Tag Archives: tradition

Back to (almost) normal

Tonight, at the Inquiry Hub grad, will be the first time in a few years where I’m going to be talking to a live audience larger than a classroom. This is just another example of things going back to normal… except in 2019, when I spoke it was to an audience of most of the students and parents from our school. This year we only invited the grads and their parents, not the whole community.

The reason for the bigger audience in 2019 is that our grad isn’t just a grad, it’s an annual celebration with awards and we used to invite everyone. But the school was smaller and in 2020 we were planning to move to a bigger venue before the pandemic cancelled the big event. For 2022, after 2 years of grads crossing the stage individually with just their family in the audience, we chose this year to host only the grads at this event and to stream the event live for everyone else.

This is probably something we’ll do from now on. Times change. Traditions change. What’s ‘normal’ changes. That’s the theme of my speech, that normal changes, and this could be a good thing. We don’t have to go back to what used to be pre-pandemic. We can change things up, make things better, blend old and new.

When my family moved to China it was a major culture shock. Things changed for us drastically, and we adapted. When we returned from China, that was a really stressful point in my marriage. My wife and I fell back into old habits, but we weren’t the same people anymore. It was a major adjustment and a lot of work to create a new connection and relationship that wasn’t just the version from two years previous.

This is an exciting time to be living in, we’ve just had a very foreign two year experience, and now we’ve got to decide what do we keep from the pre-pandemic experience, and what do we change, for the better, thanks to living through the pandemic experience?

What’s the new normal that’s better than the old normal?

Colonial noose

“New Zealand male lawmakers are no longer required to wear a necktie in parliament after the rule was dropped following a Maori MP’s protest, calling a tie a ‘colonial noose’.” (Reuters)

I’ve always hated neck ties. What kind of society are we in where we teach young boys that, to be formal, you must tie a noose around your neck and make sure it is nice and snug?

What a ridiculous fashion accessory.

I wore a tie almost every day for 2 years in China. As a principal there, it was an expectation. I wear one once every one to two months here, only when I am entering a meeting where I feel it is important to be formal, such as when I’m representing my district, or my schools in a formal way.

If I can avoid wearing a noose, I will. I know others that wear them all the time. I don’t judge them in any way, it’s fine if they want to, choose to, like to wear them. But I get no pleasure in wearing them myself. I don’t feel dressed up in them, I feel constricted. I feel like an animal in a choker collar.

The only time a tie should be worn is at a costume party when dressed up as someone from a time long past. Or maybe at a ball or Galla, like wearing a cummerbund with a tuxedo. Beyond that, I’d love to see the ‘colonial noise’ disappear from regular formal wear.

A 30 year tradition

It was either Christmas Eve 1989 or 1990 and I was home from universtiy for the holidays. My friend Ross and I had yet to do any Christmas shopping. We drove to a huge mall with a restaurant, ordered lunch and had a few beers, then started shopping. At first we shopped together, but that wasn’t working so we split up. This was the pre-cellphone era so we made plans to meet in an hour. At that point we talked a bit about our purchases, gave each other ideas, and planned a second meeting.

I don’t remember if we split up again or just stuck together after that, but we ended up back at the restaurant, ordered coffees, and then started being brutally honest with each other about how good (and bad) we thought our purchases were for our family members. This resulted in a return or two, and some more purchases, before eating again and heading home.

By 1993 I was living in Vancouver and the commute to Toronto was a bit too far to make Christmas Eve plans with Ross. I have spent a few Christmases ‘back home’ and sure enough we still kept the tradition going, but we’ve celebrated this day many more times at a distance. So, every Christmas Eve morning I get a call from Ross. Every Christmas Eve for 30 years. And hopefully for 30 more.