Tag Archives: storytelling

Telephone game

We’ve all played it at some point. I whisper a complex message to you, you pass it on as best as you can. It goes through a group of people and the end result is nothing like the original message.

I have a recipe for Spanish Rice given to me by my mom over the phone. It’s a list of ingredients to put in a frying pan, with almost no measurements. “A big squeeze” of a bottle, “just a little bit” of another item. The only definitive instructions are to bake in a dish at 350° for about 30 minutes, with the water ‘just above the rice’.

I just made it for the first time this year and didn’t put enough water. I salvaged it by adding water in a much bigger dish, but it’s definitely not the best version I’ve made. I’ll make it better next time, because I’ll remember this experience. But both my daughters love this recipe and I’ll need to do a better job of sharing it with them rather than this vague set of instructions that I’ve used for over two decades now.

This makes me marvel at the way knowledge was shared through oral traditions, for thousands of years before written history. It makes sense that stories and metaphors were used to help make the information easier to transfer.

A great example is the three sisters:

“The Three Sisters are the three main agricultural crops of various indigenous people of Central and North America: squash, maize (“corn”), and climbing beans (typically tepary beans or common beans). In a technique known as companion planting, the maize and beans are often planted together in mounds formed by hilling soil around the base of the plants each year; squash is typically planted between the mounds. The cornstalk serves as a trellis for climbing beans, the beans fix nitrogen in their root nodules and stabilize the maize in high winds, and the wide leaves of the squash plant shade the ground, keeping the soil moist and helping prevent the establishment of weeds.” ~ Wikipedia

How many generations did it take to learn of this symbiotic relationship between the 3 plants? And then, how clever to call them ‘sisters’ to help solidify their relationship and easily pass on the information to the next generation.

But I also wonder what knowledge was lost, or passed on inaccurately? What stories live on, like those of a great flood shared by cultures and peoples all over the world; yet have been given different meanings and interpretations that are based on the metaphors and stories of them being transferred poorly, like the telephone game, over centuries and centuries, over an unknown number of generations. For most of human history the telephone game was the main way to transfer knowledge. What was lost along the way?

Epic Tales

I’m watching Foundation on Apple TV. It’s loosely based on Isaac Asimov’s novel series by the same name. It’s about an empire roughly 25,000 years in the future. It has all the components of an epic tale, with power and greed, betrayal, uprising, rebels, assassins, and unlikely heroes.

I am in awe of writers who can come up with tales in imagined worlds like this, The Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Game of Thrones, and other epics that involve intricate world building and cultures or alien life forms. I love when storylines weave together, and when tangential incidents become entire storylines.

The art of telling a grand story that spans generations is one that I truly admire. To be able to build entire worlds, like Philip Pullman did in His Dark Materials series, leaves me in awe. That such worlds can be created in one’s mind… it’s just absolutely incredible.

If you watched Back to the Future as a kid like me, you probably thought we’d have hoverboards instead of skateboards by now. If you also watched the Jetsons, you’d probably have expected robot maids and flying cars. We haven’t progressed as fast as our imaginations, but that’s to be expected.

We have an incredible ability to imagine far more than we are capable of. And as I write this, somewhere in the world a child is being born. He or she won’t be the saviour of the human race, they won’t be a hero that stops the destruction of the universe, but they just might be the next author to capture the imaginations of us all in an epic tale that we couldn’t imagine right now.

Who is an author who has created an epic tale that kept you enthralled?

Old Stories

I was talking to a couple teachers yesterday after school and I was reminded of a funny story. I shared it with them. I was explaining a new assignment and sharing exemplars with my class. “This is what an ‘A’ would look like, and this is what a ‘B’ would look like.”

A student blurred out a silly example, “What if I did _____, would it be a ‘C’?”

I responded, “No, that would be a C-R-A-P.” 

Just as the class broke out laughing, I looked over to movement in my doorway to see a parent I’d never met before waiting to talk to me. The joke was funny, the timing was awful.

I started to write about this 15 minutes ago, and stopped to look back at my blog. Sure enough, I already shared this in a post, A-B-C-R-A-P, almost 4 years ago. The post is actually better than what I was going to share today because it examined criteria, exemplars, and creativity. Today I was just going to share a funny memory.

But seeing that I’d already written about this incident made me think about the stories we tell. How many of us have the same stories that we tell and retell? We have friends that generously listen as we share a story for a 3rd, 4th, 7th, even 15th time. We listen without interjecting, without sharing that we’ve heard it before. We generously listen as someone else hears it for the first time, and we laugh at the appropriate time, and with sincerity.

My wife and her friends sometimes do this cute little thing. If one of them starts a story and it has been told before, the people listening will touch their nose. If someone doesn’t touch their nose then they know it’s new to them and the story continues. If they all touch their noses the person telling the story stops…. No hard feelings, they even have a little laugh about it.

A few of my friends will tell it anyway, even if they know everyone’s heard it, but some stories are just so fun that the rerun can be more enjoyable than the first viewing.

I do wonder though, what are the stories that define us? What are those memories that stick with us and revisit us, and invite themselves in like old friends? Would I even have remembered that silly joke if a parent hadn’t been in the classroom doorway? Or was that necessary to make it a story I’ve shared and reshared?

How has the story changed over time? Does my retelling create a new memory? How much has the memory changed as a result of my resharing? Or, how has it remained the same and been emboldened and reinforced from retrieving it many times?

We are an accumulation of the stories we tell. Old stories shape our view of ourselves, and of our friends. As we get older, we don’t add significantly to the stories we share, we get more selective. Maybe it’s because we have more stories to choose from. Maybe it’s because we get to hold on to moments in our past that would otherwise be lost. And maybe it’s just fun to reminisce and to share fond memories with the people we love.

Tell me a story, and I learn something about you. I get to share in your experience, and we are both richer from the experience.

Movie bias

My wife and I are watching Griselda, a miniseries on Netflix. I don’t usually watch shows like this. However I occasionally watch a series with my wife, and this is one she started a couple weekends ago… and since it’s only 6 episodes, I decided to join her. I don’t tend to like stories that glorify historical villains. To me this is a movie bias that I’m not a fan of.

If you want to create a fictional story like Breaking Bad, that’s fine. But when it’s Capone, Pablo Escobar, or any other real-life criminal, I usually stay away. I am not a fan of glamorizing and even glorifying people who took the lives of others in the quest for money and power. Griselda reminds me why I’m not a big fan of these shows.

If you want to make a fictional villain, that’s fine. But inventing dialogue for real, unpleasant people is a bit much. And there is always the urge to show an appealing perspective that makes the villian likeable before they do awful things.

Another movie bias is that in the movies you are almost always rooting for the rebellion. Dune, Star Wars, Braveheart, Les Misérables, all the way back to Spartacus, the movies are always about the underdog’s rise. This is more understandable, we all love seeing the unlikely hero with little to no chance of success prevail.

But to me glorifying real life villains goes too far. It’s not just that these characters are built up as bigger than life, it also that no matter how they are portrayed, they are always given a stature of someone who accomplished something to be admired.

I’ve openly shared that I think when someone does a heinous act, like a mass shooting, in the media they should only be recognized as ‘an idiot with a gun’. I continued on this topic and said that media coverage of these events is part of the problem. I think movies and series that highlight real-life thugs are the same. They give bad people recognition and fame that they do not deserve.

I’m happy to root for the rebellious underdog any day. I’m a lot less willing to watch shows that highlight the rise and fall of really nasty people whose only causes are greed and power, because the attention we give them are a form of power, and immortalizing their story is ultimately a win for them.

Same memories different stories

An interesting fact about the stories we tell over and over again is that with each telling we change the memory. Some stories change very little, either because we have told it so often we remember the recent telling of it as if it was just yesterday. Others may change little because the memory induces such strong emotions that we feel like we are re-living the experience as we tell it. But other stories change quite a bit.

You might ask a friend or family member the question, “Do you remember the time when…?” They do, and when they share their version, that version partially becomes your version as well. “Was it me or you that noticed it first?” A simple question, and then your friend responds and their answer becomes yours… whether or not their memory was correct.

I’m always fascinated to hear a shared story told by two different people, each filling in gaps for the other, each taking turns correcting the other. What does one person consider important that the other doesn’t? What subtle contradictions are there? What is a core memory for both?

One memory, two slightly different stories… two truths, and no lies, even when the stories don’t match. That’s the interesting thing about our memories, they tell us the truth we remember, they tell us ‘our’ truth. And the reality is that the very next time we tell the same story, that truth might just change a little bit.

The sci-fi try

I don’t usually listen to fictional books during the school year. I usually wait for the breaks, in summer, winter, and March, to pick up a ‘fun’ book. But I started a sci-fi that is about the moon breaking up from a mysterious and sudden catastrophic event. The earth then has roughly 2 years to get as large a community into space before being destroyed by moon debris crashing into earth at a rate that makes earth a fiery hell.

The technical aspects of the book are great. It’s easy to nerd out on the science and to imagine the challenges the survivors must face. The only issue I’m having with the book is that it doesn’t share the loss of life in a compassionate way. The story lacks heart.

It tries, but fails to put loss of life in a way that lets the reader feel grief over the loss. The author is more interested in the science than the humanity. He makes attempts but they aren’t great. Yet the book is still good. I’m only 1/3 of the way through and it will be the Christmas break before I get through it. I’ll let the shortcomings go and enjoy nerding out on the science and the idea of the future of humanity and civilization resting on an ad hoc space colony.

Not all stories need to be perfect to be enjoyable. Sometimes you have to make choices. This book lets me geek out without getting too heavy into the devastation of the entire earth… and I’m just one generation in. From what I understand the story spans a few thousand years. I won’t be putting the story down just because it feels a little clinical in how it deals with death. Because ultimately (so far) it’s a story about survival in desperate times, and under dire circumstances, and I’m hooked on finding out what this dystopian future holds.

I chose a science fiction, not a romance novel, and I’m getting a good dose of both science and fiction. For those interested, the book is Neil Stephenson’s Seveneves.

The silhouette

I was a passenger in a car driving on an overpass downtown, and I saw a silhouette of a person sitting at their computer in front of their window.

A writer of novels completing a best seller.

A manager looking at the day’s accomplishments.

A YouTube watcher waiting for Uber Eats to arrive.

A lonely person FaceTiming mom.

A work from home entrepreneur talking to a mentor or mentee.

A holiday planner booking their next flight.

A silhouette of a person on a computer, alone in a room. 1,000’s of possible stories, each one of them a momentary reality, and then the thought, the moment is gone. Just the silhouette remains.

The supernatural cinema

I find it fascinating how much entertainment is based on the supernatural. Movies and television shows are filled with superpowers, ghosts, magical powers, and talking animals. It’s not good enough for someone just to be evil, they need to be possessed. The wardrobe leads to an alternate world, so does the rabbit hole. A radio active spider, an unusual electrical storm, or even prophecy propel an otherwise normal person into a realm of heroism and chaos that are beyond the norms of every day life.

Even when there are no extra or supernatural powers, there are feats of incredible athleticism and often pure luck that get a protagonist out of dire trouble. Secret agents or regular unsuspecting people faced with impossibly complicated scenarios, saving the country or the world from eminent destruction.

I love when a story feels new. When the formula is a little broken and it’s not just a hero’s journey story being retold with the same, usually happy ending. I hate when the Americanized storytelling ends with a group of people applauding the protagonist, as he or she finds love, or receives a medal, or defeats the alien invasion.

Do we really need a cast audience to tell the movie going audience to clap or to be happy?

I love escaping into a good movie or TV show, but my definition of good has changed a lot. Get rid of the cliche endings, or the hero who finds the perfect solution to every scenario. It’s fine to have supernatural experiences, just don’t rehash old storylines with better effects. Share something I really haven’t seen before… that’s what appeals to me now.

Suggestions for movies and shows that do this would be greatly appreciated.

Getting unstuck

I remember teaching Grade 6/7’s about Nigerian fables. One of them was about a greedy animal during hard times. All the animals had collected food and stored it in a clearing to share, but each night some of the food went missing. To catch the culprit they put tar around the food and the thief got caught in it. The next day after an apology the other animals started trying to pull the animal out. He was extremely stuck and they yanked so hard that they stretched this animal and ripped of its legs.

The fable is about not being greedy, but the title is something like, “How snakes came to be.” I love when the moral is not explicit in the storytelling.

I got thinking about this for a totally different reason, one I’m far more explicit about in my title… the idea of getting unstuck. Sometimes we absolutely have to step out of our current experience in order to see what’s possible beyond where we currently are.

The saying, ‘No matter where you go, there you are,’ has come up a few times recently in conversation. This is only true if you let it happen, if you stay inside of the tiny box you put around yourself. There are people who travel all around the world and they look forward to seeing a Macdonald’s, Burger King, or Starbucks. They look to keep their world the same. But travel can give you so much more than that. There are people who keep friends that aren’t nice to them, who dismiss an entire genre of music, who stick to a plan and never take side adventures. None of these people might see themselves as stuck but they are.

For me personally, I’ve been stuck in pain and/or drowsiness for a couple months and while I’m slowly recovering, I am also stuck in the way my days go. I’m not following any healthy routines to consistently workout or meditate. I can still ride a stationary bicycle without causing any harm to the bulged disc in my neck. Meditation would actually be great right now and I’ve let my daily habit slip.

I’m going through slow (admittedly often dizzy) motions of the day waiting for moments of clarity, but when they come I don’t necessarily take advantage of them. I need to see beyond my current condition. I need to see what I what to accomplish in the future and I need to do things now to support that. I need first to have goals that I want to achieve beyond where I am now, then I need to move towards those goals.

Sometimes it only takes baby steps, sometimes it takes a massive leap. But you don’t get unstuck thinking ‘No matter where you go, there you are’. The issue with this is not about geography, it’s about moving who you are to who you want to be.

Based on a true story

I’ve watched a couple movies recently that were both the telling of a stories that were very influential on a global scale. The movies are Tetris and Air Jordan. These are both so iconic that I don’t need to give further explanation.

Both movies are worth watching. They share the backstory you probably didn’t know about a pivotal contract signing that made these products a worldwide phenomenon.

I’m not that much of a fan of these based-on-true-stories movies, and so it was a pleasant surprise that I enjoyed both of these films. Perhaps it’s the fact that these two movies don’t glorify serial killers or dig into crime scenes, which are the kind of stories that dominate this genre. And so these two movies are uplifting, and I really enjoyed them both.