Category Archives: Daily-Ink

Coaching brain

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I haven’t been a coach in a long time, but I still feel like my brain wants to go there.

Our hot water tank died this weekend and it’s being replaced tomorrow. But today I decided to go to the local community center for a workout, swim, hot tub, and then shower and shave so I didn’t have to have a freezing shower at home.

My gym workout was probably a total of 45 minutes. There were a couple really fit people in there doing hard workouts. There were also a lot of guys in their late teens or early 20’s working out. They weren’t doing anything wrong or dangerous, but I found myself wanting to coach them.

“You are swinging your body and cheating, using momentum rather than your muscle, lower the weight and go for better technique.”

“Your elbows are flaring out, keep them tucked in.”

“That weight is too light, you’re doing sets of 12 and it looks like you can do 20. Maybe try a bit heavier weight.”

This was my first time in this gym, and of course I didn’t say anything. And the reality is that I might have been doing something where someone else could have given me feedback to improve… I’m in no way an expert. But I really felt like helping out. I just didn’t know how it would be taken, and I’m the newbie that just showed up for the first time.

I guess once a coach, always a coach. Sometimes I just feel the urge to help out, and it’s hard not to.

How gullible are we?

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“… it is entirely possible that future generations will look back, from the vantage point of a more sophisticated theory, and wonder how we could have been so gullible.”

— Closing sentence of Introduction to Quantum Mechanics by David J. Griffiths.

I came across this quote today and it made me wonder just how gullible we are as a species? Not just because we don’t understand quantum mechanics, not just because we don’t understand the gap between Newtonian Physics and Special Relativity, but for so many more simple and less profound reasons.

We fight over imaginary lines we call borders. We spend a considerable amount of our existence working for money… pieces of paper that only have value because we believe it has value, while our governments (we also make up silly rules for) print that money in mass volumes to keep our economies afloat.

We break into tribes based on heritage, relative strength, socioeconomics, and even skin colour. And we spend a tremendous amount of the global economy to create weapons to protect ourselves and also threaten ‘those who are not like us’.

We fight over false Gods. Why do I say false Gods? Because there are literally thousands of them, and even the largest, Christianity, doesn’t agree with who gets into heaven. So the vast majority of believers are believers in the wrong religion or wrong sect. Yet hate, discrimination, and wars are all byproducts of people of faith fighting people of different faiths, very often ‘in the name of their God’.

Human beings are playing the game of life with imaginary boundaries, imaginary political structures, imaginary currencies, and imaginary Gods. We are gullible. We are blinded by unimportant things, and in 100 years humankind will look upon us like we were as backwards as we perceive cultures and societies that did barbaric and stupid things 100’s of years ago.

I don’t ever ‘want to’ see ‘wanna’

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Dear Siri,

I love speech to text. When I’m on the go I want to just speak into my phone and not bother typing. This is such a handy way to get words into a text or email with minimal effort. But this is the age of AI and it’s time to grow up and get a little more intelligent.

I don’t ever ‘want to’ say ‘wanna’.

“I don’t ever wanna see that word as a result of you dictating what I say.” (Like you just did.)

Listen to me Siri, I know my diction isn’t perfect. I know I don’t always enunciate the double ‘t’ in ‘want to’. But after I’ve gone to settings and created a text replacement shortcut from wanna to want to;

After I’ve corrected the text you’ve dictated from wanna to want to hundreds of times… Can you learn this simple request?

Don’t ever assume I want to say wanna!

Please.

So absolutely unique

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I’m listening to some music I enjoy listening to in the background while I write. I have songs on a ‘Writing’ playlist that I’ve heard many, many times. I know the music and it doesn’t interfere with my thought process. The weird thing is, despite hearing these favourite songs of mine hundreds of times, I don’t know the lyrics to any of the songs from start to finish. They really are just a background thing for me.

I think about my use of music in this way as an example of how unique each of our brains are. My daughters would know every lyric by now. My wife would be able to play the piano parts in her mind the way my daughter could replay the lyrics. And even my daughters would appreciate different aspects of the songs from each other.

We actually don’t have a clue what music appreciation really means to another person. We don’t really know how they experience the tone of a note, or for that matter the tone of a colour…. Is my experience of the colour red the same as yours?

What about how we experience pain? Or the way we feel emotions? How unique is my experience of these things compared to yours? How alike are my sense of joy or sadness like yours, or like anyone else’s?

Some of these experiences might be, probably are, similar. But I know my experience of music is drastically different from my family. I know that when some people feel sympathy others feel empathy. For some people going through a similar experience could result in anger, frustration, futility, disappointment, or some other emotion that I would not feel in the same situation. Because my felt experience is not like yours, and yours too is one-of-a-kind.

The great mystery is that we can never truly know another’s felt experience, and they will never know ours. This is it, we each get this one, incomparable, absolutely unique experience. And no one will ever know how ‘this’ experience is experienced.

Take a moment to appreciate your uniqueness, and value the thoughts and lived experience that make you… you!

Smart Voting

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For most of my adult life I have been someone who has pushed the idea that it is our civic duty to vote and have tried to stay non-partisan in that messaging. I’ve voted for three different parties in elections in the last 20 years and so I am not a cardholding member of any party, and can be influenced by policies and principles, be those the principles of the party or the candidate.

The reality that we are in right now in Canada has me choosing to vote ABC, ‘Anyone But Conservative’. But the key here is that I’m choosing the party in my riding that is most likely to beat the Conservatives.

My reasoning for this Smart Voting strategy is simple, the Conservative patry sits on one side of the political spectrum and the other two (or three if you count Green) parties all sit on the other side of the spectrum… competing for the non-conservative vote. The reality is that in the past this split has allowed the Conservatives to get into power.

With the turmoil and instability of US politics, and the wave of conservatism globally, I don’t see a Canadian conservative government under its leader as remotely good in any way for Canada. Polling suggests a Liberal win this year, which under the current leader, Carney, would be great…. As long as it is a majority government that can actually get things done. So this year I would want to vote Liberal (something I haven’t done in a while).

However, I’m going see where the polling is in my riding and vote ABC, because as important as a majority government may be at this time, preventing a Conservative government is more important to me.

It feels weird to be so open about my politics. I truly prefer to be a proponent of civic duty, encouraging people to take advantage of living within a free and open democracy, in a non-partisan way. However, I can’t stay silent when I think that one of our political parties will take us down a path that is undermining the very democratic freedoms and rights I believe in.

So it’s Smart Voting for me. I’ll vote to make sure that the Conservatives don’t get in.

As a side note, I’ve had some interesting conversations with a conservative voter. I don’t believe anything I’ve shared with him is going to change his mind. I’m disappointed, but also respectful of his opinion. Our conversations are civil and respectful, though a little animated. I wish more public political conversations could happen like this. Discourse is healthy, and necessary for a democracy to not just survive, but thrive.

Ask, seek, knock

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I am not religious, but I’ve read a fair bit of the Bible, both Old and New Testament, most of The Bhagavad Gita, a little bit of the Quran, the full Tao Te Ching many times, and I’ve dabbled in a few other scriptures.

Of these I’ve studied the Tao Te Ching the most, and at some point I want to explore this 81 verse text even more. But to me one of the most interesting verses from a religious text comes from the book of Matthew in the New Testament:

Matthew 7:7-8 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”

I think that this is more true than we think… and the challenge of this is in what we actually think. Yes, we all know that person that seems to be charmed, they walk through life like the world is their oyster and good things seem to happen to them all the time. And we also know an Eeyore, someone who seems to walk around with his or her own rain cloud, much like the gloomy character in Winnie the Pooh. In both cases these people seem to get what they want, although those things are drastically different from each other. But most people we know are not as extreme as these two characters.

Yet most of us inherently do spend much of our lives getting what we ask for. The thing we don’t realize is that:

We ask the wrong questions.

We seek the wrong things.

We knock on the wrong doors.

There is a lot of talk about the power of positive thinking, and I believe that the truth in it is that thinking positively allows you to ask the right questions, seek the right goals, and find the right doors to open up for you. Yet we often don’t ask the right questions. Have you ever wondered, “Why does stuff like this happen to me?” Ask and it will be given to you.

So often we want things that we don’t know how to properly ask for. We choose to look in the wrong places for luck, love, happiness, wealth, and success. We shut doors on ourselves, blocking opportunities because we don’t believe we are worthy, successful, capable, or even lucky enough to get through the metaphorical door.

This doesn’t mean we should blindly and blissfully go through life thinking positive and suddenly we will get everything we want. It does mean that we should question how we speak to ourselves, how we internalize the things that happen to and around us. When you think the world conspires against you, conspiracies continue to show up. When we wonder why other people are so lucky, we are unintentionally asking ourselves why we are not lucky? When we are bitter because someone else has an opportunity that we want our jealousy closes us off to finding our own similar opportunities.

It’s not magical. It’s not divine intervention. It’s our ability to open ourselves to opportunities and to see them as such. It’s recognizing how we limit ourselves in what we ask and seek… and allowing ourselves to find the right doors when opportunity knocks.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

Keep it light

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This is a little reminder to myself to not take everything so seriously. I was away Friday and so yesterday was extremely busy as I tried to catch up on things that needed to get done. I then ended up on the phone or in meetings for most of the morning and spent the afternoon just moving from task to task.

At the end of the day I chose to just stay at work until my PAC meeting at 7pm, so I could keep catching up. After deciding to head out for an early dinner, I went to the bathroom and noticed a teacher still working and about to leave. I’ve known her for about 25 years, when we taught together, and now she’s one of my lead teachers.

“Come join me for dinner, my treat!”

It was such a battery charger having dinner and chatting not just about work. She knows me well and could sense my task-oriented stress levels. She reminded me to keep things light, and to enjoy my day. I work with great people, we have awesome students, and we all work hard… but we need to remember that the best way to get work done is to enjoy our time while at work.

On a day when my whole focus was getting caught up, this was an important reminder.

____

Update: Just did my morning meditation about setting intentions: “I set an intention to seek more joy in my day!”

Meditation Journey

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I’ve been struggling to meditate recently. This is a cycle I go though, and I know it’s because I’ve never really and truly gotten into a meditative state. I intellectually understand that this is a journey that I’m on, and it’s the act of returning my attention to my breath or my point of focus that is the path. I understand that I have to be accepting of the journey I’m on, and to be open to the process.

I get it.

But I also don’t.

I still have yet to reach a state where I am not just redirecting my attention. Sure I’m more forgiving of myself while in the process, and I am quicker to return my attention than I was 4 or 5 years ago… but it’s not so much a meditation exercise as it is an attention exercise.

Every meditation session is a chance for my monkey brain to ‘try to’ quiet down for just a few minutes. That’s a positive thing, it’s not that I’m feeling like I’m wasting my time. I just feel like I’m not moving towards a truly meditative state. Maybe this is it for me? This is as quiet as my brain can get. Or maybe I need a retreat where I push myself for longer than a 15 minute guided meditation?

It just gets a little frustrating because it feels more like I’m on a giant learning plateau rather than a learning journey. It feels like I am working ever so slowly on an attention exercise and I really and truly don’t even know what meditation is? In any event, I’ll keep at it.

Consciousness and AI

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I have a theory about consciousness being on a spectrum. That itself isn’t anything new but I think the factors that play into consciousness are: Basic needs, computational ‘processing’, and idleness. Consciousness comes from having more processing time than needed to meet basic needs, along with the inability for processing (early thinking) to be idle, and so for lack of a better word desires are created.

Think of a very simple organism when all of its needs are met. This isn’t a real thought process I’m going to share but rather a meta look at this simple organism: “I have enough heat, light, and food, what should I do with myself?”

  • Seek better food
  • Move closer to the heat or light source
  • Try different food
  • Join another organism that can help me
  • Find efficiencies
  • Find easier ways to move
  • Hunt

At first, these are not conscious decisions, they are only a choice of simple processes. But eventually, the desires grow. Think decisions that start like, “If I store more energy I can survive longer in times of famine.” And evolve to more of a desire not just for survival but for pleasure (for lack of a better word): “I like this food more than other kinds and want more of it.” …All stemming from having idle processing/thinking time.

I don’t know when ‘the lights turn on‘, when an organism moves from running basic decisions of survival to wanting and desiring things, and being conscious? I believe consciousness is on a spectrum and it is idle processing/thinking time that eventually gets an organism to sentience. It’s sort of like the bottom of Maslow’s hierarchy pyramid must be met, (psychological and safety) AND there then needs to be extra, unnecessary processing time, idle time that the processor then uses for what I’m calling desires… interests beyond basic needs.

Our brains are answer-making machines. We ask a question and it answers, whether we want it to or not. If I say what does a purple elephant with yellow polkadots look like? You will inevitably think of what that looks like simply from reading the question. I think that is what happens at a very fundamental level of consciousness. When all needs are met the processors in the brain don’t suddenly stop and sit idle. Instead, the questions arise, “How do I get more food?”, “Where would be better for me to move to?” Eventually all needs are met, but the questions keep coming. At first based on simple desires, but more and more complex over generations and eons of time.

So why did I title this, ‘Consciousness and AI’? I think one of the missing ingredients in developing Artificial General (or Super) intelligence is that we are just giving AI’s tasks to complete and process at faster and faster times, and when the processing of these tasks are completed, the AI sits idle. An AI has no built in desire that an organic organism has to use that idle time to ask questions, to want something beyond completing the ‘basic needs’ tasks it is asked to do.

If we figure out a way to make AI curious, to have it desire to learn more, and to not let itself be idle, at that point it will be a very short path to AI being a lot smarter than us.

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I’m currently listening to Annaka Harris’ audio book ‘LIGHTS ON: How Understanding Consciousness Helps Us Understand the Universe’ on Audible, and that’s inspiring a lot of my thinking. That said, this post is me rehashing an idea that I had back in December 2019, when I wrote, ‘What does in mean to be conscious?’… I go into this idea of idle time further in that post:

“…life requires consciousness, and it starts with the desire to reproduce. From there, consciousness coincidentally builds with an organism’s complexity and boredom, or idle processing time, when brains do not have to worry about basic survival. Our consciousness is created by the number of connections in our brains, and the amount of freedom we have to think beyond our basic survival.”

My conclusions in that post focused more on animal life, but listening to Annaka’s documentary of interviews with scientists I’m realizing that I really do think there is some level of consciousness right down to the simplest life forms. If it’s idle time and desires that bring about sentience, then figuring out how to make AI’s naturally curious will be the path to artificial general intelligence… Because they are already at a place where they have unused processing time, which is continuing to grow exponentially fast.

Phone Presence

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I’m writing this on my phone. My laptop is only 20 feet away from me and I’d definitely write faster on it, yet here I am on the couch tapping away with one finger at about 1/4 the pace of typing on a real keyboard. I could use voice to text but I find that I am not as reflective when I speak rather that type my thoughts. If I was writing more than a few hundred words, I’d probably head to my laptop, but I’ve gotten very used to writing my blog on my phone and will continue to do so most days.

Phones have become an essential part of our environment that we kind of live in as well as on. We’ve developed a sort of autopoiesis – a kind of a living system that allows it to maintain and renew itself by regulating its own composition and maintaining its own boundaries. It’s sort of a symbiotic relationship where we feed the phone with time and energy, and it self-perpetuates by giving us information, connections, entertainment and other functions.

Our phones help dictate how we interact with our environment and how the environment interacts with us. Phones have become ‘our environment’ that pulls us away from being present in the world beyond our phones. Case in point, there is a very high probability that you are choosing to read this on your phone.

I, for one, spend too much time on my phone. I am slowly learning to change that. I’m not checking email into the night, and I actually have all email notifications turned off. I am going to start keeping my phone on the counter instead of in my pocket for periods of time in the evening. And I’m going to continue to keep my phone on ‘Do not Disturb’ for most of the day, with my family and a handful of closest friends having the ability to ping me when it’s on this mode.

If I’m honest, I will still live in my ‘phone environment’ a fair bit, but I want more choice about when and how much time I live in its presence.