I wrote a post recently, ‘I’m home’ where I said, “I’ve been retired for over three months and I don’t have a clue what a typical retirement day will look like? …That said, I do need to figure out some good routines. I know myself well enough that if I don’t have routines and systems in place, I can be very unproductive and ultimately unhappy. My extended summer was absolutely wonderful, it also wasn’t sustainable. It’s time to tune back into life at home…”

On LinkedIn Hannah Frostrand commented,

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” and “how will you fill your time when you’re retired?”.

Both feel like riding that miss the essence of flourishing…

I look forward to reading where you curiosity takes you, Dave!

I responded,

Hannah Flostrand ~ I love that you put those two questions together. For years leading up to retirement l’ve joked that I don’t know what I want to do when I grow up… yet, as you describe, that kind of misses the essence of the journey. I think it’s more about what do I want to ‘be’ rather than what I want to ‘do.

I think this might be a future Daily-Ink post:)

This is that post.

It has literally been for years that I’ve said, ‘I don’t know what I want to do when I grow up’. I’ve felt imposters syndrome, wondering how they let this kid run two and even three schools simultaneously, much less one? I’ve watched my hair begin to grey, still feeling like a kid who has stumbled into adulthood., parenthood, and a career with a lot of responsibility. And now I’m retired and I see that looking at my journey this way was making the journey smaller than it was.

I wasn’t a kid doing all of these things, I was (and am) those things. I really was missing the essence of the journey. That said, it’s not some profound difference, I don’t feel jilted for having the perspective I did… rather, seeing it now just allows me to feel freer about where I am now.

I’ve heard that some people struggle with retirement because what they did for work previously gave them meaning that was lost in retirement. I am happy, dare I say proud, with my past accomplishments. Whether I felt like a kid faking it as best as I could or not… I did good. But I don’t measure my worth to what has passed. Rather, I measure it to what I have become. I see the value in appreciation of the journey, to what got me here.

Like I said in my response to Hannah, “I think it’s more about what do I want to ‘be’ rather than what I want to ‘do.”

I want to be a good husband, parent, and friend. I want to be someone who still finds ways to contribute to the world around me. I want to spend time appreciating being present rather than scheduling time outside of a busy and exhausting schedule and being too tired to be present.

Last night I offered to pick my daughter up at the ferry late Sunday night, so that she could stay on the island to watch her cousin do a presentation and still get to school on Monday morning. Then I thought about it and decided that I’d go over to the island myself, take my daughter and her boyfriend out to lunch, watch the presentation with them, then take my daughter home that evening.

If I was working Monday morning, this would sound overwhelmingly exhausting. Now, I’ll do this and still meet my buddy for a 6am workout Monday morning, so he can get to work afterwards. Easy. If I’m tired, I’ll nap on Monday morning.

I get to be present for those around me in a way I never could before… that’s the essence of flourishing… and I like it!