I started my career teaching middle schoolers for 9 years. Every spring I had a chat with the kids about how their bodies were changing and it was time for them to start showering more frequently, if they didn’t already shower every day. And if they weren’t already using deodorant, it was time to talk to their parents about getting some… and then actually using it every day.
I always started with the same line, “I’d rather tell you than smell you.” I would follow up with, “…and if I tell you, I’m doing you a favour, because I don’t get as close to you as your friends do, and so if I smell you, your friends can smell you too. And because I’m doing you a favour, I’m not going to be embarrassed about telling you.”
I will admit that a few times over the years I chose to have a female teacher address this with a female student. This was because in these circumstances I thought it would be devastating to the child if I said it, and the intent is to help them, not horrify them.
Now that I’m in a high school I still use that line. I said it last Monday as we started weight club, and I’ll share it again in the spring. I had the conversation with a boy in Grade 10 a few years ago, and he thanked me publicly, in front of friends and their families in a grad speech. That was something I never expected.
It’s not mean, it’s an uncomfortable thing to share, but not as uncomfortable as the student’s friends would feel, sitting all day next to someone that could use a shower or some deodorant. It’s easier for me to say something, than it is for their friends.
