Tag Archives: habits

Alone time

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I just had a few days with a lot of alone time. I enjoyed it, but was really not focussed on anything I hoped to do. It reminded me of how much I rely on my habits and routines to keep me ‘in check’. I don’t necessarily use free time well, I get distracted and I’m easily entertained.

I never get lonely, and can spend time on my own without being bored or needing company… but I also need goals and tasks or I can just get lost in my own world. A perfect example is today I learned about Ed Witten, and then I spent almost two hours watching videos, most of which explained things beyond my full comprehension, but I was both engaged and lost… and again I was fully entertained.

It’s the power of being an introvert… even when I’m on my own, I never feel alone.

Winning is Everything

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We live in an era of participation awards and consolation prizes. Everyone is a winner… except that’s not true. It takes a special kind of attitude, one that requires you to believe that winning is everything, to get you to the headspace of a winner that actually wins more often.

Great athletes are not satisfied with second place, second place is the first loser. Dedicated athletes are pissed off when they are a fraction slower than their personal best time… Next time… I’m going to hit it next time. I’ve got to give more. The thrill of competing isn’t the the only thrill, it’s the path to the greater thrill of winning, of hitting a personal best… of giving everything you’ve got and being rewarded with success.

Sportsmanship is important, but winning is more important. My opponent is pissed off at me? Good. Let them be angry while I am focussed. Let them worry more about hurting me than on scoring. Let them fear what I’m willing to do that they are not. Anger is weakness and all weaknesses are to be exploited. Celebrate in their faces after scoring. Exude confidence. Boast. Win at all costs. Defeat them morally as well as on the scoreboard. Make them loath the thought of going up against you next time.

Some will vilify and hate you. Some will call you arrogant. Some will declare you a cheat, call you a dirty player, and claim you are overrated, overhyped. This will be your fuel, not a reward, winning is your reward, but the naysayers light a fire under you. Proving them wrong is part of what makes victory so sweet.

There is no consolation prize, no celebration for mere participation. No. There is simply the drive to win next time. Hours of practice lie ahead. More than any other competitor is willing to do… because that is what winners do.

Nike “Am I a bad person?”commercial: https://youtu.be/pwLergHG81c

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Update: See my post, Good pushback , for follow up to this post.

Keeping with it

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Habit versus motivation: habits win.

I am lazing around on holiday. There’s nothing outwardly wrong with that, if only I could feel better about it. Yesterday my wife and I did a walk up a big hill in 33° weather (91° for my Fahrenheit friends). It was hard, but rewarding. I was impressed with my wife who had us jogging down the hill, when I would have chosen to walk.

Today it feels hotter, but I procrastinated all morning and now I still haven’t worked out yet and it’s mid afternoon. I have no idea what I’m going to do for a workout, but I know I’m going to work out… it’s just that my motivation in this heat is very low. Our tent is a steam room, too hot to stay in, and I’m sticking to the chair, sweaty, as I write this in the shade.

I have no problem working out regularly at home, it’s a habit. I wake up, start my morning routine, and before going to work I’ve worked out, meditated, and written my blog post. Meanwhile I’ve been here 3 nights, missed one workout, and didn’t blog or meditate until after 9pm 2-out-of-3 nights so far.

It’s simple: Habits are easy, motivation is hard.

I’ll need to figure out some new routines because I’m spending a good part of my holiday thinking about and avoiding things I usually get done before 7am. As for right now, I’m going to do a meditation and push myself to complete a workout despite the heat. I want it to hurt today, to motivate me to not wait until this time tomorrow. In the world of motivation I’ve learned that I prefer the stick to the carrot… the avoidance of pain rather than the promise of reward.

With good habits, I can just avoid the need for motivation altogether.

Distraction versus Inspiration

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Parkinson’s Law states: “work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion”.

My morning write has been like that recently. I’m not writing more so much as I’m procrastinating getting started. Then by the time I get to this point here in my writing, I’m already going to need to rush some of my routine after writing. It’s a procrastination routine that doesn’t work for me and yet I go back to it. I allow myself to be distracted. I permit myself to not look at the blank page and pretend that distraction is actually inspiration.

Distraction is not inspiration. It has appeal, it seems like an attractive path to a new idea, but it is not. No, the quick email check isn’t going to inspire a good idea. Neither will the red notification on my phone app, nor will social media… All distractions.

How often do we do this? How often do we justify our distractions and lack of focus? We also allow ourselves to procrastinate by getting other stuff done that isn’t the task we really should be doing. The ‘To Do’ list gets smaller but the more immediate tasks still sit undone.

Work expands not just to fill the time allotted, but to just beyond that time. Then the pressure builds and suddenly I achieve more in less time than I thought possible. What just happened there? I had a lot of time and I got too little done, then I feel the time crunch and get it done anyway. Rushed, stressed, but done.

This isn’t my regular modus operandi, but rather part of my productivity cycle. Some days I’m flying through tasks feeling like I’m unstoppable. Other times I’m keeping busy, but not necessarily focused on what needs to be done next. But when I do this at work, I’m still getting stuff done. When I’m home, when I’m trying to get inspired to write, I’m actually just distracted. Other things aren’t getting done, nothing is happening except I’m losing time.

Inspiration can come when you don’t expect it. You can take a break and insights can hit you unexpectedly. But intentional distraction is the enemy of creativity, and choosing a distraction is never the seed of inspiration. Creativity does not strike evenly, but it does strike more frequently when avoiding distraction. If you are hiding from the work, creativity will be elusive. Distraction distracts you from inspiration and creativity.

What are you showing up for?

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I wrote this back in April 2022:

We live in a society now where there is so much pressure to do well; to be your best; to shine. It’s not easy. But sometimes the message doesn’t have to be ‘you are awesome’, ‘you have so much potential’, or ‘push yourself’. Sometimes the message of ‘just show up’ is all we need to hear.

  • Don’t plan an hour workout, just show up at the gym.
  • Don’t worry about how much you have to do, just start.
  • Don’t create a huge ‘to do’ list, pick 2-3 things you know you can get done and check those off… even if showing up is one of those things!

It’s easier to act your way into a new way of thinking, than thinking your way into a new way of acting. ~Richard Pascale

Just show up!

In a coffee shop with a friend today we were discussing the value of ‘Just showing up‘, and he asked the very rich question, “What are you showing up for?”

Two things come to mind and they are related:

  • For the habit; and
  • For the accomplishment.

When your attitude is ‘just show up’ you often end up doing more than you expect. A perfect example is exercise. “I don’t feel like working out today” is not showing up! But “I don’t feel like working out today so I’ll just walk on the treadmill for 10 minutes…” This is ‘just showing up’! And if you only do 10 minutes, that’s great! You weren’t feeling up to doing anything and you accomplished a short workout. Fantastic!

But what also might happen is you could finish that 10 minutes and add another 10 minutes because now you’re feeling pretty good about it. You could decide you’re just going to do a walk and then you end up doing a run. You could finish the 10 minutes and then do 15 or 20 minutes of stretching that you wouldn’t have done had you not got on the treadmill in the first place.

So instead of not showing up and skipping the workout you have both maintained the habit and you’ve also accomplished something to feel good about.

What are you showing up for? Consistency: Habit reinforced; Accomplishment achieved.

The Gaps

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They are the space in between. The gaps that separate knowing from doing.

It’s what allows you to be kind to others, but doesn’t allow you to be kind to yourself.

It’s the awareness of what you should eat and what you actually snack on without thinking.

It’s having great habits in one area of your life and not being able to duplicate them in other areas of your life.

It’s waning motivation when the job is almost done, which delays completion.

It’s getting too little sleep but delaying bedtime with unproductive distractions.

It’s not facing the most urgent thing by keeping busy with less important things.

It’s the gap. Sometimes it’s narrow and easy to cross, and other times it’s an impassable crevice. It’s the creator of guilt, and a point of self loathing, or disappointment.

It’s the yeast that gives rise to procrastination and excuses. It gets baked into your routines. It’s the stale crust that is unappetizing but still edible.

Take small bites.

Tiny steps forward.

Narrow the gap. You aren’t going to get rid of it, but you can reduce its impact. It’s easier to take baby steps than it is to try to leap across a chasm, but once you let the gap become a chasm, it feels like it’s too late. Baby steps, one foot in front of the other, and some gaps will slowly disappear… but more knowing/doing gaps will always appear. If they didn’t, life would probably be pretty boring.

Blank Canvas

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It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve created something, there are times the blank canvas or the blank page is an exciting thing to look at, and other times when it is the scariest.

It amazes me how writing daily can be a fully inspiring experience: Today I get to create something novel, to share my view of the world!

And writing daily can also be overwhelmingly challenging: Start an idea… delete. Start another idea… delete. ‘Why do I even bother?’

I know the answer. If I don’t bother, I won’t write… at all. I’ll have great intentions, but intentions without commitment leads to inaction. Skip a day, and I create an excuse to skip another day. And another. And another.

Daily-Ink. Weekly-Ink. Occasional-Ink. Think-but-no-Ink.

The commitment involves hard days and easy days. Like I’ve said in reference to regular exercise, it’s the hard days that matter most. It’s easy to work out when you want to. It’s easy to write when the ideas flow. It’s the days when it’s challenging, when energy levels are low, or inspiration is lacking, that make the habit worthwhile. Because without persevering on the tough days, the tough days become excused days… and then the excuses keep coming.

The days when the blank canvas is daunting are the days when practicing your art are most important. The problem with ‘waiting for inspiration‘ is that waiting is not creating. Waiting is not really doing anything.

The days when the blank canvas is daunting are the days when you decide if you are a creator or a wanna-be creator: An artist, a poet, an athlete, a writer, or a procrastinator. The blank canvas holds a world of potential. But potential stays latent without effort. Either potential is developed or it is wasted.

Never walk away from a blank canvas. Create, don’t wait. Start, don’t postpone. Inspiration is created through action, and the longer you wait, the more ominous the blank canvas becomes.

Breaking Bland

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I don’t know what I’ll be doing today after work, but it won’t be what I’ve done the past couple days. For two days now I’ve come home, sat on the couch, and only really got up to eat leftovers and go back to the couch… and then to bed.

It’s easy. It’s lazy. It’s unproductive. And ultimately it’s unsatisfying.

It’s ok to do for a couple days, but I can’t let myself just default to this daily. Sometimes it takes intention to change. It takes awareness and also effort. A plan helps too, but honestly I don’t have one right now. That will have to change before I get home. If it doesn’t change I’ll probably choose the bland option of doing nothing much again.

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Breaking Bland

Breaking a bland routine is to thrive, to feel alive, rather than satisfactorily survive.

It doesn’t need to be profound, exciting, or fun. It just needs to be an evening where I don’t get home from work and think, “I’m done!”

A walk, a talk, a task with a goal will do. A chore or ‘to do’ list item will suffice too. Perhaps a recipe with flavours that are new. A book, a podcast, a meditation, a conversation with you.

The experience need not be perfect, this I understand. I just want to choose something that is more than bland.

I blew my streak

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I started Wordle with a perfect attempt, but it was a cheat. My daughter was trying to solve one and I looked at the 3 attempts she had and declared that I knew the answer. She said, “Don’t tell me”, so I went to the puzzle and tried the answer, and it was right. What I didn’t know was that when I started to play a while later that this first attempt would show up in my game history. So while I have one correct first-guess attempt on my stats, it’s not real.

What was real until today was that I was just days away from a year-long streak… and I blew it!

I lost today after a 361 day streak:

I share my Wordle daily in a couple WhatsApp chats, one with my Mom, sisters, nieces and nephew, and one with a couple friends in Toronto. I have one friend that I share other puzzles with and we occasionally share Wordle, but usually other games. I don’t share on social media, and so for some people this sad post will be the first indication of my chronic habit of playing this puzzle.

Tomorrow I’ll start a new streak. I have a weekday morning ritual: Wordle, Daily-Ink blog post, meditation, 20 minute cardio, stretch, and then a quick workout of at least on body part before showering for work. I go off script on weekends, but still start with Wordle. It’s fun, it gets my brain going, and it connects me to family and friends on WhatsApp.

But I’m quite disappointed this morning that I didn’t get to a full year streak. Hopefully I’ll share better news one year from tomorrow! #Optimism

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Spoiler alert, here is my failed attempt for Wordle #1,037 (click here to see it).

Time limits

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I’ve written quite a bit about creating good habits and using time well. It’s a focus of mine because I find my work day gets absorbed in a whirlwind of busyness and interruptions, and I get home after a long day, exhausted. So using time well matters, and there is always room for improvement.

But time has limits. Time is limited.

These are a few things I’d like to do if I had the time:

  • Podcast – I really enjoy listening to podcasts, and I also enjoy making them. But my last one was almost 4 years ago, and I find editing them time consuming and they are a lot of work for one person.
  • School visits – I would love to travel to innovate schools and learn about them.
  • Connecting- I’d love to spend more time with friends.
  • Video editing – I have a personal video project I’m doing for students at my school and a fun video project I’m doing with my uncle and they both require a fair bit of editing time.
  • Writing – I have 3 book ideas, but it’s hard for me to get sustained writing time. I’ve considered stopping my Daily-Ink and using this time to write other things, but I don’t consistently spend a lot of time writing these and it’s harder to continue an idea for short bursts daily than to pick daily short topics.
  • Traveling – it’s a big world and I’ve seen very little of it.

I could go on but I think I’ve made my point. It doesn’t matter how efficient I get, I will still wish I had more time to do the things I’m passionate about, the things I’m interested in doing… if only I had the time.

The trick isn’t to try to get everything I want to do done. The trick is to create opportunities to do some of these things, and to commit to them fully and in a way that I enjoy doing them without beating myself up for not doing all of them. It’s about not wasting time being inefficient or lazy, but also not running myself ragged and feeling like I’m rushing through time, not getting enough done.

Yes time is limited. And so it is to be enjoyed and not spent worried about what isn’t done, or what still needs to get done. Time is not just limited, it’s also precious.