Writing is my artistic expression. My keyboard is my brush. Words are my medium. My blog is my canvas. And committing to writing daily makes me feel like an artist.
We don’t have to feign naivety and pretend something horrible didn’t happen. Sad things happen in the world and we need to understand this. What we don’t need is a constant flow of news and a detailed account of the event pushed on to us, and more importantly pushed onto kids.
This was some professional advice shared with me 14 years ago, after a tragic suicide in our community that was followed shortly after by a school shouting in the US.
Refrain from sharing images or video of the incident.
If discussions do take place within the classroom, we recommend they be limited to a brief sharing of facts.
There will understandably be some anxiety around this incident and staff and students may have some level of emotional impact from the news.
Please watch for any changes in behaviour, particularly among vulnerable students, and refer appropriately to your school counsellor as needed.
Children don’t need to see report after report about a tragic incident. It doesn’t have to be the topic of a current events discussion. And nothing needs to be shared about a perpetrator of a horrific crime. Not even the perpetrator’s name. Not at school, not at home.
I could go on, but I’ve share a lot on this already, many years ago:
Excerpt: We often get results based on the pictures we fill our young impressionable students’ heads with. Tomorrow, I fear that well-intentioned teachers could stir up thoughts of fear for personal safety in young minds, as concerns about Newtown are discussed. As I said, ‘I’m willing to bet that hundreds of thousands of students that might have felt safe in their school, and would not have questioned their own safety, will now think of that question (Am I safe?) and perhaps be more frightened than if that question did not get discussed.’
Excerpt: The fact is that we know, both through research and from historical evidence, that glorified stories perpetuate the very sadness we are appalled by. But that doesn’t stop a major national magazine, MACLEAN’S, from glorifying a killer on their front cover page. I’ve shared the cover below, but took some creative liberties with a red pen to prevent this very post from doing what I wish others wouldn’t.
When I see a cover page like this, I’m left wondering what we truly value in our society?
It comes down to this: We need to care for those who are concerned, we don’t need to amplify concern. The less we share tragic stories as a community, the more care we are showing for that community.
I first saw it as a joke on TikTok, African content creators making comedic posts about sponsoring needy children in America. I got the humour, Americans not being able to afford healthcare is a serious concern. After growing up seeing ‘sponsor a child’ ads on TV I can remember my parents putting a picture of a kid we sponsored, to help feed and educate her, on our fridge… to see this same sort of thing about a kid in America is clever satire.
Today that satire came to life. Sitting in a hotel room, watching an American movie television station with my wife, we saw an ad with a bald little boy being featured. A voiceover of his mom shared how hard it was to have her child diagnosed with cancer. Then the true purpose of this ad came to life, this was an American hospital asking for monthly pledges to change a young kid’s life. This is no longer comedy, it’s pure tragedy. An American hospital is asking for $19 a month to change the life of a young American child.
It’s no longer a comedic bit… This is the reality we live in today.
There have been hundreds of movies made that include schoolyard bullies. Basically they rule the roost and get away with everything until either one brave kid or a band of misfits decide they aren’t going to take it anymore. Then the bully gets what’s due to him and is put in his place. The movie bully always gets served a good dose of justice and everybody feels good about it.
In the grown up world, away from the playground, away from the movie, big screen happy endings, it doesn’t always end up that way.
No, here a corporation can get away with polluting the land, and causing people to get sick for decades. Here, in the real world, hundreds of people can knowingly cause a housing mortgage crisis that bankrupts millions of people and one, just one scapegoat gets some jail time, while the rest got years of bonuses.
And now we have the Prime Minister of Canada being disrespectfully called the 51st Governor, and the renaming of the Gulf of Mexico. We have a man in the most powerful position in the world conducting peace talks with another bully, while simultaneously leaving the victim out of the talks and wrongfully identifying the victim as starting the fight.
I don’t see a movie ending to this. I see a bully getting away with what he wants for about 4 years. Sure there will be pushback, but all bullies do when they are pushed back is double down. No apologies, no remorse, no change in behavior. The world has digressed to schoolyard rules, and is severely lacking in adult supervision.
We aren’t living in a feel good revenge of the nerds style movie, we are living in a Shakespearean tragic comedy. There will be laughs along the way, but when the show comes to an end the outcome for those involved will be very disappointing.
If we want to see the feel good movie ending, it won’t be one hero protagonist saving the day. No it will be the band of brothers all standing up to the schoolyard bully. It will be all the kids in the schoolyard saying, ‘That’s enough!” It will be his own little gang deciding that he’s not worth supporting. It didn’t happen the first time around, maybe it will happen this time… but I’m not betting on it. I’m looking around the school yard and I just don’t see enough kids banding together, and I definitely don’t see enough adult supervision.
It’s tragic when it happens. Most recently in the news it was a bridge in Baltimore. A barge lost power and hit a bridge and it collapsed, killing several workers on the bridge. One minute they are going about their job, and then their lives are over. No warning, no forethought. Living one moment, gone the next.
I was recently on vacation and watched a few sunrises. That time of day is busy for birds on the hunt for fish. There is no glare from the sun, and many small fish are feeding near the shore. Here is a slow motion video of a bird diving for food.
Imagine the life of a small fish. You are among many other fish, feeding and going about your morning, and suddenly, most abruptly, a foreign beast plunges into your world and snatches you up. Seconds later you slide down inside of a bird’s neck and into its stomach where you suffocate before being digested.
No warning, no hint of pending doom. It’s part of the life cycle of many living things. We are fortunate that it is not frequent for us as apex predators. Still, it happens, and it’s totally unfair, even random. A fall from a ladder, a car accident, an allergic reaction, a plane crash, a freak accident.
We are fortunate not to be small fish, with far greater likeliness to come to a tragic, early, unexpected demise, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be thankful for the time we are given, and appreciate the luck we have to live a good life every day that we are given. It can be seen as scary or it can be seen as cathartic… knowing that we can be gone in an instant.
We aren’t talking about ancient history. The last Residential School closed in the 1980’s. Imagine it was your kid that was forcefully removed from you to be taken to a school that abused and/or killed him or her.
“The [Kamloops Indian Residential School] was established in 1890 and in operation until 1969, when it was taken over by the federal government from the Catholic Church to be used as a day school residence. It closed in 1978. The school building still stands today, and is located on the Tk’emlúps te Secwépemc First Nation. In May 2021, the remains of 215 children buried in a mass grave were found at the site.” Wikipedia
There is nothing more to say. Imagine it was your kid that didn’t make it home after being torn away from you. Imagine that it was the government that took your child away from you. Some don’t have to imagine this like you have to. It happened to their kid; to their brothers, sisters, cousins, and friends; to their unknown uncles and aunts.
It happened to families in our community. Their kids are our kids. We mourn their loss. We mourn our loss. If you don’t feel the loss, it’s because you haven’t imagined what it would be like if it was your kid.
