I’ve started three posts before settling on this topic. One has been tucked into my drafts, the other two I just deleted. The one in my drafts is related to an issue I’m dealing with and I realize it’s too sensitive to mention right now… I’m still sorting out a sensitive challenge and a public blog is not where I should be hashing our my thoughts on the topic. The other two ideas are both things I’ve addressed in the past, and I’m not sure I’d add any value bringing them up again.
It bugs me when the main creative thought going through my head is one that I don’t feel comfortable writing about. It’s hard to turn off those thoughts and come up with some other line of thinking to share. When my thoughts are so focused on the things I can’t write about, I get stuck. I’m writing this 49 minutes later than planned and I’m going to miss my morning workout.
This doesn’t happen often, and so when it does it bothers me. I think it’s part of getting back to work and having a more disciplined routine than I had to have in the summer. In the summer, if I was stuck, if I wasn’t in the right headspace, I’d delay my write. But now I’m back to a more focused time crunch, and being overly thoughtful about a topic I can’t write about is enough to put me in a rut.
It’s pretty darn hard to write something every single day. To hit that publish button on days when you don’t feel like it. To write something less thoughtful or expressive than hoped and still decide to share it. But that’s part of the art. Nobody writes their best every day. Nobody finds the right headspace day in and day out.
Sometimes the art of showing up is how you ensure you are practicing your art. Today I was in the wrong headspace, and yet here I am finishing my post. I believe tomorrow, and in the future, I will be a better writer because I chose to write anyway… To write despite my headspace, rather than skipping a day because the muse wasn’t there.
“Inspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it.” – Madeleine L’Engle
