Tag Archives: writer’s block

The struggle is real

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Today I wanted to quit. I’ve procrastinated for over an hour and a half, and my morning routine will be incomplete. Doubt kept circulating in my head. I feel like I have absolutely nothing to say. It’s been six plus years of writing every day… maybe today it ends. Done.

Well, the fact that these words are written here says that I beat today’s demons. That said, it feels painfully cliche to write about how hard it is sometimes to write. Trite.

It’s a day to remember that if every day was easy it wouldn’t be worth doing. A day to remember that it’s not every day that we can do our best work, and in fact 50% of those days will be our worst 50%. You can’t do better than that on average, the math doesn’t math.

My fingers are moving, words are appearing before me, constructed from thoughts in my head, and another Daily-Ink will be published. I didn’t quit. I also didn’t add any real qualitative value, but I didn’t quit.

Tomorrow will be easier. I say that rather unconvincingly, but with honest hope. Sometimes the blank screen is daunting, and painful to look at. It’s a prison wall more than a screen. Today was one of those days. I’ve scaled the wall, not step by step but word by word, flowing better now because the page is no longer blank. The prison break was successful.

But am I really free? Is my choice to write daily an opportunity for artistic expression, or is it a life sentence? Today it feels like the latter. When that feeling comes more than 50% of the time, I will need to consider freeing myself, but for now I’ll keep writing.

Writing is my artistic expression. My keyboard is my brush. Words are my medium. My blog is my canvas. And committing to writing daily makes me feel like an artist.

Creativity struggle

The one place in my life right now that I seem to be struggling is with being creative. I can find time for everything I need to do… except when I want to do something creative. This includes writing. It doesn’t seem to be about time, it seems to be more about focus.

I can put my head down and get to work. I can push myself on the treadmill or exercise bike. I’m struggling a bit to work out hard for strength exercises, but I still do them. I’m home a good amount of time now after a lot of late nights at work to start the school year, and I have been sticking to my routines that I’ve created.

But I can’t seem to focus on listening to books or podcasts. I can’t sit and start any creative tasks, and I find myself easily distracted any time I have down time. Normally blog post ideas come at me and I throw them into a note on my phone, or I see something interesting and my mind starts making connections to new ideas. Normally, but not right now. Now I’m in a bit of a creative slump. I’ll keep my routines that are working. I’ll try to get more sleep, since I tend to not get enough, and I won’t try to add anything new to my plate. I think I’ve got enough going on.

The one thing that seems to be working well right now is a new meditation app called Balance. So I’ll continue to meditate, exercise, and of course write something daily, all while being grateful for the things going well right now. I don’t know what to do differently to spark my creative juices, so I won’t stir things up, I’ll just be patient. It’s hard to come up with creative ways to be more creative when you aren’t feeling creative.

Not the right headspace

I’ve started three posts before settling on this topic. One has been tucked into my drafts, the other two I just deleted. The one in my drafts is related to an issue I’m dealing with and I realize it’s too sensitive to mention right now… I’m still sorting out a sensitive challenge and a public blog is not where I should be hashing our my thoughts on the topic. The other two ideas are both things I’ve addressed in the past, and I’m not sure I’d add any value bringing them up again.

It bugs me when the main creative thought going through my head is one that I don’t feel comfortable writing about. It’s hard to turn off those thoughts and come up with some other line of thinking to share. When my thoughts are so focused on the things I can’t write about, I get stuck. I’m writing this 49 minutes later than planned and I’m going to miss my morning workout.

This doesn’t happen often, and so when it does it bothers me. I think it’s part of getting back to work and having a more disciplined routine than I had to have in the summer. In the summer, if I was stuck, if I wasn’t in the right headspace, I’d delay my write. But now I’m back to a more focused time crunch, and being overly thoughtful about a topic I can’t write about is enough to put me in a rut.

It’s pretty darn hard to write something every single day. To hit that publish button on days when you don’t feel like it. To write something less thoughtful or expressive than hoped and still decide to share it. But that’s part of the art. Nobody writes their best every day. Nobody finds the right headspace day in and day out.

Sometimes the art of showing up is how you ensure you are practicing your art. Today I was in the wrong headspace, and yet here I am finishing my post. I believe tomorrow, and in the future, I will be a better writer because I chose to write anyway… To write despite my headspace, rather than skipping a day because the muse wasn’t there.

“Inspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it.” – Madeleine L’Engle

The antidote to writer’s block

…is this. It’s writing.

Last night before bed, I stared at a blank screen and tried writing. Nothing came to me. I started to write a number of post titles, and then I’d erase them. I looked at my saved drafts, underwhelmed and uninspired. I fell asleep working on this. I woke up with a blank page.

Fifteen minutes this morning I have stared at the blank page, thinking of a memorable moment to share, and concluding that I live a boring life. Wondering what I have of value to share, I realized that I’m stuck. If I wait any longer I will have to skip my morning workout. So I just start writing about writer’s block.

The most important thing about art is to work. Nothing else matters except sitting down every day and trying. ~Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

I’ve been here before, I’ll end up here again, it’s a creative wall we must all get over. But if I skip this hurdle, and avoid writing today, it permits me to do so again. If I sit here and don’t write, not putting these words ‘out there’, then I’ll miss my workout, thus permitting my block in one area to create a block in another.

But if I write about this block again tomorrow, then I’m skipping the hurdle in a different way. So, I give myself permission to write about writer’s block today, so that these paragraphs can unblock me.

The page is no longer blank.