Tag Archives: achievement

The weakest link

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This is just me sharing some uncertainty and self-doubt. I’ve shared that in a couple weeks my buddy Dave and I are attempting a physical challenge of walking up a local hill 37 times in 2 days, which will be the equivalent of the hight of Mount Everest. You can search my blog for ‘Everest the Crunch’ to find out more. I’ve also mentioned that the distance travelled will be as far as 2 full marathons (up hill), and involve over 19 hours of walking over 2 days.

Here is something that I didn’t mention. Dave and I have both decided that if one of us can’t make it, the other person will not continue either. We aren’t doing this as some sort of badge of honour, we are doing this as a challenge… together. It was an idea born out of our finding a way to connect during Covid, and we value the opportunity to spend intentional (and healthy) time with a friend.

In fact, that’s why we also decided to raise money for men’s mental health. We recognize how important this time together has been for us. We also know that men usually don’t get together to have a coffee or even a beer and just chat… they usually need an event, be it a sports game, a barbecue, or a birthday… Or a walk or a hike. The act of doing something together becomes the reason to gather, and thus the opportunity to chat.

Dave and I have found this time invaluable. A fun fact about our walks, very early on we created a rule that we could only talk about work on the way up the hill, no ‘shop talk’ on the way down. So, we’ve had a lot of opportunity to talk about life, family, anything and everything; Time we would not have made if we were just meeting for a coffee, although very often we do meet for a coffee after our walks.

So, on August 21st and 22nd, with the support of family and friends, we will attempt to climb the Coquitlam Crunch 37 times. And we will do it together or we will fail together… and that’s where the idea of the weakest link comes in. So far, the most we’ve done in a day is 10 times up The Crunch. That’s just over 1/4 of what we have to do over 2 days. Today we did 5, and we probably won’t be doing more than 2 or maybe 3 in a day leading up to the challenge. Today felt really good and made me optimistic about our chances for success.

But… but it is clear to me that Dave is fitter than I am. His pace is slightly faster, and during the challenging 457 step segment my heart rate climbs a good 20+ beats a minute more than his. Dave knows I need to go slower than him and is very accommodating. I keep track of my heart rate to ensure that I’m not pushing too hard. But I feel like I’m the weakest link in our journey to 37 climbs. I feel like if WE are not successful it will be because of ME.

Dave is awesome, he would not begrudge me quitting. He knows that like him, I know how to push myself. We see it in each other in the weight room 5-6 times a week. He knows that if I can’t continue, I really can’t continue. I’m not worried about external judgement. I am worried that I’m the one that will let our team down.

Maybe it’s years of competitive sports. Maybe it’s just who I am, but the idea of me being the one that lets a team down is haunting. The idea that I could be the weakest link is painful.

The coach in me says, ‘Give it your all and be proud of what you can do.’

The competitor in me says, ‘Win at all cost, failure is not an option.’

Overall, my confidence is high, but I won’t lie, the idea of being the weakest link is unsettling.

Being tough vs having high expectations

In your schooling you’ve probably had some really tough teachers that gave you no slack or leeway, and some of them you might have liked and others you didn’t. What made them tough and likeable versus tough and unlikable?

I think it comes down to high expectations, consistency, and connection.

• When a teacher has high, but realistic expectations the message is that they believe in you and your capabilities. But this is individualized, not every student can achieve the same thing, but every student knows the difference between a teacher wanting them to do better rather than just expecting results they know they can’t achieve.

• When a teacher is fair and shows consistency, students feel respected. Favouritism undermines morale, and invalidates the integrity of the classroom. High expectations can’t be mixed with greater strictness for some students without them feeling picked on.

• When a teacher connects with students and shows genuine interest in them high expectations becomes an honour not a challenge. Students recognize that the teacher wants them, expects them, to be successful… and believes in them.

Having high expectations, being fair and consistent, and genuinely caring and connecting with students can build a classroom environment where a teacher being strict comes across to students as wanting to get the best out of them, and believing in them. But take any one of these three things away and being strict can seem mean, unfair, or even vindictive.

It’s a pretty special classroom where students are all held to a high standard and they feel like their teacher sincerely wants the best out of all of them… and believes in them.

Measuring success

Pull out a ruler and measure how happy you are. Start a stop watch to measure your success. So many people measure success by their ability to achieve goals, but many of these same people reach their goals only to realize the goal wasn’t enough, they need more:

  • You won a tournament, but you still aren’t world champion.
  • You made your first million, now you need to make 10 million.
  • You a ran a personal best time, what’s the next goal?
  • Target reached? Look ahead to yet another target you haven’t yet achieved.

There’s nothing wrong with trying to be better. Nothing wrong with creating smaller targets on a path to larger targets. It’s good to have goals that push you to be your best. But what happens when you reach a final target? Is there always one more target to add? Is there always one more achievement you haven’t measured up to yet?

Maybe. And that’s ok, because that drive is what makes you so successful. But what does success feel like? Is it a sense of achievement or a sense of never being enough? When you hit a critical target on your journey ‘to’ success does the celebration feel great, or empty?

Who helped you along the way. You did you hurt or lose along the way? How much do these other people matter? How much of your time was focussed on your targets versus the people that helped you reach them? What else did you have to sacrifice?

Is success measured by what you did, or how you feel about it, or how others perceive you? What does success look like and feel like to you? How do you measure success?

How long does it last?

Who else benefited?

Where does happiness or fulfillment fit in? What achievements really matter? And how do you really measure these things?

Take a moment and celebrate where you are right now. Maybe, just maybe, success is reaching a point where you don’t have to do more to feel good? Maybe, just maybe, success is not a destination you haven’t yet reached… because if every measure of success has another target ahead of it, you’ll never feel successful enough. I may or may not know you, but I’m willing to bet you deserve more than that. If you don’t feel successful, maybe you are measuring the wrong things.

University entrance

I find it interesting that universities struggle with retention and dropout rates, yet year after year they seem to focus on the same parameters for entry… namely marks. It gets more and more competitive to get into universities, with higher and higher marks, and these schools hire people whose sole job it is to help kids stay in school after they arrive. Despite having these teams do their thing to retain students, many universities don’t lower their dropout rate.

Maybe marks aren’t the only thing that matter. Maybe students can get straight ‘A’s in high school without ever getting the skills to be successful outside of classrooms that are set up to ensure compliance and following a teacher’s lead through a course.

I know a student who spent hundred of hours doing research projects that far exceeded anything a typical high school student does. I’m talking about computer programming and Artificial Intelligence research that required university level courses to be done on his own time. He applied to some Ivy League schools and didn’t get in. This kid will be successful wherever he goes… some students that will get into these Ivy League schools instead of him will not. Oh, and not only were his marks great, he was in the 98 percentile on his SAT scores.

But it’s the balance of drive, determination, focus, and interest in learning that makes this kid an amazing candidate, not his SAT score and good marks. He’ll get into a great school. He will be extremely successful. He will not drop out after 6 months or a year. But how many students will?

How many students will meet the university requirements, be accepted, and still not make it through their first year? And how is it that universities can’t figure out the data points to choose kids like this over kids with high grades that will really struggle when they leave a sheltered high school experience and head off to university?

As long as universities focus primarily on marks, this will drive high schools to focus on grades. This will drive high school students into classes and programs that are about outputting good grades, not producing intrinsic learners, passionate about learning, and ready to take on all the challenges universities have to offer.

Olympic winners

Today I watched some Olympics after our 7+ hour drive home from Nelson BC. It was as a good way to spend the evening, with low motivation to do much else.

I love watching athletes achieve personal best times in their events. While the cameras focus on the likely medal winners, there are always athletes that, while representing their country as their best in an event, have no chance of getting a medal. If your personal best is several seconds slower than the top 8 or more athletes, chances are you aren’t making the finals, much less the podium. So for these athletes, gold is only a dream, and unlikely a reality. Yet, they’ve made it to the Olympics!

Seeing these athletes achieve personal best times is inspiring. To make it to the Olympics and then do the absolute best you’ve ever done… that’s an outstanding achievement. Many athletes leave the Olympics without a medal, but there will be more winners than medals given out. Making it to the Olympics and doing your absolute best that you can… it’s hard to ask more of an athlete.