Tag Archives: community

Parents as Partners

This week we had a student IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meeting with a family. It was a meeting that really could not have gone better. It involved both parents and an advocate, myself and three teachers. From start to finish the meeting was focused on one thing: how do we work together to provide the best possible environment for their child/our student to thrive?

When everyone has the same objective, it almost always makes a meeting go well. But sometimes it’s clear that it isn’t just the objectives that are similar but also the approach, and then it’s easy for strategies to be put into place and for everyone to come out of the meeting feeling like we truly are partners working together.

Way back in 2009-10, when I was living in China and working as a principal in a foreign national school, I shared a series in my school newsletters that I called ‘Parents as Partners’. While some of the links I shared no longer work, the messages still hold true.

I started the post saying this:

“I firmly believe that “It takes a community to raise a child” and so without cooperation and communication between a school and their parent community, ‘we’ cannot fully support our children and their learning. That said, I often wonder about how we can more meaningfully engage parents in a way that they want to be engaged.”

You can head to that post to see some of the ideas I shared… and you are welcome to use anything there for yourself, editing as you see fit.

Share less tragedy

We don’t have to feign naivety and pretend something horrible didn’t happen. Sad things happen in the world and we need to understand this. What we don’t need is a constant flow of news and a detailed account of the event pushed on to us, and more importantly pushed onto kids.

This was some professional advice shared with me 14 years ago, after a tragic suicide in our community that was followed shortly after by a school shouting in the US.

  • Refrain from sharing images or video of the incident.
  • If discussions do take place within the classroom, we recommend they be limited to a brief sharing of facts.
  • There will understandably be some anxiety around this incident and staff and students may have some level of emotional impact from the news.
  • Please watch for any changes in behaviour, particularly among vulnerable students, and refer appropriately to your school counsellor as needed.

Children don’t need to see report after report about a tragic incident. It doesn’t have to be the topic of a current events discussion. And nothing needs to be shared about a perpetrator of a horrific crime. Not even the perpetrator’s name. Not at school, not at home.

I could go on, but I’ve share a lot on this already, many years ago:

Care or Fear

Excerpt: We often get results based on the pictures we fill our young impressionable  students’ heads with. Tomorrow, I fear that well-intentioned teachers could stir up thoughts of fear for personal safety in young minds, as concerns about Newtown are discussed. As I said, ‘I’m willing to bet that hundreds of thousands of students that might have felt safe in their school, and would not have questioned their own safety, will now think of that question (Am I safe?) and perhaps be more frightened than if that question did not get discussed.’

And then I followed up with ‘A new tragedy of the commons

Excerpt: The fact is that we know, both through research and from historical evidence, that glorified stories perpetuate the very sadness we are appalled by. But that doesn’t stop a major national magazine, MACLEAN’S, from glorifying a killer on their front cover page. I’ve shared the cover below, but took some creative liberties with a red pen to prevent this very post from doing what I wish others wouldn’t.

When I see a cover page like this, I’m left wondering what we truly value in our society?

It comes down to this: We need to care for those who are concerned, we don’t need to amplify concern. The less we share tragic stories as a community, the more care we are showing for that community.

Keeping the faith

Religions around the world are losing followers. But people are seekers, they want to believe in something. And while there are downsides to religion, including fanaticism and blind following of misguided faith leaders, there is also a warmth of community, a comfort of shared values, and a wonderful sense of belonging.

Atheism and often the path it can lead to nihilism don’t fill the voids a loss of religion can leave behind. And I think that’s why we see blind faith emerging that doesn’t seem to make sense to many.

Why on earth would someone in 2026 join a community of flat earthers who have to literally ignore volumes of data in order to believe what they believe? Maybe because the community is so inviting to anyone who believes?

Why would someone defend unnecessary violence, or even terrorism in the name of God or country? Maybe because they feel othered, or fear being othered. Maybe they feel hurt and seek vengeance? Maybe they feel the government is too heavy-handed or not heavy handed enough?

Why would someone follow a leader who does things they would previously have been upset about? Maybe there is one pillar that leader stands on that supports their beliefs more than any other transgression that leader might be accused of? Maybe they feel community, shared values, and a sense of belonging are all missing in their lives because their waning beliefs in a broken religion can no longer fulfill these needs.

When people can’t seem to hold onto their religious faith, where else do they put their faith?

It seems today that it goes to all the wrong places.

We need a new kind of religion, one that is inherent in most faiths already, but often masked by evangelical fervour, threats of secularism, misinterpreted scripture, literal interpretations of metaphors, among other reasons justifiable by the keepers of the faith. That inherent idea common to all faiths, the somehow lost idea, is that we are all the children of God, and that we should be kind, caring, and even loving to all God’s children.

If that was the underlying premise of ‘our belief systems’ (intentionally plural) then the best thing we could do is to keep the faith. But when religions and more specifically religious people, focus on differences, and when charismatic leaders decide that hate, separation, and false prophecies are the goal, well then our belief systems rise only to crumble.

This is the path we are on, not an increase in atheism, because atheism is not a belief system to swap another religion for. A thing to ‘not believing in’ is not a replacement for a faith. And so what we are seeing is a rise in people looking in all the wrong place to feel safe and then blindly, misguidedly keeping the faith.

Taking for granted

A couple nights ago I flushed the toilet and the fresh water looked a light yellowy-brown. I waited and flushed again, it was the same colour. Then I went to the sink and ran it to discover that it wasn’t just a toilet issue but an issue with the water coming into the house. I called the city emergency line and spoke to someone about what was happening, and he asked for our address. Moments later her confirmed that maintenance crews were working on our waterline in the neighbourhood and they were aware of the situation.

He said that what I was seeing was iron deposits, and that I should wait 30 minutes, because the work wasn’t completed yet, then run water for 20-30 minutes and my water would be clear. And he said not to worry, that the water was still chlorinated and safe. It was late, so I waited until morning to cycle the water and it was clear in seconds.

This made me think about how lucky we are to turn on our taps and just expect clean and safe water. I’ve lived in this house for 27 years, and this is the first concern I’ve had about fresh water… and it was a minor issue that was over almost as fast as it arose. Then I thought of so many things we just take for granted:

  • Reliable electricity
  • Food availability
  • Food safety
  • Good roads
  • Hospitals
  • Safe schools
  • Safe communities
  • Emergency services 

The list goes on and on. We live in one of the best countries in the world. We operate from a position where we just expect things to work… and they do. It’s far from perfect, but it’s a marvel that we can go through life not thinking about the safety and reliability of basic services, only recognizing that we take these things for granted when an anomaly happens. Because for the vast majority of our lives we are blissfully unaware of how lucky we are to have not just basic necessities, but comforts of life that we just expect to be there.

How lucky are we?

Accept and place

I heard this phrase and it really struck a chord with me:

“Accept people as they are, but place them where they belong.”

There are 2 really big ideas here.

First, we are often quick to want people to change, and the disparity between who people are and who we want people to become is often too large of a gap. Step one is accepting people for who they are.

The next step is a bit more challenging. We often spend way too much time on people that are not worth our time. We don’t ‘put people where they belong’. We take amazing people for granted and we focus too much attention on people who aren’t worth our time.

The task sounds simple: accept people for who they are, then place them in your life accordingly.

There are people who would do anything in the world for you. And people who you in turn would do anything for. When that’s the same person, well then you need to prioritize your connection to that person. They deserve a special place in your heart and in your life. They deserve your attention and time. Not the person that cut you off in traffic, not the annoying co-worker, not the friend in need that is never there when you are in need.

“Accept people as they are, but place them where they belong.”

Wise words to live by.

A community of learners

Here are 4 quotes from student self reflections. I saved the most creative on for last. I absolutely love how the kid created a metaphor, but understood that it wasn’t a perfect analogy, so he updated the comparison to make it work. Very clever.

I need reminders like this sometimes to remember what a unique learning environment the teachers have created for our students. It lifts me up to see these kinds of comments in self reflections. It reminds me that we are not just teaching kids, we are fostering a special learning community.

These all come from the ‘Student Self-Assessment of Core Competencies’ section of our recent report card. The first and last ones are from Grade 9’s and the middle two are from a Grade 11 and then a Grade 10. As a bit of background to the first one, we use scrum project management for a lot of group work at our school.

~~~

“The most important thing I have learned this term is with the French Revolution, we learned about the different social estates and how each estate was treated differently and unfairly by their king, which led to the third estate starting a revolution for better rights. With that knowledge, it gives an example of how a good scrum leader should act and how they shouldn’t act, they should be inclusive, fair and treat their group with respect and consider everyone’s opinions, while a bad scrum leader might choose to ignore their group’s input and be controlling over the project.

Some of my favourite things to do at school are the different group projects we have, with the group projects they’re mostly assigned groups so it gives me a chance to get to know my classmates and see who works best with what. When I work really hard at something, I have a better understanding and I will be able to get my work done.”

~~

“This term I am proud of my ability to take in information during lectures and lessons. I find it useful in 20th Century History, and especially Pre-calc 11. The most important thing I have learned this term is the significance in attempting to be passionate in the things you’re learning. To find interest in the things you might find boring. Some of my favourite things to do at school are talking with people and their interests and views.

When I work really hard at something, I feel accomplished and proud that I have the capacity to learn.”

~~~

“This term I am proud of how much I’ve improved in managing my time and finishing my work on schedule. I’ve become more organized and responsible with deadlines, and I’ve learned how to plan my tasks better so I don’t feel rushed at the last minute. I’ve also noticed that I can focus longer and stay “consistent” even when the workload gets heavier. The most important thing I have learned this term is that effort and patience make a big difference. Even when something feels difficult at first, I’ve realized that I can get better if I keep trying and don’t give up too soon. I’ve learned to see mistakes as part of the process instead of something negative, and that mindset has helped me improve both academically and personally. Some of my favourite things to do at school are working on hands-on projects, doing group activities, and learning through discussions instead of just notes or lectures. I enjoy collaborating with classmates, sharing ideas, and finding creative ways to solve problems together. I like lessons that are interactive and allow me to apply what I’ve learned in real ways.

When I work really hard at something, I feel proud and motivated to keep improving. It gives me a sense of accomplishment and shows me that consistent effort pays off. It reminds me that I can do more than I thought if I stay determined and keep pushing myself, even when things get challenging. Next term I would like to try challenging myself more, especially in areas I usually find hard, such as writing and analyzing. I also want to take more initiative in group work, contribute more ideas, and help others when I can. My goal is to keep growing not only in academics but also in teamwork and confidence!”

~~~

“During my first few months of Inquiry Hub, I’ve found that I’m quite proud of how many connections I’ve made already. At my old schools, it was difficult to find any friends, at all. In middle school, I thought I’d found them, but I was actually in a really toxic friendship. I think that was because I just wasn’t around my people. Here at iHub, I’ve found some really good friends, just in the first weeks!

During those weeks, however, I watched the higher grades, and tried to figure out what was going on. They didn’t act like the people I’d known at all. After a little bit, I figured it out:

(iHub) = (Normal School) – (Discrimination)

It’s not just another school, it’s another ecosystem entirely! A place where all predators were locked out, and instead of the ”’prey”’ destroying the environment with overpopulation, they create an actually self-functioning society.”

~~~

Reading comments like these reminds me why I like going to work. They remind me of the awesome students we have and the incredible team of educators who bring the best out of our students. I really love our learning community.

Make the average better

There is a saying that I love, which goes like this:

‘You are the average of the people you spend the most time with.’

I’ve seen it over and over again at school. Take a kid who’s floundering, put them in a friend group that is doing well, and suddenly that kid is also doing well. Inversely, put a smart, good kid in a friend group with kids that don’t care about school, and watch that kid’s marks (and attitude) fall.

Entire classes can be influenced this way and in a small community minded school, we’ve seen how a culture of getting work done and showing pride in caring for our school and our community has been contagious.

Going back to the quote, it’s mathematically impossible that everyone could be the average of the 5 people around them… but there is no doubt that those around you have tremendous influence regarding how you act, and what you value. And the power in the quote is as much about what you do to that average as it is what others do to that average.

Be someone who increases the average. Be someone who finds ways to make the people you surround yourself with better. This simple act will increase the average for everyone and generate a positive feedback loop. After a while, you and your friends will never be just average again.

Will AI undermine social media?

What if AI created media completely changes our online habits? I’ve already noticed that I’m disappointed when I realize a video that caught my attention is not real… That it’s not (for example) a video catching a house cat scaring away a bear from a child, but rather an AI imagined scenario. Right now that’s about 5-10% of me feed, but what happens when that percentage is over 50%?

Am I going to pay as much attention to what I watch and read when I know more than half of my feed is artificially concocted to attract and hold that attention? Will the appeal be there?

I’m already gravitating to podcast conversations, and a smaller communities of people I actually know, as places to get new information from, will my social media stream look the same as it does today? Or will it shrink away from seeking new, but likely artificially created information, to smaller communities that I know are real?

And how will this affect younger generations and their addictions to their phones? Maybe it will just redirect their attention to seeking real connections, but they’ll still do that digitally, not changing habits as much as where their attention goes. But maybe, just maybe, AI infiltration or perhaps I should say infestation, of social media will see us all living a little further away from our screens.

Fun encounters

Got to see a band of grads from my school perform at an event this evening. A couple weeks back my wife and I took her parents to a coffee shop where we ran into a student we both taught in middle school about 20 years ago.

It’s wonderful seeing former students in our community. In fact, that’s my favourite part of living in the community where I’m an educator.

Seeing students grow up outside of school is a wonderful thing.

Community & Friendship

As I head to retirement, I’ve been thinking a bit about community and friendships.

When I think about my friendships I’ve come to the realization that of the friends I keep in contact with regularly, they all date back to my first few years of teaching (25+ years ago) and before (university and high school). It’s a little shocking to realize that I haven’t added very close friends for the second half of my life. I have great friends and am not actively looking for more, but that’s still a surprising thing to recognize.

I have friends I connect with when I go back to Toronto, one friend from university here in BC that I try to see regularly despite our very different lives and schedules, and then my friends I met in my early teaching career. And in thinking about retirement I’m very interested in fostering community among these friends.

When there isn’t a sport or a club that we are all members of, how do we make sure we connect regularly? What do we do to build community. My university buddy and I try to make sure that we have experiences and don’t just meet to reminisce. Another buddy and I do the Coquitlam Crunch weekly and try to work out at least one more time a week together. My wonder is, what else can I do with friends to ensure we build community, and grow together rather than apart?