Tag Archives: disposition

Definition of anger

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Heard this a few days ago and it has stuck with me.

The definition of anger: An emotional punishment you give yourself for someone else’s behaviour.

Kinda makes my little road rage about someone not using their indicator feel a little stupid.

I think there are times when anger might be an appropriate response. But how many times is it just unnecessary self punishment? How often does it linger too long? How much mental energy is used to hold on to angry thoughts?

And who ultimately pays the price for being or staying angry?

Rain drain

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I got out to do a walk with my family this morning and we were lucky not to get wet. It has been raining on and off since about 30 minutes after we got home. I was hoping to take my mom out to see the Christmas lights around a nearby lake but she won’t walk in the rain. I’m used to it now but my mom thinks we are crazy to choose to walk in the rain.

I get it, she grew up in the Caribbean, and if it rained you just waited it out for 10 minutes while the cloud went by. But that won’t work living in Vancouver, on the edge of a rainforest.

Today while scrolling on social media I saw a clip that said, “Things to do in Canada during the winter.” Then the clip changed to a closeup of a person pulling a suitcase in an airport and the caption read, “Leave”. 😝

I ran a few errands in the rain, it isn’t a big deal, but I have to say that I am already looking forward to winter being over. I don’t think my wife would ever want to leave Canada, and I get it… this is a great place to live. However I have to admit that the rain does get to me a bit, and I yearn for sunshine.

But I’ll just keep taking my Vitamin D, using my daylight light, and dreaming of sunnier days. And yes, I’ll still get outside even if it’s raining.

A wonderful rainy day

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It was raining and cold this morning and that was enough to have me remain in bed much longer than usual. Ever notice how the weather can dictate how you feel? Cold wind and rain can invite contemplative melancholy. It’s not a sadness but it is lazy. The bed covers become more inviting. The day ahead seems more distant.

It’s mid afternoon now and I’ve enjoyed a day of listening to music and an audio book. I’ve exercised and am now laying in a slightly damp hammock enjoying Enya’s album ‘The Memory of Trees’ while I write. I’ll be leaving shortly for an early dinner out… no food prep required.

Today I let the weather dictate my actions. I had a cozy, rainy day. Holidays are so often about taking action, today felt quite action-less and yet fully enjoyable. I’d be bored doing this frequently, but not today. Today I embraced the weather and even as I finish writing I don’t plan on leaving the hammock. I have yet more of nothing to do today.

Don’t let the rain stop you

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I’m writing this at the edge of Allouette lake in Golden Ears Provincial Park, 8:30 PM Tuesday. I’m here with three teachers and 18 students who will be spending the night in the campground nearby. It’s pouring rain. Actually right now it’s a little on the light side, but it has been continuous and at times quite heavy since we arrived, five hours ago.

It’s starting to get dark and we will be walking back in just a few minutes, but I’ve got a little window of time to dictate this while I stand near the steepest part of the path leading to the lake. Three students didn’t want to come down this section I didn’t want to leave them behind so I’m hovering back as the other students return this way from walking along the shore.

On a miserable day like this it would’ve been easy to cancel the camping trip. The rain has been relentless, but in all honesty it hasn’t dampened spirits. When we get back to the campsite we will roast some marshmallows either on the propane fire or on the open fire pit if we can get one started there.

The message is simple, too often we cancel things because conditions aren’t perfect. We look for excuses when in actual fact it’s just laziness or thinking that because conditions aren’t perfect, the trip might be ruined. In reality, we can make many more opportunities work than we actually take. It just takes a little effort and a small shift in attitude. There were a couple cancellations made by students and/or their parents over the last couple days, and the forecast might have been one of the reasons. Those are the students that lost out. Not a single student here is losing out.

We live on the edge of a rainforest. If we think that rain is a reason to cancel something then we are really missing out on a significant part of the year when we can find joy in the simplest of things.

Camping in the rain might not be as good as camping on a warm, beautiful day, but that doesn’t take away from the opportunity we have regardless of the weather.

Kids are heading back this way now, and so I think I’ll end this right here. I need to be present and enjoy their presence… no matter what the weather looks like.

Making good choices

Sometimes there are big choices to make, and they are hard. Some things aren’t cut-and-dry and easy to determine that, ‘this is the best choice to make’. These big decisions are often literally about cutting away possibilities. The good and right choice isn’t always clear.

But there are other choices we make that don’t demand a lot of choice and energy. They are tiny moments of little thought, not big decisive moments… yet they can make a huge difference.

A car slows down in front of you causing you to break, then they put their indicator on just before turning. Do you aggressively attack your car horn? Do you swear and call the driver a foul name? Or do you take a deep breath, and go on your merry way.

You have an exchange with a coworker that doesn’t go well. Do you gossip behind their back? Stay angry all day? Go back to try to resolve the issue? Seek advice? Or even just move on, not allowing a small issue to grow larger in your mind?

You wake up and your morning doesn’t go as planned. Do you decide it’s just going to be a crappy day? Do something to make yourself feel better? Or just decide that it’s still going to be a great day despite the small issue that didn’t go as planned?

We spend a lot of time thinking about the big decisions in life and often don’t realize the 1,000 little decisions that we don’t think as much about matter just as much or more.

Often we build up habits of mind that make these decisions for us. I don’t want to curse at the idiot driving in front of me but when I pull up behind someone at a red light, in the left lane of a two lane road with no left turn lane, and then they put their left turn indicator on only after the light turns green, profanity escapes my mouth. I don’t even think about it, but then I drive away angry.

This isn’t a good choice to make, but it’s like it is made for me… decided in the moment without choice. Times like this are when good choices are hard, but healthy. Good choices sometimes need to be intentional. Good choices take effort when the choices in similar situations beforehand led to less than desirable choices.

We can build a good life by focussing on choosing better small choices throughout the day, and interestingly enough, this can help us choose the right path when the bigger, harder choices come our way.