Tag Archives: routines

Routines vs rut-tines

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Ok, let me start by acknowledging that rut-tine is not a word. It’s a play on the word ‘rut’.

Rut: An uninspired routine or pattern of behavior that one continues unthinkingly or because change is difficult.

Routines are so important. When you routinize a habit the habit becomes easy. There is no need for motivation when your habit has become routine. Case-in-point: I will meditate and exercise as soon as I finish writing this. No effort required, this is my routine and that’s what I do next. Minimal effort required to start the process.

But just like it takes no effort to maintain my healthy habits, routines can serve bad habits just as easily. For example, I generally don’t snack after dinner Sunday to Thursday night. No treats, no beverages, just dinner and then bed without any other food. I developed the habit of not eating after dinner precisely because when I do, it’s almost never a healthy snack. However, I have a weakness for chocolate covered almonds and almost every night for the past couple weeks I’ve taken a handful of these delicious treats after dinner. And this has led me to other more unhealthy snacks as well.

Essentially I fell into a rut-tine, an unintentional routine that is less than ideal. I don’t even realize I’m doing it until I’m sitting on the couch with a handful of chocolate almonds or a bowl of chips. But this is a minor thing, I’ll run out of chocolate almonds and I’ll soon return to my disciplined routine of not snacking 5 days a week.

However this got me thinking… What routines and habits of mind do I have that are more rut-tine than routine? How many little mental scripts do I have that I would be better off not having? How have I routinized bad habits that are either mentally or physically unhealthy or unhelpful?

Because it’s easy to stay in a rut once that rut is part of what we do daily. And we need to recognize that we are in a rut or the rut-tine just takes over and we say rutted. We need to identify the difference between a good routine and a rut-tine, and then change the latter into the former.

A rest day

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One of the best parts of getting older is that unlike when I was half my age, I actually listen to my body. Four days ago I did my Norwegian Protocol cardio workout and really pushed hard. I also did a bicep workout. Three days ago I did a hard incline walk with a 34lb weighted vest. Then I did pull-ups and step ups with the vest still on.

Two days ago I did a really challenging leg workout out then had some knee aches through the day. Yesterday I did a light 20 minute stationary bike ride to get the blood flow to my legs and hopefully reduce the lactic acid buildup from the leg workout. Then I did a hard chest workout.

Today I know I need a break. Sure I spread out my workouts and don’t overdo any one area, except maybe going a bit too hard on legs. Sure I have areas like my back or abs that I could focus on today while giving my other muscles a rest. But I can tell I need a rest day… my body is telling me so.

Younger me would have felt guilty taking the day off. Younger me would have pushed through, not realizing that my very healthy knees almost never bother me and maybe a rest day is in order. Younger me would probably have worked out today and dealt with any pain as a result, as if it’s nothing to worry about, until it was too painful to continue.

But not today. Today I rest. It’s a wonderful rest day! And I’ll be back at it tomorrow.

Avoidance is easy

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I’m back in the loop of struggling to write. It makes me truly appreciate the challenges of authors who do this for a living. Sometimes the words flow and it’s like a poetic dance between thought and expression. Words, and even full ideas almost magically appear on the page, leaving me uncertain of where they came from.

Other times I stare at the blank page, or worse, I avoid the blank page. I seek distraction and call it inspiration. I am looking in all the wrong places. I am literally uninspired.

When I feel like this avoidance is easy. The ‘simple’ work of developing an idea into a piece of writing is not simple, it’s hard. Really hard. Avoiding the effort of thought when the thoughts are not coming becomes a losing game. Maybe I’ll look here for ideas, there for motivation, or over here for… yet another distraction even though I don’t want to call it that. And that’s game over. Time not so well wasted.

Avoiding the blank page is easy, but it’s not productive. How many things do we do that are the equivalent of this avoidance? For some it’s avoidance of a hard conversation, for others it’s a big task, for yet others it’s the minutiae that needs to get done but feels monotonous. Some people find solace that different ‘stuff’ gets done when they procrastinate, but does that really result in a positive experience?

How much time do we spend in a state of busyness rather than dealing with business? Avoiding the real task by doing other things, or worse yet doing something that’s merely a distraction. Some things get automated, habits get ritualized, and the work just gets done. But sometimes the struggle is real. The action avoidance becomes the easy task and the work doesn’t become the work, but actually just getting down to work. Because once you start the work gets done.

Consistency is built on the hard days

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I barely slept last night. This doesn’t happen often, but if you search my blog for the word insomnia, you’ll see that periodically I struggle with sleep. This time I question if it wasn’t at least partially initiated by my own perseverating thoughts after I had a rougher than usual nights sleep two nights ago. I felt like this was coming on, and couldn’t shake the thought. Did I unintentionally will a night of almost no sleep into existence or was I just feeling it build in my body? I don’t know.

In my years as an educator, most of my absences have been related to back pain, but this morning after staring at the ceiling as the room brightened, I decided that with the lack of sleep the night before compounding a sleepless night, I would would take the day off. Today I had two long naps. The first one was broken, fighting my monkey-mind and restless body, and the second one longer and much more like real sleep. Tonight I’ll catch up on work, and then intentionally go to sleep a little later than usual… hopefully feeling tired and sleeping through the night.

That’s a long introduction to make a simple point. It would have been easy to skip my workout today. But I didn’t. In fact, I think I would attribute my longer, better nap to getting the feelings of restlessness out of my body. I spent 30 minutes with a weighted vest, on an incline, on my treadmill. It was hard enough that I went slower than I normally do and on less of an incline. I didn’t enjoy it, but I did it. I also did a humorous attempt at a meditation where my internal dialogue was so loud, and so lacking in concentration that squirrel brain would be a complimentary description. But I did it. Now I’m spending too much time rewriting my words here, making me realize I should make dinner before attempting to tackle anything related to work… but I’m writing, and I will do some work catch-up before tomorrow.

All this to say that doing my usual routines today has been challenging. And not very rewarding. But there is one key reward that I’m getting out of this and that’s consistency. I’m continuing my habits despite it not being easy to do today. My body and my brain are not allowing me to be at my best, but I’m not allowing me to use that as an excuse. Actually, two good things happened today. First of all, I did get a few hours of solid sleep that have me on a recovery path after a sleepless night last night. Secondly, I maintained my habits. Because the hardest days are the days that really matter. I didn’t need a break from my habits today, I needed to do them despite how hard they were to do. That’s what make them habits and not just things I like to do.

Mental motivation around maintenance

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Good day or bad day, I work out an average 6 days a week. One day is usually just the 5km loop up the Coquitlam Crunch with a buddy, and the other 5 (or 6) days usually involve weights. I start with 20-30 minutes cardio, 1 day a week doing the Norwegian Protocol. Then I stretch for a few minutes, then I try to work one muscle group to fatigue.

That might look like 3 minutes of leg raises and crunches. A double set of fly and bench press. A tricep or bicep set, pull-ups, or weighted step-ups. But only one of these. So my full workout from cardio to stretching to weights usually takes about 50 minutes if I do 30 of cardio.

It’s not a hard routine, and while I’m working one set of muscles to fatigue, I don’t usually feel all that sore afterwards and it’s easy to work a different set of muscles the next day.

All this to say that I have a good routine, that I mostly enjoy (other than the Norwegian Protocol which kinda sucks every time). I get up, write, meditate, and start my workout. If I write for too long, I listen to a guided meditation while doing my cardio. I almost never miss a work day workout, my gaps tend to be on weekends or holidays.

So the habit is engrained, and I don’t need motivation to do my routine. I wake up and just start my routine, and don’t stop until it’s done. Easy.

What I do struggle with sometimes is how hard I push myself. For the last few days my ‘work one muscle group to fatigue’ sets have not been a push to fatigue. Mentally, I just can’t get myself to that place. Every set I do, I quit when my muscles should be pushed further.

For example, yesterday I was doing bicep curls with a slightly lighter weight than I usually use, and yet I wasn’t able to get many reps in. I would think, ‘I’ve got at least two more reps in me’, I’d do one and just decide that I would stop. Physically I could have done more. And even if I couldn’t, the half rep more trying would have meant that I took the muscle to fatigue. But I quit. I didn’t truly complete the set. I couldn’t mentally get myself to push hard enough.

And of course I beat myself up about it. Especially since I’ve felt like this for a few days. The reality is that it’s damn hard to push to fatigue every day. Especially when I’m not doing this to be a bodybuilder. I’m not on a mission to bulk up. I don’t have a race or a sport I’m training for. I’m just trying to be a bit fitter than I was yesterday.

So I’m at a point now where I’m in maintenance mode. I’m not taking a break, I’m not slacking in my routine, but I’m cruising a bit on my overall effort. And yet, despite recognizing all this, I’m still hard on myself when I can’t push to 100% for just a few minutes in the day.

I believe it would be healthier for me to think of this as a regular cycle of maintenance rather than a failure to push myself. I understand this intellectually. Yet I struggle. I feel like I’m letting myself down. I feel like I’m getting old and forgetting how to push as hard as I could before.

It’s an internal battle that I think I should have figured out by now. Sharing it ‘out loud’ feels a little embarrassing, because it feels like I’m seeking empathy or condolences or a pep talk, but I don’t want or need that. What I need is to be easier on myself as I cycle through this, knowing that the ability to push myself hard will come back.

The challenge is that I fear being easy on myself. I fear that this easing up can become more frequent… That maintainance mode can easily become my default mode. And deep down I want to keep this fear. Because that fear will reduce the amount of time that I spend in maintenance mode, and the fear reminds me that I know how to push myself. I’d rather be upset at myself and strive for improvement, than be more self-forgiving and also more likely to accept mediocrity and maintenance as my default.

It’s time to put on my weighted vest and get on my treadmill, and listen to a guided meditation. I have a routine I have to keep.

The slow road

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In the last 8-10 months I’ve seen some really positive results with my overall fitness. If I think about what I’m doing differently to see these results, there isn’t a lot that’s new. Rather it has been tiny shifts that I’ve made after years of building positive habits.

The journey started in January 2019. If I want to think about the positive results I’ve been seeing lately it stems from that long ago. People tend to want to see really fast results, and then one of two things happen: Either the unrealistic goals go unrealized (it’s probably unlikely you’ll drop 25 pounds in 2 months). Or the target is hit the first time then when the results are not repeated, it becomes disappointing, (you hit the 25 pound target but in another 2 months you only drop 5 more pounds and get discouraged).

Build good habits and consistent results are a natural byproduct. Then small tweaks really make a positive difference. I added 10 minutes to my cardio routine, and started doing the Norwegian Protocol once a week. This has improved my cardio (which I can see in my effort output increasing when I do the protocol). I also added a weighted vest to my incline walks on the treadmill, which I’m sure has helped improve my cardiovascular stamina.

I have also focused more on pushing myself to fatigue when I do weights, because I am trying to be more efficient in the morning since I have 10 less minutes to workout because of my added cardio. So, I’m not adding gym time, I’m just being more effective. Doing cardio, stretching, and training one muscle group really hard still only takes about 45-50 minutes, but that time is focused.

I couldn’t do this with a 2 month goal. If I was worried about instant results, if I had unrealistic ambitions when I started this journey more than 5 years ago, I probably wouldn’t still be doing what I’m doing. Now I’m not saying having goals and targets isn’t good. I know weight or muscle size targets can be fantastic motivators. What I am saying is that being willing to develop good habits shifts those goals to more long term ambitions.

I want to be as healthy as I am now in 20 years. To do that I need to keep improving, knowing full well that my body will not be able to sustain itself in the same way in 2 decades… into my late 70’s. So I’ll keep the small, positive changes going, with a focus on being consistent, and injury free.

Increasing my healthspan, not just my lifespan is my goal. And while improvements will be slow, the slow road is far more likely to get me to the results I desire, rather than creating big targets that are hard to accomplish and then taking psychological hits when I don’t hit my goals. I think too often we seek changes in our bodies that are either too great or too hard to sustain. A long term goal of a positive healthspan keeps me going at a pace and effort that I know I can maintain for a very long time.

Alone time

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I just had a few days with a lot of alone time. I enjoyed it, but was really not focussed on anything I hoped to do. It reminded me of how much I rely on my habits and routines to keep me ‘in check’. I don’t necessarily use free time well, I get distracted and I’m easily entertained.

I never get lonely, and can spend time on my own without being bored or needing company… but I also need goals and tasks or I can just get lost in my own world. A perfect example is today I learned about Ed Witten, and then I spent almost two hours watching videos, most of which explained things beyond my full comprehension, but I was both engaged and lost… and again I was fully entertained.

It’s the power of being an introvert… even when I’m on my own, I never feel alone.

Holidays and routines

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Exercise, writing, meditation, diet… even vitamins… my schedule and routines are completely out of whack, and I’m feeling the struggle. I don’t mind a few days off, but I’ve been off of a regular schedule for over a month now and it’s getting to me. My back is achy, I have less energy, and I’m not sleeping well.

I often talk about this, and I get comments like, ‘Don’t be so hard on yourself.’ But the reality is that it’s not about me beating myself up or not giving myself a break. Rather it’s that I get huge benefits out of maintaining my routines, and I am not as energetic and vital when I let things slip.

Furthermore, when I lose my routines on holidays, I spiral a bit and end up missing things that are well within my ability to schedule. For example, I’ve only meditated twice in the last week, but I’ve definitely had at least 10 if not 20 minutes each day that I could have used to meditate. Also, I’m writing this when I should already be sleeping.

So, once again I’m sharing my complaints, but neither for sympathy nor for comments about not being so hard on myself. Rather I’m sharing because outwardly discussing this, putting it ‘out there’ is a way I hold myself accountable. And so I’m just saying that I need to do better… and tomorrow I’ll make things better.

This is my way of manifesting the behaviours I want for myself. And I’ll feel better both physically and mentally.

The Gaps

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They are the space in between. The gaps that separate knowing from doing.

It’s what allows you to be kind to others, but doesn’t allow you to be kind to yourself.

It’s the awareness of what you should eat and what you actually snack on without thinking.

It’s having great habits in one area of your life and not being able to duplicate them in other areas of your life.

It’s waning motivation when the job is almost done, which delays completion.

It’s getting too little sleep but delaying bedtime with unproductive distractions.

It’s not facing the most urgent thing by keeping busy with less important things.

It’s the gap. Sometimes it’s narrow and easy to cross, and other times it’s an impassable crevice. It’s the creator of guilt, and a point of self loathing, or disappointment.

It’s the yeast that gives rise to procrastination and excuses. It gets baked into your routines. It’s the stale crust that is unappetizing but still edible.

Take small bites.

Tiny steps forward.

Narrow the gap. You aren’t going to get rid of it, but you can reduce its impact. It’s easier to take baby steps than it is to try to leap across a chasm, but once you let the gap become a chasm, it feels like it’s too late. Baby steps, one foot in front of the other, and some gaps will slowly disappear… but more knowing/doing gaps will always appear. If they didn’t, life would probably be pretty boring.

Being vs Doing

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I was listening to a guided meditation, and it mentioned that how we live in the world is more focused on doing rather than being.

This made me think about the multitude of tasks we do on autopilot, and how we aren’t always fully present when we do them. It made me think about my work day and how much of it is spent focused on tasks, and not at all on the experience.

Doing is an external experience focused on productivity and achievement. Being is intrinsic, it emphasizes awareness, mindfulness, and the value of life. Doing is all about chasing goals and getting stuff done, it’s what moves us ahead and lets us make things happen. But being… That’s about soaking in the moment, really living it up, and savoring life’s journey as it happens.

This isn’t an either/or thing, but I feel like we, I feel like I, could benefit from being more… More present, more aware, more in the moment. Whole days can go by where I’m task oriented, focused on what needs to be done, and not aware or appreciative of my experience. It’s really about valuing the life we have as it unfolds, rather than just checking off boxes of tasks and achievements mindlessly.

If we are too busy only doing, are we allowing ourselves the opportunity to value and appreciate this wonderful life we are living? Are we living at all, or just moving from task to task, like mindless robots. I laugh a lot more when I’m being and not just doing. I connect with people more meaningfully. I find joy in the tasks that I do. Being is an awareness that sits above the things we do, and it changes a life of activity for the sake of activity, to one where we can find meaning, and joy, throughout our day, and on days yet to come.