Tag Archives: hardship

The internal conflict of doing hard things

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I don’t want to do it. It’s going to be very hard… it’s going to suck.

I have to do it. I’m going to do everything in my power to be successful… it’s going to suck.

That’s the internal conflict of doing hard things.

The suck in ‘it’s going to suck’ is the part that makes it worth doing.

If it were easier, more enjoyable in the moment, it wouldn’t actually be hard. It also wouldn’t come with as great a sense of accomplishment. It wouldn’t be something as memorable. The internal conflict is real, it might even be necessary. Because if there wasn’t an element of ‘suck’, it wouldn’t be as rewarding. The trick is to embrace the suck, and to understand that it’s one of the hard parts of doing hard things.

That said, do hard things. Not because anyone is watching, not for anyone else but yourself. Recognize that the internal conflict is just part of doing hard things, not a reason to avoid it. And so that challenge you’ve been thinking of doing, or that goal you’ve talked about but haven’t acted on even though you really want to do it… The one that’s going to be hard, that you know will in some way suck getting to the end…

Start it. Do it. And know that the act of doing it is the reward, even though it’s also going to suck.

You don’t know…

Kid is in the office again, bad choices were made.

Behavior was an ‘F’ if given a letter grade.

But you don’t know the struggles, you don’t know the pain.

You can see some challenges, but not comprehend the drain.

How much do the hardships weigh? Not for you to decide.

Because as much as you know, there are limits to what they confide.

What they are actually going through is not what you see.

What’s hidden in the depths is often heaviest, like an iceberg at sea.

So avoid quick judgements, and give the benefit of doubt.

The issue at hand may not be what their story is about.

The troubles at home might be more than most can take.

Burdens so big that many others would break.

They made it to school, that alone was success.

Hard to see through the disruption and mess.

They create chaos, cause concern, and can be a pain.

Their file is thick with incidences, repeat offences again, and again.

But you don’t know the struggles, you don’t know the pain.

You can see some challenges, but not comprehend the drain.

Of a life so much harder than you can comprehend.

A life you would not swap with, or wish upon a friend.

Have some respect for the kid you’d never want to be.

The ones you would not trade lives with, saddled and unfree.

The pain, the unfairness, the hardships, you don’t know.

You don’t know, you don’t know, you don’t know.

Oh, can’t complain

Today on a stroll through a Saturday Farmer’s Market I passed an interesting character. He was on the obese side of heavy, in a motorized wheelchair, in loud checkered pants, and a colourful muscle shirt that revealed his diabetes monitor on his arm. Just as I was passing him, he bumped into someone he knew and I heard his response to her question, “Oh, can’t complain.”

I find it fascinating that people who suffer the most, and need the most, are often the most optimistic and generous. I worked in a school for very high needs students, many of whom came from very needy families, yet their parents were far more likely to donate their time to a shelter or volunteer kitchen than at any other school I’ve ever worked at.

My thought of the day, “Quit yer bitch’in.”

So many people have so much more to worry about and yet they live a life where they ‘can’t complain’… so really, what do we have to complain about?

Life is amazing, there is so much to appreciate, so much to value and cherish. Live, laugh, love, and for your sake more than anyone else’s… stop complaining.