Writing is my artistic expression. My keyboard is my brush. Words are my medium. My blog is my canvas. And committing to writing daily makes me feel like an artist.
Tomorrow is my youngest daughter’s birthday. As of tomorrow my daughters will be 20 and 22, and I will no longer be the parent of a teenager. It has been incredible to watch these young girls transform into young women. They are still two wonderful kids in my eyes, but they are so mature, and grown up too.
I still remember holding them both in my arms for the first time, watching their first steps, and reading them bedtime stories. It doesn’t seem all that long ago… not all that long ago for me, but an entire lifetime for them.
I’ve been writing a letter to them in my head ever since my first daughter went off to university. Soon I’ll have to get it written down. For now it’s just an idea about first and last experiences. Perhaps I’ll share it here, but only with their permission… I’m writing it for them, they are my audience… my two grown up girls that will forever be my babies. The teen years may be over, but they are my kids and that will never grow old.
This clip is 15 years old now, but still as powerful as when it was made:
It reminds me not just of kids copying bad behaviour, but the fact that they do indeed copy a whole lot of what adults do. Ever see a kid talking on the phone, mimicking their parents, speaking in baby-talk even before they can construct sentences? Ever see kids pretend to go to work? Ever see kids pushing a much-too-big-for-them shopping cart in a grocery store, putting items into it?
Kids copy our behaviour. They copy our good habits, our patterns of speech, and our kindness. And like the video, they copy our biases, our prejudices, and our bad habits. We model the world for our kids.
A funny aside to this is that parents will think to themselves, “I’m going to be a better parent than my own.” They reflect on things their parents did and think of different or better ways to raise their own kids. But this hilarious cartoon describes the end result:
Jokes aside, it matters how good our parents were, and it matters how good we are as parents. Our kids will take from us some good values and lessons that we intentionally give them, but they will also take a multitude of lessons from watching us and learning from us whether we intend them to or not. We are their role models and what children see, children do.
We aren’t talking about ancient history. The last Residential School closed in the 1980’s. Imagine it was your kid that was forcefully removed from you to be taken to a school that abused and/or killed him or her.
“The [Kamloops Indian Residential School] was established in 1890 and in operation until 1969, when it was taken over by the federal government from the Catholic Church to be used as a day school residence. It closed in 1978. The school building still stands today, and is located on the Tk’emlúps te Secwépemc First Nation. In May 2021, the remains of 215 children buried in a mass grave were found at the site.” Wikipedia
There is nothing more to say. Imagine it was your kid that didn’t make it home after being torn away from you. Imagine that it was the government that took your child away from you. Some don’t have to imagine this like you have to. It happened to their kid; to their brothers, sisters, cousins, and friends; to their unknown uncles and aunts.
It happened to families in our community. Their kids are our kids. We mourn their loss. We mourn our loss. If you don’t feel the loss, it’s because you haven’t imagined what it would be like if it was your kid.
