Tag Archives: gratitude

Unselfish Giving

Leave a reply

I have a family member who isn’t a doctor but has volunteered to go help doctors provide surgeries in a rural part of a poor country, where the locals can’t afford or don’t have access to some of these lifesaving procedures. It will be a very rewarding experience, but it’s also something that won’t feel like a vacation. It will be challenging, especially during triage when some patients will be turned away. Still, I know that this will be a very rewarding experience for her.

That’s the amazing thing about unselfish giving. The reward is worth the sacrifice. Unselfish giving is innately rewarding. On the other hand selfish giving comes with an expectation of reward: Accolades, attention, recognition, appreciation. These things might also come with unselfish giving, but they aren’t expected. And for an unselfish giver, there is no false modesty in receiving recognition, in fact there might even be embarrassment.

The difference between unselfish and selfish giving is in the external expectations. Selfish giving needs the external reward and unselfish giving only requires internal rewards. Both can get the external rewards, however when the selfish giver doesn’t get them, they feel cheated and less joyful, whereas the unselfish giver can receive no external rewards or attention and be equally if not more joyful for not having to face the unwanted attention.

Ironically whether a kindness is given for selfish or unselfish reasons, a good is still being done. And recognition is probably deserved either way. It’s only when the recognition isn’t received that the true value of giving unselfishly really shows up.

In the end, I believe that unselfish giving is inherently more rewarding, more joyful, and more fulfilling. But motives are not that important as long as good is being done… and so if someone wants praise for doing something good, well, do the unselfish thing and give it to them.

An attitude of gratitude

Leave a reply

Sometimes the universe sends you the message you need to hear. I was listening to my meditation app this morning and it asked me to think of three things I’m grateful for. I thought of family, a friend, and my body. The first two are obvious. I thought of my body because only a year ago I was waking up in agonizing pain every day, and now I’m in such a better place.

The meditation ended suggesting an ‘attitude of gratitude’, and my mind drifted to a Facebook post from my friend and former professor, Al Lauzon. He shared this beautiful post of appreciation, which ended with,

“…I look out the window and see the blue sky and the nakedness of local deciduous trees, I feel an overwhelming emotional response. Despite the challenges we collectively face, the world is both a beautiful and mysterious place and for that I am filled with gratitude. Perhaps take a couple of minutes today and look so that you too might feel the gratitude I do as you take in the beauty and mystery of the place we are privileged to call home.”

It’s easy to forget the beauty of the world, to take for granted the things and the people we should value and appreciate. It’s also easy to frame your thinking around gratitude… to take a minute , or five, to appreciate that we are sentient beings in a vast universe filled mostly with emptiness, and that conscious thought is a rare and beautiful gift. A gift given to only our species for thousands and perhaps millions of light years in every direction.

We are alive, we are on a beautiful planet, with beautiful people. There is a lot around us to appreciate, to enjoy, to delight in. An attitude of gratitude costs nothing, but the rewards are tremendous.

Making gratitude a habit

My wife is a pretty awesome human being. I have so many reasons to feel lucky that she said ‘Yes’ when I proposed to her on a beach in Ucluelet many years ago.

One thing that I often marvel at is how generous she is in showing appreciation to others. She labours and worries about giving just the right gift. And she writes more thank you notes than anyone I’ve ever met.

Me? Not so much. But I’m learning. The hard part is that sometimes I’m a slow learner. I get stuck in between the knowing/doing gap. I know that there is a big difference between being appreciative and showing appreciation, and yet I don’t always show my appreciation and gratitude.

And with that I thank you, dear reader. Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts with you. Thank you for giving me a tiny part of your day. Thank you for the comments and likes on my Daily-Ink social media posts as well as on my blog. And thank you for the in-person comments about reading my blog.

Those small interactions are part of my own personal growth and recognition that these moments of appreciation we share enrich our lives.

Thank you!

Resonance

Strum a guitar near another guitar and the second guitar’s strings start to vibrate.

Jim Rohn says that ‘you are the average of the five friends you hang around with’. This resonates with me. This resonates like the guitar.

Even these words combine to resonate as you read them, some with understanding, some with agreement, some with doubt, some with disagreement… Once read, the words resonate.

What do you do when you come across someone that doesn’t resonate? Do you pluck your own strings harder, louder, so that you drown out the sound the other is creating? Do you try to hear what they resonate with? Do you try to find a way to mutually resonate? Do you leave them be?

We can strive to resonate, or we can choose dissonance. Consensus or conflict. We can create music or noise.

I know that I want to positively resonate with others, but I also find myself seeking dissonance and distance, from those that do not resonate with me. Dissonance when others resonate with hate, and harm others. Distance to showboating, antagonists, and stupidity.

Resonance, dissonance, and distance. There is a time and place for all three… but what I seek, what fills my heart is finding ways to resonate with family, friends, and those that I can assist and support. Seeking resonance fills me with harmony and gratitude, and I’m grateful for all the wonderful people that want to resonate with me.

Post in a tweet about gratitude

Sometimes a tweet can become a post:

Yesterday was a long day at work where I barely got out of my office. Then I ended the day with a frustrating meeting that was supposed to be a Q&A to learn more about ministry changes coming. But the questions left unanswered had me baffled as to why these sweeping changes are happening so quickly?

So before leaving, I sat for a moment and thought, what am I grateful for? I wrote that tweet, and instantly felt better about my day.

Sometimes it just takes a moment of gratitude, or a simple tweet of gratitude, to change your outlook on a day.

Smile with your eyes

There is a huge difference between smiling by simply raising the edges to your mouth, and getting your whole face, or even your whole body involved.

When your expression is positively contagious everyone wins.

The next time you smile, remember to smile with your eyes.

appreciation

Appreciating this moment

We have so much to be thankful for. So much to appreciate. And so much to offer to others.

A smile.

A nod.

A pleasant greeting.

A hand.

A hug.

A patient ear.

We have so much to be grateful for. We are alive, we have a new day ahead of us that is filled with potential.

Yesterday is gone. It lingers only as much as we allow it. It can weigh upon us, or it can lift our spirits. It can take possession of our attitude in positive or negative ways, or it can be released to give us the freedom to enjoy the present.

Tomorrow can be a prison of anxiety and worry, or a reason to be excited; something to look forward to. But tomorrow is best left where it is, other than when making concrete plans.

That leaves us with now. The present is our present, our gift of being alive. It lets us seize possibilities if we allow it. We are so lucky to have this moment, right now… Thank you for sharing your present with me, for taking the time to read these words. Thank you for the good that you do to support others. Thank you for being kind.

I appreciate the moments you have shared with me. What comes next? What will you do with the gift of time that you have? How will you share that time with others? What can you do to seize the present moment? What can you now give that will also give you joy now?