wake up early. They saw me and took a few photos.

What a wonderful location to hold a meeting! There are times that I wish I had a job that I could do from anywhere in the world. If I had such a job, I’d do my best to be near water often.

Yesterday I shared this 16 second video on Twitter from the same location, taken at dusk:

I love being near water, be it an ocean, a lake, a river, or even a tiny babbling brook. It seems like a mixed metaphor, but I feel grounded around water. I feel calm and centered. It’s always a good day when I can spend some time near water.

What’s an environment that comforts you?

The 65 percent that makes it happen

I’ve been up for almost an hour and a half. On a regular work day, I would have written this post, meditated, and would be at least half-finished my workout. I’m still lying down with my phone in my hand. I barely have time to write this before heading out to archery (which is good because this is another healthy living goal that I have), But dang, this messes my day up. I’ll need to set a timer for tonight or I’ll forget to meditate. And I don’t know if I’ll have time to work out.

Before imbedding these habits into my work days, I used to only work out regularly during the holidays and would always stop my good routines during my ‘busy times’… and I seemed to get busy a lot! Now I know that my morning routine prepares me for a good day, and sets me up for success during my busiest of times. Then a get on holidays and my routines all fall apart.

This no longer works for me. I need to update my thinking and my habits and routines on my breaks. Saying this ‘out loud’ is a first step, but follow through is important. If I’m occasionally going to skip a workout, that’s ok. If I’m going to miss a morning workout and think about trying to make it up all day, that’s annoying and not very restful. I’m not on holidays from my healthy living goals, and I don’t want to be.

Knowing this isn’t half the battle, it’s the first 10% of the battle. Committing to a routine is the next 65% of the battle… that’s the real work. And the last 25%? That’s the effort put into the routine, and that’s allowed to fluctuate. Committing the time and getting there, that’s the work that brings the rewards… and lets me start my day in a positive way, whether I’m working or on holidays.