Tag Archives: meditation

Being still

Yesterday I went on a little fishing trip around Alice Lake, just north of Squamish, BC. Spoiler alert, I didn’t catch anything.

Before I began, I did my daily meditation on a log that extended into the lake, then I started my walking loop on the shoreline trail. There weren’t many places to stop and fish along the trail, but I enjoyed the quiet of each stop. It was late afternoon on a cloudy mid-week day and so the parking lot was bare, and there were few swimmers in the lake or hikers on the trails.

Nearly 3/4 the way around the lake I saw a log several feet from the shore and parallel to it. The log served as a harbour from the wind that rippled the water beyond it. The contrast on the surface was stark. On the far side, the lake was rippled and murky. On the shoreline side the water was smooth as glass, a mirror for trees and the sky above. The log served as the dividing line, separating the two distinct surfaces as if the log were a rift between two different realities.

It didn’t seem real. One lake, two very different surfaces, a single log creating the separation. I began to think of how we can do this in our minds. We are surrounded by chaos, or distractions, or by the stresses of work, and yet we can tuck these distractions away, for a moment with loved ones, or for a favourite hobby, or for a quiet moment alone. We can compartmentalize moments of stillness in times that are not remotely still.

We are capable of this, but do we do it enough? Do we create the time and space for our minds, or parts of our minds, to be still?

Embrace the suck

I’ve been meditating for at least 10 minutes every day for just over 6 months… and I suck at it.

There are days where I can’t concentrate on my breath for more than 3 breaths without my mind wondering off to a myriad of topics from the mundane to the ridiculous. This is when, in the past, I’d just give up. Before this attempt, I’ve never lasted more than a week without getting frustrated and quitting meditation.

Then in a number of podcasts (and audio books) I listen to I kept hearing things like: meditation isn’t about emptying your mind, it’s about bring yourself back when you realize your thoughts have drifted; And, meditation isn’t about a destination, but rather about the journey.

I tried to change my self-talk, but when I’m 9 minutes into a guided meditation and the guide says, “For the last minute I want you to…”, and I feel like I’ve been scattered for the full 9 minutes, the feeling of ‘I suck’ comes back whether I want it to or not.

So, rather than fight it, I decided to embrace it. Six months in, I still suck at meditation, but I’m less and less upset with my distractions. I’m more tolerant with myself when I recognize I’ve drifted into distracted thinking.

I couldn’t convince myself that I was getting better until I accepted and embraced the suck.

**UPDATE: August 12, 2019 – found this image and thought it was worth sharing: