Tag Archives: doubt

Take action despite fear and doubt

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This weekend I had the opportunity to see Chris Williamson speak at the Vogue Theatre.

A few things he said seemed to circle around a theme of taking action despite fear and doubt. Here are some of the ideas he shared:
(I took notes not perfect quotes, but all the ideas below came from Chris.)

He quoted Christopher Hutchins, “In life we must choose our regrets.” This is a feature, not a bug. You can’t pick the right path and not still have regrets for not making another choice, choosing another path. Which regret do you want? Which regret can you not live with?

Contemplate the consequences of inaction. Don’t pretend that inaction does not have a price. (ie. The anxiety cost of ‘I still have X to do today.’)

Belief: Self-belief never waivers when the hero decides on his journey… But there is doubt ALL ALONG THE WAY! That’s why it’s so easy to fall back into old patterns.

We aren’t afraid of failure, we are afraid of what other will say when we fail… Don’t outsource your self image to the opinions of others.

Best question to ask: What is it that ‘you tomorrow‘ would want ‘you today‘ to do? Optimize for your future self.

Don’t follow what most people do… you don’t want the results they get.

You make the most progress when things are hard… and looking back, in retrospect, would you avoid them if you could, now that you’ve accomplished those hard things?

You don’t need to be certain, just confident that you are moving in the right direction. Have a bias for action.

He also quoted Jocko Willink regarding the fact that you can’t fake bravery. Pretending to be brave when you are scared IS bravery. Motivation is similar, just do the thing… Preparing isn’t the thing, neither is telling people, writing about the fact that you are going to do the thing, reading about it, or fantasizing about it. Again, just do the thing.

And finally, on this topic, an audience member quoted Chis during the Q&A, “The magic that you are looking for is in the thing that you are avoiding.

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How much of our lives are spent questioning ourselves, doubting ourselves, and avoiding action for fear of an outcome we don’t want?

I’ve shared this before, but when my wife and I were deciding if we were going to take our young family to China to take jobs as principal and teacher in a Foreign National school, we discussed it for over 2 hours late one night. We didn’t come to any conclusion, and the next night after work we put the kids down to sleep, and we sat down to continue the conversation. We made tea and popcorn and prepared for another marathon discussion, and then one of us (neither of us remember who) said, “If we don’t do this, will we regret it?” Absolutely. We had decided. The discussion moved to how to tell the kids. Any regrets for going would be overshadowed by the regret of not going.

As a photographer, I never regretted taking a photo, but I regretted the photographs that I never took.

We avoid time under tension, even though we know it strengthens us, “We cannot strengthen our resilience unless we face things that are challenging us for longer than we could previously tolerate.”

And as a final thought from me, Avoidance is easy, “How much time do we spend in a state of busyness rather than dealing with business? Avoiding the real task by doing other things, or worse yet doing something that’s merely a distraction. Some things get automated, habits get ritualized, and the work just gets done. But sometimes the struggle is real. The action avoidance becomes the easy task and the work doesn’t become the work, but actually just getting down to work. Because once you start the work gets done.”

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Also related: Be Fearless, James Clear on The pain of inaction, and many posts on failure.

Uncertainty and doubt

I had a dream last night. In it someone I care about was asking my why I even bother writing my daily blog? She called it boring and a waste of time. In all honesty, this being said in my dream bugged me more than if the person in my dream actually said it in person. It bothered me because I am the author of my dreams, not the people I see in them.

So essentially I was casting doubt on myself. That’s harsh.

Why bother? Why make the effort? Who do I think I am, that anyone would care to read what I have to say? These are the internal voices of uncertainty and doubt. These are questions that tear me down rather than build me up.

These are the pangs that prevent people from sharing their ideas, their writing, their art, their creative expression, and even their love.

“I’m not good enough.”

“Other people are so much better.”

“I’m not creative enough.”

“I have nothing of value to say.”

It’s easier to silence the naysayers than it is to silence your own inner voice. I can handle all kinds of feedback. I can learn from the harshest of criticism. A perfect example is an angry, yelling coach never upset me, I just took the feedback.

But that inside voice… that nagging self-doubt, that self-uncertainty, that is something I do not always battle well with. It holds me back. It keeps me from speaking up, from stepping up, from confidently sharing my thoughts and opinions.

Why is it that the internal battles we face are so much harder than the outside ones?

What helps me is consistency. It’s developing habits where I can push through the uncertainty and doubt. It’s creating small accomplishments that lead me to successful outcomes. No, I’m not going to be the athlete I was in my 20’s ever again… but I’m fitter now than I ever was in my 30’s and 40’s, and I suffer less back pain than I did in my 20’s. Oh, and no one workout got me where I am today.

In fact it wasn’t the good workouts that got me here, it was the days that I didn’t want to work out, the times I had to talk myself into just going through the motions that made me get to this point. I’m floundering a bit right now with working out, but I still get my butt on my stationary bike or treadmill every day. I still don’t let myself miss 2 days in a row, and rarely let myself miss 3 days in a week.

Some days I might hit the publish button on my blog and think ‘that’s not a great post’. But I still hit the button, I still make the effort. I still read over my work and try to edit it. And I still get mad at myself when I see a typo or wrong word published. The same critic that tries to stop me can also be my friend. It doesn’t just shut me down, it adds an element of high expectations towards all my final work.

And that’s why my dream this morning hurt me a bit. It was my inner voice being a gremlin, trying to find fault with myself, my work, my creativity. Uncertainty and doubt are not usually our friends, they are the bedfellows of procrastination and excuses. They are the enemies of confidence and productivity. And while they may lay dormant for a while, they can creep up on us when we least expect it. Like in our dreams…

But I’m awake now. It’s time to hit the publish button. It’s time to get on the treadmill. There is work to be done and I’ll just tuck the uncertainty and doubt away.