I think the two most noblest of traits are compassion and forgiveness.Compassion because it links us to others in a way that we lose ourselves.Forgiveness because more than any other trait, it can not be fakedand true forgiveness is to see love even in the faults of others.
And in a concluding post I said that I was going to share 7 virtues. I haven’t done that yet, maybe one day I will. The virtues I chose at that time were:
- Love (including Chastity and Loyalty)
- Discipline (including Patience, not just Diligence or Temperance)
- Empathy (including Compassion)
- Integrity (including Honour and Courage)
- Kindness (including Charity),
- Humility
- Forgiveness
I remember intentionally putting Forgiveness last because I wanted to end with the noblest of virtues. I put Forgiveness on this pedestal because I think you can ‘go through the motions’ of the other virtues, but not forgiveness. You can virtue signal, intentionally or unintentionally, with the other virtues and have those virtues develop, but when it comes to forgiveness there simply isn’t an easy way to act it and have it grow. For example, you can do loving things towards someone, and eventually develop a love for that person. You can fake discipline and after a while that practice become disciplined. But if you aren’t truly forgiving, if you have hesitations, then they will be revealed… You can’t fake forgiveness. It doesn’t grow with time. You are either open to it, or you aren’t. You can half love someone, you can’t half forgive someone.
That said, I’ll hold off on discussing other virtues for a future date. Right now I am looking at a world where forgiveness is a lost art. Vengeance is everywhere. People want to say, ‘I told you so’. Social media is all over FAFO. Changing your mind (especially in US politics) isn’t met with compassion, nor forgiveness, but rather finger-waving and anger. The amount of variations of, “Oh sure, you only realize now that it affects your life”, that I’ve heard on social media posts is disconcerting. There is no room for forgiveness.
I understand why. Forgiveness is the ultimate virtue and not easy to attain. It requires love, empathy, and kindness. It is an affront to integrity, and the humility shared by those that did harm seldom seems like it’s enough to warrant forgiveness. Forgiveness is hard to fake and even harder to authentically give.
However, forgiveness is the best way to build a stronger bond than was there before. It is a place where real change can happen. The danger is that is also makes the forgiver more vulnerable to be hurt again. It requires trust. That’s what makes it so difficult to give.
Currently, I see a window of opportunity for real change to happen. I see hurt and disillusioned people openly admitting that they made a mistake. But I don’t see compassion. I don’t see forgiveness. I see hurt creating a gulf between the people who seek forgiveness and those who could, but do not forgive. And while I understand the hurt, while I see the fear of forgiving and being hurt again, I also see a golden opportunity being missed. Where there has been a great divide, there can be agreement. Where there has been opposing factions, there can be common ground. Where there has been arguments and yelling, there can be dialogue and discussion.
At this perilous time I have but one question: What if forgiveness prevailed?
