Tag Archives: distractions

Distraction and Focus

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I spent spent 45 minutes on social media. That wasn’t my intent, I have a to-do list that will take me a fair bit of time, and I haven’t don’t my normal daily routines, like writing here, yet. Now that I’m here, I’m focused. I have my headphones on, and my ‘Writing’ playlist playing softly in my ears. I know that I won’t be distracted, and I won’t get up from my laptop until I hit the ‘Publish’ button. I know how to focus, how to stay on a task until it’s done. The issue isn’t the doing, it’s the getting started. Once I’ve started, it will get done (usually) efficiently and (usually) effectively, (I’m far from perfect).

But the world is full of distractions. My phone is probably the biggest one. But so are things like feeding the cat, doing the dishes, television, and tasks that are easier to do than getting started on something bigger. Social media algorithms are designed to keep me engaged, learning from me, and pointing me to things that will keep me scrolling, liking, sharing, and wanting more. I’m not the only one. I love when my wife has to do report cards, suddenly she finds the time to bake, and I get my fill of things like chocolate chip cookies and banana loaf. As a 30 year teacher, I can tell you that she writes amazing report cards that really show that she has put thought into every report… every kid. But before she spends hours on the task, she bakes, cleans, and finds many reasons not get started.

Distractions can be useful, after all the cat does need to be fed and the dishes won’t clean themselves. But distractions can also be a complete waste of time. They can suck time up like a vacuum. A vacuum only sucks what you point it at, and likewise if you point your distractions towards a time-waster, that’s all it takes in. Part of me knows that I work a bit better when I have a deadline, and today I have one with a family commitment in a few hours that will take up the rest of my day. So, after being distracted for 45 minutes, I’m now wondering if I’ll get everything done that I hope to finish. How much less stress would I have placed on myself if I had used that 45 minutes better? Or would I have done the same amount of tasks but simply spread them out to fill the time?

I’ll never get rid of all the distractions I have, but I do think often about how to reduce the ones where I don’t use my time well. I battle with the joy I get from death scrolling on social media, and the thoughts I have about how much better I can use that time. What if I used that time for more writing? What if I spent that time with family and friends? What if I actually started doing archery again? Those are not things I would consider distractions. Those are things I’d like to focus on. Will they give me the same dopamine kick social media gives me? Probably not, but the dopamine spike doesn’t seem like something I should focus on.  That just seems like an empty distraction.

Bad choices

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We all make bad choices. The collective ‘we’ do so in so many categories: Food, exercise, sleep, relationships, procrastination, gaming, social media, alcohol & drugs, even hygiene… Did you know that flossing your teeth can increase life expectancy?

The operative word in ‘bad choice’ is choice. Choice suggests that we have power, we have control, and we can make other choices. That’s easier said than done. It’s easy to skip a workout, to buy a fast food meal, to distract yourself with attention seeking media, and avoid doing something harder, even if it’s better for you.

For me, that’s where my healthy living calendar comes in handy. I can see my progress, and I can see when I’ve made a mistake. I can see the bad habit repeating itself… and I can actually stop it. I’ve missed two daily mediations so far this year. I’ve chosen to take just 2 days off from working out so far (which is still an average of more than 6 days a week). I’ve written every day. I don’t lie to my calendar, and my calendar doesn’t lie to me.

But I have other goals, other good habits that I want to implement, and a few bad habits I want to reduce. I’ve put the dental floss in front of my toothbrush, so I actually have to move it to brush my teeth, but I still don’t floss regularly. I’ve put a mid-week 30 minute time limit on TikTok… my version of watching TV, but I’ll often end up distracted watching similar videos on other platforms. Easy entertainment and also an easy distraction from some of the other things I want to do.

I still make some bad choices. I still distract myself with everything from watching videos to work emails. I still stay up way too late and still get up early to start my routine. I’m writing this late at night, past my bedtime goal. Like I wrote yesterday, the impediment becomes the way. But when I wrote that I made it sound like I had my shit together… I really got the point of the book, and I was living by the quote, “It’s easier to act your way into a new way of thinking, than think your way into a new way of acting.”

However, while it’s easier to act your way, rather than think your way, into doing better things, it’s also easier to embrace the impediment: To live in the status quo and continue to make bad choices. I’m not beating myself up about it, I’m just admitting that it’s hard to change, it’s hard to make good choices when the bad ones are so easy and even attractive. Still, I’m winning a lot of battles. I write every day. I exercise and meditate almost every day. I feel fit, healthy, and even happy. Yeah, I’m still going to make some bad choices, I’m just not going to make really bad choices, and I’m not going to let the bad choices define me. The good things I’m doing are pretty good, and pretty good is a pretty good place to be.

The impediment becomes the way

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I’m re-listening to Gary John Bishop’s book, ‘Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life’, which has a very stoic approach. One quote that speaks to me from the book is from Marcus Aurelius:

“The impediment to action advances action.
What stands in the way becomes the way.”

On a positive note, the obstacles to learning can become the impetus to new learning, like this example from a student at Inquiry Hub… where a roadblock to continuing a project led to new, creative approaches and learning.

But often the impediment or obstacle becomes the block to new learning, or new approaches, or different, better ways of doing things. The impediment becomes the way, it becomes what you do, or rather what you do to avoid change, or worse yet what you use to define yourself. “I can’t” becomes the mantra, the limiting thought that makes not changing, not improving easier than doing what’s best. “I’m too tired, too lazy, too fat, too stubborn, too ‘insert-excuse-here’ to change. You continue to do what you did before, or you try something new, but decide that what you are already doing is either easier or more comfortable than the thing you had hoped to do. What stands in the way becomes the way. Inaction becomes the action.

This reminds me of one of my favourite quotes, attributed to Jerry Sternin, but I read it in ‘Surfing the Edge of Chaos‘.

“It’s easier to act your way into a new way of thinking,
than think your way into a new way of acting.”

We often convince ourselves of things we should not do, we talk ourselves out of trying new things, and we limit ourselves by thinking something is too hard… we think our way out of acting differently. The reality is that we are quite good at that. Our thoughts themselves become the impediment. The trick to overcoming this is to act… to actually start doing regardless of the thinking. Start small. Start really, really small but start to ‘do’ the thing we want to do. We are far more likely to achieve our goals if we act our way into doing them rather than trying to convince ourselves that we can do them.

Our thoughts can impede us, or our actions can push our thoughts forwards so that the thoughts (eventually) follow our actions.

“It’s easier to act your way into a new way of thinking,
than think your way into a new way of acting.”

Otherwise, the impediment to action advances (non) action.  Start small… but start now.

The shiny object

“Highly focused people do not leave their options open. They select their priorities and are comfortable ignoring the rest. If you commit to nothing, you’ll be distracted by everything.” ~ James Clear

I call it squirrel brain with a hat tip to the dog in the animated movie ‘Up!’. He has a collar that allows him to talk, but that doesn’t matter once he sees a squirrel… the distraction is too great.

It’s that scattered sense of paying attention to the closest shiny object, the new distraction, the most recent email, the interruption, the grumble of your tummy. Sometimes it’s a needed break, but most times it’s a distraction. It’s inefficient and ultimately ineffective.

“If you commit to nothing, you’ll be distracted by everything.”

Sometime you need to put blinders on, and intentionally block or reduce the distractions. You need to resist the urge to get the newest distraction done before moving on. The shinier new thing that popped up can wait. The notification can stay unread, and the ‘to do’ list should be just that one thing that needs to be focused on, and nothing else until this one priority is completed.

Focus is not easy to maintain, but productivity soars when focus is given and distractions are left behind. Although sometimes the trick is realizing what really is the distraction. When I used to spend 15 minutes looking for an image to go with my blog post, that was 15 minutes that I wasn’t writing or meditating, or working out. Was the image essential enough to take that much time? Probably not. But at least I did it after writing… unlike today when I broke my writing stride to find the image above of the dog from Up!

I’m definitely a work in progress with my attention and distractions. The trick is to recognize priorities and reduce distractions that detract from those priorities. And like with most advice, this is much easier said than done.