I’ve been meditating for at least 10 minutes every day for just over 6 months… and I suck at it.
There are days where I can’t concentrate on my breath for more than 3 breaths without my mind wondering off to a myriad of topics from the mundane to the ridiculous. This is when, in the past, I’d just give up. Before this attempt, I’ve never lasted more than a week without getting frustrated and quitting meditation.
Then in a number of podcasts (and audio books) I listen to I kept hearing things like: meditation isn’t about emptying your mind, it’s about bring yourself back when you realize your thoughts have drifted; And, meditation isn’t about a destination, but rather about the journey.
I tried to change my self-talk, but when I’m 9 minutes into a guided meditation and the guide says, “For the last minute I want you to…”, and I feel like I’ve been scattered for the full 9 minutes, the feeling of ‘I suck’ comes back whether I want it to or not.
So, rather than fight it, I decided to embrace it. Six months in, I still suck at meditation, but I’m less and less upset with my distractions. I’m more tolerant with myself when I recognize I’ve drifted into distracted thinking.
I couldn’t convince myself that I was getting better until I accepted and embraced the suck.
**UPDATE: August 12, 2019 – found this image and thought it was worth sharing:
