Writing is my artistic expression. My keyboard is my brush. Words are my medium. My blog is my canvas. And committing to writing daily makes me feel like an artist.
This week I was talking to a grade 9 who wanted to do some research on how students perform on video games depending on the kind of music they listen to. We had students do this in our early years, with a driving simulator done in silence, with classical music and heavy rock. It can be a well done experiment, or it can have way too many variables and not truly measure anything or provide meaningful results. It’s hard to measure only the thing you want to measure.
I recently received my bow back, and today I shot for only the 3rd time in a while. Nothing feels normal and while my scores aren’t awful, they aren’t where they should be. The challenge is that I’m needing to think of too many things and my thoughts get in my way. I need to be patient, make one adjustment, and then shoot several arrows before making another adjustment. I’m splitting my focus. I’m adjusting too many variables and it’s not helping me. And as a result, I’m not feeling like I’m improving.
It will get better, I just need to shoot 1,000 more arrows… that’s been my archery mantra for a while. The challenge is not making too many adjustments at once along the way. If I keep doing that, it’s going to take a lot more arrows to see the improvements I want to see.
Recently I think I’ve been a poor listener. It’s not that I don’t listen, it’s that my listening has been filled with my own interjections and relevant stories. I realized this a few days ago when a colleague was sharing an experience they had on the weekend. I immediately shared a similar experience, then asked more about their’s.
That sounds polite but it isn’t. I didn’t just relate, I stole their thunder. I took away from a moment of someone sharing their experience, so that I could share mine… the story became mine, with theirs being a footnote.
I’ve reflected and realized that I’ve engaged with others like this too often in the past few weeks. I need to listen more in order to listen, not to ‘add to’, not to ‘fix’, not to ‘steal’. Just to listen, ask, encourage, celebrate others, and be present.
For a large number of us the new school year brings excitement and possibilities. There is so much potential in a new school year, so many future opportunities to learn and grow.
It’s just good to remember that this is also a time of great anxiety and nervousness for some students. It’s a time of unknowns, and unfamiliarity, and fear.
It’s easy to get lost in the enthusiasm of students who are excited, and while this is wonderful and fully encouraged… remember that someone hesitant to join in an activity isn’t necessarily being difficult or noncompliant. Sometimes just coming to school is all the effort they can give.
We don’t always know what a kid is capable of, or what a kid needs, until we get to know the kid. And for some kids, it takes a while to get there… time they deserve to be given. A school year is a marathon rather than a sprint. Let’s make sure we give the slow starters the time, encouragement, care, and support they need to get to the finish line. Because it isn’t just getting to the finish line that’s important, it’s the journey there that really matters.
It’s 10:30pm and I feel like I’ve wasted most of the day. I did help my wife with some garage clean-up but we didn’t spend that long on it. I did have a wonderful dinner with my daughter, but then I came home and fell asleep on the couch. I started writing this and realized that I forgot to hit publish on yesterday’s post. I back dated it, hit ‘Publish’, and now I’m writing this before doing a meditation and a guilt-ridden workout, having not worked out yesterday.
This is the challenge of not having a routine. This is what scares me about the idea of retirement. I often need a schedule to be and feel productive. I can waste away time like it’s nothing and end up feeling like a day has completely escaped me. I didn’t even listen to much of my audiobook that I’m thoroughly enjoying. I didn’t take time to do archery, which I just mentioned enjoying yesterday (although I only published it tonight).
This is not me at my best. I’ve got to be present rather than simply let the present become the past without even realizing it. I’ve got to get active early in the day and set a personal goal or two to accomplish. It can be as simple as listening to my book, or writing this before 10:30pm… it’s not about needing to do anything great, it’s just about make moments of ‘meh’ into moments I value and appreciate. It’s interesting that my only two mentionable moments from today were with my family and my meh momentswhere when I was alone. I usually enjoy times of solitude, but now it’s obvious to me that I have to be more present and focused about how I spend my alone time, rather than wasting it away.
I’m away visiting my parents and had a little getaway planned to meet a buddy and go fishing. Unfortunately one of my uncles passed away from cancer (we knew it was coming), and that changed the plans.
The friend I was meeting replied to my cancellation news saying, “No problem family comes before fishing. Hope we can do it next year if you come down. Talk soon, take care.”
He’s a good enough friend that nothing more needed to be said.
My uncles service, outdoors, at the graveyard, was quaint, and a wonderful tribute to a kind, caring, and unassuming man, who put family above all else. He was given a year and a half to live 3 years ago, and I think it was a relief to both him and the people who cared for him that the suffering that was particularly bad for the last month had ended.
The burial confirmed in my mind that I want to be cremated after I die. I have no desire to hold onto any real estate after I am gone. It sounds crass but I would rather be flushed down the toilet than buried in a plot that takes up space on this planet, when I have no practical use for that space.
I heard once that one of the reasons Disney Land and Disney World check your bag when you enter their theme parks is to check for ashes. People want to have their ashes spread on ‘The happiest place on earth” so frequently that it is an actual concern for them.
We see dead animals all the time. Parts of them are in our freezers, they show up as roadkill, our pets die. When they are gone, it is just their meat and bones that remain, the animal that was ‘is’ no longer around. The same applies to us. It’s funny, I used to think, “Spread my ashes in the ocean… but make sure it’s a warm ocean because I hate the cold.” Now I realize how silly that is. When I’m gone, I’m gone, and what happens to my powdery remains is something I don’t care about.
What I do care about is the life that I have, and people I love, and the things I hope to do before I’m gone.
“Life is a dance. Mindfulness is witnessing that dance.” ~ Amit Ray
Today’s meditation was about meditation as a means to become a witness, and thus using meditation as a way to disconnect and observe rather than experience.
While I understand that meditation can be used to do this in a positive way, I wonder how many people bare witness to their own lives without actually living, not feeling anything? Kids cutting themselves because that’s when the feel the most; zombies moving through life from sleep to work to alcohol and/or television before sleeping again; people bitter about the hand life dealt them, who live in disappointment, numb to everything around them; lonely people, who may or may not actually be alone.
I think too many people are already witnesses to their own lives. I’m not saying meditation isn’t a good way to do this, but I wonder how many people need to do the reverse? I know that there are times in my own life where I’ve felt like I was existing rather than living, the observer rather than participant, but family and friends are good at snapping me out of this.
The unexamined life may not be worth living, but there can also be paralysis by analysis. You can watch a surfer and see all their moves, you can know everything about the wave, it’s energy and flow, but if it’s you on the surfboard, it’s probably best to be enjoying the ride than trying to witness it.
“I tried over a decade ago, now I’m going to do it – a short daily blog.
It’s time…”
I don’t think I’ve missed a day since. It hasn’t always been easy. I sometimes don’t think I have anything worth sharing. But sometimes I write something that just feels right. Other times I just jot down a simple thought and it ends up getting more engagement from readers than I’d ever expect. I know I only have a handful of daily readers, but I have quite a few weekly readers that check out a post or two when it lands in their Twitter, LinkedIn, or Facebook feed.
I am thankful to have people read my writing, but I feel that I do my best writing when I forget my audience. I readily admit that I enjoy getting ‘likes’ and comments, and yet sometimes the simple act of hitting the ‘Publish’ button is all the reward I need.
My blog tag line now reads, “Writing is my artistic expression. My keyboard is my brush. Words are my medium. My blog is my canvas. And committing to writing daily makes me feel like an artist.”
As I state in thepost where I originally wrote this, “The act of writing makes me a better writer. The commitment to this act every single day is itself a reward, making me feel like I’ve accomplished something before I even start my work day.”
Two years of public daily writing is a commitment that I wasn’t sure I could accomplish, and now I wonder how long I will keep going for? For right now, I feel that I have far more reasons to continue than to stop. So this blog will be continued every day until….
At Inquiry Hub students learn the difference between a working portfolio and a presentation portfolio. They don’t get electives in the same way a student in a large high school gets theirs. Instead of a Grade 9 looking at a large catalogue of courses to choose from, students get a couple ‘mandatory electives’… yet they end up with more choice and variety than students in big schools with many elective choices. This is possible because one of the mandatory courses is Foundations of Inquiry, where students get to choose their own topics.
In Foundations of Inquiry, students create a working portfolio. Using OneNote, they share their documentation of work and progress with their teacher. They will include photographs, videos, and journaling, as well as reflections, progress reports, and copies of presentations done as part of the process. These notes are not public, beyond teacher access. In a way, these portfolios are the rough draft of what’s being done.
We also encourage students to publicly share their work. This can include on a blog or website, or a presentation beyond the classroom. It can include contacting mentors and experts and sharing what they have done. And it can include creating videos or doing presentations to family and community at school. These are public opportunities to share their portfolio, and this portfolio is polished and ready for sharing out in the open.
A daily journal like this is sort of a mix between the two kinds of portfolios. Writing every day, I don’t get to share polished work. I have no editors, I am generally sharing my first draft, looked over only by myself, once or twice, before scheduling the post to go live at 7:22am on most mornings… a random time I have selected and stick to on weekdays, when I’m up and writing before 5:30am. Weekends I publish later, and immediately after writing, rather than scheduling.
This is by all means a working portfolio. Some of my ideas are half baked. Some are fleeting thoughts expanded into a handful of sentences. Some are ideas like this where I give a long background before getting to the idea at hand. Some are thoughtful reflections that seem far more thought out than they actually are. And some really aren’t that good, and wouldn’t pass an editor, or even myself if I looked at it two days later.
A journal like my Daily-Ink is a constant work in progress, it is a working portfolio of ideas and thoughts. Yet, it is also very public. When I schedule a post, it automatically goes to RRS feeds, it gets put onto a Facebook page, and it is shared through Twitter and LinkedIn posts. It is put on public display on many fronts for anyone interested to see. It’s a glimpse into my mind, and it shows the rough edges. It is at once a draft and a final copy.
I don’t think many people would be comfortable doing this every day. I have to say that it is a huge commitment, but a rewarding one. Sometimes words flow and I feel an incredible sense of satisfaction. Sometimes I stare at a blank page with no idea what to write, questioning why I do this to myself? But, I wrote this one day and now share it as my blog tag line:
Writing is my artistic expression. My keyboard is my brush. Words are my medium. My blog is my canvas. And committing to writing daily makes me feel like an artist.
As I state in the post, “The act of writing makes me a better writer. The commitment to this act every single day is itself a reward, making me feel like I’ve accomplished something before I even start my work day.”
It’s not perfect, (in fact I found a typo in the quote above that I went back and changed). This is a working portfolio… it just happens to be one that I share publicly.
This is an observation, not me beating myself up. I’ve been on a good healthy living kick and in the best shape I’ve been in years. However today I looked at my healthy living calendar and I had a target weight written on it… I’m not close to it. I haven’t made any gains that I hoped to.
I’ve already realized that I need to reset goals, but now I think I need to just stop making goals beyond my calendar chart. That chart has been something that keeps me ‘on target’, while other goals leave me disappointed when I don’t meet them. There is a lot going on these days, with the school year ending and a visit home planned, and camping holidays booked… and yet I’m exercising 5-6 timed a week; I’m shooting arrows regularly; I’m enjoying writing every day; and I’ve only missed a couple meditations this year. These are mini celebrations that I don’t need to cloud with unmet goals that push me beyond what I’m prepared to do.
I’m getting stronger, I’m looking and feeling good, I’m meeting my targets I’ve places on myself. I don’t need to push, push, push, and add goals that are too much for me… I just needed to say that ‘out loud’ to convince myself.
A few days ago I found a nickel on the ground near the park my wife and I walk. I picked it up and put it in my pocket. I then had to change pockets because it was clinking against my phone, making an annoying sound. I realized then that I don’t tend to walk with change in my pocket very often. At home, I put it in my drawer that I keep my keys in, where I also put loose change. I noticed that I didn’t have any change in there and haven’t for a while. I don’t walk around with coins, I don’t pay for things with cash, and I don’t find lost change nearly as much as I used to in the past.
What I do see that I never used to is lost and dropped masks. They litter the floor like abandoned cigarette butts, easily noticed and equally as unappealing. I don’t want to see them, but I also have no desire to touch them in order to throw them away. Because they are much larger than cigarette butts, they are even more noticeable, and they seem to be everywhere.
Yesterday the grounds crew were cutting the grass and weed whacking around the school and one of them brought in a drone that fell out of a tree. He brought it in and said maybe a student had lost it. But the reality is that it probably belonged to someone in the community and I’ll have no way of knowing who it belongs to or how to get it back to them?
20 years ago lost coins and cigarette butts were items lost and dropped by people. Now it’s drones and masks. What will it be in another 20 years?
