Tag Archives: society

We are getting there

I’m surprised how many people are still choosing not to get vaccinated. Here’s a short video that says a lot:

I think the part that people miss is that at this point it’s a civic duty. Never in our lifetime have we been called to ban together for a common good in the same way, and yet so many people choose to cherry-pick data and find reasons to be fearful. They have their reasons, their justifications, their ‘freedom’.

But we are getting there. First we’ll get everyone who wants a vaccine their vaccine. Then we’ll get them their second dose. Then we’ll see how many millions of people are safe because if it, like the measles and chicken pox vaccines that came before. Then a few of the reluctant will realize that the shot will give them more liberty to travel and to see elderly people they care for, and to receive hugs without masks.

It won’t happen as fast as I would like, but we are moving in the right direction.

Scams and spam

It’s unreal how much spam comes our way. Recorded phone calls and emails that get by our spam filters, trying to get our attention or steal information or money.

Occasionally, I enjoy watching videos of people wasting the time of a scammer. They let them control a virtual and empty computer after 30 minutes of delays, or even fool the scammers and take over their computers. I like the idea of distant scammers doing bad things to good people being punished in some way. Especially since these scammers tend to take advantage of the elderly and vulnerable.

But that’s minimal entertainment compared to the damage they do; the hurt they cause. It seems to me that they undermine trust in a way that is harmful to society. They cause us to act from a standpoint of distrust as a default. They make the world more sceptical.

Email is broken. I get too much of it, and the relevance to my priorities is low. I don’t answer calls unless the number is in my phone or I’m expecting a call. But that doesn’t mean a spam call isn’t still a distraction, a thief of my attention and time. I’m not sure how, but this needs fixing. If not, I only see it getting worse.

Ordering online is too easy

Sometimes it is just too easy to order things online. The draw to impulse buy something is strong. The incentive to buy in bulk, or more items than you need is exaggerated by a pricing scheme that invites buying excess. I needed golf tees to use to put my paper archery targets onto my target block. 25 tees would last a long time, 50 would last well over 2 years, but I got 75 because it was a great deal. It didn’t cost much more to get the extra 25 tees… but that little bit more was still money that I didn’t need to spend.

I don’t golf, and never visit golfing stores, so I don’t know how much I saved, buying from Amazon rather than from a place that has to pay high fees for retail space? I don’t think about the fact that a store like that is good to have in the community, and worth supporting. I also like the idea of not going to a store that I don’t need to right now. Not walking by people in isles, people who seem less interested in social distancing than they do in getting to the items that they are shopping for.

The appeal to just online shop rather than going to retail stores is strong. When the pandemic ends, I suspect online ordering habits won’t. I wonder what this will do to our local economies? If we will end up with less choices, and more ‘big box’ stores that have the draw of meeting many needs, because niche needs are easier to get online? I wonder if there will be a pricing reset for retail space?

I also wonder how much extra junk we are all buying, because more is better, and bulk items are cheaper? We live in a consumer product driven world and online shopping is an easy way to accumulate a lot of stuff we really don’t need.

Having hard conversations

Last night I joined a conversation on Clubhouse that was really challenging.

Because I am writing this before 6am, and don’t plan on writing for a couple hours, I’m going to leave the topic out of my thoughts below.

The conversation was hot and a participant (who was in my opinion immature) created a bit of a mess. I wasn’t planning on speaking but thought I could give some insight to the challenging topic this young man brought up. I said what I wanted to, then I made a tangent point to another argument. This tangent, to be blunt, was uninformed (read as ‘ignorant’ if you like), and it was further misunderstood in a way to undermine everything I said before this error. My fault. My communication was poor.

Then a second crap-storm broke out. I sat silently while other people argued for and against a point I never intended to make. About 15 minutes later the moderator created a space, invited me, back into the conversation.

I was careful to apologize, tried to explain what I was really trying to say. Then again acknowledged that what I said was wrong. I didn’t want my explanation of intent to be perceived as an excuse, so I was happy to end with a second apology.

But others still wanted to talk about the point that was contentious, even though there was a window of opportunity to move on, and the discussion became a convoluted argument. More people misspoke and the conversation was filled with people triggered by the previous speaker. Then some of them got upset with the moderators who where trying their best to keep the conversation polite and respectful.

Hard conversations are hard to have… or they wouldn’t be hard! But we need to learn to have them. We need to understand that learning conversations might involve not just disagreement, but hurt. We need to be willing to set aside egos, and not take things personally, when there isn’t intent to hurt. We need to make conversation spaces places where we can misspeak, where we can apologize, where we can disagree, even in places where topics make us feel uncomfortable.

We need conversations to be safe, and understand that topics won’t always feel safe. This is tricky. This is something some people won’t agree with. But if the conversation can’t go to uncomfortable places, to places that feel uncomfortable, then the learning is hindered. The ability to make mistakes and learn from them disappears. The conversation becomes a ‘safe space‘ but it is no longer a rich learning space. Hurt is no longer something that can be healed, instead it is interpreted as hate. Perspectives become polarized, rather than recognizing how ideas are on a spectrum:

“We want to live, thrive, and love in a pluralistic society. We just need to recognize that in such a society we must be tolerant and accepting of opposing views, unaccepting of hateful and hurtful acts, and smart enough to understand the difference.”

Hurtful words are not always hurtful or hateful acts. Opposing views are not always personal attacks. And opposing views are not ever changed by attacking the person who holds those views. If we let the words, said in error, said in misunderstanding, and even said in ignorance, hurt us, we can not do the work to reach, or help others learn. We do not leave the room for insight or apology. We do not create any space for an opposing view to change.

Instead, we create a space where we can only feel wronged, where there are feelings of injury, and words are said in anger. Conversation gets lost, words get weaponized, and opportunities for learning diminish. If we can’t have conversations about difficult topics, because they don’t feel safe, then what is the alternative? Ignorance? Violence?

Words can hurt. If we hold on to the hurt, if we only see hate, words don’t ever get to heal. While we prevent the potential for hurt by avoiding challenging and charged conversations, we also never get to a place where minds can change… where conversations are hard, but where authentic learning can happen… where dialogue can bring people together, rather than keep people with opposing and different views apart.

Don’t get fooled again

It is wishful thinking to hope that people will not be fooled again by QAnon. This is a sad but true statement. The reality is that people are natural puzzle solvers who seek to make connections. We want to make sense of the world, and this leaves some people vulnerable to suggestions that there are connections that are not really there.

Our brains extrapolate, they naturally extend ideas. This has made us incredibly inventive and creative people. This has not helped us distinguish fact from fiction. This is where extrapolation goes very wrong. I think the problem is that while our brains are seeking to extrapolate and extend ideas, they are stimulated towards possible connections and simultaneously let down our bullshit detectors. Our brains really struggle to seek new connections while at the same time make good judgements about those connections we are seeking.

Have you ever played 2 Truths and a Lie?

Try to pick out my lie:

1. I’ve illegally bungee jumped off of a local bridge.

2. I cheated on, and successfully passed, the LSAT.

3. I stole a neighbour’s car when I was 17, dented the fender, and put it back without him knowing I took it.

Which one did you pick?

I know this doesn’t paint a very nice picture of me. I wanted you to see my dark side. Now before you even pick the lie, you are probably extrapolating things about me and the kind of person I really am. You also probably extrapolated that statement #3 was a truth because it is more believable and more detailed than the other two.

However, here is a strategy I used: I told 3 lies. In one easy step, I could’ve convinced you that 2 lies are true. It’s that easy to convince someone of a lie… or in this case 2 lies.

I’ve never bungee jumped, never wrote the LSAT, and never stolen a car. But had I not told you that, had I picked one as the lie, you probably would have believed the other two. What’s scary is, the more you know me, and the more credibility I have, the easier it is for me to fool you.

Here is an example in the media: This is how people like Tucker Carlson can dupe viewers over and over again. In this article, Fox News lawyers argued in court that Carlson is not ‘stating actual facts’ about the topics he discusses and is instead engaging in ‘exaggeration’ and ‘non-literal commentary.’

They argued this in a libel lawsuit where Carlson was being sued and, “The Court concludes that the statements are rhetorical hyperbole and opinion commentary intended to frame a political debate.” Fox News told the court that this is what Tucker Carlson does, he doesn’t report news… and the judge agreed and they won the case. Think about this! Fox News said Tucker Carlson’s show is not news, but just exaggerated opinion.

However, he is broadcasted on a ‘News’ show, that gives him credibility. To a fan of his: He is in ‘your’ living room with you 5 nights a week. And he feeds you tiny little, often convincing lies… or should I say ‘exaggerated opinions’. Next you go to even less reliable websites and you hear the Tucker Carlson lies being repeated. Other lies are added to the things you know are true because you heard it on Fox ‘News’ from your buddy Tucker Carlson, and you extrapolate that these must be true too.

That’s right Dave is a car thief, oh and he cheated on the LSAT’s, and I seem to recall that he illegally jumped off a bridge too… The other interesting thing about our memory is that we don’t often remember what the lie was and we can easily put the lie in with the other ‘truths’.

Some people eventually catch on.

Many others will get fooled again. It’s sad but true.

—- —- —- —-

I’ve shared this before:

The 30 Minutes at the end of this video is about QAnon

It really is worth watching this 1/2 hour clip.

Living in the Matrix

I’m re-watching the Matrix 20 minutes a day. I hop on my exercise bike and start watching where I left off the day before. There is a lot to enjoy in this cult classic film. I forgot about the metaphor of the human race as a virus rather than a mammal. When you look at the way we spread, destroying our host (world), it’s a brilliant comparison.

But the moment I love most is the choice Neo has to take the red or blue pill. Discover the truth and never be able to return, or return to ‘normal life’ oblivious to even having made the choice… go back and live in the matrix.

How many of us spend time stuck in the matrix? Wake up, go to work, come home, eat, watch entertainment on tv or our phones, go to sleep, wake up… repeat. I remember a friend telling me about his life after high school. He got a good job in a factory and him and two buddies would work, go home, have an early dinner, go to his friend’s house, get high, and just hang out. Weekends were just longer times of being high. He did this for almost 5 years before going to university and he describes these as his ‘wasted years’. No new life experiences, no memories to cherish, nothing but a blur of wasted time.

I remember when the kids were young and my wife and I were working full time. A month would go by where all we did was work and ‘feed and water’ the kids. We were coping, we were managing our lives, we weren’t ‘living’. It wasn’t always like that, we have some wonderful memories from that time, but we certainly had periods in the early years of having two kids where that was our reality.

I wonder how many people are living in that kind of world right now? The ‘wasted months’ or ‘wasted years’. Going through the daily motions of surviving and coping, but not really living. Consumed by the rat race. Here is a brilliant short movie Happiness, that shares exactly what I’m trying to describe about existing, but not really living, in the matrix.

They do not know

Children do not know they lack the wisdom of age.

An adult does not know when more information and knowledge has ceased to provide more wisdom.

When blind privilege provides an advantage it does not know that this advantage has been bestowed.

When ignorance is spoken it does not know that it is spoken while lacking relevant information.

Anger does not know how it clouds rational thought.

Hate does not know how to foster love or forgiveness.

A biased person does know their subjectivity lacks objectivity.

An irrational person does not know that their judgments are clouded.

The delusional does not know their view of the world is altered.

The hypocrite does not know their words do not meet their own standards or revered beliefs.

The fool does not know when they are being fooled.

To tell a child that they they are too young to understand; To tell an adult they are not wise enough to understand; To tell the blindly privileged that they are privileged; To tell the angry or hateful not to be angry or hateful; To tell the biased, irrational, or delusional of their faulty perspectives; to call a hypocrite a hypocrite, or a fool a fool… These are vain and futile attempts to share what you know with someone that does not know.

To be noble in principle, thoughtfully persuasive, and influential in a way that can be heard is no easy task. Knowing when you can be convincing and when efforts are futile is not always clear. To believe that you can change a fixed mind is a fool’s errand, but to give up on a fixed mindset that can be changed is a lost opportunity to have meaningful influence.

Related post: Ideas on a Spectrum

A global community

One love, one heart 
Let’s get together and feel all right. ~ Bob Marley

I used to think that we would reach a time in my lifetime where we could all be seen first and foremost as citizens of the world. That people would eventually be able to get a global passport and travel with a universal identity as global citizens. It was naive, but I thought it would happen.

With the rise of social media, I thought we were getting closer. I saw how social media extended the reach of individuals to find others of similar minds and interests. The internet extended our reach and our ability to understand others, whether they thought like us or not.

But while understanding our differences can help us see that we really are more alike than we think, differences in core values separate us further. Religions divide us more than anything else. That’s ironic and sad. Faith in a higher being sectionalizes humanity into narrow groupings that undermine our ability to focus on the well-being of our global community.

What would it take to go beyond the divisiveness of religious dogmatism?

What would help us see that as a species we have more to gain from being cooperative rather than confrontational?

What could bring us all together as a global community of citizens that care for our species and our world?

I fear that people will try with tyranny before they try with love.

Connecting digitally

I had a chat with a friend a couple days ago and he said, “I’m just looking forward to joining you in a pub for some chicken wings and beers.”

I was thinking of this last night when I reflected on our friendship over the last 30+ years. We’ve actually had conversations before where we said, ‘The next time we get together, we actually need to do something besides sit and have a drink together.’

It’s a small thing but it puts what we are going through in perspective. We are social beings and we want to connect in any way that we can right now.

I had a dinner meeting last night. We all left our different work locations, independently picked up food, went to our own homes, and turned on Zoom to be together digitally for the meeting. We played a game of Kahoot to start, and then we went through the agenda. No, it wasn’t as good as being together, but it was still good. It was wonderful to ‘see’ people that I haven’t seen in a while. There were a few laughs, and it was definitely worthwhile to plan it as a dinner meeting, even if we were sitting separately in different houses.

This is a time when we need to stay connected while respectfully staying apart. And this isn’t just a 2020 thing… we will be doing this very well into 2021 if not starting this way in 2022 as well. That’s a long time to be socially isolated. But if this happened 20 years ago we would not be able to stream a video meeting with over 30 people sharing video. We would only have been able to share voices.

Now it’s easy to connect both ‘face-to-face’ while also keeping your distance via digital tools. The easiest of which is your phone. Last night I had a FaceTime conversation with my daughter. It was our longest chat since she last come to see us. Interestingly enough, I think it was as long of a conversation as I had with her while she was here.

I don’t know why, but the lyrics from Billy Joel’s song Piano Man just came to mind, “We are sharing a drink called loneliness, which is better than drinking alone.” I guess we are substituting physically connecting with digitally connecting, and while it’s not the same as meeting in person, it is better than being even more isolated.

We don’t need to feel alone, if we make the effort to connect… from a distance.

Empty Words

I responded to a post on LinkedIn by Arun Jee, on the topic of “Justice is no less challenging to teach in the classroom” by saying:

“The worst form of injustice is pretended justice.” ~Plato
The world I see today has many people using the word justice… but in defence of unjust ideas.

This is the crazy world we live in.

People talk about defending their freedoms by doing things that undermine the communities they live in… the very communities that offer those freedoms!

No, enforcing a mask policy isn’t an infringement of your rights, it’s preventing a lockdown that will reduce your freedoms while we take care of our community.

No, stricter gun laws in the US are not infringing on your constitutional amendment rights, but they will reduce easy, dangerous, and deadly weapons access to unfit people that are likely to harm your community.

No, your flat earth or QAnon conspiracies based on pseudoscience and fake facts are not counter-arguments to actual science, and don’t get equal footing in an argument.

No, All Lives Matter is not an argument against Black Lives Matter, it’s actually an argument to support the Black Lives Matter movement, “If you truly care about living in an equitable and just world.”

No, right wingers are wrong to think left wing ideals are a path to a socialist controlling government that will strip away your rights. And no, left wingers, being violent against opposing views, because you disagree with them, isn’t a left wing ideal: It’s fascist and authoritarian to block free speech.

No, media outlets you should not be sensationalizing the news by polarizing ideas. You are not reporting news when you do this, you are selling out. You are sacrificing factual reporting for the price of views and clicks. You are not reporting, you are entertaining, angering, and dividing people with bias on the verge of being called propaganda.

Justice, rights, freedoms, and truth are no longer things that have the meaning they intended. They are empty words filled with polarized and rationalized meanings shared by less convincing and less reliable sources. Each ‘side’ believes these words belong to them. But words only have meaning when their definitions are shared.