Tag Archives: attention

Time to read

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I haven’t been able to start a book in a couple months. I still listen to podcasts, but I usually also have a book on the go. Right now there isn’t a book that’s grabbing my interest. My last book was Revenge of the Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell, and I can’t tell you a single takeaway that I got from it.

Tipping Point was amazing. I read that shortly after it came out 25 years ago and I still remember things from it. Part of this is that the original was so much better than the sequel, but part of it is that I’m not listening to absorb right now. For the first time in 5 plus years I’m thinking of trying to read a paper book.

I love audio books. I find way more time to listen than to read, and while I used to read 3-5 books a year, I usually listen to 15-20+. But right now I can’t seem to stay focused on audio.

So maybe I put on my reading glasses and try paper again… but first I need a good book suggestion.

Full schedule

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For the last few days almost every minute of my day has been scheduled. It’s Friday morning and I’ve just decided to skip a breakfast meeting that I usually enjoy going to because instead of it felling like a good way to star the day, it feels like one more thing I have to run to and get back from. As it turns out, my weekend is almost as booked up as my week.

One simple indicator of a full schedule is when I’m constantly playing phone tag with people. When I’m having to constantly juggle trying to call people while listening to their messages and reading their texts, I know things have been busy. Less subtle is the fatigue, it sneaks up on me. I feel run down, my fitness routine goes into maintenance mode. My meditations are filled with distraction and a constant need to remind myself that I can think about the upcoming day later. And did I mention the fatigue? I feel tired and ready for bed before dinner, and the day is far from over.

I’m actually writing this at 6am, on my treadmill… One hand gripping the support rail, the other typing. I’m just skipping my meditation today, it won’t be meditative. Instead I’m going to listen to some soft music and really get a good stretch in. On the way to work I’m going to buy myself a triple shot Americano and maybe some egg bites.

I’m going to build in a slow start to my day, before my feet hit the metaphorical spinning hamster wheel, and I’m going to find my center. The more I think about it, the more relieved I feel about missing my breakfast meeting. My schedule is still a bit crazy for the next few days but at least this morning I have some control over it, and I’m grounding myself.

Then it’s head down and off I go!

It’s the little things

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Sometimes the path to a big goal gets in the way of the small moments along the way.

Sometimes the scheduled events in your calendar rob you of the time in between meetings.

Sometimes you have to just stop thinking about what’s next, and focus on what’s now… because sometimes the little things you do in a day, with others, are more important than anything coming your way.

Appreciate the little things happening now, don’t let them slip by while looking ahead. Those moments yet to come are not lost yet, but the little things you didn’t pay attention to earlier today… those are gone now.

Audio attention

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A few years ago I exclusively switched from reading books to listening to them. I was never a fast reader and always struggled with my attention when reading. I’d get lost in thought and read whole pages without absorbing any of the content. In fact, sometimes while reading I could turn back one page and not remember reading any part of it.

So for me, audio books were a blessing. I could just listen and absorb. However, I’m going through a phase now where I’m losing my attention while listening. My wondering mind becomes a wandering mind and I tune out the sound. When this happens, only one thing seems to get me out of it and that’s a good fiction book. By moving from learning content to enjoying an adventure, I start to tune back in.

So, I’ll put my current read on hold, I’ll skip my next planned read, and I’ll find myself a good fiction book to get lost in. Normally I save fiction for holiday time, but there’s no use listening to something informative now, if every few minutes I’m hitting the rewind button.

I need a good fiction audio book to remind me what it means to listen intently and pay attention.

Social media algorithm

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Sometimes I get sucked right into the death scroll. I am pulled into the vortex of swiping to the next video and being fully engaged entertained by what’s on my phone screen. I laugh out loud, I share with friends and family, I am amazed, I am enlightened. But mostly I’m entertained and distracted.

There is a love/hate relationship to this scrolling. I find it a healthy escape, better than watching a half hour TV show that has less than 22 minutes of actual show, and an often painful laugh track. Why watch something produced for the masses instead of a stream of vignettes that an algorithm caters to me? I also despise the time suck sometimes, wishing I got my butt off the couch because the 30 minutes I thought I was going to spend ends up being longer. Or worse yet, a quick check of the phone leads me into a direction I wasn’t planning on going.

I think my use is mostly healthy, but if I’m honest there are times when it’s really not. My week days are pretty manageable, with my scrolling primarily happening after dinner, but weekends tend to be a different story. Sometimes I can spend way too long staring at my phone. The algorithm figures me out and feeds me a continuous flow of entertaining distraction.

I don’t need to go on a social media diet, it’s not a problem, but it is something I need to pay attention to. Am I using the algorithm to provide a bit of entertainment, or is it merely a time-sucking distraction? Am I in control or am I letting the algorithm control me?

Distraction and Focus

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I spent spent 45 minutes on social media. That wasn’t my intent, I have a to-do list that will take me a fair bit of time, and I haven’t don’t my normal daily routines, like writing here, yet. Now that I’m here, I’m focused. I have my headphones on, and my ‘Writing’ playlist playing softly in my ears. I know that I won’t be distracted, and I won’t get up from my laptop until I hit the ‘Publish’ button. I know how to focus, how to stay on a task until it’s done. The issue isn’t the doing, it’s the getting started. Once I’ve started, it will get done (usually) efficiently and (usually) effectively, (I’m far from perfect).

But the world is full of distractions. My phone is probably the biggest one. But so are things like feeding the cat, doing the dishes, television, and tasks that are easier to do than getting started on something bigger. Social media algorithms are designed to keep me engaged, learning from me, and pointing me to things that will keep me scrolling, liking, sharing, and wanting more. I’m not the only one. I love when my wife has to do report cards, suddenly she finds the time to bake, and I get my fill of things like chocolate chip cookies and banana loaf. As a 30 year teacher, I can tell you that she writes amazing report cards that really show that she has put thought into every report… every kid. But before she spends hours on the task, she bakes, cleans, and finds many reasons not get started.

Distractions can be useful, after all the cat does need to be fed and the dishes won’t clean themselves. But distractions can also be a complete waste of time. They can suck time up like a vacuum. A vacuum only sucks what you point it at, and likewise if you point your distractions towards a time-waster, that’s all it takes in. Part of me knows that I work a bit better when I have a deadline, and today I have one with a family commitment in a few hours that will take up the rest of my day. So, after being distracted for 45 minutes, I’m now wondering if I’ll get everything done that I hope to finish. How much less stress would I have placed on myself if I had used that 45 minutes better? Or would I have done the same amount of tasks but simply spread them out to fill the time?

I’ll never get rid of all the distractions I have, but I do think often about how to reduce the ones where I don’t use my time well. I battle with the joy I get from death scrolling on social media, and the thoughts I have about how much better I can use that time. What if I used that time for more writing? What if I spent that time with family and friends? What if I actually started doing archery again? Those are not things I would consider distractions. Those are things I’d like to focus on. Will they give me the same dopamine kick social media gives me? Probably not, but the dopamine spike doesn’t seem like something I should focus on.  That just seems like an empty distraction.

A (creepy) digital friend

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What is Friend? Watch this reveal trailer.

No matter how I look at it, this feels creepy and dystopian. Even when I think of positive things, like perhaps helping someone with special needs, or emotional support for someone with anorexia, the idea of this all-seeing AI friend seems off putting.

Even this advertising doesn’t resonate well with me. In the scene with the guys playing video games, the boy wants to check in with his digital friend rather than pay attention to his friends in the room. And in the final scene with the girl and boy on the roof, I thought at first the girl was candidly trying to take a photo of the boy, but then realized she was just fighting the urge to converse with the AI friend. Either of those scenarios feels like she has replaced a phone distraction with a more present and more engaging distraction… from life.

There are a lot of new artificial intelligence tools that are on their way, and I’m excited about the possibilities, but this one has a high creep factor that doesn’t seem to me like it’s adding the value I think it intends to.

Packing and unpacking

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How much time do we spend in preparation for travel and events? I’ve got a 24 hour turnaround from one trip to the next and I’m thinking of everything I have to do before and during that time. From packing up our camping gear to the long drive home to laundry, it seems my mind is more on what I have to do than it is on what I’m actually doing.

I’ve been thinking a lot about being fully present recently, and I’m realizing how often my mind drifts to ‘other than now’. Reflecting, planning, preparing, and generally thinking about ‘not now’. I realize preparation for something in the future is important, and arriving somewhere unprepared is unpleasant… but I also think I waste a lot of time and energy not being fully present.

Now if you’ll excuse me, future me needs me to go have a good workout. Present me will do my best to enjoy it.

Fully Present

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To be fully present is challenging. To keep focus and not let attention sway. To listen without worrying about what to say next. To not let the mind drift to the next task, or any other task. To quiet distracting thoughts, and to be singularly engaged.

A child at play, an engrossed artist, an athlete in the zone, a writer in a stream of consciousness, an inspired entrepreneur, a reader enthralled in a good book… all moments of focus… all hints of what we are capable of, when we are fully present.

In everyday living it is elusive. Distractions reign, and partial presence prevails. But oh, how special those fully present moments are… they are moments when you are living your full potential.

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Related: “You have my divided attention”

Restless relaxation

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I’m relaxing in a hammock, in the shade, at a campground, listening to a playlist titled ‘Writing 2’, and I’m restless. I dealt with a work issue earlier. Nothing challenging, just needed to give some quick guidance around an issue and all is well. Still, that put my head in a bit of ‘work mode’ and now I don’t feel like I’m relaxing, but rather that I’m being unproductive.

Stupid… I know.

But that’s where I go sometimes. I get into a mode where relaxing feels like ‘not doing anything useful’. And so, music on, blogging app open, and I can suddenly feel productive. I’m writing. The good news is that this actually feels relaxing. I’m still in the hammock, I’m comfortable, and my impulse to be productive will be a little more subdued after I hit the Publish button.

I think it’s time to head to the lake now, and switch to my audiobook. Again, a chance to feel like I’m doing something… useful. Because I don’t know how to relax doing nothing.