Author Archives: David Truss

Good kid, bad choices

Sometimes good kids make bad choices. They do things they shouldn’t, and when they are caught they have to face some consequences. But when they do, it’s a lot easier to work with them, to come to an agreement about how behaviours need to change, when dealing with a good kid. It’s easier to work on what wrongs have to be righted, when you know they are good kids. It’s not hard to deal with good kids when they make bad choices, the bad choices don’t make them a bad kid.

The thing is… all kids are good kids. When you start with the premise that every kid is inherently good, then the important thing becomes dealing with the issue. The focus becomes restitution and not punishment. The discipline becomes logical consequences. The issues and circumstances that led the good kid to make bad choices becomes the thing being dealt with.

Making things right might include the student doing something they don’t want to do. It might include challenging consequences, this isn’t about giving a good kid a break. It’s about seeing the good in someone and asking ‘how can I help this kid see that they are good and help them realize they made a bad choice?’ It’s about making the situation better, then laying the groundwork for the student to make better choices the next time.

Good kid, bad choices. If that’s where the conversation begins, if that’s what you see, then the work done to make things better feels authentic, and is more likely to foster better behaviour in the future… Because you expect good things from good kids, and good kids learn to do good things when they believe they are good.

6 weeks later

I said this in a post, ‘If or When?‘ six weeks and 2 days ago, with respect to Omicron and coronavirus:

I’m afraid my crystal ball gazing conjures no clear images of what’s to come in the short term. What’s my best guess? Businesses and maybe even schools closing from staffing shortages; Tougher restrictions in public (indoor) spaces; and a lot of people self-or-family isolating.

What’s my hope? Less and less hospitalization with more and more mild cases that look like a ‘regular’ flu.

We didn’t have any full school closures in our district but 2 weeks after this post we had a 3-day period where many schools were short staffed and support teachers, and vice principals, were reallocated to help fill the needs. Tighter restrictions didn’t happen. And many people did get mild versions of Omicron although so few of them were tested, because of shortages of tests and long lineups, that I think the number of cases reported was probably underreported by a factor greater than 10.

Now, there are no issues with staffing, and there is an abundance of rapid tests available, and I think things are much better. The only big news here in Canada is a protest against mandates and vaccines that is being held in Ottawa, with smaller versions showing up in other major cities. I’m not going to link to any of the reports because I don’t believe they deserve the attention.

I find it sad how many people are misguided by these protests, and think they are somehow fighting for freedom by blockading people and making others less free? It’s sad how messages of hate and ignorance are part of this convoy. It’s ironic that when we are on the brink of restrictions being lifted, thanks to a vast majority of Canadians doing their part in slowing the pandemic by following the mandates and getting vaccinated, these unvaccinated, anti-mask protesters feel like they are somehow doing something to better the world they live in.

6 weeks after my original post I still haven’t had covid, but I’d say this has been as much about luck as any other reason. Many people around me have been equally as cautious as me and have contracted it. All these people have had versions that are mild, or at least not bad enough to go to the hospital. And I still wonder if for me it’s a question of if or when? But in this 6 weeks I’ve seen things getting much better. I wonder if mask restrictions will continue in schools after March Break? I wonder if there will be crowd restrictions at theatres and sports events, or if restaurants will still require vaccine passports?

Unless another contagious and more deadly strain start spreading, I think we might see a lot less restrictions in the coming months… But it won’t be because of this ‘freedom rally’ that’s happening. On the contrary, it will literally be despite them and their anti-community stance, not doing their part to help reduce the concerns and spread of coronavirus.

Sometimes it will suck

I’m going to have to rush my morning routine because I’ve been writing ideas for my blog and each one of them will require more time than I have this morning to write them. So, I give them a title and shove them into my drafts for another day when I will be up earlier. And then I stared at the blank page, stuck.

On days like this I think of Seth Godin, who has written over 7,000 posts in his daily blog. Something that he wrote sticks with me… no matter how much you write, 50% of your work will be the worst 50%. You can’t escape this fact. So don’t worry about what you write, just write… and so today I’ll accept this post as the bottom half, but I am metaphorically putting pen to paper and I’ll hit ‘Publish’ soon. And maybe tomorrow I’ll put something in the top 50%… or at least the top 50% for now… because after another few thousand posts, who knows where it will rank?

Letting go of the worry of how good my writing is allows me to feel freer, and more open to sharing ideas. There is a time and place to think of just the right words, crafting an idea or even a sentence just the right way. And there are times to start writing and letting the words flow with little thought of how good the writing is. Sometimes suck is far better than stuck.

Blog posts from the past

I have been writing daily since July 2019, but I have had a blog since 2006. Yesterday I had a Facebook memory that was a blog post I wrote in 2010, while on vacation in Vietnam.

The Trap is a post that looks at tourist traps that hook you into buying souvenirs, and then equates this to some of the trappings we find in school like the textbook and resources that become the only thing that is taught. Re-reading my post yesterday, I was brought back in time to my adventures, and it made me think about how enriching travel is. We really expand our horizons and see things from different perspectives when we travel to foreign lands. The post shared a link to an earlier post, Bubble Wrap, that starts off, “After a month in China, I’ve come to realize that North Americans live in a bubble wrapped world,” and looks at how we try to (over) protect kids.

Being exposed to different places and cultures really expands and enriches our perspective. Visiting our writing from years ago allows us to see the influence that these experiences have given us. I miss traveling and feel like there is so much of the world still to explore… and to feed me creative things to write about. I don’t see a lot of travel in my near future, but I think I’ll do a little reflection on some of travel I have done, and revisit some memories that are still present, but slowly starting to fade. I haven’t revisited a lot of my past writing in a while either, so I think I’ll do that too.

No more teens

Tomorrow is my youngest daughter’s birthday. As of tomorrow my daughters will be 20 and 22, and I will no longer be the parent of a teenager. It has been incredible to watch these young girls transform into young women. They are still two wonderful kids in my eyes, but they are so mature, and grown up too.

I still remember holding them both in my arms for the first time, watching their first steps, and reading them bedtime stories. It doesn’t seem all that long ago… not all that long ago for me, but an entire lifetime for them.

I’ve been writing a letter to them in my head ever since my first daughter went off to university. Soon I’ll have to get it written down. For now it’s just an idea about first and last experiences. Perhaps I’ll share it here, but only with their permission… I’m writing it for them, they are my audience… my two grown up girls that will forever be my babies. The teen years may be over, but they are my kids and that will never grow old.

How important is it?

It’s that time of year when students are applying for university, or college, or a technical institute, and the concern about their marks is at the forefront. Suddenly, a difference of 2% could matter. And while some schools want a personal profile, and want to know more than just marks, the marks matter a lot. But I wonder how many straight ‘A’ students head off to university and then drop out during or after their first year? I bet it’s a higher number than you would guess.

How many students have had their grades spoon fed to them with cookie cutter precision, doing exactly what the teachers want, but not learning what it’s like to manage their own time, or direct their own learning, or manage relationships with people outside the safety of their own grade and school?

Universities don’t find out a lot about a student when they determine entrance by small differences in GPA. How important is a 2% difference in grades, when so many other things factor into success? But if you are short 2% and your application doesn’t get looked at, it actually matters a lot.

Relationships can be the same. How important is: communication; money; sex; balance of responsibilities; work/life balance; diet & exercise; or support in a relationship?

If you are running a deficit in any of these areas, then it matters a lot. If you feel you have balance or your needs are being met, these things don’t matter much. If something is unbalanced or missing, then the level of concern increases. A simple example is money. If you have a little less money than you wish you had, you might not go on as expensive a vacation as you hoped for, that’s a minor issue and money isn’t really important. If you can’t pay rent or buy groceries for the week, then money is a major issue.

It doesn’t matter if it’s marks, or money, or any other concern I did or didn’t list, it’s when there is a deficit that these things become important. We often take advantage of the things that are working in our favour, because they aren’t a concern, and worry about the things that we are missing. While this is necessary for us to meet our desires and needs, it can often be at the expense of living a good life.

What is the price paid by a high achieving student who is so marks focused that they don’t enjoy other aspects of their lives so they can get a 96% instead of a 94%? What about a workaholic who is trying to squeeze out a few more thousand dollars by working a 65 hour week?

How important is it to meet the needs you have, and what’s the true price of meeting these needs? I’m sure in some cases the effort or sacrifice is important enough… but other times it really isn’t, and focusing on the deficits might make you lose focus on what’s really important.

A messy desk

I’m not good with paper. I tend to have a desk filled with not-so-neatly piled papers. The piles accumulate and accumulate, then about 2 months after my last desk clean I look for something on my desk and I can’t find it, and that’s my cue that it’s time to clean it up again. Before that point, someone can ask me for something and I instantly find it, even if I have to go down a few layers. But when I have to start searching, not knowing where something is, that is no longer acceptable.

I also write notes on post-its and tend to have anywhere from 6-12 of them on the go at any time. It’s not efficient, and could be a lot more effective. I’ll find a first name and a phone number on a post-it note and have no memory of who the person is, and what I called them about. But, I didn’t throw the post-it away and it’s on my desk two months later.

I remember taking an organization course online that taught a filling system where everything went into a monthly folder. I failed to use this effectively for about 3 months, but the useless folders stayed on my desk for many more months after that… just a constant reminder of my inability to use them effectively.

Starting this coming week I’m going to try something new. I’m going to set two daily alarms, one in the morning and one in the late afternoon. The morning alarm will be to tidy my post-its so that I have a maximum of two post-its on my desk, with one being my ‘To-Do’ list for the day. My afternoon alarm will be to organize any paper that came my way, and get it in a folder or off my desk.

I’m setting a calendar reminder to look back at this post 2 months from now, that should be long enough to see what my desk looks like after after I do the clean-up on Monday.

Favourite question

Inquiry Hub is a school where students need to be self directed. A good portion of a student’s day is determined by the student. On any give school day students can have 1-3 hours where they are deciding what they want to work on. There is always work to be done for courses. There’s always a student chosen inquiry to work on. There’s always a distraction that can pull them away from their work, since they have full access to their laptops and the internet, and access to any other personal device they bring to school.

It’s a subject of a future post, but I’d love to develop a K-12 Inquiry Hub with a vision where it’s a school for every kid. But we get students at grade 9, and if they come to us without self-directed skills, and distractions prevent them from independently working and getting things done during their school day, or if they don’t self advocate when they are stuck, then our school becomes a really challenging place. It becomes a place where a student is always overwhelmed, or catching up on work, and never doing their inquiry projects… which is precisely why they came to our school.

When we interview our applicants (an interview with students and parents), we have a series of questions we ask, which really help us uncover their learning habits, and if they will thrive in our school. One question that we ask near the end doesn’t always tell us a lot about this, but it’s my favourite question. “Tell me about a time when you really had to work hard to accomplish something.” I then elaborate, “You felt a great deal of accomplishment when you were done, but it wasn’t easy.” And, “It doesn’t have to be school related.”

This question is about grit. It digs into a personal story of perseverance. And students often share some really interesting stories. We often learn about an aspect of their lives that we would not have learned otherwise, like the student has their black belt in Karate, or they’ve done 8 years of dance. I also like asking it at the end of the interview, because it finishes the interview with students thinking about something that gave them a good sense of accomplishment.

Last night we did our last scheduled interview, and I’m looking forward to a freer evening schedule, but overall, I really enjoy the process we go through and we end up with some truly amazing kids in our school. Students who thrive and find their tribe.

Cuddle cat

The newest part of my morning routine is that while I sit in our basement, covered in a blanket, writing my morning post, my cat jumps on my lap for a cuddle. Sometimes he naps.

He used to only jump up if we had his brush in our hand, but since the disruption of our house for renovations, he has adopted the habit of coming on our laps even if we don’t have the brush. He stays for all of 5 minutes then he’ll go lie down on his scratching pad, but it’s nice to have our cat jump up and sit on us without having to bribe him with a brush.

His only other cuddle time is early in the morning when he will put his paws on my chest and wake me up. I pet him for a few seconds, then he goes on top of my wife, purrs for a few seconds, then cuddles in on top of her head. I don’t mean next to her head, I mean he full on spoons her head and puts his head on top of hers. He will sleep there for 10-20 minutes.

If my wife is on her back, he will do this on her chest and tuck his head under her chin. But usually she’s on her side and he nests on top of her head.

He never cuddles with me in bed. I get a chuckle out of the fact that he wakes me up just long enough to see him cuddle with my wife. It’s like he’s saying, “Hey you, look what I get to go do.” 🤣

Anyway, this new routine doesn’t slow me down, it just helps my day start off in a great way. Nothing like your pet giving you a little cuddle to start your morning off right.

Tiny little moments

Some days slip bye and when you look back, it’s hard to say what you did to fill them. On those days I try to think of small yet special moments:

A laugh with colleagues.

A good conversation.

A delicious snack.

A kind gesture.

A selfish moment.

A selfless moment.

A single accomplishment.

It doesn’t have to be a big thing, it just has to be something that I can identify that made the day a good day.

When you read quotes about life, you read things like, “Life isn’t measured by the breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.” That sounds beautiful, but how many daily ‘take your breath away’ moments do you really live in your daily life?

No, life’s not just about the breathtakingly special moments… it’s about filling you life with, and appreciating, the tiny little moments that make life worth living.